New Zealand Hare Krishna Spiritual Resource Network Newsletter 60 Archive:
New Zealand Hare Krishna Spiritual Resource Network
Newsletter Number #60 - End Aswin-Kartik Mase (Oct-Nov 2001 A.D.issue)

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----------------------< ISKCON ki jaya >-----------------------


Please Accept My Respectful Obeisances & Best Wishes To All

_0____, All Glories To Srila Prabhupad.

/ \ All Glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

Welcome to this latest edition of the HKSRNewsletter, and our humble attempt to do some service. This newsletter now goes out to way over 1555 receivers. I trust that all is well with everyone by the Mercy of the Lord. However, if anyone would like to be removed please just send me a message requesting me to do so, and I will do it promptly. If you are receiving this from a friend, and would like to be added directly to the mailout please also let me know and I will do the needful there too. Hare Krishna. =>B-) JTCd
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WWW - news and views: Calendar Updates & Events.

Vijaydasami - Victory for Lord Rama over Ravana
Sripad Madhwacharya (Ananda Tirtha) - Avirbhav
Pasankusha Ekadasi
Srila Raghunatha dasa Goswami - Tirubhav
Srila Raghunath Bhatta Goswami - Tirubhav
Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraj Goswami - Tirubhav
Sri Krishna Saradiya Rasayatra
Srila Murari Gupta - Tirubhav
Laxmi Puja
Chaturmasya - Fourth month fasting from Urid dahl
Kartik Festivals
Srila Narottam dasa Thakur - Tirubhav
Bahulastami & Appearance of Radha-kunda & Snan dana
Srila Virabhadra - Avirbhav
Sri Ramaa Ekadasi
Govardhan Puja
Go puja
Bali Daityaraj puja
Srila Rasikananda - Avirbhav
Srila Vasudev Ghosh - Tirubhav
Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada - Tirubhav (fasting 'till noon)
Srila Gadadhara Dasa Goswami - Tirubhav
Srila Dhananjaya Pandit - Tirubhav
Srila Srinivasa Acharya - Tirubhav
Jagaddhatri puja
Srila Gaura Kishora dasa babaji - Tirubhav (fast 'till noon)
(Feasting done next day for GKdb)
Bhisma Panchaka
Utthana Ekadasii
Srila Bhugarbha Goswami - Tirubhav
Srila Kasiswar Pandit - Tirubhav
Purnima - Sri Krishna Rasayatra
Sriyuts Tulasi-Salagram Vivaha (marriage)
Sripad Nimbarka Acharya - Avirbhav
Chaturmasya Ends

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updated last on 25th October 2001
The Interactive Vaishnava Calendar page of
Fasts, Festivals, Functions and Feasts.

Now you can view the FULL years 1999-2000 & 2000-2001 & 2001-2002.
All Calendar entries are explained - Appearance or Disappearance
days, festivals, fasts, feasts, etc.

View other festivals on the Calendar:


Vijaydasami - Victory for Lord Rama over Ravana

Sripad Madhwacharya (Ananda Tirtha) - Avirbhav

Pasankusha Ekadasi

Srila Raghunatha Dasa Goswami - Tirubhav

Srila Raghunath Bhatta Goswami - Tirubhav

Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraj Goswami - Tirubhav

Sri Krishna Saradiya Rasayatra

Srila Murari Gupta - Tirubhav

Laxmi Puja

Chaturmasya - Fourth month fasting from Urid dahl

Kartik Festivals

Damodara vrata

Srila Narottam dasa Thakur - Tirubhav

Bahulastami & Appearance of Radha-kunda & Snan dana

Srila Virabhadra - Avirbhav

Sri Ramaa Ekadasi (NOTE Ramaa not Rama)


Govardhan Puja

Go puja

Bali Daityaraj puja

Srila Rasikananda Dev Goswami - Avirbhav

Srila Vasudev Ghosh - Tirubhav

Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada - Tirubhav (fasting 'till noon)


Srila Gadadhara Dasa Goswami - Tirubhav

Srila Dhananjaya Pandit - Tirubhav

Srila Srinivasa Acharya - Tirubhav


Jagaddhatri puja

Srila Gaura Kishora dasa babaji - Tirubhav (fast 'till noon)
(Feasting done next day for GKdb)

Bhisma Panchaka

Haribhodhini - Utthana Ekadasi (fasting 'till noon 4 GKdb)

Srila Bhugarbha Goswami - Tirubhav

Srila Kasiswar Pandit - Tirubhav

Purnima - Sri Krishna Rasayatra

Sriyuts Tulasi-Salagram Vivaha (marriage)

Sripad Nimbarka Acharya - Avirbhav

Chaturmasya Ends

...and for after these check the Calendar
Check out the Ekadasi pages with links to every Ekadasi:
(also find out from Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur
Prabhupada what is, and what constitutes a mahadwadasi)

Pasankusha Ekadasi

Sri Ramaa Ekadasi (NOTE Ramaa not Rama)

Haribhodhini - Utthana Ekadasi

Download your Vaishnava Calendar and make a hard copy for this
year ( 2001-2002 AD - 515 Gaurabda ) from our site:

Vaishnava Calendar Program Vcal 4.01 FREE Download:

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Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya
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Srimad Bhagavad Gita AS IT IS
Contents of the Gita Summarized
Chapter 2 TEXT 11

sri-bhagavan uvacha

asochyan anvasochas tvam
prajna-vadams cha bhasase
gatasun agatasums cha
nanusochanti panditah

sri-bhagavan uvaca--the Supreme Personality of Godhead said; asocyan--not worthy of lamentation; anvasocah--you are lamenting; tvam--you; prajna-vadan--learned talks; ca--also; bhasase--speaking; gata--lost; asun--life; agata--not past; asun--life; ca--also; na--never; anusocanti--lament; panditah--the learned.

The Supreme Personality of Godhead said: While speaking learned words, you are mourning for what is not worthy of grief. Those who are wise lament neither for the living nor for the dead.

PURPORT by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
The Lord at once took the position of the teacher and chastised the student, calling him, indirectly, a fool. The Lord said, ìYou are talking like a learned man, but you do not know that one who is learned--one who knows what is body and what is soul--does not lament for any stage of the body, neither in the living nor in the dead condition.î As explained in later chapters, it will be clear that knowledge means to know matter and spirit and the controller of both. Arjuna argued that religious principles should be given more importance than politics or sociology, but he did not know that knowledge of matter, soul and the Supreme is even more important than religious formularies. And because he was lacking in that knowledge, he should not have posed himself as a very learned man. As he did not happen to be a very learned man, he was consequently lamenting for something which was unworthy of lamentation. The body is born and is destined to be vanquished today or tomorrow; therefore the body is not as important as the soul. One who knows this is actually learned, and for him there is no cause for lamentation, regardless of the condition of the material body.

Bhagavad Gita As It Is

Copyright 1983 The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International. Used with permission.

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Individualism in Unity in Rg Veda:

The hands are alike but in their work they differ. So also, two cows, offspring of a single mother, may yet give differing yields of milk. Even twins are not the same in strength, or kinsmen in bounty. Yet all may work together.

Rig Veda Samhita 10.117.9.
"It really doesn't matter what activity a man engages in. If he can simply satisfy the Supreme Lord, his life is successful." (ACBSP. Srimad Bhagavatam. 5.14.40 purport)
"Those who are engaged in auspicious activities in devotional service certainly understand that the ultimate enjoyer or beneficiary of all activities is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Thus when one acts, he offers the results to the Supreme Personality of Godhead and passes life always engaged in the topics of the Lord. Even though such a person may be participating in family life, he is not affected by the results of his actions." (ACBSP. Bhag. 4.30.19 purport)
"Generally a person living in a family becomes overly attached to fruitive activity. In other words, he tries to enjoy the results of his activities. A devotee, however, knows that Krsna is the supreme enjoyer and the supreme proprietor (bhoktaram yajna-tapasam sarva-loka-mahesvaram). Consequently, the devotee does not consider himself the proprietor of any occupation. The devotee always thinks of the Supreme Personality of Godhead as the proprietor; therefore the results of his business are offered to the Supreme Lord. One who thus lives in the material world with his family and children never becomes affected by the contaminations of the material world." (ACBSP. Bhag. 4.30.19 purport)
When you speak out, speak out auspicious things, O bird of inner conscience; when you remain silent, be pleased to cherish kind thoughts toward us. When you speak out, flying upwards, your voice is like sweet musical notes of a lute. May we, blessed with excellent descendents, sing aloud your praises in the sacrificial assembly.

Rig Veda 2.43.3
"Not a single living entity can remain unengaged even for a moment. One must act by his natural tendency according to the three modes of material nature because this natural tendency forcibly makes him work in a particular way." (Bhag. 6.1.53)
"The svabhavika, or one's natural tendency, is the most important factor in action. One's natural tendency is to serve because a living entity is an eternal servant of God. The living entity wants to serve, but because of his forgetfulness of his relationship with the Supreme Lord, he serves under the modes of material nature and manufactures various modes of service, such as socialism, humanitarianism and altruism." (Bhag. 6.1.53)
By His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

The great mistake of modern civilization is to encroach upon others' property as though it were one's own and to thereby create an unnecessary disturbance of the laws of nature. These laws are very strong. No living entity can violate them. Only one who is Krsna conscious can easily overcome the stringency of the laws of nature and thus become happy and peaceful in the world.

As a state is protected by the Department of Law and Order, so the state of the Universe, of which this earth is only an insignificant fragment, is protected by the laws of nature. This material nature is one of the different potencies of God, who is the ultimate proprietor of everything that be. This earth is, therefore, the property of God, but we the living entities, especially the so-called civilized human beings, are claiming God's property as our own under both an individual and collective false conception. If you want peace, you have to remove this false conception from your mind and from the world. This false claim of proprietorship by the human race on earth is partly or wholly the cause of all disturbances of peace on earth.

Foolish and so-called civilized men are claiming proprietary rights on the property of God because they have now become godless. You cannot be happy and peaceful in a godless society. In Bhagavad-gita Lord Krsna says that He is the factual enjoyer of all activities of the living entities, that He is the Supreme Lord of all universes, and that He is the well-wishing friend of all beings. When the people of the world know this as the formula for peace, it is then and there that peace will prevail.

Therefore, if you want peace at all, you will have to change your consciousness into Krsna consciousness, both individually and collectively, by the simple process of chanting the holy name of God. This is a standard and recognized process for achieving peace in the world. We therefore recommend that everyone become Krsna conscious by chanting: Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare / Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.

This is practical, simple and sublime. Four hundred and eighty years ago this formula was introduced in India by Lord Sri Caitanya, and now it is available in your country. Take to this simple process of chanting as above mentioned, realize your factual position by reading The Bhagavad-gita As It Is, and reestablish your lost relationship with Krsna, God. Peace and prosperity will be the immediate worldwide result.

The Peace Formula lectures - Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada:
Please chant:

hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare
hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare

.......and your life will become sublime.
nirapeksam munim santam
nirvairam sama-darshanam
anuvrajamy aham nityam
puyeyety anghri-renubhih

"With the dust of My devotees's lotus feet, I desire to purify the material worlds, which are situated within Me. Thus I always follow the footsteps of My pure devotees, who are free from all personal desires, rapt in thought of my pastimes, peaceful, without any feelings of enmity, and equal disposition everywhere." (Srimad Bhagavatam 11:14:16.)
jäto ’yam kantaka-drumah
vishnor näläyito ’rbhakah

This rascal Prahläda has appeared like a thorn tree in a forest of sandalwood. To cut down sandalwood trees, an axe is needed, and the wood of the thorn tree is very suitable for the handle of such an axe. Lord Vishnu is the axe for cutting down the sandalwood forest of the family of demons, and this Prahläda is the handle for that axe.

"Thorn trees generally grow in deserted places, not in sandalwood forests, but the seminal brähmanas Sanda and Amarka compared the dynasty of the Daitya Hiranyakashipu to a sandalwood forest and compared Prahläda Mahäräja to a hard, strong thorn tree that could provide the handle of an axe. They compared Lord Vishnu to the axe itself. An axe alone cannot cut a thorn tree; it needs a handle, which may be made of the wood of a thorn tree. Thus the thorn tree of demoniac civilization can be cut to pieces by the axe of vishnu-bhakti, devotional service to Lord Krishna. Some of the members of the demoniac civilization, like Prahläda Mahäräja, may become the handle for the axe, to assist Lord Vishnu, and thus the entire forest of demoniac civilization can be cut to pieces." (ACBSP. Srimad Bhagavatam 7:5:17. purport.)

"When the axe entered the forest, the trees said,
'The handle is one of us!'"
- Turkish proverb

While living in the material realm the wise devotee uses the facility of the world as a means to get out of the confines of the materialistic forest. Just as above the example is given of taking the wooden axe handle to chop down the trees that represent a myriad of material desire. The Buddhists too have the same understanding in ceasing action of such a forest of entanglement and interaction (karmas) by stopping such action in the forest.

Nir - no
Vana - forest

The Vaishnava understanding as stated in the above verse is more complete as it takes the hard, thorny wood and uses that to fell those trees, and the same wood again in the hammer to rebuild in a spiritual manner the necessities for serving the Lord, and the steps by which to ascend the flower airplane back to Home.

Presented by Stephen Knapp (Sri Nandanandana dasa)

This is a real eye-opener for anyone who is interested in Indian culture and getting to the truth of Indian and Vedic history.

We've all heard how the Taj Mahal is the preeminent expression of a man's love for his wife. That the Taj Mahal was built by the Muslim ruler Shahjahan. However, this photographic evidence which we have now made available will show that the truth of the matter may be quite different. This is a presentation of photographs that once belonged to the "Archeaological Survey of India" that shows the Vedic influence of the Taj Mahal and other buildings of India, indicating that the Taj Mahal was not built as a mausoleum but was previuosly a Shiva Temple/Vedic Palace complex. Now before you say that this is a lulu of an idea, take a look at the photos and read the captions and decide for yourself. I've received numerous emails from people who describe how interesting the presentation is. Even Professor Subhash Kak, author of such books as "The Astronomical Code of the Rig Veda," "The Nature of Physical Reality," and his new book, "The Wishing Tree: The Presence and Promise of India," as well as co-author with David Frawley and Georg Feuerstein of "In Search of the Cradle of Civilization," described this presentaiton in a word as "Superb."

You can find these photos at:

The full story is that these black and white photographs were found in India in an album that was secretly smuggled out of the country. These photos bare the stamp on the back of each stating its authenticity, saying that it is the property of the Archeaological Survey of India. Each photograph was accompanied by a caption that explains exactly what is in the photo, which are included on the web site. The captions are written from an Indian perspective, but tell the story of how the Taj Mahal was actually a Vedic temple/palace complex that pre-dates Shahjahan by several centuries. Shajahan merely captured the building from Jai Singh, the previous Hindu ruler, and then turned it into a mausoleum and misdirected the true history of it. The Taj Mahal had numerous apartments and a huge water well for the many residents and servants that lived inside, something that a mausoleum would not need. The photos show this.

This selection of photographs also shows the Vedic archeological and artistic elements in the Taj Mahal, as well as other buildings in India, such as the Red Fort, that make it obvious that the Taj Mahal and other famous buildings were never built by Muslims. These photographs make it obvious that the public should be made aware of what the Taj Mahal really is, that it is a significant display of the archeological achievements of Vedic culture and their devotioin to the spiritual path. This should be an indication for everyone of the false and demeaning nature of the British concoction of India's past, which includes the idea of the Aryan Invasion Theory, which had been accepted as factual history. This should indicate that it is time for the history of India to be rewritten.

If we can begin to understand how the history of the Taj Mahal, one of the great wonders of the world, has been so falsified over the years, we should also begin to see how numerous other aspects of India's history have been deliberately misrepresented. These photographs prove that the true origination of numerous temples, palaces and forts that presently are said to have been built by foreigners, has been concealed. Most of them were merely usurped and captured by marauding invaders. Full investigations should be made on these numerous buildings to uncover their true history. Much more information about this is included in my book, "Proof of Vedic Culture's Global Existence."

Please feel free to pass this message along to all others who may be interested, or even download these photos and their captions for your own displays in your temples, office, home, etc.

Complete information about the books of Stephen Knapp, and many more articles, photographs, and free e-books, such as "Why Be a Hindu: The Advantages of the Vedic Path," and "The Gentle Art of Dharma Self Defense," are also available on this web site, at:

See more pages about Vedik Heritage
Hare Krishna Audio Library
- Class of the Week
This week's class:

How Can You Have Peace Without Recognizing the Supreme Proprietor?

by His Divine Grace AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
New York, December 7, 1966

Listen to it HERE on-line.

Hare Krishna Audio Library Music selection:
Hare Krishna Audio Library
Listen to or Download for FREE a sample class by HH Kadamba Kanana Swami

or Listen to or Download for FREE numerous other classes on all kinds of inspiring topics by advanced devotees in the Krishna Consciousness Movement:

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Watch Krishna Conscious Devotional and Educational Videos

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Life After Life (A Metamorphisis)
Mysteries of the Sacred Universe
Madhvacarya meets with Srila Vyasadeva
Kurukshetra: Land of the Bhagavad-Gita
Are you a Carnivore?
Meet Your Meat (Warning! Very Graphic)
Near Death Experience
..............and much more.
SRI DAMODARASTAKAM Tika by Sri Sanatana Gosvamipada:

1       namamisvaram sac-cid-ananda-rupam
        lasat-kundalam gokule bhrajamanam
        yasoda--bhiyolukhalad dhavamanam
        paramrstam atyantato drutya gopya

Namam== I bow down with love and devotion before commencing description of the Supreme Lord's excellences (visesa) or attributes of tattva visesa, lila visesa, guna and rupa visesa. When starting any function it is customary to offer respects to the Isvara. This word serves as the Mangalacaran.

Isvara== an individual attributes or characteristics. This indicates tattva visesa, an excellence of the truth of the Supreme Lord.
Obeisances are offered to the Supreme Controller in order to get the power to offer this prayer and prove that only the Supreme Lord is worthy of such glorification.

Sac-cid anandam rupam==defines the Supreme Lord as one with a transcendental form of eternity, knowledge, and bliss (rupa visesa) or a description of the excellence of His beauty.

Lasanti Kundalam== Swinging earrings running in fear of Yasoda. Earrings have a position above all other ornaments because always kissing Damodara's cheeks. Lasanti=glistening because reflect the splendorous effulgence of Krsna's bodily complexion.
Therefore, Krsna's body is the ornament of all ornaments. See Subala 3.2.12 vismapanam

Gokule Bhrajamanam== Parivara visesa, excellence of His family, the Vrajavasis. Gokula, which is filled with gopas, gopis, cows, calves, Yamuna and Govardhana Hill, is a befitting place wherein Krsna can manifest His topmost pastimes.

Yasoda Bhiya== Lila visesa, excellence of Krsna's pastimes. Krsna displays great fear of Mother Yasoda punishment for breaking her yogurt pots and stealing the fresh butter.

Ulukhalat== Krsna stood on a large wooden grinding mortar to steal butter hanging from the rafters.

Dhavaman==Krsna jumps down and runs away.

Details see SB 10.9.8-9

Paramrstam== saundarya visesa, excellence of Yasoda's beauty.=caught by the back

Atyantato Drutya==Mother Yasoda running swiftly behind Krsna. Her beautiful hips, full breasts, flowers falling from loosened hair, perspiring.


Gopya== Mother Yasoda.

Visit the for the other seven verses.
One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him, and the other belonging to the Lord.

When the last scene of this life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
Lord, you said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed You most, You would leave me.
The Lord replied "My son. My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Author unknown

See more items like this
"Material achievements are not the ultimate goal of devotional service. The ultimate goal of devotional service is love of Godhead. Therefore although Prahlada Maharaja, Dhruva Maharaja, Ambarisa Maharaja, Yudhisthira Maharaja and many devotee kings were materially very opulent, they accepted their material opulence in the service of the Lord, not for their personal sense gratification. Of course, possessing material opulence is always fearful because under the influence of material opulence one may be misdirected from devotional service. Nonetheless, a pure devotee (anyabhilasita-sunyam) is never misdirected by material opulence. On the contrary, whatever he possesses he engages one hundred percent in the service of the Lord. When one is allured by material possessions, they are considered to be given by maya, but when one uses material possessions fully for service, they are considered God's gifts, or facilities offered by Krsna for enhancing one's devotional service." (Srimad Bhagavatam. 7.10.1. purport)
Hare Krishna is NOT "a Cult":
Is ISKCON a Cult or part of the "Hindu Culture" or Something Else?

Hare Krishna is NOT a Cult letter by Kunti dd editor of Hare Krishna World:

Topical Articles:

Genetic Engineering -
Environment -
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The Four Regulative Principles of Freedom -
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.........many other articles -

and from there go to the Main Index
East Meets West
East Meets West - Satyaraj dasa discusses philosophy with Swami B. G. Narasingha:

Satyaraja dasa (Steven Rosen)

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Henry David Thoreau
Teacher, Quaker, Rover, Mystic
Early American Indologists
T. S. Eliot

Read it on-line.
The Religious Movements Homepage - @ The University of Virginia:

Read more InterFaith material at
A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill in a room of 200 people, and asked, " Who would like this $20 bill ?"

Hands started going up.

He said, " I am going to give this $20 bill to one of you, but first let me do this...." He proceeded to crumple the $20 up.

He then asked, " Who still wants it ?"
Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well"... he replied, " What if I do this?"..and he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" he asked.

Hands still shot up!

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it..because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20."

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt, by the decisions we make, and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you never lose your value ! Dirty...clean...crumpled...or finely are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special....don't ever forget it.

Count your blessings.......not your problems.
A Look @ Honesty
The importance of honesty
Recently there was quite an uproar at a prominent public figure admitting to an illicit affair. The outcry was not really directed at the illicit affair - in fact there were quite a few indulgent winks and understanding nods for that. What really upset the public were the initial denials of the affair by the person. The people were angry and hurt by the fact that they had been lied to.

There are four legs or supports of religion. They are austerity, purity, mercy and truthfulness. With the progress of time, purity, mercy and austerity have greatly diminished. The first to go was austerity or voluntarily accepting physical and mental hardships for a higher purpose. Purity, which is manifested by conducting all activities according to the strict codes of morality was next to go. With an increase in aggression against animals and fellow humans, the quality of mercy declined. The only remaining leg of religion is honesty. It is the last refuge of religion and must be never violated. In the incident described above people were outraged since honesty, the only remaining leg of religion, was corrupted.

Honesty is the essential basis of all our dealings, whether it is with friends, relatives, strangers or with God. It is the only thread that is keeping the fabric of civilization from falling apart. It is the basis of any spiritual advancements we can aspire to make. In the previous ages, aspiring spiritualists would undertake severe austerities, extended meditation, chant intricate and exotic mantras (hymns) or perform elaborate temple worship. All this may not be possible now. For now, the key to spiritual progress rests entirely on honesty and truthfulness.

Honest spiritual endeavor
The first step in making spiritual progress is understanding where one is heading. One cannot hope to reach Paris by catching a plane to London. All paths may eventually lead to God, but not all paths are the same and not all of them are suitable for everyone.

In the current age, chanting the holy names of the Lord hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare, hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare is the recommended path for making spiritual advancement. It is easy, simple and any can do it.

But chanting without understanding is like the man who would sit in front of a king's palace and constantly chant the king's name. One day the king noticed the man and asked him what he wanted. The man looked at the king and shrugged, 'I do not know what I want, I am just chanting.'

The Hare Krishna maha-mantra is a plea to the internal potency of the Lord, to be engaged in His service. Chanting with the realization that the Lord and His names are non-different is the highest form of service. But this realization comes by executing devotional service for the Lord. Yet people may spend several years chanting and when the Lord gives them the opportunity to perform service they refuse. What is the point in chanting mechanically, without understanding its purpose? When one does not desire to serve, then why repeatedly ask for the service?

True humility
One of the most glorious attribute in a devotee is humility. It is an essential pre-requisite to offenseless chanting. In the beginning stages, humility is understanding that God is infinite and we are infinitesimal. As one progresses this blossoms into seeing every one and every thing as part and parcel of the Lord and thus worthy of all respects. In the very elevated stages one begins to genuinely feel one's own inadequacy in serving or reciprocating with the Lord. The external manifestations of humility should be an honest reflection of the inner realization, not an artificial attempt to gain recognition. True humility manifests itself as a desire to serve, with body, mind and speech. However, devotees who project humility by constantly calling themselves as the most-fallen or the most offensive without desiring to render service may be seen as generally far from this realization. They either do it expecting reciprocation or simply to show case their great humility.

All religions stress on surrender as the key component to making spiritual progress. Surrender is not simply a theoretical concept, nor is it achieved through elaborate rituals or loud proclamations. Surrender is very real and very practical. It means to surrender to the instructions of the Lord and His representatives. One cannot claim to be surrendered and then act whimsically, the two actions are in complete contradiction. When one surrenders to the Lord or the spiritual master, one is promising that 'from now on I will do my best to understand and follow your instructions.' This is real honest surrender, which will draw the mercy of the Lord.

No room for hypocrisy
Over time one may become expert at using the scriptures to one's advantage. Overeating gets justified as 'honoring the Lord's remnants', or starving the body or absorbing oneself in whimsical dietry regimes from non-vedic sources. The body becomes a 'temple of the Lord' and therefore is given utmost care. Family responsibilities are avoided by becoming 'transcendental to bodily relations.' Mistakes are shrugged off as 'the Lord's desire.' Lethargy and laziness are justified as 'not over endeavoring for mundane things.' The highest renunciation becomes 'renouncing renunciation.' Using the cliche, 'Just chant hare krishna' as a resolve for not studying, or attempting to understand the culture of Krishna consciousness. These are all hypocritical actions. One's behavior must be consistent with one's level of realization. God is within us as the Supersoul. He knows all our thoughts, our desires and our intents. When we behave in a hypocritical manner, we are only harming our spiritual lives and bewildering the innocent. However, self assessment is superior to critical judgement - Dr. heal thy self.

Walk the talk
It is important that one must act and speak consistently. Preaching is a very important service to the Lord, but it should never be done for the sake of relishing the power of control over others. When one preaches about surrender, one should be at least sincerely trying to surrender. At all times there must be a consistency between one's words and actions. When one speaks the glories of prasadam one should not make a habit of wasting prasadam. Simply using the scriptures to win debates, garner praise and glory or attract followers is falsehood. One must be careful to focus one's activities on the goal, which is reviving our dormant love for God.

The essence of devotion
The Lord accepts the essence of one's emotions. There is no fooling Him, for He is witness to all our internal desires and external actions. More important than the activities is the consciousness with which they are performed. One may sing melodious songs glorifying the Lord, learn many verses from the scriptures, give spell binding talks, perform difficult austerities or so many others forms of devotional service, but unless they are executed for the pleasure of the Lord they are simply extended forms of sense gratification and will not yield the required spiritual benefit.

Developing spiritual consciousness is simple for the simple and complicated for the crooked. The essential quality of a devotee is being honest to everyone at all points of time. This quality must be consciously cultivated and personally monitored. There are many subtle and not-so subtle distractions on the path of devotion that may easily distract a devotee. However, for one who is sincere, vigilant and honest, and in the association of like-minded honest devotees the path is easy and the journey blissful.

Author(s) source : unknown

Original from Subala prabhu's Bhagavad Gita Forum
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Our Mixed Feelings of Condolences and Jubilation:
The passing away of Tribhuvannath prabhu ACBSP

"He reason ill who tells that Vaisnavas die
When thou art living still in sound!
The Vaisnavas die to live, and living try
To spread the Holy Name around !"

(Poem by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura)

Sri Ishopanishad - Mantra Seventeen - Psalm

väyur anilam amritam
athedam bhasmäntam sharnram
om krato smara kritam smara
krato smara kritam smara

"Let this temporary body be burnt to ashes, and let the air of life be merged with the totality of air. Now, O my Lord, please remember all my sacrifices, and because You are the ultimate beneficiary, please remember all that I have done for You."

It is surely a sad loss, but with the knowledge of his level of Krishna consciousness his destination is guaranteed. Now one thing you can do to raise your spirits is to read about our illustrious and respected devotee Tribhuvannatha prabhu who left his body on Tuesday 16th October 2001 in Brazil of advanced stomach cancer. There are some nice tributes posted on and I am sure that more will follow. A memorial service was being held in his honor on Saturday 20th October at the Bhaktivedanta Manor in London, UK. I have heard that devotees are arriving there by the hundreds to pay their last respects to this wonderful vaishnava.

We, and the entire community of devotees worldwide wish him well on his way back to the spiritual abode - Goloka Vrindavana.
...check it out

ohu vaha ho
ohu vaha ho
ohu vaha ho.....oh how wondrous !!!

It gives me great pleasure to announce that Sriman Govinda Charan prabhu, and mother Titiksha in Auckland had a son, now named Krishan on the 6th Oct 2001, mother and baby are well.

This is their third "Ray of Vishnu" - may they have many more.

"Sucinäm Shrimatäm gehe. So this child is born of a devotee father and devotee mother. Now he’ll again begin from the point where he lost last life. Suppose Krishna consciousness he executed fifty percent. So he’ll begin from this life fifty-one percent. That fifty percent was in his stock. But ordinary karmis—cent percent lost. He has to begin another chapter of life according to his karma." (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 17th July 1971. Lexture in Detroit.)

"There are two kinds of children born of good fathers: one is educated in Krishna consciousness so that he can be delivered from the clutches of mäyä in that very life, and the other is a ray of the Supreme Personality of Godhead and teaches the world the ultimate goal of life." (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 8th August 1976. Srimad Bhagavatam class SB 3:22:19. Tehran, Iran)

As of 15th October 2001, the elderly, learned and saintly devotee HH Maha Vishnu Goswami is officially recognised as an Iskcon initiating Guru.

For more details contact Jagjeevan dasa

V a i s h n a v a L e a d e r s h i p E x c e l l e n c e

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Come and join the throng 11:00 am - 12:30 pm

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How Much Bigger
- based on Prabhupada's Frog in the well analogy - CDRom Interactive Game:

A CDROM for PC and MAC
From atom to the Universe
Interactive electronic book
Interactive animated cartoon with subtitles
Hundreds of funny animations
Jigsaw puzzles

Audio tape, story and sing along music
19 pages colorful printed book
14 minutes cartoon on video tape
A2 size, wall poster, map of the Universe

All in one package
New - Kiwi Youth Web-page
Meet the Kuli's
Picture Gallery(ies)
...and much more. us a visit, and be part of it

We welcome your contributions - articles, ideas, links, etc.
Kiwi Gurukuli Camp ~ 2002
21st - 27th January 2002
We will be chilling at Waiotapu Camp, Rotorua (1 min drive from Kerosene Creek!( hot thermal waterfall for patching your bones in the evenings) boyak!) which is 3 hours drive from Auckland City. Close to many beaut big lakes and swimming areas, and great bush & mountain walks for the enthused.
Swimming at the blue lake & other awesome lakes
Flying fox
Volleyball & Soccer
Beautiful bush walks
Back massages under the waterfalls
Beach trips
Two K PA sound system
Soaking in hot thermal pools in the bush under the stars
Geysers & boiling mud pools
Rocking Kirtans!
.....and much more!
The vision of the Kiwi Kuli Camp is to provide an opportunity for the Vaisnava youth to get together and share great times amidst New Zealand's beautiful countryside. Above all, the ultimate goal is to help each other further our Love for Sri Krsna.

Just one rule: please follow the four regs during camp week.

All the Prasadam preperation will be done at camp,
so please come ready to help out with cooking, cleaning etc ~ Thanks!

All Devotee Youth are Welcome, but there is an age minimum of 16 years.

Cost ~ NZ$100 - $150 pending Funding & CKI Grant.
To reserve yourself a spot or for inquiries, please contact Rama or Vrnda on (0064 9) 8344342.
Email to: or

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last updated 25th October 2001
Vegetarian Clubs
Waikato University - Hamilton campus

2 days per week serving about 100 plates each day.

for more information

Auckland University - Wellesley St. campus

Otago University - Dunedin

Room 2., Clubs & Societies Building
Albany St.,

contact Jambavati dasi (03) 477 8277
Practicing Krishna Consciousness at Home:
Waihi Yoga Iyengar Style
Bookings are being taken for classes in Iyenga Hatha Yoga for January 2002

Monday, Wednesday, Thursday

Six week introductory course

Yoga instructor Tulasi Krishna devi dasi

Phone for more details: 07-863-3108
East Meets West @ "The Loft"
Enjoy an enlightening time associating with energetic devotees. Explore the similarities of ancient and modern surroundings through Krishna consciousness in a friendly non-threatening atmosphere.

Auckland Loft

Wellington Loft

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Hanuman dasa:

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Religious Organisations
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Shelter - the KC Rock-band
Shelter for the New Age - Music Pundits Pronouce it `Krishnacore'

Official SHELTER Web-page:

. a foundation unshaking .
Hari Unreleased Studio sessions & TV spots: Performed by George Harrison

1.I Wonder Why- great song that wonders why
2.Ballad of Krishna,-stories of Krishna and Madan Mohan
3.You Believe in the Wind- proof that God exists
4.Raga-George & Ravi playing sitar for film "East meets West" in big Sur
June 10,1968
5.Dehra Dun -recorded at Trident Studios during same recording of Radha
Krishna temple single" Hare
Mantra" during March- July 1969
6.Dehra Dun-finalized master lost until now-name of town in India
7.Gopal Krishna-unreleased song based on Krsna mantra. Recorded during same Krsna sessions.
8.Gopal Krishna-shorter version
9.Your true love-run thru with Bob Dylan from his "New Morning "LP. Took place Columbia Studios in New York 1970
9a.George & Ravi Shankar-appeared on David Frost show December 3, 1971.
10.Far East Man
11.Here Comes the Sun
12.Cloud Nine Guitar talk-the story of the Black Gretsch.
13.All Things Must Pass

Available For $15.95 in USA -including mailing
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NEW - Free On-line Hare Krishna Cook-book:

The Institute for Applied Spiritual Technology - Vegetarian Recipes
- Bhakti Tirtha Swami:

2 cups soup stock broth - juice from the veges cooking
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1 1/2 tablespoons ginger root -- minced to paste
1 teaspoon hing
1 teaspoon hot chili paste
4 ounces cellophane noodles
couple a good handfulls of fresh parsley

Soak the cellophane noodles in hot water (hot tap water is ok) for 20 minutes to soften. Drain and set aside. Combine the first 5 ingredients to make the sauce. Set aside.

Heat the vegetable oil in a non-stick pan over medium-high heat. Add the ginger, hing and chili paste. Stir and fry for about 10 seconds, until fragrant. Add the sauce mixture and the cellophane noodles. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low.
Simmer until almost all of the liquid has evaporated.
Serve immediately, sprinkled with the minced parsley greens.
Serves: 6
While some savor the powerful flavor of the classic basil and walnut or pine nut pesto, others find it overpowering. I like to think of this pesto as a mellower alternative.

24 small new potatoes, scrubbed
1 cup firmly packed fresh parsley leaves
1/4 cup toasted almonds
1 tsp hing
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
Juice of 1/2 lemon
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Cook or microwave the new potatoes until tender but firm. Let cool to room temperature, then cut in half.

Place the remaining ingredients in the container of a food processor.

Process until ground to a coarse, paste-like texture, adding 1 to 2 tablespoons of water to loosen the mixture. Toss at once with the potatoes. Serve warm or at room temperature.
Fresh Tomato and Basil Tarts
Serves 4
Preparation Time 10 to 30 mins
Cooking Time 10 to 30 mins

250g/9oz homemade puff pastry or butter-rich ready made pastry, thawed if frozen
500g/1lb 2oz large ripe tomatoes
8 large fresh basil leaves, shredded
90ml/3fl oz olive oil
15ml/1tbsp balsamic vinegar
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Roll out the pastry on a lightly floured board to the thickness of a £1 (NZ $2.) coin. Cut out 4 x 10cm/4" rounds and place on a heavy metal baking sheet. Prick each round several times and chill for 20 minutes.
Heat the oven to 220C/425F/Gas 7. Place another metal sheet on top of the pastry rounds and bake for 5 minutes. Turn the rounds over and bake for another 5-7 minutes until crisp and golden.
Remove the pastry and two sheets and discard the top one.
Reduce the oven to 190C/375F/Gas.
Dip the tomatoes for a few seconds in boiling water then skin. Slice thinly into rounds. Arrange the tomato slices on each pastry round, building them up in the center. Remember they shrink on cooking so use them all.

Season and sprinkle over half the basil. Drizzle with half the oil. Return the tarts to the oven and bake for about 7 minutes, glazing again with more oil.
Finally, when the tomatoes are softened, remove and drizzle with the last of the oil, all the vinegar and scatter over the last of the basil.
Cool on a tray a few moments before sliding onto four serving plates.

Serve warm or at room temperature.
6 servings

This salad makes a delicious contribution to a buffet of room-temperature
dishes for company.

5 to 6 medium-large red-skinned potatoes, scrubbed
10 to 12 ounces fresh green beans (or substitute one 10-ounce package frozen cut green beans, thawed)
1/2 cup chopped pitted black olives, preferably cured
4 ounces feta or crumbled goat cheese (such as Montrachet)
1/2 cup natural low-fat vinaigrette, preferably balsamic vinaigrette
Freshly ground pepper to taste

1. Bake or microwave the potatoes until done but still firm. When cool enough to handle, but warm, cut into large dice.

2. If using fresh green beans, trim them and cut them in half crosswise. Steam the fresh or frozen green beans with a little water in a covered saucepan, or in a covered container in the microwave, until tender-crisp, about 5 minutes. Refresh under cool water until just warm, then drain thoroughly.

3. Combine the potatoes and green beans in a serving container with the remaining ingredients and toss well. This is best served just warm or at room temperature.
2 cups sugar
4 Tbsp. cocoa (or Carob)
1 stick of butter
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup peanut butter
2 1/2 cups rolled oats

Bring first 4 ingredients to a rolling boil for exactly 1 1/2 minutes.
Remove from heat and add other ingredients.
Quickly spread on either waxed paper or greased cookie sheet.
Allow to cool and then cut into squares.

My grandmother gave me this delicious recipe a long time ago.

Fruit Crumble With Lemon Mascarpone Cream
( Mascarpone Cheese )

450g/1lb any fruit and berries
15ml/2 tbsp Balsamic vinegar
75g/3oz sugar plus 3 tbsp
225g/8oz plain flour
100g/4oz butter
pinch salt

For the lemon mascarpone
250g/9oz tub mascarpone
about 1 tbsp icing sugar
grated zest from an unwaxed lemon

Put the fruits into a bowl with the balsamic vinegar and the three tablespoons of sugar, toss over and allow it to marinate.
Put the flour, remaining sugar, butter and salt into a food processor and blitz until it resembles fine breadcrumbs. You can also do this by hand, just run the mixture between your fingers. Don't work the mixture too much or it will turn into pastry. Preheat the oven to 200C/380F/Gas 5/Fan oven 180C.
Put the fruit into a shallow 1.25 litre / 2½ pint ovenproof dish. Sprinkle the crumb mix over the fruit. Give the dish a bit of a shake and bake in the oven for about 30 minutes or until the top is evenly golden.
Meanwhile make the lemon mascarpone: mix the mascarpone in a bowl to soften slightly then add icing sugar and lemon zest, have a taste and add extra sugar if you think it needs it.
Serve with the crumble.
Pineapple Pudding
2 large packages vanilla pudding
2 - 12 oz. containers sour cream
2 - 20 oz. cans crushed pineapple, reserve 2 cups juice
2 cups milk

Add the 2 cups of pineapple juice to the other ingredients, mix well
together and chill for several hours. The recipe can be served as a topping
for fresh fruit or all by itself.

The Skinny: Use sugar free pudding, low fat sour cream and low fat milk.

OVER 100 EGGLESS CAKE recipes can be found on our Main index and
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Everything you want to know about Vegetarianism and Beyond:

...and always with the Magic ingredient - Offer it to Krishna.....
...with L'n D (love and devotion)

Check out heaps of information on Vegetarianism, Prasadam-ism,
download books, Vegetarian Recipe programs, and more.


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It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a season's worth of footballs.
support Cow Protection:


"You Mean That's in the Bible" - expose on meat eating:

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Thought of the day:

I think our number one problem in the world today is that nobody wants to take responsibility for anything anymore, but don't quote me.
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.

However, the boy is very short and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.

He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"

To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
Latest news reports advise that a cell of five terrorists has been operating in the "Harlem area" of South Auckland.

Police advised earlier today that four of the five have already been detained. The Otara Regional Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists: Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin, Bin Fightin and Bin Pimpin have already been arrested on immigration issues.

The police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fifth cell member: Bin Workin, in the area. Police are however, confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be extremely easy to spot in the community.

Preparing my son for his first day of kindergarten, we were reviewing numbers and counting. Suddenly, he asked, "What is the biggest number in the world?"

As briefly as possible, I tried to explain the concept of infinity. I thought I had done pretty well, but then he said, "Dad, what number comes just before infinity?"

from Ishy

Jaspreet Singh came back from a safari in Africa. Upon arrival, he went to his friend Makara, and told him of his adventures. "I was out in the jungle," he said, "when all of a sudden I heard a noise in the bush behind me. Looking back, I saw a huge lion, licking his chops, and smiling at me. The lion started coming my way and I started running, with the lion not far behind. When the lion was almost at my neck, he suddenly slipped, and I got ahead a bit. The lion started gaining on me, and as he got closer, once again he slipped. I happened to see a house not far away, and made towards it. As I got close to the house, the lion was almost on top of me, when he slipped for a third time. With the very last bit of strength, I ran into the house and closed the door in the lion's face."

"That's some story there, baba, if it were me I would have messed my pants." said Makara.

To which Jaspreet Singh said, "Well, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE LION KEPT SLIPPING ON...???"
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a shop.

The shopkeeper says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
At age 83, Granddad was admitted to the hospital for the first time.

"What is this?" he asked, as he held up the bell cord they had fastened to his pillow.
"That's the bell, Granddad," I replied.

He pulled it several times, then remarked, "I don't hear it ringing."

"Oh, it doesn't ring," I explained. "It turns on a light in the hall for the nurse."

"Well!" he replied indignantly, "if the nurse wants a light on in the hall, she can turn it on herself."
True story:

Although I'm not usually a nervous passenger, I became very frightened on a small commuter plane. A storm raged with sheets of rain and gale-force winds. Our first takeoff attempt was aborted because of engine trouble. We taxied back to the hangar, changed planes and then sat on the runway awaiting takeoff clearance.

I remembered learning in psychology class that one method for decreasing stress and anxiety is to engage in conversations, so I turned to the man sitting next to me. "What do you do for a living?" I asked.

"I'm an undertaker," he replied.

from Marsha
Make God laugh - plan for the future.
A small boy was talking to a gurukuli friend of his who said, "Where's God?"

"....dunno, teachers say He's inside of us!!!"

The young boy retorts, "If God is inside us, then I hope He likes Spicey Noodles, cause that's what he's getting tonight".

=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=- Did you ever wonder? =-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
...if a gardener who moved back to his home town rediscovered his roots?
How are devotees like fundermental rulers of Afghanistan.

They both support the Tele-ban. [~]
Want a taste of religion?

Bite a minister...
What do you get when you mix Holy Water and Prune Juice?

A Religious Movement
Sects, sects, sects. Is that all you monks ever think about?
Lord Balaram's Big Black Bellowing Buffalo

By Vipramukhya Swami and Kalki dasa

Lord Balaram's big, black, bellowing buffalo bit billions of bags of bitter berries, but barely any of the billions of bags of bitter berries bit by Lord Balaram's big, black, bellowing buffalo became burried in his belly because he barfed all the billions of bags of bitter berries that he bit into a big black bin behind the beautiful brown barn in Brindaban.

Bet you can't say it really fast. In fact, I bet you can't say it at all!

Yours in the service of Srila Prabhupada,
Vipramukhya Swami© CHAKRA 27-June-2000
>(|)<>( The ways of this material world - strange but true )<>(|)

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.

Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
The mother of three unruly young trouble-makers was asked whether or not she'd have children if she could do it all over again.

"Sure," she replied, "...........just not the same ones."
Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: What does osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!
Okay I admit it - I married my wife for her looks,

.............but not the kind she gives me these days.
I am reading the most interesting book about anti-gravity.

Yeah, I just can't put it down.
This is a little known tale of how GOD came to give us the commandments.
GOD first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment.
"What's a commandment," they asked.
"Well, it's like, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY," replied GOD.
The Egyptians thought about it and then said, "No way, that would ruin our weekends."
So then GOD went to the Asyrians and asked them if they would like a commandment. They also asked, "what's a commandment,"
"Well," said GOD, "it's like, THOU SHALT NOT STEAL." The Asyrians immediately replied, "That would ruin our economy, no way."
So finally GOD went to the Jews and asked them if they wanted a commandment. They asked, "how much?"
GOD said "They are free."
The Jews said "Great! We will take TEN"

from Dorothy

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like -- night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

DIAPER spelled backward is REPAID.

Think about it.
Wise Advice from Kids
Never trust a dog to watch your food.
- Patrick, age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
- Michael, 14

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Michael, 14

Stay away from prunes.
- Randy, 9

when out playing never pass water on an electric fence.
- Robert, 13

Don't squat with your spurs on.
- Noronha, 13

Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
- Emily, 10

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- Taylia, 11

Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
- Traci, 14

Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're eating crackers.
- Mitchell, 12

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
- Andrew, 9

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, 9

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Armir, 9

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
- Kellie, 11

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
- Naomi, 15

Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
- Lauren, 9

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
- Joel, 10

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
- Alyesha, 13

Never try to baptize a cat.
- Eileen, 8
Hemorrhoids-sufferer uses toothbrush for relief, gets it stuck

Story filed: 00:51 Saturday 14th July 2001

A pensioner had to have a toothbrush surgically removed from his backside after he used it to scratch his hemorrhoids.

The unnamed 69-year-old was ordered into hospital by his GP where an X-ray revealed it was deep inside near his pelvis.

Doctors removed it with using forceps but say it is the first recorded case of a toothbrush having to be removed from a rectum.

However the British Dental Journal reports doctors have recovered toothbrush holders, toothbrush packages and toothpicks in the past.

The British Dental Association's Dr Jacinta Yeo told Ananova: "This is a surprising use for a toothbrush and we would recommend that people use toothbrushes in the way they are intended."

Everything has a place, and everything in its place.
You might like to check out Krishna-conscious jokes -

Also check out the Humour section of the Main Index:
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