This ASCII newsletter is best viewed
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ISKCON ki jaya >---------------------
_0/\,
( Please Accept My Respectful Obeisances & Best Wishes To You All)
_0____, All Glories To Srila Prabhupad.
I'd like to Officially welcome everyone
who is receiving this
either directly from me or second
or third hand from friends to
our Network. Many of you will have
had a chance to view our
WWW-site by now - and the feedback
has been appreciated. As we
expand the facility of resource more
pages will appear (there
are 0ver 408 to date, and thousands
of links), and with the
intent of assisting you all in the
smooth execution of your
individual prescribed duties/services/functions
in life, we will
keep you updated. We now go out to
over 800 receivers. I trust that
all is well with everyone by the Mercy
of the Lord. However, if
anyone would like to be removed please
just send me a message
requesting me to do so, and I will
do it promptly. If you are
receiving this from a friend, and
would like to be added
directly to the mailout please also
let me know and
I will do the needful there too. Hare
Krishna. =>B-) JTCd
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|)<>(|)<>(
The Nectar in this Issue: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<
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IN THIS ISSUE:
WWW - news and views:
Calendar Updates.
Apara EkAdasii
Deals for members: More amazing deals for everyone.
Advertisements: check
them out...
Words of Wisdom - Shastra
& Shastrakaras speak:
(Srila Prabhupad &
the previous Acaryas)
At Grass Roots: topical
stuff
Prasadam Recipes: To slake
the thirst of body, mind & soul
Krishna conscious - Vedikly
acceptable jokes:
- Strange but true
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)<>(|)<>(
On the WWW News and Views: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)
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The Interactive Vaishnava Calendar
page is coming along nicely:
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/CalendarWhosWho-page.htm
Now you can view the FULL years 1999-2000 & 2000-2001.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Check out the Ekadasi pages that are
coming together, with links
to every Ekadasi:
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/ekadasi-page.htm
Apara EkAdasii
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/ekadasi-13.htm
----------------------------------------------------------------
Some interesting Youth and Young devotees
/ young Hindus sites.
coming off the main index page:
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/index.htm
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/YoungFOLK.htm
See the new link to NZ Vaishnava Youth
- Kiwi Conference:
http://list.gurukuli.com/mailman/listinfo/kiwi
Send questions mailto:<kiwi-admin@list.gurukuli.com>
---------------------------------------------------------------
Brahma-Madhwa-Gaudiya-sampradaya's
Guru parampara listing:
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/guru-paramp-1page.htm
A Who's Who...... something about everyone
- their pastimes,
teachings, mission, etc. Where they
fit in on the Calendar.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Download your Vaishnava Calendar and
make a hard copy for this
year ( 2000-2001 AD - 514 Gaurabda
) from our site:
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/CalendarWhosWho-page.htm
or if you can't do that and you'd like
a 2000-2001 Calendar for
your longitude, latitude and time
zone ANYWHERE in the world
I can do that for you and e-mail it
to you -
Vaishnava Calendar Software 4.10
MAKE YOUR OWN CALENDAR FOR YOUR LOCATION,
no more dodgy calendars/panchangas/panjikas
from India
Astrologically/Astronomically Accurate and FREE
Please download the software from
http://welcome.to/vcal
mailto:jtcd@xtra.co.nz
---------------------------------------------------------------
DOWNLOADABLE KRISHNA CONSCIOUS BOOKS
FOR FREE:
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/DDB.htm
---------------------------------------------------------------
You have important news to announce
? You want to attract new
visitors to your site ? You're opening
a new site ? You have
products and services to offer, etc.
http://vedaveda.com/pub.html
---------------------------------------------------------------
Please join the Vanaprastha Club at
this address:
http://www.vedaveda.com/groupes/vana.html
---------------------------------------------------------------
HARE KRISHNA AUDIO PAGE - HOURS OF
NECTAREAN KIRTAN TO DOWNLOAD FOR FREE:
http://gauranga.simplenet.com/audio_page.htm
---------------------------------------------------------------
Lots of NEW links ....HEAPS !!! ...have
a surf !
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/index.htm
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|)<>(|)<>(
Deals available for members:: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<
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Bhaktapus is no ordinary Octopus
As well as reaching to the eight directions
He also reaches to the zeneth and
nadir regions
...and to
the spiritual realm.
_,||-._
,' || `.
|\ / ,-.||,-. \ /|
)o),/ ( ( o )( o ) ) \.(o(
/o/// /| `-'\/`-' |\ \\\o\
/ / |\ \( . , )/ /| \ \
| | \o`-/ `\/' \-'o/ | |
\ \ `,'
`.' / /
\. \ `-' ,'| /\ |`. `-' /
,/
\`. `.__,' / / \ \ `.__,' ,'/
\o\ ,' ,' `. `.
/o/
jgs
\o`---' ,' `. `---'o/
`.____,' bhaktapus `.____,'
Bhakta-pus is now reaching out with
his arms to find deals, and
make advantages for devotees who want
to use our network. As new
things happen and become available
we'll keep y'll informed
about discounts and how to have access
to them - what to do.
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/index-deals4-devs.htm
This is a totally free service, we
have worked hard to organise it
please make good use of it for you
development of Krishna Seva.
---------------------------------------------------------------
HARIBOL AGENCIES:
Is an importing company designed to
raise funds for the Wellington
Hare Krishna temple. Run by Mohan
bhai Maror it can supply you with
all your devotional instruments at
a reasonable price.
Mridangas, Harmoniums, Vinas, Sitars,
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Violins, Tambouras, Sarod, Esaraj,
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http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/Haribol-Agencies1.htm
MOHAN IS PREPARING A NEW ORDER FROM INDIA - WHAT DO U NEED ?
For more information contact Mohan
bhai on (04)478-6804
or Jagdish on (04) 478-1414.
mailto:<prasadj@maf.govt.nz>
or Mohan on (04) 478-6804.
-------------------------------------------------------------
CENTURION COOKWARE
Made by devotees for devotional needs.
...the best cooking pots on the market,
used by Iskcon temples,
and Food For Life centres all over
New Zealand, and numerous
hotels, restaurants, and catering
organisations, various sizes
available on demand, copper bottomed,
no pot too big or too
small, fryers - view this page and
contact HRK at Hamilton.
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/centurion.htm
or send an e-mail HERE requesting for
more information:
mailto:<saucepans4U@xtra.co.nz>
---------------------------------------------------------------
Dreams:
http://passthison.com/dreams/?exit=no
----------------------------------------------------------------
Kids projects :
http://paoprj.lucksnet.or.jp/g20h21/index.html
----------------------------------------------------------------
Temple Thoughts - http://members.xoom.com/TempleGarden/Default.htm
How to Survive a Heart Attack
Let's say it's 6:15 p.m. and you're
driving home, (alone of course)
after an unusually hard day on the
job. You're really tired, upset
and frustrated. Suddenly you start
experiencing severe pain in your
chest that starts to radiate out into
your arm and up into your jaw.
You are only about five miles from
the hospital nearest your home;
unfortunately you don't know if you'll
be able to make it that far.
What can you do? You've been trained
in CPR but the guy that taught
the course neglected to tell you how
to perform it on yourself.
(Since many people are alone when they
suffer a heart attack, this
article seemed in order.)
Without help the person whose heart
stops beating properly and who
begins to feel faint, has only about
10 seconds left before losing
consciousness. However, these victims
can help themselves by
coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.
A deep breath should be
taken before each cough, and the cough
must be deep and prolonged,
as when producing sputum from deep
inside the chest. A breath and
a cough must be repeated about every
two seconds without let up
until help arrives, or until the heart
is felt to be beating
normally again.
Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs
and coughing movements
squeeze the heart and keep the blood
circulating. The squeezing
pressure on the heart also helps it
regain normal rhythm. In this
way, heart attack victims can get
to a phone and, between breaths,
call for help.
Tell as many other people as possible
about this, it could save
their lives!
From Health Cares, Rochester General
Hospital via Chapter 240's
newsletter AND THE BEAT GOES ON ...
(reprint from The Mended
Hearts, Inc. publication, Heart Response)
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<>(|)<>(|)<>( Advertisements:
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Make Money for You or Your Project 4 Nothing.
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Please take a moment to have a look
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`---'
CHECK OUT THE DEALS-4-DEVS PAGE 4
KRISHNA CONSCIOUS KIDS GAMES AND
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http://krsnagames.faithweb.com/
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View Ahimsa's Revamped web-page:
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With their new stock of Hand made soaps,
oils, etc.
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The Web has a STAIN TOOL KIT to outdo
your Mum's best remedies.
With a massive index of stain culprits
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this site will mop up your worries
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http://www.chemistry.co.nz/stain_frame.htm
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Free web pages and e-mail
http://www.v3.com/
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Paltalk:
This seriously cool free audio chat
program lets you make unlimited
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Go to:
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---------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you have any services or products
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
Animated Mini-Books
These animated books are the cutest,
coolest thing I've seen
in a long time. It's just like a real
mini-book with turning
pages, but you can keep it right on
your desktop.
Take the cat book, for instance--30
pages of great content,
professional animations and silly
sounds that are activated
when you roll your mouse over the
illustrations. It's user
friendly and can be emailed to you
right away, so start your
virtual library today!
Get it at:
http://mailbits.net/free/get/cat.asp
Make some Krishna conscious ones and
send them to all of us.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Take ADVANTAGE of ALLADVANTAGE passive
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------------------------------------------------------------------
Woodstock 1969 Festival and Concert
http://woodstock69.com/
----------------------------------------------------------------
Loi Bazaar - the virtual marketplace
- a great resource centre:
http://loibazaar.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------
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(|)<>( Words of Wisdom
- Shastra & Shastrakaras speak: )<>(|)<>(
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jgs
__..._ _...__
_..-" `Y` "-._
\ Om namo | bhagavate /
\\ |
//
\\\ VAsudevAya ///
\\\ _..---.|.---.._ ///
\\`_..---.Y.---.._`//
'`
`'
---------------------*-----***-------***-----*-----------------
On-line Bhagavad Gita As It Is:
http://www.prabhupada.com/bg/versus.cgi?ix
---------------------*-----***-------***-----*-----------------
On-line 1972 McMillan edition - bhagavad
Gita As It Is:
http://www.asitis.com/
---------------------------------------------------------------
käma krsna-kärmärpanekrodha
bhakta-dweshi-jane
lobha sädhu-sange hari-kathä
moha ishtha-labha-binemada krsna-guna-gäne
niyukta kariba yathä tathä
I will engage my lust by offering the
fruits of my work to Lord Krsna;
and I will engage my greed by becoming
greedy to hear the glories of
the Lord in the association of saintly
devotees. By not attaining my
worshipable Lord Krsna, I will engage
the quality of bewilderment;
and I will engage madness by becoming
mad to glorify the transcendental
qualities of the Lord. In this way
I will spiritualize these material
qualities for the service of the Lord.
(Narottama däsa Thäkura)
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eGroups DAILY DIGEST: vediculture
covering all manner of topics:
http://www.eGroups.com/list/vediculture/
View the full archives, subscribe/unsubscribe,
use the
group calendar at http://www.eGroups.com/list/vediculture
----------------------------------------------------------------
Bhakti Rasamrita Sindhu of Srila Rupa
Goswami on-line:
http://www.the-gita.net/BRS/index.htm
-----------------------------------------------------------------
dambho darpo ’bhimänash cha
krodhah pärushyam eva cha
ajnänam chäbhijätasya
pärtha sampadam äsurim
TRANSLATION
"Pride, arrogance, conceit, anger,
harshness and ignorance—these
qualities belong to those of demoniac
nature, Oh son of Prithä."
PURPORT
In this verse, the royal road to hell
is described. The demoniac
want to make a show of religion and
advancement in spiritual
science, although they do not follow
the principles. They are
always arrogant or proud in possessing
some type of education or
so much wealth. They desire to be
worshiped by others, and demand
respectability, although they do not
command respect. Over trifles
they become very angry and speak harshly,
not gently. They do not
know what should be done and what
should not be done. They do
everything whimsically, according
to their own desire, and they do
not recognize any authority. These
demoniac qualities are taken on
by them from the beginning of their
bodies in the wombs of their
mothers, and as they grow they manifest
all these inauspicious
qualities. (A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami
Prabhupada. Bhagavad Gita AS IT
IS BG 16:4. text and purport.)
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QUESTION: What activities did
Mohammed, the founder of Islam, condemn?
a. Keeping animals in captivity.
b. Wearing animals' skin.
c. Experimenting on animals.
d. Bullfights.
ANSWER: All of the above.
The Koran quotes the prophet Mohammed
as saying, "A good deed done
to an animal is as meritorious as
a good deed done to a human being,
while an act of cruelty to an animal
is as bad as an act of cruelty
to a human being."
Mohammed called it "a great sin for
a man to imprison those animals
which are in his power," banned all
animal fights and forbade the
commercial trade in animal skins.
Retired Islamic Imam Al-Hafiz
Basheer Ahmad Masri, an expert on
Islamic teachings on animals,
says that "any interference with the
body of a live animal which
causes pain or disfigurement is contrary
to the Islamic principles."
Courtesy of mailto:"Vegetarian
Resource Centre" <MaynardClark@post.Harvard.edu>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Please chant:
hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna
hare hare
hare rama hare rama rama rama
hare hare
.......and your life will
become sublime.
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daivi sampada ye tär muktira
käran
äsuri sampada hay samsära
vandhan
tomära chintära kathä
nähi he pändava
daivi sampade tomär hayechhe
janam
Text 5: The transcendental qualities
are conducive to liberation,
whereas the demoniac qualities make
for bondage. Do not worry, Oh
son of PANDu, for you are born with
the divine qualities. (Gitagan 16:5.)
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hari hari! biphale janama gonäinu
manuñya-janama päiyä,
rädhä-krsna nä bhajiyä,
jäniyä shuniyä biña
khäinu
O Lord Hari, I have wasted my life.
Although I have taken this rare
human birth, like a miser, I have
not served Rädhä and Krshna, and
thus I have knowingly drunk poison.(Narottama
däsa Thäkura)
golokera prema-dhana, hari-näma-sankirtana,
rati nä janmilo kene täya
samsära-bishänaledibä-nishi
hiyä jvale
judäite nä koinu upäya
The treasure of divine love in Goloka
Vrindävana has descended as the
congregational chanting of Lord Hari's
holy names. Why did my
attraction for that chanting never
come about? Day and night my
heart burns in the fire of the poison
of worldliness, and I have
not accepted the means for relieving
it.(Narottama däsa Thäkura)
brajendra-nandana yei, shachi-suta
hoilo sei,
balaräma hoilo nitäi
dina-hina yata chilo, hari-näme
uddhärilo,
tära shäkshi jagäi
mädhäi
Lord Krsna, the son of the King of
Vraja, became the son of Shachi,
and Balaräma became Nitäi.
The holy name delivered all those souls
who were lowly and wretched. The two
sinners Jagäi and Mädhäi are
evidence of this.(Narottama däsa
Thäkura)
hä hä prabhu nanda-suta,
vrishabhänu-sutä-yuta,
karunä karoho ei-bäro
narottama-däsa kaya, nä
theliho rängä päya,
tomä bine ke äche ämära
O Lord Krsna, son of Nanda, accompanied
by the daughter of Vrishabhänu,
please be merciful to me now. Narottama
däsa says, "O Lord, please do
not push me away from Your reddish
lotus feet, for who is my beloved
except for You?"(Narottama däsa
Thäkura)
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Here's some amazing links that we've
put together to help those of
you that either travel, or need access
to shastra on your system but
may not have all the books available
- now you have:
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/DDB.htm
Heaps of downloadable FREE devotional
books.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
kaivalyam narakäyate tri-dasha-pür
äkäsha-pushpäyate
durdäntendriya-käla-sarpa-patali
protkhäta-damsträyate
vishvam pürna-sukhäyate
vidhi-mahendrädish cha kitäyate
yat käruëya-katäksha-vaibhavavatäm
tam gauram eva stumah
"For a devotee, the pleasure of merging
into the existence of Brahman
is considered hellish. Similarly,
he considers promotion to heavenly
planets just another kind of phantasmagoria.
The yogis meditate for
sense control, but for the devotee
the senses appear like serpents
with broken teeth. The whole material
world appears joyful for a
devotee, and even great personalities
like Lord Brahmä and Lord Indra
are considered no better than insects.
Such is the position of a
devotee who has received but a small
glance of the mercy of Shri
Caitanya Mahäprabhu. Unto this
most magnanimous personality I
offer my respectful obeisances."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Krishna Books:
http://www.krishnabooks.org
-------------------------------------------------------------------
dante nidhäya trinakam padayor
nipatya
kritvä ca käku-shatam etad
aham bravimi
he sädhavah sakalam eva vihäya
düräd
chaitanya-chandra-charane kurutänurägam
Taking a straw between my teeth and
falling at your feet a hundred
times, I humbly submit, "Oh great
personality, please give up all
mundane knowledge that you have learned
and just submit yourself at
the lotus feet of Lord Caitanya Mahäprabhu."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Dictionaries 4U - The Most Amazing
Compilation of On-line Dictionaries:
http://www.yourdictionary.com/
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Govardhan Hill Publishing Web Page:
http://www.nerdc.ufl.edu/~ghi
-------------------------------------------------------------------
http://indiadivine.com/
The Stories From the Ramayana
http://indiadivine.com/stories.htm
An introduction to the philosophy of
Vedik culture:
http://indiadivine.com/courses.htm
Translation of some of the most important
Vaishnava literatures:
http://indiadivine.com/texts.htm
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Alien Identities Web Page:
http://alienidentities.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------
LISTEN TO REAL AUDIO TALKS
Devotees addressing grass roots matters
to help our Krishna conscious
development...
Features:
Sriyuts HH Prahladhananda Swami, HH
Bhanu Swami, HH Devamrita Swami
Downloadable from 4 FREE:
http://hkaudio.artshost.com/
-------------------------------------------------------------------
For all your shastric / scriptural
needs:
http://www.vedabase.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------
näri-stanä bhäram näbhi-desham
dristvä mä gä moha-veshyäm
etäm mämsa väsa ädi
vikarä
manasi vichintäya bhäram
bhäram
näri-a woman's; stanä-breasts;
bhäram-heavy; näbhi-desham-waist;
dristvä-seeing; mä-gä-don't
go; moha-illusion, attraction; veshyäm-by
such a woman; etäm-these; mämsa-flesh,
fat; väsah-outward dress;
ädi-etc.; vikarä-transformation;
manasi-in your mind; vichintäya-you
should consider; bhäram-seriously;
bhäram-very seriously.
Translation:
"Having seen the supposed beauty of
a woman's heavy breasts and her
thin waist, do not become swayed,
agitated and illusioned, for these
attractive features are simply transformations
of fat, flesh and various
other ingredients of this world. You
should consider this in your mind
again and again and remain fixed and
focused in the Absolute."
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achintyäh khalu ye bhävä
na täms tarkena yojayet
prakritibhyah param yach cha
tad achintyasya lakshanam
"Anything transcendental to material
nature is called inconceivable,
whereas logical arguments are all
mundane. Since mundane arguments
cannot touch transcendental subject
matters, one should not try to
understand transcendental subjects
through mundane arguments."
(Mahabharata quoted in Chaitanya Charitamrita. Ädi 17:308)
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krishir bhü-vächakah shabdo
nash cha nirvriti-vächakah
tayor aikyam param brahma
krishna ity abhidhiyate
The word "krish" is the attractive
feature of the Lord's existence,
and "na" means spiritual pleasure.
When the verb "krish" is added to
the affix "na," it becomes Krishna,
which indicates the Absolute Truth.
(Mahabharata quoted in Chaitanya Charitamrita. Madhya 9:30)
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|)<>(|)<>(
At Grass Roots: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(
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wWWWw _
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jgs^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
If you have any news, events, functions,
deals, etc., that you would
like to share with members then please
do so by sending what you have
to us, we can pass them on in the
next newsletter.
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Announcement:
.-"''-. _
.' `( \
@/ ')
,--,__,-"
/ /
\ / / _/
__| ,
|/ /
.~ `\ / \ , | /
.~ `\ ` / _/
_/
.~ `\ ~~`__/
/
~
`--'/
/ / /
/ /' /
Sriman Caksu prabhu and his good wife
Srimati Kunti mataji
have just been blessed with a "Ray
of Vishnu", a baby boy.
Both mother and baby are happy and healthy.
Congrats' & e-cards can be sent
to these prabhus in Kerikeri
mailto:<ch.peneff@xtra.co.nz>
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Sangam TV - Auckland.
Indian Dance & Beauty Contest
We request you to come in large numbers
with your relatives, freinds,
colleagues on June 10 at sharp 6 pm
in Auckland Girls Grammar School
Auditorium and enjoy the evening.
This will be your support as well
towards Sangam TV.
Tickets @ $ 15.00 each are available
at Sonam Videos 570 4626 & 625 4600,
Prime Videos 277 6221, Copy Plus 815
7170 and many Indian outlets or
ring us at 815 2210.
Beauty Contest :- Sangam TV contest
has evolved from being just a
pageant to launching the face of the
Indian women on the world’s
glamorous map. Indian girls seem to
have a reputation of being
beauties with brains, personifying
the adage " beauty with a purpose".
The beauty contest is open to girls
who are between the ages 13 - 24
and are unmarried. The unique part
of the contest is that THERE IS NO
"swim suit round" for the contestants.
The emphasis is more on talents
than on physical aspects. Instead
of the swim suit round, the contestants
are to show their talents like singing,
dancing or any other facets of
their personality which they may think
is unique. There are three rounds
of three minutes each - the Indian
dress round, question - answer round
and the performance round.
Dance Contest :- Indian Dance sequence
is known for rhythmic movements
i.e. Taal, Bhav, Raag and the dance
is not complete without any of
these aspects. Indian Dances are full
of exquisite hands and facial
movements embodying the rich history
and culture of the Indian people.
The dance competition is open to girls
and boys between the ages
13 - 24 in groups. The group should
have minimum of four participants
and a maximum of eight. The emphasis
will be on semi - classical / folk
/ remix style of Indian dancing.
The maximum time limit for each item
would be five minutes and each group
is eligible to perform one item only.
The last date for participants to enter
in the above contest is
Saturday, 27 May, 2000 upto 6 p.m.
The decision of Judges shall be FINAL.
Thanking you
Rakesh Dhody
Sangam TV mailto:<parik@ihug.co.nz>
Phone: 09- 815 2210
Fax: 09- 815 2270
Mobile: 025 204 1918
P.O. Box 27 - 402, Mt. Roskill, Auckland,
New Zealand.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Check out this page:
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/NMAC-8page.htm
Sri Nrsimhadev Martial Arts - Carterton, Wairarapa.
The Martial Arts Dojo that is centred
around spiritual understanding
and development.
mailto:<denrob@voyager.co.nz>
------------------------------------------------------------------
After some nice discussion with some
of our younger devotees we have
made a forum to inspire and assist
the youth and young adults in their
development of Krishna consciousness,
as well as their devotee
relationships.
Please check out the page at:
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/YoungFOLK.htm
If you have any suggestions, things to add you are welcome to do so.
Now we have some pages for you to check
out... and interact with.
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|)<>(|)<>(
Prasadam Recipies:
)<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(
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Palak chawal - Rice with spinach:
Shrila Prabhupäda's program of
chanting, dancing, philosophy, and
feasting has had wide success in Kenya.
The Kenyans, like the
Bengalis, eat plenty of vegetable
greens and large amounts of rice,
so whenever the Kenyan devotees combine
greens and rice in palak chawal,
the feast is a great success.
Preparation and cooking time: 30 -
40 min
2 cups (350 g) basmati or other good-quality
long-grained rice
11/2 teaspoon salt
31/2 cups (825 ml) water
1/2 lb (225 g) fresh spinach
1 tablespoon ghee
1 teaspoon ground coriander
2 bay leaves
3/4 cup (100 g) unsalted peanuts,
lightly fried (optional)
1 pinch ground black pepper
Wash the rice thoroughly, soak it for
15 minutes, and let it drain.
Put the water and the salt in a pot
over high heat. Remove the tough
stalks from the spinach, wash the
leaves in several changes of water,
and drain. Then wilt the leaves by
plunging them into boiling water.
Put them in a colander and rinse under
cold water. Drain and chop
them into small pieces.
In a medium-sized saucepan, heat the
ghee and fry the ground
coriander and bay leaves. Add the
rice and stir-fry until the
grains are coated with ghee and become
translucent. Add the chopped
spinach, stir for a minute, then pour
the salted water into the
saucepan and bring to a boil.
Cover the pan and cook gently on low
heat for 20 minutes. If you use
peanuts, put them in without stirring,
5 minutes before the end of
cooking. When the rice is completely
cooked, add the pepper. Mix
the ingredients with a fork before
serving.
The Hare Krsna Book of Vegetarian Cooking
- Adiraj dasa
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Gujarati urad dal - Urad dal with
spiced yogurt:
Urad dal is so rich in protein that
the Äyur-veda recommends eating
it not more than four times a week,
otherwise the body becomes
overloaded with protein. The addition
of seasoned yogurt gives this
soup a creamy consistency. It goes
well with a simple steamed rice
dish and an Indian bread.
Preparation and cooking time: 1 hr
11/2 cups (375 ml) plain yogurt
1 tablespoon brown sugar
7 cups (1.6 l) water
1 cup (200 g) urad dal
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
2 bay leaves
21/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon ghee or vegetable oil
1 teaspoon black mustard seeds
2 dried chillies, crushed
1 teaspoon fennel seeds
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
Mix the yogurt and the brown sugar
in 1 cup (250 ml) of water.
Set aside. Clean, wash, and drain
the dal. In a heavy saucepan bring
the remaining water to a boil. To
this water, add the urad dal, bring
to a boil again and cook uncovered
for 10 minutes. Remove any froth
that accumulates on the surface. Add
the turmeric, bay leaves, and
salt, stir once, cover the pot, and
cook for 20 minutes over medium-low
heat until the dal grains can be mashed
between two fingers. Now,
remove the bay leaves, and mix the
dal in a blender until it is
smooth. Then let simmer.
Put the ghee or vegetable oil in a
small saucepan over medium heat
and fry the black mustard seeds. Cover
the pan for a moment to
prevent the mustard seeds from jumping
out. When the mustard seeds
have finished popping, toss in the
crushed chillies, the fennel
seeds, and the grated ginger. Stir-fry
for a moment. Finally, put
this masala into the yogurt and pour
the yogurt into the dal.
Stir to blend well. Continue cooking
for 5 minutes before serving.
The Hare Krsna Book of Vegetarian Cooking - Adiraj dasa
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Channa aur simla mirch - Fried
chick-peas and peppers:
This recipe is traditionally served
with wedges of firm tomato and
hot bhaturas. If you like, you can
serve it with any of the Vedic
breads described in the next chapter,
or as a breakfast with yogurt
and ginger tea.
Soaking time: overnight
Preparation and cooking time: 1 hr
11/2 cups (250 g) chick-peas
11/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoon ghee or vegetable oil
2 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 or 2 fresh chillies, minced
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon asafoetida
1 green bell pepper, cut into 1/2
inch (1.5 cm) pieces
1 medium-sized tomato, washed and
chopped (optional)
2 medium-sized tomatoes, washed and
cut into 8 wedges each
Soak the chick-peas overnight in water
double their volume. Drain
them and put them into a pot. Add
enough water to cover them by
about 3 inches (7.5 cm) and add 1/2
teaspoon of salt. Boil for 10
minutes. Remove any froth that has
collected on the top, cover,
and gently simmer over medium-low
heat for 40 minutes - 1 hour,
until the chick-peas are tender. Then
drain off the water.
(Save 1/2 cup [125 ml] of this water
if you plan to make a sauce).
Over medium heat, heat the ghee or
vegetable oil in a frying pan
and fry the cumin seeds. Then add
the minced chili and ginger.
Add the turmeric and asafoetida and
then follow immediately with
the cut pepper. Turn the pieces of
pepper with a spoon. When
they appear soft and browned, add
the drained chick-peas and
stir for 3 minutes. Then add the remaining
salt.
If you would like a sauce, add the
water you saved, or 1 chopped
tomato, and cook 5 minutes more.
The Hare Krsna Book of Vegetarian Cooking - Adiraj dasa
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Chapati - Whole-wheat flatbread:
Chapatis, the daily bread of millions
of Indians, are cooked first
on a dry hotplate, then held directly
over a flame, where they
swell with steam to the point of bursting.
Preparation time: 15 min
Standing time: 30 min - 2 hrs
Rolling and cooking time: 2 - 3 min
for each chapati
21/2 cups (250 g) atta or sifted whole-wheat
flour - chapathi flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 or 3 tablespoon melted butter
2/3 cup (150 ml) lukewarm water
Combine the flour and the salt in a
large salad bowl. Slowly add
water, gathering the flour together
as you do so, until a soft,
moist dough is formed. Transfer the
dough to a work surface and
knead it for 6 - 8 minutes until it
is smooth and firm. Sprinkle
the ball of dough with water, cover
it with a damp cloth, and set
it aside for half an hour to two hours.
When the dough is ready, place a tava
or a heavy cast-iron griddle
over medium heat. With moistened hands,
knead the dough again,
then shape into 15 equal-sized patties.
Dip them into flour and
roll them out thin and even on a floured
board. Make them as round
as possible and about 51/2 inches
(14 cm) across. Keep some plain
whole-wheat flour on the side to dust
the chapatis as you roll them.
Knock the excess flour off a chapati
with a few slaps between the
hands and place it on the pre-heated
griddle. (You can cook several
at a time if the size of your griddle
allows). When small white
blisters appear on the surface of
the chapati and the edges begin to
turn up, turn it over with a pair
of flat tongs and cook the other
side until the surface bulges with
air pockets. Lift the chapati and
toast both sides over a direct flame
for a few seconds until it puffs
up like a ball. A finished chapati
should be cooked completely (no
wet spots) and should be freckled
with brown spots on both sides.
Press the air out and brush one surface
with melted butter.
You can also cook a chapati on electric
heat. Let it stay on the
griddle. Turn it over as many times
as it takes for both sides to
cook, then gently press the top of
the chapati all over with a soft
cloth, and the chapati will swell.
Serve the chapatis soon after
cooking or wrap them in a cloth to
keep them warm and soft.
The Hare Krsna Book of Vegetarian Cooking - Adiraj dasa
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Alu phul gobhi paneer sabji - Fried
cauliflower, potatoes, and fresh cheese:
This is a simple, quick-cooking dish.
The cauliflower and potatoes
are deep-fried, then simmered in a
liquid masala until done. Serve
this vegetable dish with an Indian
bread and a smooth dal or
vegetable soup.
Preparation and cooking time: 30 min
2 tablespoon ghee or vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon black mustard seeds
2 fresh chillies, seeded and minced
1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger
2 bay leaves
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
21/2 cups (600 ml) water
4 potatoes, peeled and cubed
12 oz (350 g) pressed paneer, cubed
1 medium-sized cauliflower, washed,
trimmed, and cut into flowerets
2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon garam masala
2 tablespoon chopped fresh coriander
or parsley leaves
Heat the ghee or oil in a medium-sized
saucepan over medium heat.
Toss in the mustard seeds and cover
the pot so they don't jump
all over the stove. When they finish
popping, add the chillies,
ginger, and bay leaves. Stir for 30
seconds. Now stir in the
powdered spices-except for the garam
masala-and immediately add
the water. Bring to a rapid boil,
then lower the heat and simmer gently.
While this liquid masala is simmering,
deep-fry separately the
potato cubes and the cheese cubes
until they are golden-brown,
then drain them. Deep-fry the cauliflower
flowerets until they
are lightly browned and partially
cooked. Now put the cauliflower
in the liquid masala, cover, and cook
over low heat. After 5 minutes,
lift the cover, drop in the fried
potatoes and cheese cubes, stir
once, and cook for 2 or 3 minutes
more, until all the ingredients
are heated thoroughly.
Season with the salt and garam masala
and sprinkle in the fresh
coriander or parsley leaves. Mix and
serve hot.
The Hare Krsna Book of Vegetarian Cooking - Adiraj dasa
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Tamatar paneer malai - Scrambled cheese
with fried tomatoes:
Serve tamatar paneer malai with puris
as part of a meal or as
a light meal in itself. For a variation,
you can reduce the
paneer by half and add 2 cups (200
g) of steamed peas or
golden-fried cauliflower flowerets
at the same time as the
paneer. A karhai or wok is ideal for
cooking this recipe.
Preparation and cooking time: 40 min
1 lb. (450 g) paneer
6 medium-sized tomatoes
3 tablespoon ghee or vegetable oil
2 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 teaspoon turmeric
2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
2/3 cup (150 ml) sour cream
2 tablespoon chopped coriander or
parsley leaves
Keep the paneer in the cheesecloth
and rinse it under cold water
for a moment, then squeeze out some
of the water.
While the paneer is still moist, break
it into roughly 1-inch cubes
(2.5 cm) and set aside. Now wash the
tomatoes and cut each of them
into 8 wedges. Heat the ghee or oil
in a karhai, wok, or medium-sized
saucepan. Add the cumin seeds, and
as soon as they darken (about 30
seconds) add the tomato wedges. Turn
the tomato wedges gently until
they are lightly browned. Put in the
chunks of paneer. Season with
the turmeric, salt, and pepper, and
stir-fry gently for 2 or 3 minutes,
taking care not to break the pieces
of paneer and tomato.
Finally, fold in the cream and toss
all the ingredients.
Serve hot, garnished with chopped coriander or parsley leaves.
The Hare Krsna Book of Vegetarian Cooking - Adiraj dasa
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Phansi kadhi - Green beans in chick-pea
flour sauce:
Although this recipe is traditionally
prepared with green
beans, most other vegetables can be
cooked the same way.
Preparation and cooking time: 30 -
40 min
2 lbs (900 g) fresh green beans
41/4 cups (1 l) water
3/4 cup (75 g) sifted chickpea flour
1 cup (250 ml) plain yogurt
1 tablespoon ghee or vegetable oil
1 teaspoon black mustard seeds
1/2 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon asafoetida
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon sugar
2 teaspoon lemon juice
21/2 teaspoon salt
1 lemon, washed and quartered
2 tomatoes, cut into 8 wedges each
Wash and trim the beans, then snap
them in half. Cover the bottom
of a medium-sized saucepan with 1
inch (2.5 cm) of water, insert a
metal steam-rack, then add the beans.
Bring the water to a boil
and cover the pan to trap the steam.
Cook for about 10 minutes,
until the beans darken and become
tender. Drain off the stock and
save it.
Boil the water and add the chick-pea
flour while stirring well,
using a whisk if available. Then add
the yogurt and stock and
bring to a second boil, stirring always.
Boil rapidly for about
15 minutes.
Heat the ghee or oil in a small saucepan
and fry the mustard seeds.
When they sputter, add the grated
ginger, cayenne pepper, and
asafoetida. Turn with a spoon for
a few seconds, then pour the ghee
and seasonings into the kadhi sauce.
Add to the sauce the turmeric,
sugar, lemon juice, and salt. Mix
well. Reduce the heat and simmer
for 5 minutes, stirring more frequently
as the mixture thickens.
Then fold in the beans and heat to
serving temperature, stirring
constantly. Garnish with wedges of
lemon and tomato.
The Hare Krsna Book of Vegetarian Cooking
- Adiraj dasa
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Dokla - Steamed dal and yogurt:
Soaking time: Dal, at least 4 hrs
Resting time: Batter, at least 6 hrs
Preparation and cooking time: 25 min
2 cups (350 g) channa dal, cleaned
2/3 cup (150 ml) yogurt
1 cup (250 ml) water
3 or 4 fresh chillies
2 tablespoon grated fresh ginger
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
11/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon lemon juice
3 tablespoon melted ghee
11/2 teaspoon baking powder
2 tablespoon ghee
1 tablespoon black mustard seeds
2 tablespoon sesame seeds
1 pinch asafoetida
5 tablespoon grated fresh coconut
4 tablespoon chopped fresh coriander
leaves
Wash the dal and soak it for at least
4 hours. Drain it. Put it in
a blender or food processor with the
yogurt and water. Blend until
smooth and let it stand at least 6
hours in a warm place, covered.
Find a pot into which you can fit
an 8-inch (20 cm) round cakepan.
You will need some sort of ring to
keep the cakepan off the bottom.
Its center should have an opening
wide enough to allow steam to
reach the bottom of the pan. Put about
2 inches (5 cm) of water in
the pot and bring to a boil.
Grind the fresh chillies into a paste
with a little water and add
to the batter. Then add the ginger,
turmeric, salt, lemon juice,
melted ghee, and baking powder. Mix
well. Grease the cakepan with
a little butter or ghee and pour in
the batter. Cover the pot
tightly and steam the dokla for 20
- 25 minutes or until springy
to the touch.
To prepare a topping, heat the 2 tablespoons
of ghee in a small
pan and fry the mustard seeds, the
sesame seeds, and a pinch of
asafoetida. When the mustard seeds
finish popping, spread these
seasonings over the top of the dokla
and then sprinkle over it
the grated coconut and coriander leaves.
When cool, cut into 3-inch (7.5 cm)
rectangles or diamonds and
carefully remove them from the pan.
Serve with coconut chutney.
The Hare Krsna Book of Vegetarian Cooking
- Adiraj dasa
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Narial chutni - Coconut chutney:
Take care to buy coconuts that are
fresh. There should be no
cracks in the shells, and they should
be heavy with milk. The
coconut milk should smell pleasant
and taste sweet. If it smells
oily and tastes sour, the coconut
will be sour. Coconut chutney
goes well with dosas, and can be used
as a dip for savories such
as doklas, pakoras, and gajar vadas.
Preparation time: 20 min
11/2 cups (200 g) fresh coconut or
11/2 cups (100 g) desiccated coconut
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh
coriander leaves
2 or 3 fresh chillies, seeded and
minced
3 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
Break the coconut and save the coconut
milk. Detach the pulp from
the shell and pare off the brown skin.
Cut the pulp into small pieces
and blend them in an electric blender
with all the other ingredients.
Add enough coconut milk or water to
make the mixture smooth. If you
don't have a blender, grate the coconut
and use a mortar and pestle
or a grinding stone to make a smooth
mixture. As an alternative to
coconut milk or water, you can use
11/4 cups (300 ml) yogurt, which
gives a creamier texture.
The Hare Krsna Book of Vegetarian Cooking
- Adiraj dasa
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Khir - Sweet rice:
Shrila Prabhupäda taught us that
a feast is not a true feast without
sweet rice. So the head cooks of our
centers often stay up late
Saturday night preparing sweet rice
for the Sunday feast. Although
there are many different ways to prepare
sweet rice, this recipe is
the traditional one, and a great favorite.
Preparation and cooking time: 1 hr
15 min
Chilling time: 2 hrs
1/3 cup (50 g) short or medium-grained
white rice
2 bay leaves
1/2 cup (100 g) sugar
10 cups (2.4 l) whole milk
2 tablespoon sliced almonds, lightly
toasted (optional)
1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom seeds
Wash the rice and set it aside to drain.
In a tall pot that can hold
at least twice the volume of the milk,
bring the milk to a boil; then
adjust the heat so the milk is always
rising and frothing, but not
bubbling over. To minimize the cooking
time, let the milk boil
vigorously, uncovered, for the first
15 minutes, while you stir it
rhythmically with a wooden spatula
to prevent the thick milk on the
bottom of the pot from scorching.
Drop the rice into the milk along
with the bay leaves. Continue
stirring. Keep over medium-high heat
and stir very carefully for
another 20 minutes until the rice
breaks up and rolls with the milk.
By now the milk should be reduced
to two thirds of its original
volume. Stir in the sugar, almonds,
and ground cardamom seeds.
Cook for 5 more minutes and remove
from the heat. Sweet rice should
be only slightly thick when removed
from the heat, because it will
thicken when refrigerated. Chill well
before serving-the colder the
sweet rice, the better it tastes.
For other classic flavors, replace
the ground cardamom seeds with a
teaspoon of rose-water and a few pinches
of saffron powder, or season
with bay leaves only, and add a tiny
pinch of natural camphor at
the end of cooking.
The Hare Krsna Book of Vegetarian Cooking
- Adiraj dasa
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR
- LET ME KNOW...!
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
These and OVER 100 other EGGLESS CAKE
recipies can be found
on our Main index and on many other
pages.
http://student.anu.edu.au/Clubs/Hare_Krishna_Vegetarian_Society/cookbook.html
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
...and always with the Magic ingredient
- Offer it to Krishna........
...with L'n D (love and devotion)
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Check out heaps of information on Vegetarianism,
Prasadam-ism,
download books, Vegetarian Recipie
programs, and more.
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/Veges-Beyond5page.htm
http://members.xoom.com/hknetworks/vege-links1.htm
NEW - an amazing vegetarian souce guide:
http://www.vegsource.org/
------------------------------------------------------------------
A Beginners Guide to Vegetarianism:
http://people.qualcomm.com/sriharid/info/vegetarianism/veg.html
------------------------------------------------------------------
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)<>(|)<>( Krishna Conscious
- Vedikly acceptable Jokes: )<>(|)<
¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°
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Revealing the result of a negative
mental attitude:
Jake walks in to Joe's Barber Shop
for his regular haircut.
As Joe snips away, he asks "So whats
new Jake?"
Jake proceeds to explain he's taking
a vacation to Rome. "ROME!"
Joe exclaims, "Why would you want
to go there? It's a crowded
dirty city full of Italians! You'd
be crazy to go to Rome! So how ya
gonna git there?"
"We're flying TWA," the man replies.
"TWA!" yells Joe. "They're
a terrible airline. Their planes are
old, their flight attendants are
ugly and they're always late! So where
you staying in Rome?" Jake
says "We'll be at the downtown International
Marriot."
"That DUMP?!" says Joe. "That's the
worst hotel in the city!
The rooms are small, the service is
surly and slow and they're
overpriced! So whatcha doing when
you get there?" Jake says
"We're going to go see the Vatican
and hope to see the Pope."
"HA! That's rich!" laughs Joe. "You
and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look the
size of an ant. Boy, good luck on
THIS trip. You're going to need it!"
A month later, the man
comes in for his regular haircut.
Joe says, "Well, how did that trip
to Rome turn out? Betcha TWA gave
you the worst flight of your life!"
"No, quite the opposite" explained
Jake. "Not only were we on
time in one of their brand new planes,
but it was full and they
bumped us up to first class. The food
and wine were wonderful,
and I had a beautiful and cultured
28 year old flight attendant
who waited on me hand and foot!"
"Hmmm," Joe says, "Well, I bet the
hotel was just like I described."
"No, quite the opposite! They'd just
finished a $25 million
remodelling operation and it's the
finest hotel in Rome, now. They
were overbooked, so they apologised
and gave us the Presidential
suite for no extra charge!"
"Well," Joe mumbles, "I KNOW you didn't
get to see the Pope!"
"Actually, we were quite lucky. As
we toured the Vatican, a
Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder
and explained the Pope
likes to personally meet some of the
visitors, and if I'd be so
kind as to step into this private
room and wait, the Pope would
personally greet me. Sure enough,
after 5 minutes the Pope
walked through the door and shook
my hand. I knelt down as he
spoke a few words to me."
Impressed, Joe asks, "Tell me, please!
What'd he say?"
"Oh, not much really. Just 'Where'd
you get that ghastly haircut?' "
------------------------------------------------------------------
Ramani prabhu walks into a shop and
says, "Shopkeeper, give me two
cold drinks. One for me and one for
my best buddy here."
The shop-keeper says, "You want both
drinks now or do you want
me to wait until your buddy arrives
to pour his?"
Ramani prabhu says, "Oh, I want them
both now. I've got my best
buddy in my pocket here." With that
he pulls out a little 3-
inch man from his pocket.
The shop-keeper says, "Wow! And you
mean to say he can drink
that much?" "Oh, sure. He can drink
it all, and then some more,"
the man retorted. So the shope-keeper
poured the two lasis. Sure
enough, the little guy drinks it all
up.
"That's amazing," says the shopkeeper.
"What else can he do?
Can he walk?" Rodney flicks a Rs.2
coin down to the end of the
counter and says, "Hey Chotta bhai,
go get that coin!" The little
guy runs down to the end of the counter,
picks up the coin, and
runs back down and gives it to Ramani.
The shop-keeper is totally amazed
by this display. "That's
truely amazing," he says, "...what
else can he do? Does he talk?"
Ramani looks up at the shop-keeper
with a look of surprise in
his eye and squawks, "Talk? Sure he
talks. Hey Chotta bhai, tell
him about that time we were in down
in Africa on safari and you
insulted that witch doctor!"
------------------------------------------------------------------
There were two young brothers in gurukula,
8 and 10 years old,
who were exceedingly mischievous.
Whatever went wrong in the
neighbourhood, it turned out they
had a hand in it. Their
parents were at their wits' end trying
to control them.
Hearing about a pujari nearby who worked
with delinquent boys,
the mother suggested to her husband
that she would ask the
pujari to talk with the boys and he
agreed.
The mother went to the pujari and made
her request. He agreed,
but said he wanted to see the younger
boy first and alone. So
the mother sent the younger to the
pujari.
The pujari sat the boy down across
his HUGE, impressive desk.
For about five minutes they just sat
and stared at each other.
Finally, the pujari pointed his forefinger
at the boy and asked,
"Young man, where is God?"
The boy looked under the desk, in the
corners of the room, all
around, then said nothing.
Again, louder, the pujari pointed at
the boy and asked, "Where
is God?" Again, the boy looked all
around but said nothing.
A third time, in a louder, firmer voice,
the pujari leaned far
across the desk and put his forefinger
almost to the boy's
nose, and asked, "Young man, I ask
you again, where is God?"
The boy panicked and ran all the way
home. Finding his older
brother, he dragged him upstairs to
their room and into the
closet, where they usually plotted
their mischief. He finally
said, "We're in Bi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-g
trouble."
The older boy asked, "What do you mean, 'BIG trouble?'"
His brother replied, "I'm tellin' ya',
we're in BIG trouble.
God is missing and they think we did
it !!!"
------------------------------------------------------------------
One day a group of scientists got
together and decided that
humans had come a long way and no
longer needed God. So they
picked one scientist to go and tell
God so.
The scientist walked up to God and
said, "God, we've decided that
we no longer need you; We're to the
point that we can clone people
and do many miraculous things, so
why don't You just go on and get
lost."
God listened very patiently and kindly
to the man. After the scientist
was done talking, God said, "Very
well, how about this? Let's say
we have a man-making contest."
To which the scientist replied, "Okay, great!"
"But," God added, "we're going to do
this just like I did back in the
old days with Adam."
The scientist said, "Sure, no problem"
and bent down and grabbed
himself a handful of dirt.
God looked at him and said, "No, no,
no. You go get your own dirt."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Once upon a time, long, long ago there
were two unique
lions in the jungles of Africa. Both,
it seems, had human
-like qualities that made them claim
territory, daring the
other to cross over the line. Strange
as it seems, the
boundary between their turf was a
well traveled trail
through the jungle.
All day every day, both lions lay in
the brush staring
across the trail at their compatriot,
daring him to cross
into their territory.
The local natives knew of this animal
feud, but all this
was unbeknown to African Jacko, a
well-known and must
publicized guide who did not speak
Lionese and was
unfamiliar with the territory.
While he was leading a safari through
the jungle, walking
all day and cutting vines with their
machetes, all this
constant hacking brush had them worn
to a frazzle. After
seeing two or three of his safari
drop from exhaustion,
African Jacko decided to stop on the
trail between these
two lions and camp for the night.
After sitting up camp, eating, and
getting his safari
settled African Jacko sat on
stump and began reading.
While he was busily engaged in the
printed page, the two
lions, simultaneously, pounced on
African Jacko and ate
him on the spot.
When the 6 o'clock news heard of the
tragedy, they
reported, "African Jacko killed this
evening. The motive
is unclear, but it is reported he
was reading between the
lions."
MORAL:
Always seek help from shastra, sadhu,
and guru - and never, I mean
NEVER speculate walk an unknown path
- or Read between the Lions.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=- Did you
ever wonder? =-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do psychics have to ask you for
your name?
------------------------------------------------------------------
How can there be self-help "groups"?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: So what is the difference between
a Harley motor-bike and a
Hoover vacuum cleaner?
A: The location of the dirt bag
------------------------------------------------------------------
My horoscope read, "You're going places
and you can't be stopped."
Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket
hadn't read it.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Warning: Dates in Calendar are
closer than they appear.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote To Remember
"I care not for a man's religion whose
dog and cat are not the better
for it."
-- Abraham Lincoln
------------------------------------------------------------------
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>(|)<>( The ways of this material
world - strange but true )<>(|)<
¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°
------------------------------------------------------------------
Click HERE for a laugh:
http://209.50.251.164/keester/keester3.wav
------------------------------------------------------------------
True Story!??! Ahem, well...aha you
know...
...Every year, just before Easter,
the Chief Rabbi in Rome
goes to the Vatican and presents an
ancient, and by now
quite tattered envelope to the Pope.
The Pope inspects
the envelope, shakes his head, and
hands it back to the
Chief Rabbi, who then departs. This
has been going on
for nearly two thousand years.
One year recently, it happened that
there was a new Pope
and a new Chief Rabbi. When the Chief
Rabbi presented the
ancient envelope to the Pope, as he
had been instructed
to do by his predecessor, the Pope
looked it over and
handed it back as he had been told
to, in turn, by his
predecessor...but then the Pope said,
"This is an unusual
ritual. I don't understand it. What
is in this envelope?"
"Damned if I know," answered the Chief
Rabbi. "I'm new
here myself. But, hey, let's open
it and find out."
"Good idea," said the Pope. So together,
they slowly
and carefully opened the envelope.
And do you know what they found?
The caterer's bill for the Last Supper!
------------------------------------------------------------------
Little Johnny and his family lived
in the country, and as a result
seldom had guests. He was eager to
help his mother after his father
appeared with two dinner guests from
the office.
When the dinner was nearly over, Little
Johnny went to the kitchen and
proudly carried in the first piece
of apple pie, giving it to his father
who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny
came in with a second piece of pie
and gave it to his father, who again
gave it to a guest.
This was too much for Little Johnny,
who said, "It's no use, Dad. The
pieces are all the same size."
MORAL: Atmavan manyate jagat - as I
see so all the world sees - everyone
thinks of others according to his
own position and perception.
Prabhupäda: No. Because he is
imperfect, he does not know what is truth.
The same experience: because he cannot
hear, other who is hearing is
answering and he cannot hear him,
so he thinks that he is dumb, deaf.
Ätmavan manyate jagat. The difficulty
is that everyone thinks others
on his own standard. If a fool, he
thinks others fool. So that is not
the fact. We have to take experience
from a person whose experience
nobody can surpass. Just like Krishna
says, vedäham samatitäni
vartamänäni bhavishyäni
[Bg. 7.26]. He says that “I know past, present,
future, everything.” So who knows
past, present, future, everything?
Therefore we have to take experience
from Krishna.(A.C. Bhaktivedanta
Swami Prabhupada. Discussion with
Syamasundara dasa - William James -
JAMES.SYA)
------------------------------------------------------------------
This newsletter has been proofread
carefully to see if you any words out.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the surgeon who
operated upon a patient who had a
hopelessly gangrenous leg?
The surgeon unfortunately amputated the patient's *healthy* leg, instead.
Naturally, the patient sued. Years of appeals came and went.
Finally, the state's Supreme Court
suggested the patient simply drop the
suit. The judge told him he
"didn't have a leg to stand on."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Appreciating Mothers Everywhere:
One day a man came home from work to
find total mayhem at home.
The kids were outside, still in their
pyjamas playing in the mud and muck.
There were empty food boxes and wrappers
all around. As he proceeded
into the house, he found an even bigger
mess. Dishes on the counter,
dog food walked into the carpet, a
broken glass under the table,
and sand by the back door. The family
room was strewn with toys
and clothing, garbage and all kinds
of crap. A lamp had been knocked
over, the dog was caught up in some
wires and unable to move, and
the bird cage had was lying opened
on the floor with the bird missing.
He headed up the stairs, stepping over
toys, to look for his wife.
He was becoming worried that she might
be ill, or that something had
happened to her. He found her in the
bedroom, still in bed with her
pyjamas on, reading a book. She looked
up at him, smiled, and asked
how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked
"What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You
know how everyday when you
come home from work, and you ask me
what I did today?"
"Yes", he replied... "Well," she replied,
"Today I didn't do it!"
------------------------------------------------------------------
The chameleon has eyes independent
of each other and can simultaneously
look in 2 directions.
The opossum shrimp has eyes in its tail.
The fingerprints of koala bears are
virtually indistinguishable from those
of humans, so much so that they could
be confused at a crime scene.
Makes one wonder what "crimes" koalas
might commit that a human would be
blamed for...!!!? =>:-0
------------------------------------------------------------------
A linguistics professor was lecturing
to his class one day. "In English,"
he said, "A double negative forms
a positive. In some languages, though,
such as Russian, a double negative
is still a negative. However, there
is no language wherein a double positive
can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped
up, "Yeah, right."
------------------------------------------------------------------
Singh's achievements
--------------------
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were always
boasting of
their parents' achievements to each
other:
Santa Singh: Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta Singh: Yes, I have.
Santa Singh: Well, my father dug it.
Banta Singh: That's nothing, have you
ever heard of the
Dead Sea?
Santa Singh: Yes, I have.
Banta Singh: Well, my father killed
it.
------------------------------------------------------------------
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)<>(|)<>(
A Grateful Word to our Supporters: )<>(|)<>(|)<
¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`
------------------------------------------------------------------
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