Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves  =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages

Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm

        So Lord Caitanya is known as the one:

 - hasya-kari  &  hasya-yuk  ==> who laughs & jokes

 - hasya-priya  ==> who is fond of joking

 - hasya-nagara ==> who is the hero of those expert in speaking joking words

 - hasya-grami  &  hasya-kara  ==> is expert at joking

 - pushpa-hasa  ==> whose smile & laugh are as charminng as flowers.

Lord Gauranga's smiling & laughing qualities ki...

                                                ys Radhe Govinda dasa

P.S. One of the qualities of Srimati Radharani is that she is very expert in the art of joking.

"Any gentleman should be a little humorous."

- Srila Prabhupada (Letter to Kurusrestha 75-09-26)(26th Sept 1976)

SOME FACTS ABOUT HUMOUR

"With devotion steeped in love and affection, the yogi should meditate within the core of his heart upon the laughter of Lord Vishnu. The laughter of Vishnu is so captivating that it can be easily meditated upon. When the Supreme Lord is laughing, one can see His small teeth, which resemble jasmine buds rendered rosy by the splendor of His lips. Once devoting his mind to this, the yogi no longer desires to see anything else." ~ S.P., Srimad-Bhagavatam 3-23-33 "Kapila's Instructions on Devotional Service"

SCIENCE - After surgery but prior to the administration of pain medication, patients were told one-liner jokes. Those patients who were exposed to the humor experienced less pain in comparison to the other surgery patients who didn't get a dose of humor as part of their therapy. ~ Summary from study published in  ' Journal of Holistic Nursing'

Medical experts (Dr. Derk & Dr. Wiilliiamsburg) reveal that a powerful laugh will relax tensed muscles, brings more oxygen into the system and more quickly, lowers blood pressure, and offers a free, overall health benefits on many levels! And its free!. (If the FDA could manufacture a medicine like this, they'd charge a bundle.)

Loma Linda University Cali study by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan showed that physiological responses that were produced from belly laughter, were the opposite of what is seen in classical stress, thereby offering yet more evidence that laughing produces healthy or positive emotions.

Results of research by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan (Loma Linda U of Ca) indicated that after a good belly laugh, there is a general increase in activity within the immune system, such as: increased number and activity level of natural killer cells that attack viral infected cells and some types of cancer and tumor cells.

If it tickles your funny bone then chances are it will reduce the stress in your life and leave your immune system to do its part. This premise has been supported by both the field of psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences. A recent publication with research data appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Skin welt sizes were compared in patients suffering from severe allergies after one group watched a video featuring Charlie Chaplin and the other group listened to a documentary on weather. Needless to say, the Japanese study confirmed a reduction in skin welt size in the group watching the famed comedian. [FROM CNN.COM]  CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, February 13, 2001:

MORE SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS ABOUT LAUGHTER

* Laughter stimulates physical healing.
* Laughter enhances our individual creativity.
* Laughter is rejuvenating and regenerating.
* Laughter is good for relationships (that includes friendships).
* Laughter opens the heart.
* Laughter gives us a glimpse of freedom from the mind. (In other words, helpful for getting off the mental platform!)

~~ Articles by N. Lehrman in Archives of Internal Medicine, April 26,1993; Lee Berk, Dr. P.H. in Loma Linda University School of Medicine News, March 11,1999; N.Silver in American Health, November 1986; J. McCormick in Lancet, August 1994.

"We are less likely to succcummb to feelings of depression and helplessness if we are able to laugh at what is troubling us. Humor gives us a sense of perspective on our problems. Laughter provides an opportunity for the release of those uncomfortable emotions which, if held inside, may create biochemical changes that are harmful to the body." Patty Wooten, author of 'Pulmonary Rehabilitation: Guidelines to Success'

SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS - Controlled studies have given evidence that a good belly laugh has lowered serum cortisol levels, increased amounts of activated T lymphocytes, increased number and activity of natural killer cells, and increased the number of T cells that have helper/ suppresser receptors. Or to sum it up: laughter off-sets the immunosuppressive effects of stress and is therefore significantly improves the health of the immune system. - Discoveries by Dr. Berk and Dr. Tan, Loma Linda University.

Evidence (from EEG) revealed that when a joke is just about to be told, the initial anticipation results in  the brains cortex's left hemisphere starting the function of analyzing of word processing. Next, most brain activity moved to the frontal lobe (the center of emotions). After that, the right hemisphere's synthesis mix with the left's processing to look for and locate the pattern or to be able to "get" the joke. Very quickly following, though just prior to the persons had quite enough time to laugh, brain waves increase and spread to   the occipital lobe which is the sensory processing areas of the brain. There was an increase in fluctuations of delta waves which reached a crescendo of activity and crested as the brain 'got' the joke followed by the recipient beginning of laughter. So here you have 'scientific' knowledge how laughter works, integrating the brain and getting it to all function together, thanks to Dr. Derk & Dr. Williamsburg. Now, stop analyzing and start laughing! :-) You have facts that it's actually beneficial for a variety of health issues, so don't minimize its importance and start giving yourself permission to take out time each day to laugh.  Like a vitamin or even a meal, it's a necessity!

Courtesy of mother Pritaa ACBSP's site http://www.geocities.com/priitaa108/humor.htm

Laugh Yoga with Bir Krishna Goswami

Laugh Yoga during a picnic in Helsinki
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2932828682381191751

Laugh Yoga with Master Laugh Therapist BK Goswami - Laugh Yoga at It's Best In Split Croatia - 1 hr 41 min 49 sec - Aug 30, 2007
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5224249030279265816

This is a MUST READ =>;-Q
http://www.digitalsawdust.com

Four Wives parable:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/4wives.pps

The sound of one hand clapping !!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8muy8XHN52I

sent in by Jayasri mataji - Auckland

 Click on this link to see how really short life is.
http://www.sastradana.com/video/lifeisshort.wmv

sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP

Angry mouths flip out at a Press Conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym9hMtpk9d4

12 days of Xmas Indian style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE

.....if I were a terrorist:
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies1972.html

Complex Karmas video clip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP59tQf_njc

CAUSE OF ARTHRITIS...

A drunk man who smelled like beer and vomit sat down on a subway in Glasgow next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of whisky was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to th! e pries t and asked,
'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,'
Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'
 

Bangalored

An interesting fact:

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be Baptist.

They visited kennel after kennel and finally found an owner who assured them that he had just the dog they wanted.
The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife. 'Fetch the Bible,' he commanded.

The dog bounded over to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible and brought it to the owner.

'Now find Psalm 21,' he commanded.
The dog dropped the Bible on the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and, finding the correct passage, pointed with his paw.

The preacher and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog.
The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him to locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed.

One man asked the preacher: 'Can he do regular dog tricks, too?'

'I haven't tried yet,' the preacher replied.

He pointed his finger at the dog, 'HEEL!' the preacher commanded.

The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began howling.

The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Goodness! He's Pentecostal!"

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Ironically, experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.



The road to truth is long and lined the entire way with annoying bastards.



Larry died.  His "will" provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral.  As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sarah turned to her oldest and dearest friend.  "Well, I'm sure Larry would be pleased," she said.

"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Sarah. "$40,000."

"No!"  Jody exclaimed.  "I mean, it was very nice, but $40,000?"

Sarah answered, "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to church.  The catering and snacks were another $500.  The rest went for the memorial stone."

Jody computed quickly.  "$32,500 for a memorial stone?  My God, how big is it?"

"Four and a half carats."



An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists the Top End On their way to Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australian Aborigine to track man or beast over land, through the air or beneath the sea. The Americans were incredulous.

Then later in the day, the tour rounded a bend on the highway and discovered, lying in the middle of the road, an Aborigine man. He had one ear pressed to the white line whilst his left leg was held high in the air. The tour stopped and the guide and the tourists gathered around the prostrate Aborigine.

"Jacky," said the tour guide, "what are you tracking and what are you listening for?"

The aborigine replied, "Down the road about 25 miles is a 1971 Valiant Ute. It's red. The left front tire is bald. The front end is out of whack and it has dents in every panel. There are 9 black fellas in the back, all drinking warm beer. There are 3 kangaroos on the roof rack and 6 dogs on the front seat."

The American tourists moved forward, astounded by this precise and detailed knowledge.

"Wow, man! How do you know all that?" asked one American.

The Aborigine replied, "I fell out of the darn thing about half an hour ago."

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascal like behavior that was going on.

So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.

When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.

God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned he went to God and said, Yes, it's true.The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good,
because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?

Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either..

Every nation is fond of the category of political jokes, but in the Soviet
Union telling political jokes was in a sense an extreme sport: according to
Article 58 (RSFSR Penal Code), "anti-Soviet propaganda" was a potentially capital offense.

    * A judge walks out of his chambers laughing his head off. A colleague
approaches him and asks why he is laughing. "I just heard the funniest joke
in the world!" "Well, go ahead, tell me!" says the other judge. "I can't - I
just gave a guy ten years for it!"

sent in by Shyamasundara dasa ACBSP

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse.

He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?"

The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."

Not paying much attention, the man says, "Sure, ok."

So he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God" and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop.

"Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!"

Finally he remembers, "Amen!!"

The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God."

One morning a man came into the church on crutches.  He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches.
 
An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen.
 
"Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said.  "Tell me where is this man now?"
 
"Flat on his face over by the holy water," said the boy.

  Did you ever wonder? 

Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day
Posted by Madhava Gosh under Jokes
http://walkingthefenceline.wordpress.com/2009/02/28/florida-court-sets-atheist-holy-day/

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians,Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, “Case dismissed!”

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, “Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, “But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant.”

The lawyer said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance for holiday for atheists.”

The judge said, “The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, ‘The fool says in his heart, there is no God.’ Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.”

"Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech."

-- Groucho Marx

The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing. Its called the stock market.

The Good Life
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McvCJley78A

actually this is far from being a joke, the joke is that some are attempting to exploit the simple life the Lord gave us.

There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail.

The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked the man, "Where do you work?"

The man said, "Here and there."

The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?"

The man said, "This and that."

The judge then said, "Take him away."

The man said, "Wait, judge, when will I get out?"

The judge said to the man, "Sooner or later..."

My dad was in the dentist's chair having a root canal done.
Every so often the dentist would stick a large toothpick-like object into the tooth's canal to see how far he had drilled.

Each time, this thing caused my father great pain, but whenever he complained the dentist replied, "Oh, that doesn't hurt, it's just a measuring device."

This happened a couple more times. Again my father complained and again he got the same response.

Finally my father sat up in the chair, took all the stuff out of his mouth and looked straight at the dentist.

"Excuse me for a moment," dad said, "I have to go out to my truck, get my tape measure and whack you in the head with it.
It shouldn't hurt, though. It's just a measuring device."

After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy,
the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother.

"It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age," the neighbor said.

"Sexuality?!" the mother yelled. "He took out her appendix!"

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

' Mommy ,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.  'It's not polite.'

'OK', the little girl says, 'How much do you weigh?'

'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'

'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!' The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

'My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.

'Well,' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.  It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 32.'

The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?

'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'

The mother is past surprised and shocked now. 'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'

'And,' the little girl says triumphantly, 'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'

'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'

'Because you got an F in sex.'

As a mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he would behave, she said, "Why do I always have to pay you to be good?
Why can't you be good for nothing like your dad?"

This picture shows that blowing up a catholic priest is not an act of terrorism

Brahmacharins - Are you wearing your golfing socks?

The pair with a hole in one.

......did we get a smile yet???

Coming back to the temple on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.

The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you remember:

Then you remember you've been listening kirtans on your iPod.

I'm VERY loyal in a relationship.  ALL relationships.
When I'm with my mother, I DON'T look at other moms.
"Wow.  I wonder what HER macaroni & cheese tastes like."

-- GARRY SHANDLING

A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter anxious to get his story could not get near the car.

Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

The ways of this material world - strange but true
 

"Take a pencil and paper", the teacher said,"....and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire' "

Everyone but Banta Singh, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.

"What's the matter?", The teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"

"I'm waiting for my secretary,..."

The Obamas' first night in the White House

"What a day!"

"Phew, yeah...what a day!"

"I'm exhausted. Could you get the light, Barack?"

"Yes I can! I will not only get the light, I will shine the light for all Americans and show them the way through the darkness! It is a light that arises from the hopes and dreams of the old and the young, the black and white and yellow and red and brown, the gay and the straight, the rich and the poor! It is a light on whose rays the promise of hope...and opportunity...and achievement...all soar to a distant, brighter future! But it will take all of us, working together in a spirit of shared sacrifice and commitment, to make that light a beacon of progress. And I say to you tonight: This is our moment! This is our bedtime! This..."

"Oh for god's sake never mind, I'll do it myself..."

[Click!]

Dear Mr Branson...
http://travel.msn.co.nz/article.aspx?id=733927
Route Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008...

Friday, January 23, 2009
Is this the funniest passenger complaint letter ever? It was written to Richard Branson, the boss of Virgin Airways, and is quickly becoming an internet hit.
Here it is in full (spelling mistakes included):

Read the full article at the URL its hilarious

sent in by Prema Kumar - Wellington NZ.

Nature has many laws that hold fast and true...

For example, a baby ape will always grow up to be an ape; likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon.

A baby pig will mature into a full-grown pig.

A baby jackass will always become a jackass.

Yet oddly enough, many women say a young man may grow-up to be any one of these.

Ekendra prabhu's Funny pages:
http://www.gopala.org/taxonomy/term/7

Chanakya's wisdom

Chanakya Pandit (c. 350-283 BC) was adviser and prime minister to the first Maurya Emperor Chandragupta
(c. 340-293 BC), and architect of his rise to power.

A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first."

Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous.

Before you start any work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, what the results might be and will I be successful.
Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.

Once you start working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.

As soon as fear approaches near, attack and destroy it.

The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman.

The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction.

Whores don't live in company of poor men, citizens never support a weak company and birds don't build nests on a tree that doesn't bear fruit.

A man is great by deeds, not by birth.

Treat your kid like a darling the first five years. For the next five years, scold them when necessary.
By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like your friends. Your grownup children are your best friends.

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person.

Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats beauty and youth.

There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interest. This is a bitter truth.

My  godsister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. Her ten-year-old  daughter answered the phone 'Hello,' she whispered.

'Haribol, honey. How's your  mother?' I asked.

'She's sleeping,' she answered, again in a whisper.

'Did  she go to the doctor?' I asked.

'Yes. She got some medicine,' she said softly

'Well, don't wake her up. Just tell her I called. What are you doing, by the way?'

Again in a soft whisper, she answered, 'Practicing on my mridanga drum.'

Not the yuga dharma

YOKE, n. An implement, madam, to whose Latin name, jugum, we owe one of the most illuminating words in our language ­ a word that defines the matrimonial situation with precision, point and poignancy. A thousand apologies for withholding it.

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/

What is the tallest building in Moscow?

Answer: Lubyanka Prison (KGB headquarters), from its basement you can see Siberia.

Shyamasundara dasa ACBSP

.......more optical illusions and paradigm twists here:

YOUTH, n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following and seven cities compete for the honor of endowing a living Homer.

Youth is the true Saturnian Reign, the Golden Age on earth again, when figs are grown on thistles, and pigs betailed with whistles and, wearing silken bristles, live ever in clover, and cows fly over, delivering milk at every door, and Justice never is heard to snore, and every assassin is made a ghost and, howling, is cast into Baltimost!
­Polydore Smith

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/

It's not who you know, it's whom you know.

Then there was the time when Sandeep happened to sit by a journalist on a train. After some conversation it came out she traveled a lot and always traveled alone.

"Aren't you worried something can happen to you?" asked the journalist. "And your friends certainly must feel some concern for you."

"No, I've never been afraid. But I should call someone soon to let them know I am still alive.
By the way, all I need are four little words when I want to be left alone."

"And those are...?"

"Are you saved, child?"

only in India

Once my wife and I had to take a flight that had 4 other stops before arriving at the Dallas-Forth Worth Airport. At the first stop, a little white truck drove up to the plane and my wife watched it pull up to the wing. She asked, "What's that truck doing?"

I explained that some airlines don't completely fuel up a plane for various reasons & we were taking on more fuel.
This process was repeated at the next three stops, and my wife watched the plane being fueled each time.

At the last stop, I said, "Ya know, in spite of all these delays, we're making pretty good time."

My wife pointed out the window and said, "I don't know. That lil' white truck seems to be keeping up with us."

IN THE NEWS
_____________
(you may well laugh BUT this is how the confused residents of the Kali yuga are actualy acting)
 

A new reality TV show in Britain will feature dogs having facelifts and a rabbit having a tummy tuck.

Pet Plastic Surgery will show how far owners go to make their pets feel good, reports say.

The five story documentary features a neutered male dog being fitted with false testicles to raise his self-esteem.

Three women are talking about meal leftovers.

"My husband is a TV producer and when I serve leftovers, he calls them reruns."

"You think you have it bad! Mine's a quality control engineer. He calls them rejects!"

"That's nothing! My husband is a mortician. He calls them remains."

Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.

One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Minnesota were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snowplows can get through."

So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so The snowplows can get through."

The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today.  You must park...."

Then the electric power went out.  The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied,
"Darling, Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."

Mother: "How's your history paper coming?"

Son:  "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research and it's been very helpful.

Mother:  "Really?"

Son:  "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell them!"

On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist.
The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston.  Then she inquired what I did for a living.

I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice.

Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me."

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

My friend's mother got mad at my friend'd father the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation.
When she returned home she informed him that she had purchased ten new dresses.

"Ten!" he hollered, "What could any woman want with ten new dresses??"

My friend's mother calmly replied, "Ten new pairs of shoes."

The Hebrew teacher says to her class, "We have recently been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times.
But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

"Aces," says Sarah.

You know how people use asterisks to emphasize a word in an e-mail message? I *hate* that.

(the Moody Muse)

Please Try our little Colour Test - Right Brain vs Left Brain:
http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf

I can't believe you actually clicked on that