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----------------------< ISKCON ki jaya >-----------------------

_0/\,

Please Accept My Respectful Obeisances & Best Wishes To All

_0____, All Glories To Srila Prabhupad.

\o/
(_)
/ \ All Glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

Welcome to this latest edition of the HKSRNewsletter, and our humble attempt to do some service. This newsletter now goes out to way over 1525 receivers. I trust that all is well with everyone by the Mercy of the Lord. However, if anyone would like to be removed please just send me a message requesting me to do so, and I will do it promptly. If you are receiving this from a friend, and would like to be added directly to the mailout please also let me know and I will do the needful there too. Hare Krishna. =>B-) JTCd
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)<>(|)<>(|)<>( The Nectar in this Issue: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)
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IN THIS ISSUE:

WWW - news and views: Calendar Updates & Events.

Purushottam Adika mase
Padmanabha masa of Chaturmasya resumes after the Adika mase
Padmini Ekadasi
Parama Ekadasi
Vijaydasami - Victory for Lord Rama over Ravana
Sripad Madhwacharya (Ananda Tirtha) - Avirbhav
Pasankusha Ekadasi
Srila Raghunatha dasa Goswami - Tirubhav
Srila Raghunath Bhatta Goswami - Tirubhav
Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraj Goswami - Tirubhav
Sri Krishna Saradiya Rasayatra
Srila Murari Gupta - Tirubhav
Laxmi Puja
Chaturmasya - Fourth month fasting from Urid dahl

See the events on Interactive Calendar site for details:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar2001-2002.htm

Words of Wisdom - Shastra & Shastrakaras speak:
(Srila Prabhupad & the previous Acharyas)

Advertisements - what's on where: check them out...
...Music festival
Deals for members: More amazing deals for everyone.

At Grass Roots: topical stuff

Prasadam Recipes: To slake the thirst of body, mind & soul

Krishna conscious - Vedikly acceptable jokes:
- Ways of the world - Strange but true
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)<>()<>(|)<>( On the WWW News and Views: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)
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Check Out Our Main-index page
Golden Web Award winning site 2001+2002
& Pegasus Gold Award for March 2001.
Best of the Web Award 2001 - Bronze.
Golden Nugget Award - September 2001
Market-tex Design Award Sept 2001
eNetwire "News Worthy" Award Sept 2001
Easier to Navigate - Faster Loading

Lots of NEW links ....HEAPS !!! New Format & Layout ...have a surf !
NZ Hare Krishna Spiritual Resource Network Main Index:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/index.htm

Archana, Articles, Astrology, Audo files, Books, Calendars, Community, Downloads, E-cards, Education, Family, Food For Life, Harenama, Health, InterFaith, Iskcon, Jesus, Krishna, Lofts, Maori, Meditation, New Zealand centres, Prasadam, Questions, 4 Regulative Principles, Self Help, Srila Prabhupada, Temples world-wide, Varnashram Dharm, Vedik Culture, Vegetarianism & Beyond, Weather, X-poses, Yoga,
Youth Forums, Z-free Internet access.......

...and H-E-A-Ps more.

http://www.hknet.org.nz/index.htm

http://welcome.to/hknetworks (this address may or may not work)
So much more to be found there too... HEAPS of New sites/links
updated last on 26th September 2001
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Please go to Webbie world and vote for us:
http://www.webbieworld.com/ww/default.asp

You'll find the NZ Hare Krishna Spiritual Resource Network under Religion.

Go to SEARCH on the Menu bar, enter Hare Krishna into the box, click Go.
When our site comes up please click on Vote.
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The Interactive Vaishnava Calendar page of
Fasts, Festivals, Functions and Feasts.

http://i.am/The-Vaishnava-Calendar
http://www.hknet.org.nz/CalendarWhosWho-page.htm

Now you can view the FULL years 1999-2000 & 2000-2001 & 2001-2002.
All Calendar entries are explained - Appearance or Disappearance
days, festivals, fasts, feasts, etc.

View other festivals on the Calendar:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar2001-2002.htm

Purushottam Adika mase
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar-glossary.htm#Purusottama Adhika Masa
Padmanabha masa of Chaturmasya resumes after the Adika mase

Padmini Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-25.htm

Parama Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-26.htm

Vijaydasami - Victory for Lord Rama over Ravana
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad74.htm

Sripad Madhwacharya (Ananda Tirtha) - Avirbhav
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad53.htm

Pasankusha Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-22.htm

Srila Raghunatha Dasa Goswami - Tirubhav
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad24.htm

Srila Raghunath Bhatta Goswami - Tirubhav
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad22.htm

Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraj Goswami - Tirubhav
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad25.htm

Sri Krishna Saradiya Rasayatra
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad102.htm

Srila Murari Gupta - Tirubhav
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad118.htm

Laxmi Puja
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad120.htm

Chaturmasya - Fourth month fasting from Urid dahl
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar-glossary.htm#Chaturmasya

...and for after these check the Calendar
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Check out the Ekadasi pages with links to every Ekadasi:
(also find out from Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur
Prabhupada what is, and what constitutes a mahadwadasi)
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-page.htm
http://www.hknet.org.nz/dvadasi.htm

Padmini Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-25.htm

Parama Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-26.htm

Pasankusha Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-22.htm

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Download your Vaishnava Calendar and make a hard copy for this
year ( 2001-2002 AD - 515 Gaurabda ) from our site:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar2001-2002.htm

Vaishnava Calendar Program Vcal 4.01 FREE Download:
http://www.iskcon.org/calendar/vcal401.zip

or if you can't do that and you'd like a 2000-2001 Calendar for
your longitude, latitude and time zone ANYWHERE in the world
I can do that for you and e-mail it to you - FREE

Vaishnava Calendar Software 4.01

MAKE YOUR OWN CALENDAR FOR YOUR LOCATION,
no more dodgy calendars/panchangas/panjikas from India

Astrologically/Astronomically Accurate and FREE

Please download the software from:
http://www.iskcon.org/calendar/vcal401.zip

mailto:jtcd@xtra.co.nz
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Newsletters:
Do you get the Hare Krishna Newsletter from Auckland?
If not send a message to Mother Madri to add yourself to their list:
mailto:madri@pamho.net
mailto:harekrishnanews_auck-owner@yahoogroups.com

Christchurch Temple Times:
mailto:nitail@zfree.co.nz

Wellington Temple Newsletter:
mailto:prasadj@maf.govt.nz

Visit Your Local Hare Krishna Temple
See a full NZ list of contacts HERE under Communities:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/index.htm
http://www.hknet.org.nz/NZKiwi-yatra.html
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(|)<>( Words of Wisdom - Shastra & Shastrakaras speak: )<>(|)
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For Books and shastra downloads see Main Index, under Books:
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Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya
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On-line Bhagavad Gita As It Is:
http://www.prabhupada.com/bg/versus.cgi?ix
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On-line 1972 McMillan edition - Bhagavad Gita As It Is:
http://www.asitis.com/
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Bhagavad Gita As It Is Interactive On-line:
http://www.krsna.com/gita/
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The NEW BBT Interactive Bhagavad-Gita As It Is CD-ROM:
http://www.gitacd.com
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The A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada Network:
http://www.acbspn.com/
Listen to, or Download Srila Prabhupada's lectures on-line.
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NEW PRABHUPADA PHOTO SITE
http://photos.groups.yahoo.com/group/vaisnava_synod/lst
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The Krsna Book on-line:
http://krsnabook.com/

Srimad Bhagavatam on-line:
http://www.srimadbhagavatam.org/
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Now there is a 24-hour Internet radio station where the you can hear the
Bhagavad-Gita : http://www.live365.com/stations/250572 .

and at:

Bhagavad Gita is now available for listening as well as reading over Internet.
A 24 hour Internet Broadcast is also going on.
http://www.harekrishna.asn.au/speakers/gitamrta/gitamrta.htm
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Sacred Texts From Shastra - Rg Ved, Yajur Ved, Sam Ved, Arthava Ved, etc:
http://sacred-texts.com/hin/
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eGroups DAILY DIGEST: Vediculture covering all manner of topics:
http://www.eGroups.com/list/vediculture/

View the full archives, subscribe/unsubscribe, use the
group calendar at http://www.eGroups.com/list/vediculture
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Srimad Bhagavad Gita AS IT IS
Chapter 18 TEXT 67

idam te natapaskaya
nabhaktaya kadacana
na casusrusave vacyam
na ca mam yo 'bhyasuyati

WORD FOR WORD
idam--this; te--by you; na--never; atapaskaya--to one who is not austere; na--never; abhaktaya--to one who is not a devotee; kadacana--at any time; na--never; ca--also; asusrusave--to one who is not engaged in devotional service; vacyam--to be spoken; na--never; ca--also; mam--toward Me; yah--anyone who; abhyasuyati--is envious.

TRANSLATION
This confidential knowledge may never be explained to those who are not austere, or devoted, or engaged in devotional service, nor to one who is envious of Me.

PURPORT by HDG Srila A.C. Bjaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada:
Persons who have not undergone the austerities of the religious process, who have never attempted devotional service in Krsna consciousness, who have not tended a pure devotee, and especially those who are conscious of Krsna only as a historical personality or who are envious of the greatness of Krsna should not be told this most confidential part of knowledge. It is, however, sometimes found that even demoniac persons who are envious of Krsna, worshiping Krsna in a different way, take to the profession of explaining Bhagavad-gita in a different way to make business, but anyone who desires actually to understand Krsna must avoid such commentaries on Bhagavad-gita. Actually the purpose of Bhagavad-gita is not understandable to those who are sensuous. Even if one is not sensuous but is strictly following the disciplines enjoined in the Vedic scripture, if he is not a devotee he also cannot understand Krsna. And even when one poses himself as a devotee of Krsna but is not engaged in Krsna conscious activities, he also cannot understand Krsna. There are many persons who envy Krsna because He has explained in Bhagavad-gita that He is the Supreme and that nothing is above Him or equal to Him. There are many persons who are envious of Krsna. Such persons should not be told of Bhagavad-gita, for they cannot understand. There is no possibility of faithless persons' understanding Bhagavad-gita and Krsna. Without understanding Krsna from the authority of a pure devotee, one should not try to comment upon Bhagavad-gita

Bhagavad Gita As It Is

Copyright 1983 The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International. Used with permission.

Archive: http://www.cs.rice.edu/~vivek/btg/archive/
Home Page: http://www.cs.rice.edu/~vivek/btg/

Join Bhagavad Gita eGroups HERE
mailto:bhagavad_gita-owner@egroups.com
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Please read the Bhaja Govindam Text at
http://csgrad.cs.vt.edu/~sraghava/bhaja_govindam.htm

Srihari Dasan
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Biography of Chankhya Pandit on-line: http://www.freeindia.org/biographies/greatpersonalities/chanakya/index.htm

Chanakhya Niti Shastra on-line:
http://www.indiadivine.com/chanakya-niti-shastra.htm
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Of one heart and mind I make you, devoid of hate. Love one another as a cow loves the calf she has borne. Let the son be courteous to his father, of one mind with his mother. Let the wife speak words that are gentle and sweet to her husband.

Atharva Veda Samhita 3.30.1
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In village or forest, in all the places where man meets man, in market or forum, may we always say that which is pleasing to you!

Atharva Veda 12.1.56
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Taking as a bow the great weapon of the Upanishad, one should put upon it an arrow sharpened by meditation. Stretching it with a thought directed to the essence of That, penetrate that Imperishable as the mark, my friend. Seeking solutions in That Absolute.

Atharva Veda, Mundaka Upanishads 2.2.3.
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"We want to be happy in the material world, but this will never be possible; we shall simply increase the blazing fire of desires. Our desires cannot be satisfied by illusory thoughts and plans; rather, we have to follow the instructions of Lord Krsna: sarva-dharman parityajya mam ekam saranam vraja. Then we shall be happy. Otherwise, in the name of happiness, we shall continue to suffer miserable conditions." (Srimad Bhagavatam. 7.9.25)
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"When the devotees of Lord Krishna dance, their steps crush the inauspiciousness of the earth, their glances destroy the inauspiciousness of the ten directions, and their raised arms push away the inauspiciousness of the demigod planets."
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Please chant:

hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare
hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare

.......and your life will become sublime.

http://www.hknet.org.nz/harernam-page.htm
http://Harinam/rulestheweb.com
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"Hinduism" is the ONLY major religion that has not grown by forcing itself upon others through negative destruction of indigenous cultures of the world.

The broad umbrella of "Hinduism" has over one billion adherents worldwide, and is the third-largest religion after Christianity (1.9 billion) and Islam (1.2 billion). But NOTE that both of the latter went on a rampage over previous centuries to destroy other cultures and religions and have "theirs" as the only true faith.

Love cannot be forced, such forcing is obviously rape.

Our understanding that we are not these changing bodies allows peoples of all faiths to embrace the Eternal Absolute Truth through Sanantan Dharma, the Eternal Religion.

Revealing and uncovering the Truths, covered by previous motivated regeims see our InterFaith page , Vedik culture page and their links.

.....anyone can do it, just add the chanting of the Lord's Holy Name.
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adau sraddha tatah sadhu sanga'tha bhajana-kriya,
tato 'nartha nivritti syat tato nistha rucis tatah,
athasaktis tato bhavas tatah premabhyudancati
sadhakam ayam pemnah pradurbhave bhavet kramah

"In the beginning there must be faith. Then one becomes interested in associating with pure devotees. Thereafter one is initiated by the spiritual master and executes the regulative principles under his orders. Thus one is freed from all unwanted habits and becomes firmly fixed in devotional service. Thereafter, one develops taste and attachment. This is the way of sadhana-bhakti, the execution of devotional service according to the regulative principles. Gradually emotions intensify, and finally there is an awakening of love. This is the gradual development of love of Godhead for the devotee interested in Krsna consciousness." (Sri Chaitanya Charitamrita. Madhya-lila 23:16)
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Hare Krishna Audio Library
- Class of the Week

Abominable Nonsense - Don't Call it Religion

Given by:
His Divine Grace A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada - June 11th, 1969 - New Vrindavana

Listen to it HERE on-line.

http://www.harekrishna.org.au/weekly.htm
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Viewing Recent World Events - Please Separate FACTS from speculations and hearsay, emotion from solution.

Take the facts and select - important truths - unimportant, or possible mistakes.

See our pramanas (Truth) pages http://www.hknet.org.nz/pramanam-page.htm to help with how to discriminate facts from speculations.

Condolences to those who have suffered, or are suffering - we hope to help minimise further suffering.

Misconceptions of identity create many clashes in this world, by knowledge of who we are, our true nature as spiritual beings, our real spiritual abode, and that we are in that way "spiritual brothers and sisters" of the One common Father can overcome inappropriate acts toward one another.

Not ALL those having a brown body is a terrorist, like not ALL those with whitish bodies are neo-Nazis.

It is common knowledge that this is the Age of Kali - the age of quarrel and hypocrisy, we needn't add to it further. The Peace Formula for Spiritual Solutions to such Material Problems is given here.

Whatever our situation chant hare krishna and our life/lives will be sublime

Download the Flyer "Stop hate" http://www.hknet.org.nz/stophate.html

You may also find the article by HH Bhakti Ananda Goswami ACBSP interesting "New York and the World Resolve to End Terrorism"

Message from the Dalai Lama urging us to be again God conscious !!!
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"The principal sign of the age of Kali is that lower-caste sudras, i.e., men without brahminical culture and spiritual initiation, will be dressed like administrators or kings, and the principal business of such non-ksatriya rulers will be to kill the innocent animals, especially the cows and the bulls, who shall be unprotected by their masters, the bona fide vaisyas, the mercantile community." (Srimad Bhagavatam. 1.17.1)

Go-dhuli-sandhya:

go-dhUli-dhUsarita-komala-gopa-veza
gopAla-bAlaka-zatair anugamyamAnam
sAyantane prati-gRhaM pazu-bandhanArthaM
gacchantam acyuta-zizuM praNato 'smi nityam

"I eternally prostrate myself before the Infallible Lord, who comes in the guise of an ordinary cowherd child. His soft, tender limbs are covered in the dust upraised by the hooves of His herds of cows. He is accompanied by hundreds of cowherd boys as He returns every evening to each house in Braj, to tether the cows into their sheds."

See our Cow Protection pages: http://www.hknet.org.nz/Cow-protection.htm
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"The story of the Concrete"

Once, in a class of management students there was a very involving discussion on the subject of "Social bonding and the strength of a society".

The opinion was clearly divided. A group of students was all for a society of achievers, while the other was favouring a society with care and space for all.

The professor asked the students to elaborate on their stands. One group said that it is the concept of survival of the fittest. Only achievers can compete and excel in all fields , giving rise to a strong society. Non-achievers in fact weaken the society , hence have no place in a strong society.

The other group suggested that a society could not be strong & healthy unless all its constituents are provided with equal opportunities and resources are shared amongst them in equitable manner. As per this group disproportionate resources and status realities weaken the society.

After a while, when the class could not arrive at any consensus, the professor interrupted and said " My dear young friends , let me tell you a story which may help you understand as to what factors are most important for a strong and integrated society."

"Friends, this is the story of Concrete. You all know what is Concrete !"

"Concrete is a mixture of cement and sand. It is used in construction of all civil structures. Some of the tallest and strongest of all time great buildings, monuments, sky scrappers, roads, Dams and bridges are in place only on the strength of the "Concrete".

"But what is the story of concrete ?" asked a boy who was getting anxious to know the story.
"Friends, Concrete is by far the strongest man made material that is the force behind the infrastructure required for growth & development of the mankind."

"Let's have a look ! What is this Concrete stuff made up of and how is it prepared."

"Well, One would immediately notice a grey mass of small "Pebbles" of all shapes and sizes, which are held together."

"Just take a close look and they appear to be packed to the limit, with no scope for further compression, isn't it !"

" Yes, they are held close to each other, but they leave sufficient space around them to accommodate the "Gravel".

"Watch the "Gravel" which are also closely held together as if nothing could pass through them. But when coming together to form a tightly held mass in Concrete, these "Gravel" also leave enough space between them to easily accommodate the "Sand Grains".

"Friends, "Sand Grains" come together to fill up the space left by other constituents, but are courteous enough to leave space around them to accommodate the "Cement Particles".

Well, "Cement Particles" too make a homogenous mass that actually binds all other constituents. They really can not afford to be loose. However, these "Cement Particles" also in a display of their magnanimity, leave enough room between them to allow "Water Molecules" have a free flow within the structure.

"Water Molecules" made of ions, quickly cover whatever space is left by others, but still are obliged to leave enough space for the "Air particles" to move in"

"Friends, this is the story of "Concrete" where although there is nothing equal, common or same amongst the constituents, they are gracious enough to provide the required space to one another and accommodate each other."

"This probably is the secret behind the strength of the "Concrete". The constituents seem to derive strength from each other, just by providing space to each other."

There was a pin drop silence in the classroom as the professor concluded. Every one was listening to the story with rapt attention. Suddenly the whole classroom was filled with sound of applause. Every one in the room was on his feet with expression of appreciation on their face as if giving a standing ovation to the "Concrete" structure around them.

The discussion was over. The concept was well understood. Consensus had blossomed like a newly born flower. They had discovered a lot of space for each other and certainly, there was no room for a dispute on the subject.

An article by : Nitin Kulkarni

PURPORT:
Now think of Krishna consciousness - bhakti in relation to that binding cement. With it, all material things can be intergrated and utilised to bond the material world we live in with spiritual service to the Lord. Without it, we still have all manner of material elements - bahyopadhi, and there's still the spiritual realm - swarupopadhi, but the bond is lacking.

As Srila Prabhupad so nicely puts it;

anarthopashamam säkshäd
bhakti-yogam adhokshaje
lokasyäjänato vidvämsh
chakre sätvata-samhitäm

“The material miseries of the living entity, which are superfluous to him, can be directly mitigated by the linking process of devotional service. But the mass of people do not know this, and therefore the learned Vyäsadeva compiled this Vedic literature, which is in relation to the Supreme Truth.” (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Srimad Bhagavatam 4:29:36-37 purport.)

"We have various senses—the powers of seeing, tasting, smelling, touching, etc.—and all the propensities of our senses can be satisfied when the senses are engaged in the service of the Lord. Hrishikena hrishikesha-sevanam bhaktir ucyate: 'Bhakti means engaging all the senses in the service of the master of the senses, Hrishikesha.' (Närada-pancharätra) These material senses, however, cannot be engaged in the service of the Lord; therefore one has to become free from all designations. Sarvopädhi-vinirmuktam tatparatvena nirmalam [Cc. Madhya 19.170]. " (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Srimad Bhagavatam 4:24:44 purport.)

As stated in the Närada-pancharätra, sarvopädhi-vinirmuktam tatparatvena nirmalam: [Cc. Madhya 19.170] when the mind and senses are purified, one’s total existence is purified, and one’s designations are also purified. One no longer considers himself a human being, a demigod, cat, dog, Hindu, Muslim and so forth. When the senses and mind are purified and one is fully engaged in Krishna’s service, one can be liberated and return home, back to Godhead. (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Srimad Bhagavatam 5:11:7 purport.)

“One should be free from all material designations and cleansed of all material contamination. He should be restored to his pure identity, in which he engages his senses in the service of the proprietor of the senses. That is called devotional service.” [Chaitanya charitamrita. Madhya 19.170]

"The Krishna consciousness movement is a movement of bhakti-yoga. Vairägya-vidyä-nija-bhakti-yoga [Chaitanya charitamrita. Madhya 6.254]. By following the principles of this movement, one becomes disassociated from material mental concoctions and is established on the original platform of the eternal relationship between the living entity and the Supreme Personality of Godhead as servant and master." (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Srimad Bhagavatam 10:1:43 purport.)

...and that's concrete

See similar analogies etc at our Parables page:
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"According to the opinion of the acaryas, the word krama-yogopalabdhena indicates that by first performing karma-yoga and then jnana-yoga and finally coming to the platform of bhakti-yoga, one can be liberated. Bhakti-yoga, however, is so powerful that it does not depend on karma-yoga or jnana-yoga. Bhakti-yoga itself is so powerful that even an impious man with no assets in karma-yoga or an illiterate with no assets in jnana-yoga can undoubtedly be elevated to the spiritual world if he simply adheres to bhakti-yoga. Mam evaisyasy asamsayah. Krsna says in Bhagavad-gita (8.7) that by the process of bhakti-yoga one undoubtedly goes back to Godhead, back home to the spiritual world." (ACBSP. Srimad Bhagavatam. 6.1.1. purport)
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"An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind."

- Mahatma Gandhi
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Aparaaadha-sahasra-bhaajanam
patitam bhiima-bhavaarnav'odare;
agatim saran'aagatam hare!
krpayaa kevalam aatmasaat kuru.

"Oh SrI Hari! pray, make me your own out of sheer grace - me, who has fallen into the depths of the terrible ocean of worldly existence, and who, being resortless, have sought refuge at your feet."

amaryAdha: Kshudra: chalamadhi: asUyAprasavabhU:
kruthagnO dhurmAni smara paravasO vanchanapara:
nrusamsa: pApishta: kathamahamithO dukkajaladhE :
apArAth uttheerNa: tava paricharEyam charanayO :

Word for word:
amaryAdha: - one who has crossed the bounds of established rules
Kshudra: - engaging in trivial /worldly /material/sensual pursuits
chalamadhi:- never steady; (chanchalam), fickle mind
asUyA prasava bhU : Place where jealousy is born
kruthagana: Ungrateful one
dhurmAnee:- ill feelings towards fellow human beings;
smara paravasa : Fallen into the gamut of desires and sensual impluses
vanchanapara: skillfully deceiving others (as in cheating others )
nrusamsa: - engaging in violent acts
paapishta: incorrigible sinner - mahA paapi

As a purport to this the Sri Vaishnava Acharya Swamy Desikan says - ahamasmi aparAdha chakravartthi. (this is also meant for us).

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" As far as Luna's surface is concerned, 30 years after Apollo, when we investigate alternate analyses on those supposed landings, what do we find? We find obvious incongruencies, such as pictures of the LEM rocket engine sitting a meter above the Lunar soil, with no disturance underneath from its blast. We see Apollo photos of diverging shadows on the surface of the Moon, photos showing glare, including atmospheric glare on the horizon, and so much more."

See similar articles re Moon landing hoax http://wwwhknet.org.nz/MoonLandingHoax.htm
---------------------------------------------------------------
Topical Articles:

Genetic Engineering - http://www.hknet.org.nz/GE.html
Environment - http://www.hknet.org.nz/Environment.htm
Cloning - http://www.hknet.org.nz/cloning.htm
Science - http://www.hknet.org.nz/science2KC.html
Cow Protection - http://www.hknet.org.nz/Cow-protection.htm
The Four Regulative Principles of Freedom - http://www.hknet.org.nz/Regs-4page.htm
seX-files - http://www.hknet.org.nz/seX-files.htm
Mundane Knowledge - http://www.hknet.org.nz/mundaneknowledge.html
Death - http://www.hknet.org.nz/death.html
Near Death Experience - http://www.hknet.org.nz/NDE.htm
Ghosts - http://www.hknet.org.nz/ghosts.htm

.........many other articles - http://www.hknet.org.nz/index-articles.htm
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New York Museum to Open Hindu Religion Exhibit

Source: http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20010905/en/art-hindu_1.html

NEW YORK, USA, Sept. 5, 2001: New York's American Museum of Natural History
will open a new exhibit this week on the rituals, festivals and objects of
the Hindu religion, museum officials said. The exhibit, which runs from
Saturday through February 24, 2002, is called "Meeting God: Elements of
Hindu Devotion" and includes a photo exhibit (of Stephen Huyler), video
portraits and a wide range of South Asian devotional objects from the
museum's collection. "This exhibit is part of a long and rich tradition at
the museum of presenting exhibitions that celebrate the world's cultures,"
said Craig Morris, dean of science at the museum. The Hindu community of the
New York area also pitched in to the exhibit with the donation of religious
objects as well as allowing video crews to film various rituals of the
religion as it is practiced in the United States.

Courtesy of http://www.HinduismToday.com/
---------------------------------------------------------------
"The real mission of life for the conditioned soul is to reestablish the forgotten relationship with the Supreme Personality of Godhead and engage in devotional service so that he may revive Krsna consciousness after giving up the body. One doesn't have to give up his occupation as a brahmana, ksatriya, vaisya, sudra or whatever. In any position, while discharging his prescribed duty, one can develop Krsna consciousness simply by associating with devotees who are representatives of Krsna and who can teach this science. Regretfully, the big politicians and leaders in the material world simply create enmity and are not interested in spiritual advancement. Material advancement may be very pleasing to an ordinary man, but ultimately he is defeated because he identifies himself with the material body and considers everything related to it to be his property. This is ignorance. Actually nothing belongs to him, not even the body. By one's karma, one gets a particular body, and if he does not utilize his body to please the Supreme Personality of Godhead, all his activities are frustrated. The real purpose of life is stated in Srimad-Bhagavatam (1:2:13):

atah pumbhir dvija-srestha
varnasrama-vibhagasah
svanusthitasya dharmasya
samsiddhir hari-tosanam

"It really doesn't matter what activity a man engages in. If he can simply satisfy the Supreme Lord, his life is successful." (Srimad Bhagavatam. 5:14:40.)
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)<>(|)<>(|)<>( Deals available for devotees : )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<
¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º
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As new things happen and become available we'll keep y'll informed
about discounts and how to have access to them - what to do.

http://www.hknet.org.nz/index-deals4-devs.htm

This is a totally free service, we have worked hard to organise it
please make good use of it for you development of Krishna Seva.
Again see under Main Index:
---------------------------------------------------------------
Transcendentalize your Cursor:
http://www.cometzone.com

With the option for various Deities to be moving with your cursor; Ganesh, Laxmi, Saraswati, Vishnu, Krishna, and Rama, transcendentalize your system.

Easily changeable and removable
---------------------------------------------------------------
New HKTV show:
show 77.Siberian gulags with Sarva bhavana,Curt Kobain,Kalindi ,Lotus band In this show a survivor of persecution is interviewed. Three Hare Krishna devotees are thrown in prison and only two leave. Sarva speaks of his 2 years in a Siberian prison with temperatures of 50 below zero and injections to make you crazy. He describes the horrors of prison and how they tried to kill the prisoners. A stir fried cauliflower and pea recipe is expertly shown by Kurma the cook. Curt Kobian of nirvana performs a haunting piece and Electric Lotus Band is filmed at an outdoor festival. Kalindi dasi with Kurma the Frog shows the viewers how and why to do mantra meditation.

we are presently working on a NY terrorist show.
your servant behind the camera,
Pandava vijaya dasa

Turn on,Tune in,Go back to Godhead
every Friday 7:00pm or watch on video
648,000 homes receive HKTV
Hare Krishna TV/Dangerous TV
P.O. Box 273402
Houston, Texas 77277-3402 USA
http://www.iskcon.net/hktv

---------------------------------------------------------------
Your Add HERE For FREE
If you have a function, event, festival, something to share or whatever, or need something advertised to the devotees put it here. Help build a stronger infrastructure of devotees.
---------------------------------------------------------------
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)<>(|)<>(|)<>( What's Going On Where & Adds: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(
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CONGRATULATIONS:
Ohu vaha ho
ohu vaha ho
ohu vaha ho (oh how wondrous, oh how wondrous, oh how wondrous)

It gives me great pleasure to announce that Sriman Agni dasa prabhu and his good wife Balaradhya mataji have just received their "Ray of Vishnu". A son was born to them on Sunday 16th September in Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago (yes our newsletter is far reaching)

Both mother and child are healthy and well, and father is ecstatic.

Lord Sri Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita 7:11.

balaM balavataaM chaahaM
kaama-raaga-vivarjitam
dharmaaviruddho bhUteshu
kaamo ’smi bharatarshabha

SYNONYMS
balam—strength; bala-vataam—of the strong; ca—and; aham—I am; kaama—passion; raaga—and attachment; vivarjitam—devoid of; dharma-aviruddhaù—not against religious principles; bhUteshu—in all beings; kaamaH—sex life; asmi—I am; bharata-rishabha—O lord of the Bhaaratas.

TRANSLATION
"I am the strength of the strong, devoid of passion and desire. I am sex life which is not contrary to religious principles, O lord of the Bhaaratas [Arjuna]."

"Kandarpa is the sex desire for presenting good sons; therefore Kandarpa is the representative of Krishna. Sometimes sex is engaged in only for sense gratification; such sex does not represent Krishna. But sex for the generation of good children is called Kandarpa and represents Krishna." (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Bhagavad Gita 10:28 purport.)

Srila Prabhupad on the topic:
"Sucinäm Shrimatäm gehe. So this child is born of a devotee father and devotee mother. Now he’ll again begin from the point where he lost last life. Suppose Krishna consciousness he executed fifty percent. So he’ll begin from this life fifty-one percent. That fifty percent was in his stock. But ordinary karmis—cent percent lost. He has to begin another chapter of life according to his karma." (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 17th July 1971. Lexture in Detroit.)

"There are two kinds of children born of good fathers: one is educated in Krishna consciousness so that he can be delivered from the clutches of mäyä in that very life, and the other is a ray of the Supreme Personality of Godhead and teaches the world the ultimate goal of life." (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 8th August 1976. Srimad Bhagavatam class SB 3:22:19. Tehran, Iran)
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Spiritual Sky Incense & Oils etc.

New Page - check it out, its worth it.

http://www.spiritualskyincense.com

---------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday Love Feasts - contact your local temple, or community for details http://www.hknet.org.nz/index-int.htm
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Harinaam Kirtan and Bhajans in Tauranga BOP.

Every Saturday in the Red Square by the Strand

Come and join the throng 11:00 am - 12:30 pm

...for more details contact Surya Narayan dasa

mailto:suryadas@xtra.co.nz
---------------------------------------------------------------
New - Kiwi Youth Web-page
i
Articles
Links
Meet the Kuli's
News
Picture Gallery(ies)
...and much more.

...pay us a visit, and be part of it

http://www.hknet.org.nz/KiwiYouth.html
mailto:lilaallan@hotmail.com

We welcome your contributions - articles, ideas, links, etc.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Sri Shaligram Tirtha Pradarshini -
...the site for Shaligram, Govardhan, Dwaraka shilas and Their Sevaks

Why not come on in for Cyber-darshan

http://www.hknet.org.nz/Sri-Shaligram-Tirtha.htm

If you'd like to send in an article, picture, story or experience with Shilas please send it to me HERE
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Vegetarian Clubs
Waikato University - Hamilton campus

2 days per week serving about 100 plates each day.

for more information mailto:deva4deva@hotmail.com

Auckland University - Wellesley St. campus

Otago University - Dunedin

Room 2., Clubs & Societies Building
Albany St.,

contact Jambavati dasi (03) 477 8277
mailto:jambavati85@hotmail.com

http://www.hknet.org.nz/HKDunedin-page.htm
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Meet Your Meat
CD-Rom FREE on request

Exposes the fallacy of humane killing in slaughterhouses

Not for the soft hearted, so show it to your meat eating friends

Organised and endorsed by PETA http://www.meatstinks.com/

For Vegetarian Options see our site http://turn.to/Vegetarianism

for your FREE CD-Rom mailto:Chalissa1@aol.com

Order FREE Vegepak or Download a taste of it HERE http://www.meatstinks.com/livevegpak.asp

See more on-line @ http://www.hknet.org.nz/V-meetURmeat.html

bhoktAram yajna-tapasAm suHRdam sarvabhUtAnAm |
sarvaloka maheshvaram jnatvA mAm shantim Rcchati ||

Knowing Me as the Enjoyer of sacrifices, FRIEND OF ALL CREATURES
Lord of all worlds, [the wise one] attains peace.

Last shloka, Chapter 5, Srimad Bhagavad GeetA
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INSECT NOISE IN STORED FOODSTUFFS s/t (Inra) cd 19.98
"Insect Noise In Stored Foodstuffs" appears to be an industrial document produced by the 5th International Working Conference On Stored-Product Protection. This cd presents the sound investigation of the French team of Bunsel and Andrieu who used sensitive microphones with narrow frequency responses made to detect and identify the sounds of insect larvae which may be inhabiting otherwise quiet containers of grains and cereals. A handful of examples of the sounds including the grain weevil, the Indian meal moth, and the Lesser mealworm are accompanied by a running narrative both explaining the techniques used and the identification of the insects. And in case you missed the first 30 minutes of the document, the kind people at the 5th International Working Conference On Stored-Product Protection repeat the program in French. Hey, if that Smithsonian / Folkways "Sounds of North American Frogs" rocked your world, wait til this little gem comes your way!
Source
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East Meets West @ "The Loft"
Enjoy an enlightening time associating with energetic devotees. Explore the similarities of ancient and modern surroundings through Krishna consciousness in a friendly non-threatening atmosphere.

Auckland Loft
http://www.hknet.org.nz/LoftAuck-page.htm

Wellington Loft
http://www.hknet.org.nz/LoftWell-page.htm

mailto:jenny_tippett@yahoo.com

Christchurch Loft
http://www.geocities.com/theloftchch

Hanuman dasa:
mailto:theloft108@hotmail.com
--------------------------------------------------------------
See our marketplace link off the main index:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/index-market.html
--------------------------------------------------------------
Do you have any services or products to advertise here for FREE ?
--------------------------------------------------------------
If you have any news, events, functions, deals, etc., that you
would like to share with members of the greater Vaishnava
community then please do so by sending what you have to us, we
can pass them on in the next newsletter mailto:jtcd@xtra.co.nz
--------------------------------------------------------------
Festivals - Feasting - Kids and spilages - HOW TO CLEAN ANYTHING.COM: http://www.howtocleananything.com/
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)<>(|)<>(|)<>( Prasadam Recipies: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(
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NEW - Free On-line Hare Krishna Cook-book:
http://www.harekrishnatemple.com/cookbook/sefer.cgi

The Indian Recipe Site for Vegetarian Cooking:
http://www.tarladalal.com/new/default.asp

Rajma Cheese Paratha
These spicy kidney bean, cheese stuffed parathas have now become a favourite with my family and friends. On several occasions, we've used this rajma filling to make delicious grilled sandwiches! Take my word for it - this paratha meal tastes terrific!

Cooking Time :  40 mins.
Preparation Time :  15 mins.
Serves/Makes :  Makes 4 Paratha.

Ingredients:
For the dough
1 cup whole wheat flour (gehun ka atta)
1 tablespoon oil
salt to taste
For the rajma filling
1/4 cup red kidney beans (rajma), soaked overnight
2 teaspoons grated ginger
1 tsp hing
1 cup tomatoes, chopped
1/2 teaspoon turmeric powder (haldi)
1 teaspoon chilli powder
2 teaspoons coriander (dhania) powder
¼ cup curds
1 tablespoon chopped coriander
1 tablespoon oil
salt to taste

Other ingredients
2 to 3 spring onions (including greens), finely chopped
4 tablespoons grated cheese
oil for cooking

For serving
tomato corn chutney

For the dough
1. Combine all the ingredients and knead into a soft dough using enough water.
2. Divide the dough into 4 equal portions.
3. Roll out each portion into a 200 mm. (8") diameter circle.
4. Cook each chapati lightly on both sides on a hot tava (griddle) and keep aside.

For the rajma filling
1. Drain the kidney beans, add 2 cups of water and pressure cook for 4 to 5 whistles till the rajma is overcooked.
2. Drain any excess liquid and keep aside.
3. Heat the oil in a pan, add the onions, ginger and garlic and saute till the onions are light brown in colour.
4. Add the tomatoes, turmeric powder, chilli powder, coriander powder and salt and cook till the oil separates.
5. Add the cooked beans and mix well.
6. Add the curds and continue cooking till the mixture is dry.
7. Add the coriander and mix well. Keep aside to cool slightly. Divide into 4 equal portions.

How to proceed
1. Place one chapati on a dry surface and spread one portion of the rajma filling in the centre of the chapati.
2. Sprinkle some spring onions and 1 tablespoon of cheese.
3. Bring in all sides of the chapati towards the centre to enclose the filling and make a square paratha.  4. Seal the edges with a little water.
5. Repeat to make 3 more parathas.
6. Cook on both sides, using a little oil till the parathas are golden brown.
7. Serve hot with tomato corn chutney.

Recipe Source TV Meals by Tarla Dalal (with onion and garlic removed)
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Quick Vegetable Korma
This is a time saving version of the traditional Navratna curry.

Cooking Time :  20 mins.
Preparation Time :  10 mins.
Serves/Makes :  Serves 4.

Ingredients

Main Recipe
1/4 cup cauliflower, cut into small florets
1/4 cup french beans, diced
1 medium carrot, diced
1/4 cup green peas
1 medium capsicum, diced
1/4 cup baby corn, cut into slices
1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds (jeera)
2 cloves
1 stick cinnamon
1 cardamom
1 teaspoon ginger paste
1/2 teaspoon green chilli paste
1 cup milk
1/4 cup paneer (cottage cheese), cut into small pieces
1/4 cup pineapple slices (canned), cut the small pieces
3 tablespoons cream
1/2 teaspoon garam masala
1 tablespoon ghee
salt to taste

For the garnish
1 pineapple slices (canned)
1 tablespoon chopped coriander

Main Procedure
1. Heat the ghee in a kadhai and add the cumin seeds. When the seeds crackle, add the cloves, cinnamon, cardamom, ginger paste, green chilli paste and saute for 5 to 7 minutes while stirring continuously.
2. Add the cauliflower, french beans, carrot, green peas, capsicum, baby corn, salt, 1/2 cup of milk and 1/4 cup of water. Cover and cook over a slow flame till the vegetables are tender.
3. Add the remaining milk, paneer, pineapple, cream and garam masala and cook for another 3 to 4 minutes.
4. Serve hot.

Recipe Source TV Meals by Tarla Dalal
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Tomato Corn Chutney

Cooking Time :  10 mins.
Preparation Time :  5 mins.
Serves/Makes :  Makes1 1/2 cups.

Ingredients

Main Recipe
1 cup finely chopped tomato
1/ 2 cup sweet corn kernels
1/2 teaspoon nigella seeds (kalonji)
4 to 5 curry leaves
1/2 teaspoon grated ginger
1 green chilli, chopped
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1 tablespoon oil
salt to taste

Main Procedure
1. Heat the oil and add the nigella seeds.
2. Add the curry leaves, ginger, green chilli and the corn and saute for sometime till the corn is almost cooked.
3. Add the tomato, sugar and salt and simmer for 2 to 3 minutes.
4. Cool and serve.

Recipe Source TV Meals by Tarla Dalal
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Aloo Ka Bomb
Our very own version of the "Baked Stuffed Potato", fondly named by street
vendors as a "Bomb".
Whole potatoes scooped and stuffed with a chatpata paneer filling and topped with
spicy green chutney and crispy sev.

Cooking Time :  15 mins.
Preparation Time :  10 mins.
Serves/Makes :  Makes 2 bombs.

Ingredients

Main Recipe
2 large  potatoes, boiled and peeled
1 tablespoon butter

For the paneer filling
1/2 cup grated paneer
1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds (jeera)
1/4 teaspoon asafoetida (hing)
1  green chilli, chopped
2 tablespoons chopped coriander
2 tablespoons chopped mint
1/2 teaspoon black salt (sanchal)
1 tablespoon oil
salt to taste

For the topping
sev (wheat vermachelli)
green chutney

For the paneer filling
1. Heat the oil and add the cumin seeds and asafoetida.
2. When the cumin seeds crackle, add the green chilli, paneer, black salt, salt and mix well.
3. Add the coriander and mint and mix well. Keep aside.

How to proceed
1. Cool the potatoes completely. Cut each into 2 equal parts and scoop out the centres leaving an empty shell.
2. Fill in the paneer mixture and sauté the potatoes in butter till they are lightly browned.
3. Place on a serving plate and top with the sev and green chutney.
4. Serve immediately.

Recipe Source Chaat by Tarla Dalal
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Sev Biranj
 Vermicelli cooked in milk and sugar and flavoured with cardamom and saffron.
Cooking Time :   15 mins.
Preparation Time :   5 mins.
Serves/Makes :  Serves 4.

Ingredients
1 cup crushed vermicelli (sevian)
1/4 cup milk
1/2 cup sugar
2 to 3 strands saffron
1/4 teaspoon cardamom powder
3 tablespoons ghee

For the garnish
2 tablespoons slivered pistachios

Method
1. Heat the ghee in a heavy bottomed pan, add the vermicelli and cook on a slow flame for 5 to 7 minutes until the vermicelli is golden brown in colour.
2. Add the milk and 1 cup of water and cook for a further 5 minutes.
3. Add the sugar, saffron, cardamom powder and cook till the sugar has completely dissolved.
4. Garnish with slivered pistachios.
5. Serve hot.

Recipe Source Roz ka Khana by Tarla Dalal
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Kalakand
 An instant version of the traditional dessert.
Cooking Time :   15 mins.
Preparation Time :   10 mins.
Serves/Makes :  Makes about 16 pieces.

Ingredients
3/4 cup paneer, unsalted (milk curds - casien)
8 tablespoons whole milk powder
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup cream
1/2 teaspoon cardamom powder

For the garnish
10  almonds, slivered

Method
1. Combine all the ingredients in a non-stick pan.
2. Cook over a medium flame, stirring continuously for approximately 10 to 15 minutes till the mixture thickens and leaves the sides of the pan.
3. Spread onto a 175 mm. (7") diameter pie dish. Cool and cut into 16 pieces.
4. Garnish with slivered almonds and serve chilled.

Handy Tip(s)
1.Use fresh paneer for best results.

Recipe Source Roz ka Khana by Tarla Dalal
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OVER 100 EGGLESS CAKE recipes can be found on our Main index and
on many other pages at: http://www.hknet.org.nz/great100.zip

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Everything you want to know about Vegetarianism and Beyond:
http://turn.to/Vegetarianism

...and always with the Magic ingredient - Offer it to Krishna.....
...with L'n D (love and devotion)

http://www.hknet.org.nz/How2offer.htm

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Check out heaps of information on Vegetarianism, Prasadam-ism,
download books, Vegetarian Recipe programs, and more.

http://www.hknet.org.nz/Veges-Beyond5page.htm

HERE I'VE COMPILED HUNDREDS OF USEFUL LINKS 4 U:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/vege-links1.htm

NEW - an amazing vegetarian source guide:
http://www.vegsource.org/
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A Beginners Guide to Vegetarianism:
http://people.qualcomm.com/sriharid/info/vegetarianism/veg.html
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How Mary and Frank and Friends Eat - very nice Vegetarian pages:
http://www.all-creatures.org/recipes.html
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Vegetarian recipes:
http://www.vegweb.com

Heaps of Quick Vegetarian Recipies:
http://www.quickneasyrecipes.com/vegetarian/vegetarian.html

Healthy Indian Vegetarian Cooking Recipes:
http://www.vegsource.com/articles/chari_veg_chili.htm

VegeSource Recipes:
http://www.vegsource.com/recipe/

Vegetarian Central - Resource Guide:
http://www.vegsource.com/vegcentral/

Islamic Vegetarian page:
http://www.islamveg.com/recip.html

Planet Veggie.com:
http://www.planetveggie.com/

Vegetarian Cookbook Making Meat Substitutes Taste Great:
http://www.cookingvegetarian.com/vegetariancookbook.htm

“In a Vegetarian Kitchen”
http://www.vegkitchen.com
A bi-monthly newsletter featuring easy recipes, healthy food tips, and seasonal specials (US)

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a season's worth of footballs.
support Cow Protection: http://www.hknet.org.nz/Cow-protection.htm

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR - LET ME KNOW...!
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>()<>(|)<>( Krishna Conscious - Vedikly acceptable Jokes: )<>(|)
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A matter of Faith:

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they are very large mammals, their throats are very small. The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

The teacher reiterated a whale could not swallow a human; it was impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
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Consider, if you will, the case of the awkward bumble-bee who became ill while gathering pollen but continued to work. Unfortunately, he thus infected all the flowers with his virus. The consequences are recorded in the annals of horticulture as . . . the blight of the fumble bee.
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Why can’t two elephants go swimming at the same time?
Because they only have one pair of trunks.

Why don't they let elephants on the beach?
'cos they won't keep their trunks up.
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One Sunday in an Auckland church, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew, but, were losing the battle.
Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
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At the church the preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it free again. Seeing he was in a state, and after several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew from the front leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
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A devotee was at the beach with his children when the four-year old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. The little devotee sand "Pitaji why is that dead seagul there in the sand?"

"He's left his body and gone to Krishna!"

"What does Krishna want with a dead seagull???"

Just then a friend of his son with his father came over who was a Christian and he asked his father:
"Daddy, what happened to the seagull?"

The father replied, "He died and went to Heaven,"

The boy thought a moment and then said, "......Did God throw him back down?"
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A table waiter at Gopal's brings the customer some big curd steaks he'd ordered with his
thumb over the plate pressing the curd steak to the plate.
"Awwwe yuk, are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "....don't bring my meal with your hand on my curd steak."

"What ?" answers the waiter, "You want it all to fall on the floor again?"
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Which Direction?

While marking her pupil's social studies test papers, the teacher was in a quandary about the answer given by one of the third-graders.

Asked to name the four major directions, he wrote: "Listen carefully. Write neatly. Sit up straight. Raise your hand."

(from Profusions of Puns by Stan Kegel)
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This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.) Enjoy!

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. he fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

A thought:
I wonder what's come out of our Gurukuls - E-mail me !!!
=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=- Did you ever wonder? =-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
When Brahma passed out brains,
I thought he said grains, and as it was Ekadasi I said no thanks I'm fasting !!!

But then a devotee reiterated that it was brains,
BUT, I thought he said trains, and it seemed I missed mine.

When Brahma passed out looks,
I thought He said books, and as I alread had a full set and Vedabase, I said I didn't want any.

When Brahma passed out ears,
I thought He said deers, and I asked for two cute ones.

When Brahma passed out legs,
I thought He said Megs, and I asked for the biggest he could give me.

When Brahma passed out noses,
I thought He said roses, and I asked for a big red one - to place at the Lord's feet.

When Brahma passed out heads,
I thought He said beds, and I asked for a big soft one.

When Brahma passed out hips,
I thought He said lips, and I asked for two large round ones.

When Brahma handed out feet,
I though he said a seat, so I asked for a couple of nice flat ones.

...so that's my excuse, what's yours????
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"Some people's minds are like concrete - mixed up and firmly set."

Unknown
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"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."

-- August Strindberg
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People seem very concerned about outer space,
BUT most haven't discovered the INNER SPACE - go there.
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This Kali yuga is the iron age but it seems more to be the plastic age.
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According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
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When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.

~ Marquis de La Grange ~
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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied with a bemused look on her face, "Because people are sleeping."
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Q: What happens if you get a gigabyte?

A: It megahertz.
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>(|)<>( The ways of this material world - strange but true )<>(|)
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A flying saucer landed in a suburban backyard. The family came out to see and stood back awestruck. As lights flashed and motors hummed, the door slowly opened and an alien dressed in a black suit, a big black beard and wearing a yamulka slowly decended the ramp.

"Wh-where are you from?" asked the father nervously.

"From Mars" replied the alien.

"D-d-do all of you look like this?" asked the man.

"No", replied the alien, "Only the orthodox"

sent in by Kurma prabhu
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Jasminder Singh was dying. His wife, Balgopal Kaur, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber.
He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.

"My darling Balgopal," he whispered.

"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh, ...don't talk."

He was insistent. "Balgopal," he said in his tired voice. "I . I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Balgopal.
"Everything's all right, go to sleep."

"No, no. I must die in peace, Balgopal my dear wife. I . . . I slept with your Sister, your best friend, her best friend, and even your Mother! I'm sorry, I've been the most sinful of men !!!"
"I know" Balgopal whispered softly. "That's why I ran you down with the tractor."
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Little Sunil watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, Mataji?"
"To make myself beautiful," she answered and then began to remove the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" Sunil started. "Giving up?"
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Remember, Old Folks are worth a Fortune:

Silver in their hair...
Gold in their teeth,
Stones in their Kidneys...
Lead in their feet, and...
Gas in their stomach.
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Things that make you go Hmmm....

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words,

.............how dangerous is a fax?
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The graduate with a:

Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu
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Did you know in the United States an average of 12 newborn babies are given to the wrong parents daily?

keepAhead Trivia Challenge
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A lady had recently become a devotee.

One of her coworkers asked her what it was like to be a devotee. She was caught off guard and didn't know how to answer; but when she looked up, she saw a jack-o'-lantern on the desk and answered:

"It's like being a pumpkin."

The co-worker asked her to explain that one.

"Well, God picks you from the patch and brings you in and washes off all the dirt on the outside that you got from being around all the other pumpkins. Then he cuts off the top and takes all the yucky stuff out from inside. He removes all those seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then he carves you a new smiling face and puts his light inside of you to shine for all to see.

It is our choice to either stay outside and rot on the vine or come inside and be something new and bright."

Comment:
I'll never look at a pumpkin the same way again !!
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You might like to check out Krishna-conscious jokes - http://vedaveda.com/anglais/joke/deux.html

Also check out the Humour section of the Main Index:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/index.htm
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)<>(|)<>(|)<>( A Grateful Word to our Supporters: )<>(|)<>(|)<
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Many thanks to all the readers who have one way or another subscribed
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this is okay with everyone. See you in a couple of weeks.

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