Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages
Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm
Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages
Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm
To read more about Hasya visit our pages
So Lord Caitanya is known as the one:
- hasya-kari & hasya-yuk ==> who laughs & jokes
- hasya-priya ==> who is fond of joking
- hasya-nagara ==> who is the hero of those expert in speaking joking words
- hasya-grami & hasya-kara ==> is expert at joking
- pushpa-hasa ==> whose smile & laugh are as charminng as flowers.
Lord Gauranga's smiling & laughing qualities ki...
ys Radhe Govinda dasa
P.S. One of the qualities of Srimati Radharani is that she is very expert
in the art of joking.
"Any gentleman should be a little humorous."
- Srila Prabhupada (Letter to Kurusrestha 75-09-26)(26th Sept 1976)
SOME FACTS ABOUT HUMOUR
"With devotion steeped in love and affection, the yogi should meditate within the core of his heart upon the laughter of Lord Vishnu. The laughter of Vishnu is so captivating that it can be easily meditated upon. When the Supreme Lord is laughing, one can see His small teeth, which resemble jasmine buds rendered rosy by the splendor of His lips. Once devoting his mind to this, the yogi no longer desires to see anything else." ~ S.P., Srimad-Bhagavatam 3-23-33 "Kapila's Instructions on Devotional Service"
SCIENCE - After surgery but prior to the administration of pain medication, patients were told one-liner jokes. Those patients who were exposed to the humor experienced less pain in comparison to the other surgery patients who didn't get a dose of humor as part of their therapy. ~ Summary from study published in ' Journal of Holistic Nursing'
Medical experts (Dr. Derk & Dr. Wiilliiamsburg) reveal that a powerful laugh will relax tensed muscles, brings more oxygen into the system and more quickly, lowers blood pressure, and offers a free, overall health benefits on many levels! And its free!. (If the FDA could manufacture a medicine like this, they'd charge a bundle.)
Loma Linda University Cali study by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan showed that physiological responses that were produced from belly laughter, were the opposite of what is seen in classical stress, thereby offering yet more evidence that laughing produces healthy or positive emotions.
Results of research by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan (Loma Linda U of Ca) indicated that after a good belly laugh, there is a general increase in activity within the immune system, such as: increased number and activity level of natural killer cells that attack viral infected cells and some types of cancer and tumor cells.
If it tickles your funny bone then chances are it will reduce the stress in your life and leave your immune system to do its part. This premise has been supported by both the field of psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences. A recent publication with research data appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Skin welt sizes were compared in patients suffering from severe allergies after one group watched a video featuring Charlie Chaplin and the other group listened to a documentary on weather. Needless to say, the Japanese study confirmed a reduction in skin welt size in the group watching the famed comedian. [FROM CNN.COM] CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, February 13, 2001:
MORE SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS ABOUT LAUGHTER
* Laughter stimulates physical healing.
* Laughter enhances our individual creativity.
* Laughter is rejuvenating and regenerating.
* Laughter is good for relationships (that includes friendships).
* Laughter opens the heart.
* Laughter gives us a glimpse of freedom from the mind. (In other words,
helpful for getting off the mental platform!)
~~ Articles by N. Lehrman in Archives of Internal Medicine, April 26,1993; Lee Berk, Dr. P.H. in Loma Linda University School of Medicine News, March 11,1999; N.Silver in American Health, November 1986; J. McCormick in Lancet, August 1994.
"We are less likely to succcummb to feelings of depression and helplessness if we are able to laugh at what is troubling us. Humor gives us a sense of perspective on our problems. Laughter provides an opportunity for the release of those uncomfortable emotions which, if held inside, may create biochemical changes that are harmful to the body." Patty Wooten, author of 'Pulmonary Rehabilitation: Guidelines to Success'
SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS - Controlled studies have given evidence that a good belly laugh has lowered serum cortisol levels, increased amounts of activated T lymphocytes, increased number and activity of natural killer cells, and increased the number of T cells that have helper/ suppresser receptors. Or to sum it up: laughter off-sets the immunosuppressive effects of stress and is therefore significantly improves the health of the immune system. - Discoveries by Dr. Berk and Dr. Tan, Loma Linda University.
Evidence (from EEG) revealed that when a joke is just about to be told, the initial anticipation results in the brains cortex's left hemisphere starting the function of analyzing of word processing. Next, most brain activity moved to the frontal lobe (the center of emotions). After that, the right hemisphere's synthesis mix with the left's processing to look for and locate the pattern or to be able to "get" the joke. Very quickly following, though just prior to the persons had quite enough time to laugh, brain waves increase and spread to the occipital lobe which is the sensory processing areas of the brain. There was an increase in fluctuations of delta waves which reached a crescendo of activity and crested as the brain 'got' the joke followed by the recipient beginning of laughter. So here you have 'scientific' knowledge how laughter works, integrating the brain and getting it to all function together, thanks to Dr. Derk & Dr. Williamsburg. Now, stop analyzing and start laughing! :-) You have facts that it's actually beneficial for a variety of health issues, so don't minimize its importance and start giving yourself permission to take out time each day to laugh. Like a vitamin or even a meal, it's a necessity!
Courtesy of mother Pritaa ACBSP's site http://www.geocities.com/priitaa108/humor.htm
Laugh Yoga with Bir Krishna Goswami
Laugh Yoga during a picnic in Helsinki
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2932828682381191751
Laugh Yoga with Master Laugh Therapist BK Goswami - Laugh Yoga at
It's Best In Split Croatia - 1 hr 41 min 49 sec - Aug 30, 2007
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5224249030279265816
This is a MUST READ =>;-Q
http://www.digitalsawdust.com
Four Wives parable:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/4wives.pps
The sound of one hand clapping !!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8muy8XHN52I
sent in by Jayasri mataji - Auckland
Click on this link to see how really short life is.
http://www.sastradana.com/video/lifeisshort.wmv
sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP
Angry mouths flip out at a Press Conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym9hMtpk9d4
12 days of Xmas Indian style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE
.....if I were a terrorist:
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies1972.html
Complex Karmas video clip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP59tQf_njc
Once upon a time in old Navadvipa, two great scholars (Pundits), came together for a debate. Both were seated on a dais just by the side of the Ganga. A large crowd of common folk gathered to see the dispute. One Pundit had been travelling the length and breadth of India on a Dig Vijaya (Conquering of the Directions Tour), while the other was the local Pundit come to defend himself, and the honor of the town as a place of learning.
Both Pundits were very learned in Sanskrit. When all the towns people
were seated and quiet, the Dig Vijaya Pundit began to speak to the local
Pundit.
Unfortunately because the Pundits spoke in Sanskrit to each other,
no one else really knew what was going on.
The Dig Vijaya Pundit said to the local Pundit (in Sanskrit):
"Sir, you may have the honor of asking me the first question."
Everyone knows that the man who makes the first move has a slight advantage. The local Pundit was insulted by this.
The local Pundit replied (in Sanskrit):
"No, thank you! Sir, you may certainly ask the first question, as you
are a guest in this town."
The Dig Vijaya Pundit was infuriated, he realized that his attempt to slight the local Pundit had failed and that he was now being insulted by this younger man.
The Dig Vijaya Pundit then countered (in Sanskrit):
"Ah, Sir, your offer is very kind, but since you are junior to me in
age, you certainly should ask the first question."
The local Pundit was again insulted and decided that he should do something about the pride of the Dig Vijaya Pundit.
The local Pundit replied (in Sanskrit):
"Very well, my first question is this. How does one say in the Bengali
language the following sentence: 'I do not know!'?"
The Dig Vijaya Pundit thought "This man thinks that I am such a fool that I cannot even answer this simple question!", and being full of rage he loudly shouted the answer in Bengali. "Ami jane na!" (I don't know!)
Immediately the local Pundit spoke to the townsfolk, who until this time had not understood a word. He said (in Bengali): Just see, he (pointing to the Dig Vijaya Pundit) has just admitted defeat. Throw him in the Ganga!
So all the people of Navadvipa grabbed the puffed up Dig Vijaya Pundit and threw him into the Ganga. The local Pundit was declared the winner of the debate.
Moral: Pride cometh before a fall or The wise men don't know how it feels to be "thick as a brick".
sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP
Idiotic 'Millionaire' Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever
NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'
It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got
stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the
show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'
After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans
assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an
extremely easy $100 question. The question was: 'Which of the following
is the largest?'
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?
Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic
as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily
know the answer.
'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her
level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've
heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they
would be.'
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines,
the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was
bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy
question, Evans still remained unsure.
'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans.
'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs.
Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office
assistant.
'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting
the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question.
Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon.
15 seconds hun.'
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded
to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you?
Duh, that can't be it.'
To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her
friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'
'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.
So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.
Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98%
in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans
then made the dumbest choice of her life.
'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said
the too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got
to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant
or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting
with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the
answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
sent in by Gabriela Slezakova - Auck
Caution... They Walk Among Us!
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
***They walk amongst us!***
*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
***They walk among us!!***
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.'
***They Walk Among Us!!***
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.
***They Walk Among Us!!!!***
I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the half-kilogram.
***They walk among us! ***
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot...
***They Walk Among Us!!!!!***
My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....
***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!***
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! ***
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went
to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!***
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!
Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!
sent in by Gabriela Slezakova - Auck
The winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting lucky
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm
in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions
to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings
for common words.
And the winners are:
1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one
has gained.
3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only
a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been
run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men
sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP
An English professor wrote the words...
"woman without her man is a savage"
on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is a savage."
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
News Item: The Swedish home furnishing firm, IKEA, purchased bankrupt General Motors today. IKEA CEO, Anders Dalvig, said that GM will show a profit once they accept IKEA's business model. Please see attached.
sent in by Shyamasundara dasa ACBSP
Insurance: Paying for catastrophes on the installment plan.
It's so simple to be wise.
Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it
Disarmament: An agreement between nations to scuttle all weapons that are obsolete.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
Teacher: "Andrew, what is a cannibal?"
Andrew: "Don't know."
Teacher: "Well, if you ate your father and mother, what would you be?"
Andrew: "An orphan, miss."
On a balmy day in the South Pacific, a navy ship spied smoke coming
from one of three huts on an island they thought was deserted. Upon arriving
at the shore they were met by a "survivor." He said, "I'm so glad you're
here! I've been alone on this island for more than five years!"
The captain of the ship replied, "But we saw THREE huts."
The survivor said, "Oh. We'll, I live in one, and go to church in another."
"What about the THIRD hut?" asked the captain.
"That's where I USED to go to church."
What do you call a Far Eastern monk who sells reincarnations?
A used karma dealer.
Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death! -- Mark Twain
Did
you ever wonder? 
And non-devotees suggest that devotee names are unusual
- try these Celebrity baby names:
* Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin)
* Banjo (Rachel Griffiths)
* Bronx Mowgli (Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz)
* Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson)
* Kal-El (Nicolas Cage)
* Maddox (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt)
* Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette)
* Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)
* Satchel (Mia Farrow and Woody Allen)
* Suri (Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise)
* Zuma Nesta Rock (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale)
Twinkle twinkle little star Indian style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DssSpNqbc64
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmdAF4ihedM
sent in by Krsnendu prabhu BCS - Auck
Alzheimer's positive advantage: You meet new friends every day.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"
You know, I wouldn't touch the metric system with a 3.048m pole!
see its not all one !
Two blondes stopped in their car to let a funeral pass by.
"Who died?" the first blonde asked.
"I think it was the person in the casket." replied the second blonde.
A man wasn't feeling well so he went to his doctor for a complete checkup.
After a long wait for the results, the doctor finally came back out.
"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor said.
"You're dying, and you don't have much time left."
"Oh no! I can't believe it!" says the man. "How long do I have?"
"Ten," the doctor says sadly.
"Ten?" the man asks. "What do you mean by that? Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"
"Nine........Eight........"
Important Questions
What is the speed of dark?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What's another word for synonym?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
The ways of this material world - strange but true
Socialism
An economics professor at Texas Tech said he had never failed many students
at one time except on the occasion when he failed an entire class.
That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would
be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said ok, we will have an experiment in this class
on socialism.
All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would be outstanding. After the first test the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. But, as the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too; so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around the average was an F.
The scores never increased as bickering, blame, and name calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. All failed, to their great surprise. The professor then told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great; but when all the reward is taken away, no one will work to succeed.
Nothing could be any simpler than that....
A fellow decided to decorate his bedroom. He wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper he would need but he knew that the Irishman who lived next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
"Murphy," he asked, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"
"Ten" said Murphy.
So the fellow bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job. It looked wonderful, but he had 2 rolls of wallpaper left over.
"Murphy," he said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 left over!"
"Dat's funny," said Murphy. "So did I."
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig.
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a White sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the Animal body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, Stuck his finger in the butt of the dead pig, withdrew it and stuck his Finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his Students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead pig And sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The Second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle Finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention
Moral of the story: Life's Tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid.
I bet you I could stop gambling.
VERY HILARIOUS BATHROOM PRANK!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqqOwFTpc7o&feature=related
sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP
When bhaktine Dimple joined our temple in Mumbai, the temple president
asked her to fill in an application form.
At the bottom of the application where it says SIGN HERE, she put Sagittarius.
My doctor says I have kleptomania, but its not only when it gets bad, that I take something for it.
ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
A passion that goeth before a sprawl.
When Zeal sought Gratitude for his reward
He went away exclaiming: "O my Lord!"
"What do you want?" the Lord asked, bending down.
"An ointment for my cracked and bleeding crown."
Jum Coople
Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/
I want to warn people from Nigeria. if you get any emails from
Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it.
.......more optical illusions and paradigm twists here:
ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though from this view of the matter there was once a considerable dissent among the learned, some holding that the posture of the body was immaterial. These were called Horizontalists, their opponents, Verticalists. The Horizontalist heresy was finally extinguished by Xanobus, the philosopher-king of Abara, a zealous Verticalist. Entering an assembly of philosophers who were debating the matter, he cast a severed human head at the feet of his opponents and asked them to determine its zenith, explaining that its body was hanging by the heels outside. Observing that it was the head of their leader, the Horizontalists hastened to profess themselves converted to whatever opinion the Crown might be pleased to hold, and Horizontalism took its place among fides defuncti.
Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/
TEACHER: Gordan, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
Gordan: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
Gordan: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Mukunda:, give me a sentence starting with
'I.'
MUKUNDA: I is..
TEACHER: No, Mukunda:..... Always say, 'I am.'
MUKUNDA: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: Now, Suneel, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before
eating?
Suneel: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom
is a good cook.
whatzup don't you recognize me???
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Abdul, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
ABDUL: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
Carole was planning her upcoming wedding and asked to wear her mother's
wedding gown.
When she tried it on, it was a perfect fit on her petite frame.
Suddenly, her mother's eyes filled with tears. Putting an arm around
her, Carole lovingly said, "Don't cry, Mom.
Remember, you aren't losing a daughter, you're gaining a son."
"Oh, forget about that!" her mother sobbed. "I used to fit into that gown!"
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
How the Beijing Olympic logo was formed
* Exercise routine
New exercise routine if you're over 40.
You might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some.
Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!
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That's enough for the first day.
Great job!
Have a piece of cake - reward yourself.
Take some rest.
Please Try our little Colour Test - Right Brain vs Left Brain:
http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf
I can't believe you actually clicked on that
