Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves  =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages

Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm

        So Lord Caitanya is known as the one:

 - hasya-kari  &  hasya-yuk  ==> who laughs & jokes

 - hasya-priya  ==> who is fond of joking

 - hasya-nagara ==> who is the hero of those expert in speaking joking words

 - hasya-grami  &  hasya-kara  ==> is expert at joking

 - pushpa-hasa  ==> whose smile & laugh are as charminng as flowers.

Lord Gauranga's smiling & laughing qualities ki...

                                                ys Radhe Govinda dasa

P.S. One of the qualities of Srimati Radharani is that she is very expert in the art of joking.

This is a MUST READ =>;-Q
http://www.digitalsawdust.com

Four Wives parable:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/4wives.pps

 Click on this link to see how really short life is.
http://www.sastradana.com/video/lifeisshort.wmv

sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP

Angry mouths flip out at a Press Conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym9hMtpk9d4

12 days of Xmas Indian style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra..............

Slow down

After raising 4 kids, and losing one husband, I decided to return to college and get the degree I had started, but never finished. And so, on my first day of college, eager with anticipation, and more than a little nervous, I took a front row seat in my first class in over 40 years, a literature course.

The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books over the course of the semester,
and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose.

He ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book, and began "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..."

I was working feverishly to get down all the names, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

The student behind me whispered, "Slow down! He's just taking attendance!"

(An olde friend sent this one in)

rock beats road every time

One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

'May we see the new baby?" one asked.

"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for awhile first."
Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," said the mother. After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.

"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until he cries?"

"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM. O.K.?

Talking Addition

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus six, that son of a bitch is eight. Three plus four, that son of a bitch is seven...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four!"

Govinda was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question. "Will you marry me, darling?" he asked.

Radha smiled coyly and said in a very politically incorrect tone, "Yes, if you'll buy me a mink."

Govinda thought for a moment and then replied, "Okay, it's a deal, on one condition."

"What is that?" Radha asked.

"You'll have to clean the cage," Govinda replied.

Bubba goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the
preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed  over. Bubba
gets in line. When it's his turn the preacher says, "Bubba, what you want me to pray  about?"

Bubba says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

So the preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear and the other hand on  top of
his head and prays a while. After a few minutes, he removes his hands and
says, "Bubba, how's your  hearing now?"

Bubba says, "I don't know preacher, it's not until next Wednesday."

A middle aged doctor in the Punjab was becoming burned out. One day he didn't go into the office but chose to stay on his farm property. Most of the day, he sat on the edge of the well dropping pebbles into the water below. At mid-afternoon, his nurse got an auto' and drove out to the farm to ask that he come to the office because they had so many patients there. He said, "I'll come soon, my dear.' About an hour later, when he had not come to the office, his nurse returned to him at the farm. As she drove up on the auto-rikshaw, he turned, fell into the well and drowned.

The moral of this story is:  Doctors should treat the sick and leave the well alone!

oooooops it was just out of paper

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35.

Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Air New Zealand Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.

So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.

Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Air New Zealand's physical fitness program."

  Did you ever wonder? 

A robber who held up a Milwaukee store asked one of his victims for a date.
 
"He stuck around and was trying to get the female employee's number," U-Haul manager Pat Slobinski said.
 
The two robbers accosted two employees and forced them to open the cash register.
One grabbed the money, forced the workers to the ground and then fled. But the second man stayed at the counter and asked the woman for a date.
 
The man left after the women told him she was not interested in seeing him again.

Local police, however, are very interested in meeting up with both men.

A baseball umpire had a reputation for mean and surly behavior.
One Sunday morning the umpire asked his son to jump on his lap and listen as the father read the son the funnies.
But the boy refused because the son never sits on the brutish umpire.



There was a man who had worked all his life, saved all his money, and was a real miser. Just before he died he said to his wife, "When I die I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me, I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died she would put all his money in the casket with him.

Well he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony just before they were ready to close the casket the wife say, "Wait a minute!" She had a box with her and she came over with the box and put it in the casket. The undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

Her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband?"

The loyal wife replied, "Listen I'm a Christian I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put the money in with him."

"You mean to tell me that you put all that money in the casket!"

"I sure did," said the wife, "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote a cheque, if he can cash it he can spend it.

A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.

"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the guru said "The most effective prayer position is sitting down on the floor in the lotus asana."

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "Excuse me for butting in, but in my experience the best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole when the ladder moved and fell away."

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender." The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?" The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads." "Ahh, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder,  those are friars!"

The ways of this material world - strange but true

cyber sadhu sanga

A difficult independent 75-year-old woman liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons.

One day she brought with her a whole loaf of fresh bread just to feed her daily company.
Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy.
She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood.

Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on her parade by telling her
that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa.

She replied in crazed anger and without hesitation, "Well, hell, I can't throw that far!"

He avoided funerals because he was not a mourning person.

......soldier get your ass over here at the double !!!

Recently a young woman came into my friend's father's insurance office with her newborn twins.

His Dad asked her if she ever had any trouble telling them apart.

She gave him a funny look before responding, "No, I haven't had any problem. This is Govinda, and this is his sister, Sundari."

only in the Kali yuga................

A US woman has been inundated with calls from people wanting to buy her brother after placing an ad in a newspaper to sell her Brother sewing machine.

La Sheba Psalter says the ad, which was placed in the Miscellaneous Items under $50 section in the newspaper just read BROTHER for sale.

The newspaper has admitted failing to include the words sewing machine in the advertisement and has since run a correction.

But Ms. Psalter says she has repeatedly had to tell interested callers that it was a misprint. One caller even asked her if the price for her brother was negotiable.

While discussing the plight of Driver's license examiners, a former motor-vehicle-bureau director told about a woman who was parallel parking.

The examiner asked her, "Could you get a little closer?"

Instead of moving the car, she slid over toward him.

.....incoming !!!!!

A police car pulled a friend over near the high school where he teaches.
As the officer asked for his license and registration, my friend's students began to drive past.
Some honked their horns, others hooted, and still others stopped to admonish him for speeding.

Finally the officer asked my friend if he was a teacher at the school, and he told him he was.

"I think you've paid your debt to society," he said with a smile, and left without giving him a ticket.

SCARIFICATION, n. A form of penance practised by the mediaeval pious. The rite was performed, sometimes with a knife, sometimes with a hot iron, but always, says Arsenius Asceticus, acceptably if the penitent spared himself no pain nor harmless disfigurement. Scarification, with other crude penances, has now been superseded by benefaction. The founding of a library or endowment of a university is said to yield to the penitent a sharper and more lasting pain than is conferred by the knife or iron, and is therefore a surer means of grace.

There are, however, two grave objections to it as a penitential method: the good that it does and the taint of justice.

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/

.......more optical illusions and paradigm twists here:

SCEPTER, n. A king's staff of office, the sign and symbol of his authority. It was originally a mace with which the sovereign admonished his jester and vetoed ministerial measures by breaking the bones of their proponents.

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/

A city slicker stopped in a small town to ask a farmer directions. The stranger looks at the dog sitting at the man’s feet and says, “Your dog bite?”

The farmer says no and when the stranger reaches down to pet the dog, he gets bitten.

The man jumps back and angrily says, “You said your dog didn’t bite!”

The farmer replies, “Mine doesn’t. This here dog’s not mine.”

Not Your Mama's Chili...

A young cowboy walks into the town cafe. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning in it with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."

keep yer hair on !!!!

The Catholic priest, a pastor from one of the local churches and the Jewish Rabbi were standing near the top of the hill by the road,
in the pouring rain, attempting to pound a hand painted, rough sign into the ground, that read:

THE END IS NEAR !

TURN AROUND NOW !

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE !
 
As one car sped past them, the driver yelled out the open window, "Leave us alone, you crazy religious nuts!"

Moments later, from the curve below the hill that went over a bridge that was now no longer there,
they heard the sickening sound of screeching tires, silence and a then a big splash.

The priest turned to the pastor and rabbi and meekly suggested, "Maybe we should just put up a sign that just says,

 "THE BRIDGE IS OUT"

Moral to this little tale: Take note of the Lord's messengers, even they may not be able to put up the external signs to one's liking.

At Gurukul the teacher asked the class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Jahnavi spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Please Try our little Colour Test - Right Brain vs Left Brain:
http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf