Krishna Conscious - Vedikly acceptable Jokes


Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves  =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages

Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm

'Hasya' or humour, created using either a situation or a behaviour-mode, easily reveals in dialogues and gestures during a play but a difficult theme for a sculpture or painting. There are, however, some excellent examples of 'Hasya' in pictoral art also and these days in cartoons. Besides caricatures and 'bhangeris'-type characters, myths, legends or stories are also used for depicting humour. For example Lord Shiva is camping with Parvati under a tree in the forest. As Shiva is adorned with serpents, a serpent, drapes across the otherwise naked form of Shiva like a loincloth, is covering his private parts. Hearing of him being there under the tree, Lord Vishnu, along with Garuda, His faithful vehicle, comes to pay him homage. The snake, as soon as it sees the bird carrier Garuda, his natural enemy, abandons Shiva leaving him all exposed and naked and flees into an anthill. It is humour by situation. Deliberate tricks and or sarcasm, usually bringing forth the philosophy and culture, sometimes in Krishna-related themes, are also used for creating humour.

To read more about Hasya visit our pages

FOR YOUR INTEREST: This one is not a joke but I thought you might like to know. These are the names of Lord Caitanya taken from the book "Sri Caitanya Sahasra Nama Stotra", i.e. "A Thousand Names of Lord Caitanya" by Srila Kavi Karnapura (as translated by HG Kusakratha Prabhu from the Krsna Institute)...

        So Lord Caitanya is known as the one:

 - hasya-kari  &  hasya-yuk  ==> who laughs & jokes

 - hasya-priya  ==> who is fond of joking

 - hasya-nagara ==> who is the hero of those expert in speaking joking words

 - hasya-grami  &  hasya-kara  ==> is expert at joking

 - pushpa-hasa  ==> whose smile & laugh are as charminng as flowers.

Lord Gauranga's smiling & laughing qualities ki...

                                                ys Radhe Govinda dasa

P.S. One of the qualities of Srimati Radharani is that she is very expert in the art of joking.

"Any gentleman should be a little humorous."

- Srila Prabhupada (Letter to Kurusrestha 75-09-26)(26th Sept 1976)

SOME FACTS ABOUT HUMOUR

"With devotion steeped in love and affection, the yogi should meditate within the core of his heart upon the laughter of Lord Vishnu. The laughter of Vishnu is so captivating that it can be easily meditated upon. When the Supreme Lord is laughing, one can see His small teeth, which resemble jasmine buds rendered rosy by the splendor of His lips. Once devoting his mind to this, the yogi no longer desires to see anything else." ~ S.P., Srimad-Bhagavatam 3-23-33 "Kapila's Instructions on Devotional Service"

SCIENCE - After surgery but prior to the administration of pain medication, patients were told one-liner jokes. Those patients who were exposed to the humor experienced less pain in comparison to the other surgery patients who didn't get a dose of humor as part of their therapy. ~ Summary from study published in  ' Journal of Holistic Nursing'

Medical experts (Dr. Derk & Dr. Wiilliiamsburg) reveal that a powerful laugh will relax tensed muscles, brings more oxygen into the system and more quickly, lowers blood pressure, and offers a free, overall health benefits on many levels! And its free!. (If the FDA could manufacture a medicine like this, they'd charge a bundle.)

Loma Linda University Cali study by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan showed that physiological responses that were produced from belly laughter, were the opposite of what is seen in classical stress, thereby offering yet more evidence that laughing produces healthy or positive emotions.

Results of research by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan (Loma Linda U of Ca) indicated that after a good belly laugh, there is a general increase in activity within the immune system, such as: increased number and activity level of natural killer cells that attack viral infected cells and some types of cancer and tumor cells.

If it tickles your funny bone then chances are it will reduce the stress in your life and leave your immune system to do its part. This premise has been supported by both the field of psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences. A recent publication with research data appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Skin welt sizes were compared in patients suffering from severe allergies after one group watched a video featuring Charlie Chaplin and the other group listened to a documentary on weather. Needless to say, the Japanese study confirmed a reduction in skin welt size in the group watching the famed comedian. [FROM CNN.COM]  CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, February 13, 2001:

MORE SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS ABOUT LAUGHTER

* Laughter stimulates physical healing.
* Laughter enhances our individual creativity.
* Laughter is rejuvenating and regenerating.
* Laughter is good for relationships (that includes friendships).
* Laughter opens the heart.
* Laughter gives us a glimpse of freedom from the mind. (In other words, helpful for getting off the mental platform!)

~~ Articles by N. Lehrman in Archives of Internal Medicine, April 26,1993; Lee Berk, Dr. P.H. in Loma Linda University School of Medicine News, March 11,1999; N.Silver in American Health, November 1986; J. McCormick in Lancet, August 1994.

"We are less likely to succcummb to feelings of depression and helplessness if we are able to laugh at what is troubling us. Humor gives us a sense of perspective on our problems. Laughter provides an opportunity for the release of those uncomfortable emotions which, if held inside, may create biochemical changes that are harmful to the body." Patty Wooten, author of 'Pulmonary Rehabilitation: Guidelines to Success'

SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS - Controlled studies have given evidence that a good belly laugh has lowered serum cortisol levels, increased amounts of activated T lymphocytes, increased number and activity of natural killer cells, and increased the number of T cells that have helper/ suppresser receptors. Or to sum it up: laughter off-sets the immunosuppressive effects of stress and is therefore significantly improves the health of the immune system. - Discoveries by Dr. Berk and Dr. Tan, Loma Linda University.

Evidence (from EEG) revealed that when a joke is just about to be told, the initial anticipation results in  the brains cortex's left hemisphere starting the function of analyzing of word processing. Next, most brain activity moved to the frontal lobe (the center of emotions). After that, the right hemisphere's synthesis mix with the left's processing to look for and locate the pattern or to be able to "get" the joke. Very quickly following, though just prior to the persons had quite enough time to laugh, brain waves increase and spread to   the occipital lobe which is the sensory processing areas of the brain. There was an increase in fluctuations of delta waves which reached a crescendo of activity and crested as the brain 'got' the joke followed by the recipient beginning of laughter. So here you have 'scientific' knowledge how laughter works, integrating the brain and getting it to all function together, thanks to Dr. Derk & Dr. Williamsburg. Now, stop analyzing and start laughing! :-) You have facts that it's actually beneficial for a variety of health issues, so don't minimize its importance and start giving yourself permission to take out time each day to laugh.  Like a vitamin or even a meal, it's a necessity!

Courtesy of mother Pritaa ACBSP's site http://www.geocities.com/priitaa108/humor.htm

Laugh Yoga with Bir Krishna Goswami

Laugh Yoga during a picnic in Helsinki
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2932828682381191751

Laugh Yoga with Master Laugh Therapist BK Goswami - Laugh Yoga at It's Best In Split Croatia - 1 hr 41 min 49 sec - Aug 30, 2007
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5224249030279265816


This is a MUST READ =>;-Q
http://www.digitalsawdust.com

Four Wives parable:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/4wives.pps

The sound of one hand clapping !!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8muy8XHN52I

sent in by Jayasri mataji - Auckland

 Click on this link to see how really short life is.
http://www.sastradana.com/video/lifeisshort.wmv

sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP

Angry mouths flip out at a Press Conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym9hMtpk9d4

12 days of Xmas Indian style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE


.....if I were a terrorist:
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies1972.html

Complex Karmas video clip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP59tQf_njc


A little girl asked her father: 'How did the human race appear?'

 The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.'

 
 Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered,

 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
 
 The confused girl returned to her father and said,

 'Dad how is it possible that you told me the human race was created
by God, and Mum said they developed from monkeys?'

 The father answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple.

 I told you about my side of the family, and your mother told you about hers.'

sent in by Shyamasundara dasa ACBSP

To fight with everyone can result in a shortage of pallbearers at your funeral.

sent in by Shyamasundara dasa ACBSP



A California cemetery is giving up grass in favor of artificial turf. It's a move owners will save in water and maintenance costs.

Artificial grass has several benefits besides saving money on water and maintenance costs.

"Now the cemetery will look good ALL the time," says Mac Hepburn, one of the owners.


While on trip in the wild jungles of Africa, Professor Smith  woke up one morning and felt something in the pocket of his  pajamas.
It had a head and a tail, but no legs. When Smith got  up he could feel it move inside of his pocket.

However, Smith  showed little concern and went about his morning activities. Why  wasn't he concerned?

Answer:
Yeah. It was only a coin.



 

The rather large lady showed up at the theater just before the performance started and handed the usher two tickets. "Where's the other party?" asked the usher.

"Well," said the lady, with a blush, "you can see one seat is rather uncomfortable so I bought two. But they're really both for me."

"Okay with me, lady," the usher replied, scratching his head. "But you're gonna have a tough time. Your seats are numbers fifty-one and sixty-eight."
 



 .

Judge: Did you or did you not see the gun being fired?

Witness: I did not see it being fired.  I only heard it.

Judge: Well, that's hearsay.  It's inadmissible as evidence.

As the witness left the stand and walked back to his seat, his back was turned to the judge, at which point he let out a humonguous fart
Immediately the judge recalled him to the bench and was about to hold him in contempt of court.

Witness: Did you actually see me fart?

Judge, No, but I heard you.

Witness: Isn't that the same kind of inadmissible evidence, Judge?
 

Body Statistics
 
 It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
 One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
 The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
 Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
 A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
 There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
 Women blink twice as often as men.
 The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
 Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
 If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

 Women reading this will be finished now.
 Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs.

sent in by Shyamasundara dasa ACBSP

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.


AN IRISH GHOST STORY

 This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds  like
an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
 
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road
hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm.
 
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he
could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly
come toward him and stop. John, desperate for shelter and without  thinking
about it, got into the car and closed the door... only to  realize there was
nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!

 The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a
curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
 Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the
window and turned the wheel. John, paralyzed with terror, watched as the
hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed  him.
 
Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road,  so,
gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and  out of
breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the  horrible
experience he had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when  everybody
realized he was crying and...wasn't drunk.
 
Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the  stormy
night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath.
 Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other...
 
'Look O'Malley, there's that idiot that got into the car while we were pushing it.'

sent in by Shyamasundara dasa ACBSP


Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

sent in by Shyamasundara dasa ACBSP




An Old Italian Mafia Don is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside.
"Grandson, I wanna you lissina to me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a coupla bambinos. Somma day you gonna coma home and maybe finda your wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then... pointa to your watch and say, ‘Times Up?'"

http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/predictably-irrational/200810/who-enjoys-humor-more-conservatives-or-liberals

sent in by Shyamasundara prabhu ACBSP


A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies' clothing store.
 
After 30 minutes and five outfits, the fellow's wife came out of the change room again.
 
He looked at her and  immediately said: "That looks good
"Honey," she replied, "this is what I was wearing when we came in."


  Did you ever wonder? 


 

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged,
but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.

"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"

"Do you mean that repulsive pink and blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked.

"That's the one!"

That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had!
But tell me...why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his 'seeing eye guide dog' bit me."
 



 

He doesn't realize it will come soon enough

Dr. Ravi Prasad was brought up on charges at the medical board. He had, it seemed, uttered the vilest profanity to his nurse.
 
He explained, "Let me tell you what happened.  My alarm didn't go off, so I woke up late. When I did wake up, I tried to turn on the light in the lamp on my nightstand. The bulb exploded and scared me for a minute, so I pulled the cord out of the wall and the lamp fell over and broke.

Then I was trying to make a little breakfast when a whole army of little Girl Scouts showed up and tried to sell me tons of cookies.  I had to buy five boxes to get rid of the kids.  By then my herbal tea was ice cold and my toast were burned.  I gulped down a glass of juice.  It turned out to be sour.
 
When I started to drive to the office, the car conked out.  The alternator was gone.  I didn't have my auto club card with me so I had to pay to have the car towed to a service station. I looked at my service book and discovered that the warranty ran out last week. I took a cab to the office, but around Main Street somebody sideswiped us and I hit my head on the door handle.
 
I finally made it into my office when my nurse said, "Doctor, a shipment of thermometers just came in, where do you want me to put them?"

So I told her, and she took offense........
 


I said I wanted DISK SPACE for my ipod

If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning?
The conductor.


'Transport thefts rock New Zealand
 
Desperate methods that KIWI’s are having to use to protect their transport.

sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu CHCH


My wife said, "Whatcha doin today?"
 
 I said, "Nothing."
 
 She said, "You did that yesterday!"
 
I said, "I wasn't finished!!!!!!!"

sent in by Pam Drysdale in TNG


During a Sunday service, the pastor asked the congregation for their intentions.

We heard the usual requests to pray for sick people and the acknowledgments for those who helped when a parishioner died. The somber mood was broken when the last intention was heard.

A woman stood up and said, "My granddaughter turned 16 this week and received her driver's license. Let us pray for us all."


A man goes to the doctor and reports that he hasn't been feeling well.

The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up," the doctor says. "Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then, just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "My goodness, Doc, exactly what's my problem?"

The doctor looks him in the eye and says, "You're not drinking enough water."

..........and that mystery added ingredient

Starbucks announced this week that from now on new employees will be required to go through 32 hours of training.

The first hour Starbucks employees learn how to make a cup of coffee.

Then the next 31 hours they learn how to charge $4 with a straight face.



Did you realize that the time piece with the fewest number of moving parts is the sun dial.
What is the time piece with the most number of moving parts?

Answer:
An Hourglass. Each grain of sand must move.



There was a ventriloquist who'd had no work for six months.

He went to his agent and told him he needed work badly.

The agent said, "There's no call for ventriloquists, but if you were a psychic I could get you plenty of work."

So the ventriloquist went home and hung out a psychic sign.

An hour later a woman knocks on the door:

"I want to talk to my deceased husband. How much will it cost?"

The ventriloquist says, "If you talk to him, it's $50; if he talks to you, it's $100; and if you talk to each other while I'm drinking a glass of water, that's $200."

The ways of this material world - strange but true
 

'ool - there no P in our pool


"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday School class.

"NO!" the children all answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

"Well, I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"


On the examination paper the Professor demanded that the students sign a form stating that they had not received any outside assistance.

Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.

The Professor carefully studied his answer and told him, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. Believe me God did not assist you."


Q. How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?
A. At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

Judas Asparagus

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.  This is amazing and brought tears of laughter to my eyes.
I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???

Through the eyes of a child: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning which occurred near the start there was nothing but God, darkness and some gas.
The Bible says'The Lord thy God is one but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway God said 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve.
Adam and Eve were nakedbut they weren't embarrassed because mirrors
hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad appleso they were driven from the Garden of Eden.
Not sure what they were driven in though because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son Cainwho hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off except for Methuselah who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah who was a good guy but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join himbut they said  they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother Esau because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses whose real name was Charlton Heston.
Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away
from the evil Pharaoh after

God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments.
These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance or covet your neighbor's stuff.

Oh yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.  There were also some minor league prophets but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.
(I wish I had been born in a barn too because my mom is always saying to me'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would
be nice to say 'As a matter of factI was.')

During His lifeJesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.

Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus.
He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum.
His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.




Symptoms of a Negative Mental Attitude:

George is so forgetful," the sales manager complained to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell anything.
I asked him to pick me up some sandwiches on his way back from lunch and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back."

Just then, the door flew open and in bounced George.

"You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted. "While I was at lunch, I met old man Brown, who hasn't bought anything from us for five years.
Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!"

"See," sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told you he'd forget the sandwiches


Bob hadn't been to a class reunion in decades.
When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner,
so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying, "You look like Helen Brown."

"Well," the woman snapped back, "you don't look so great in blue, either!"



Not the yuga dharma


WORMS' MEAT, n. The finished product of which we are the raw material. The contents of the Taj Mahal, the Tombeau Napoleon and the Granitarium. Worms'-meat is usually outlasted by the structure that houses it, but "this too must pass away." Probably the silliest work in which a human being can engage is construction of a tomb for himself. The solemn purpose cannot dignify, but only accentuates by contrast the foreknown futility.

Ambitious fool! so mad to be a show!
How profitless the labor you bestow
Upon a dwelling whose magnificence
The tenant neither can admire nor know.

Build deep, build high, build massive as you can,
The wanton grass-roots will defeat the plan
By shouldering asunder all the stones
In what to you would be a moment's span.

Time to the dead so all unreckoned flies
That when your marble is all dust, arise,
If wakened, stretch your limbs and yawn ­
You'll think you scarcely can have closed your eyes.

What though of all man's works your tomb alone
Should stand till Time himself be overthrown?
Would it advantage you to dwell therein
Forever as a stain upon a stone?
­Joel Huck

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/

.......more optical illusions and paradigm twists here:

WORSHIP, n. Homo Creator's testimony to the sound construction and fine finish of Deus Creatus. A popular form of abjection, having an element of pride.

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/


While reviewing math symbols  with my second-grade pupils,
I drew a greater-than (>) and a less-than (<) sign on the chalkboard and asked,
"Does anyone remember what these mean?"
A few moments passed, and then a boy confidently raised his hand.
"One means fast-forward," he exclaimed, "and the other means rewind!"

Teresa Donn

Smiles, grins & humor from the files of Reader's Digest (http://www.rd.com/ )!


A third grade teacher was getting to know her pupils on the first day of school.

She turned to one little girl and asked, "What does your Daddy do?"

The girl replied, "Whatever my Mommy tells him to do."




The cruise ship docked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below. The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70s appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief.

As she stepped down, she turned, looked back to the top of the gangplank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now."



Devotees have Gulab jaman eating competitions, whereas the Rakshasas do like this:
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies3073.html


An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."


Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. The only way to move things was by carrying or dragging. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food preparation area. It was exhausting work. The guys were getting tired just WATCHING.

Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and they had an idea. They could sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television.

When the lightning flashes, this is NOT what you want to see.

THIS IS A PICTURE THAT SOMEONE TOOK WHO WORKS ON AN OIL RIG. HE WAS
GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THE LIGHTNING AND WAS UNAWARE OF THE
TORNADO UNTIL THE LIGHTNING ILLUMINATED IT.

Taken Thursday night, April 3, 2008.
Lariat # 2 ?Sandridge Energy?

South of Ft Stockton , TX

kindly sent in by Shahin Maghsoudhi in USA

There are very few problems that cannot be solved by orders ending with 'or die.'    -- Alistair J.R. Young


Two Story Outhouse!!!
 Words fail me!
 This picture is worth 10,000 of them.

(I'm leaving this one here for those of us who are beginning to realize this truth since the elections)

 Yep!!! This pretty much says it all, be it the US Presidential Election or the Governmental Election here in NZ.
Needs no additional comments!!!

sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu CHCH

.......and always remember (don't forget...)
SMILE IT MAKES THE WORLD WONDER WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO ;)

Please Try our little Colour Test - Right Brain vs Left Brain:
http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf


 
 


























































































































I can't believe you actually clicked on that