Newsletter Number #0055 - September 2001 A.D.issue.

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----------------------< ISKCON ki jaya >-----------------------

_0/\,

Please Accept My Respectful Obeisances & Best Wishes To All

_0____, All Glories To Srila Prabhupad.

\o/
(_)
/ \ All Glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

Welcome to this latest edition of the HKSRNewsletter, and our humble attempt to do some service. This newsletter now goes out to way over 1328 receivers. I trust that all is well with everyone by the Mercy of the Lord. However, if anyone would like to be removed please just send me a message requesting me to do so, and I will do it promptly. If you are receiving this from a friend, and would like to be added directly to the mailout please also let me know and I will do the needful there too. Hare Krishna. =>B-) JTCd
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)<>(|)<>(|)<>( The Nectar in this Issue: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)
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IN THIS ISSUE:

WWW - news and views: Calendar Updates & Events.

Chaturmasya - Third month fasting from Milk
Srila Prabhupad Arrival in the USA - 1965
Indira Ekadasi
Purushottam Adika mase
Padmanabha masa of Chaturmasya resumes after the Adika mase
Padmini Ekadasi
Parama Ekadasi
Vijaydasami - Victory for Lord Rama over Ravana
Sripad Madhwacharya (Ananda Tirtha) - Avirbhav
Pasankusha Ekadasi
Srila Raghunatha dasa Goswami - Tirubhav
Srila Raghunath Bhatta Goswami - Tirubhav
Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraj Goswami - Tirubhav
Sri Krishna Saradiya Rasayatra
Srila Murari Gupta - Tirubhav
Laxmi Puja
Chaturmasya - Fourth month fasting from Urid dahl

See the events on Interactive Calendar site for details:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar2001-2002.htm

Words of Wisdom - Shastra & Shastrakaras speak:
(Srila Prabhupad & the previous Acharyas)

Advertisements - what's on where: check them out...
...Music festival
Deals for members: More amazing deals for everyone.

At Grass Roots: topical stuff

Prasadam Recipes: To slake the thirst of body, mind & soul

Krishna conscious - Vedikly acceptable jokes:
- Ways of the world - Strange but true
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)<>()<>(|)<>( On the WWW News and Views: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)
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Check Out Our Main-index page
Golden Web Award winning site 2001+2002
& Pegasus Gold Award for March 2001.
Best of the Web Award 2001 - Bronze.
Easier to Navigate - Faster Loading

Lots of NEW links ....HEAPS !!! New Format & Layout ...have a surf !
NZ Hare Krishna Spiritual Resource Network Main Index:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/index.htm

Archana, Articles, Astrology, Audo files, Books, Calendars, Community, Downloads, E-cards, Education, Family, Food For Life, Harenama, Health, InterFaith, Iskcon, Jesus, Krishna, Lofts, Maori, Meditation, New Zealand centres, Prasadam, Questions, 4 Regulative Principles, Self Help, Srila Prabhupada, Temples world-wide, Varnashram Dharm, Vedik
Culture, Vegetarianism & Beyond, Weather, X-poses, Yoga,
Youth Forums, Z-free Internet access.......

...and H-E-A-Ps more.

http://www.hknet.org.nz/index.htm

http://welcome.to/hknetworks (this address may or may not work)
So much more to be found there too... HEAPS of New sites/links
updated last on 11th September 2001
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Please go to Webbie world and vote for us:
http://www.webbieworld.com/ww/default.asp

You'll find the NZ Hare Krishna Spiritual Resource Network under Religion.

Go to SEARCH on the Menu bar, enter Hare Krishna into the box, click Go.
When our site comes up please click on Vote.
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The Interactive Vaishnava Calendar page of
Fasts, Festivals, Functions and Feasts.

http://i.am/The-Vaishnava-Calendar
http://www.hknet.org.nz/CalendarWhosWho-page.htm

Now you can view the FULL years 1999-2000 & 2000-2001 & 2001-2002.
All Calendar entries are explained - Appearance or Disappearance
days, festivals, fasts, feasts, etc.

View other festivals on the Calendar:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar2001-2002.htm

Chaturmasya - third month begins - fasting from Milk
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar-glossary.htm#Chaturmasya

Srila Prabhupad Arrival in the USA - 1965
http://www.hknet.org.nz/SP-page.htm

Indira Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-21.htm

Purushottam Adika mase
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar-glossary.htm#Purusottama Adhika Masa
Padmanabha masa of Chaturmasya resumes after the Adika mase

Padmini Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-25.htm

Parama Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-26.htm

Vijaydasami - Victory for Lord Rama over Ravana
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad74.htm

Sripad Madhwacharya (Ananda Tirtha) - Avirbhav
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad53.htm

Pasankusha Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-22.htm

Srila Raghunatha Dasa Goswami - Tirubhav
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad24.htm

Srila Raghunath Bhatta Goswami - Tirubhav
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad22.htm

Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraj Goswami - Tirubhav
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad25.htm

Sri Krishna Saradiya Rasayatra
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad102.htm

Srila Murari Gupta - Tirubhav
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad118.htm

Laxmi Puja
http://www.hknet.org.nz/parishad120.htm

Chaturmasya - Fourth month fasting from Urid dahl
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar-glossary.htm#Chaturmasya

...and for after these check the Calendar
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Check out the Ekadasi pages with links to every Ekadasi:
(also find out from Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur
Prabhupada what is, and what constitutes a mahadwadasi)
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-page.htm
http://www.hknet.org.nz/dvadasi.htm

Indira Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-21.htm

Padmini Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-25.htm

Parama Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-26.htm

Pasankusha Ekadasi
http://www.hknet.org.nz/ekadasi-22.htm

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Download your Vaishnava Calendar and make a hard copy for this
year ( 2001-2002 AD - 515 Gaurabda ) from our site:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/Calendar2001-2002.htm

Vaishnava Calendar Program Vcal 4.01 FREE Download:
http://www.iskcon.org/calendar/vcal401.zip

or if you can't do that and you'd like a 2000-2001 Calendar for
your longitude, latitude and time zone ANYWHERE in the world
I can do that for you and e-mail it to you - FREE

Vaishnava Calendar Software 4.01

MAKE YOUR OWN CALENDAR FOR YOUR LOCATION,
no more dodgy calendars/panchangas/panjikas from India

Astrologically/Astronomically Accurate and FREE

Please download the software from:
http://www.iskcon.org/calendar/vcal401.zip

mailto:jtcd@xtra.co.nz
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Visit Your Local Hare Krishna Temple
See a full NZ list of contacts HERE under Communities:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/index.htm
http://www.hknet.org.nz/NZKiwi-yatra.html
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(|)<>( Words of Wisdom - Shastra & Shastrakaras speak: )<>(|)
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For Books and shastra downloads see Main Index, under Books:
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Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya
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On-line Bhagavad Gita As It Is:
http://www.prabhupada.com/bg/versus.cgi?ix
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On-line 1972 McMillan edition - Bhagavad Gita As It Is:
http://www.asitis.com/
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Bhagavad Gita As It Is Interactive On-line:
http://www.krsna.com/gita/
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The NEW BBT Interactive Bhagavad-Gita As It Is CD-ROM:
http://www.gitacd.com
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The A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada Network:
http://www.acbspn.com/
Listen to, or Download Srila Prabhupada's lectures on-line.
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NEW PRABHUPADA PHOTO SITE
http://photos.groups.yahoo.com/group/vaisnava_synod/lst
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The Krsna Book on-line:
http://krsnabook.com/

Srimad Bhagavatam on-line:
http://www.srimadbhagavatam.org/
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Now there is a 24-hour Internet radio station where the you can hear the
Bhagavad-Gita : http://www.live365.com/stations/250572 .

and at:

Bhagavad Gita is now available for listening as well as reading over Internet.
A 24 hour Internet Broadcast is also going on.
http://www.harekrishna.asn.au/speakers/gitamrta/gitamrta.htm
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Sacred Texts From Shastra - Rg Ved, Yajur Ved, Sam Ved, Arthava Ved, etc:
http://sacred-texts.com/hin/
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eGroups DAILY DIGEST: Vediculture covering all manner of topics:
http://www.eGroups.com/list/vediculture/

View the full archives, subscribe/unsubscribe, use the
group calendar at http://www.eGroups.com/list/vediculture
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Bhagavad Gita As It Is - Chapter 1 TEXT 15
Observing the Armies on the Battlefield of Kuruksetra

TEXT 15
pancajanyam hrsikeso
devadattam dhananjayah
paundram dadhmau maha-sankham
bhima-karma vrkodarah

WORD FOR WORD
pancajanyam--the conchshell named Pancajanya; hrsika-isah--Hrsikesa (Krsna, the Lord who directs the senses of the devotees); devadattam--the conchshell named Devadatta; dhanam-jayah--Dhananjaya (Arjuna, the winner of wealth); paundram--the conch named Paundra; dadhmau--blew; maha-sankham--the terrific conchshell; bhima-karma--one who performs herculean tasks; vrka-udarah--the voracious eater (Bhima).

TRANSLATION
Lord Krsna blew His conchshell, called Pancajanya; Arjuna blew his, the Devadatta; and Bhima, the voracious eater and performer of herculean tasks, blew his terrific conchshell, called Paundra.

PURPORT by HDG Srila A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada:
Lord Krsna is referred to as Hrsikesa in this verse because He is the owner of all senses. The living entities are part and parcel of Him, and therefore the senses of the living entities are also part and parcel of His senses. The impersonalists cannot account for the senses of the living entities, and therefore they are always anxious to describe all living entities as sense-less, or impersonal. The Lord, situated in the hearts of all living entities, directs their senses. But He directs in terms of the surrender of the living entity, and in the case of a pure devotee He directly controls the senses. Here on the Battlefield of Kuruksetra the Lord directly controls the transcendental senses of Arjuna, and thus His particular name of Hrsikesa. The Lord has different names according to His different activities. For example, His name is Madhusudana because He killed the demon of the name Madhu; His name is Govinda because He gives pleasure to the cows and to the senses; His name is Vasudeva because He appeared as the son of Vasudeva; His name is Devaki-nandana because He accepted Devaki as His mother; His name is Yasoda-nandana because He awarded His childhood pastimes to Yasoda at Vrndavana; His name is Partha-sarathi because He worked as charioteer of His friend Arjuna. Similarly, His name is Hrsikesa because He gave direction to Arjuna on the Battlefield of Kuruksetra.

Arjuna is referred to as Dhananjaya in this verse because he helped his elder brother in fetching wealth when it was required by the king to make expenditures for different sacrifices. Similarly, Bhima is known as Vrkodara because he could eat as voraciously as he could perform herculean tasks, such as killing the demon Hidimba. So the particular types of conchshell blown by the different personalities on the side of the Pandavas, beginning with the Lord's, were all very encouraging to the fighting soldiers. On the other side there were no such credits, nor the presence of Lord Krsna, the supreme director, nor that of the goddess of fortune. So they were predestined to lose the battle--and that was the message announced by the sounds of the conchshells.

Bhagavad Gita As It Is

Copyright 1983 The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International. Used with permission.

Archive: http://www.cs.rice.edu/~vivek/btg/archive/
Home Page: http://www.cs.rice.edu/~vivek/btg/

Join Bhagavad Gita eGroups HERE
mailto:bhagavad_gita-owner@egroups.com
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Biography of Chankhya Pandit on-line: http://www.freeindia.org/biographies/greatpersonalities/chanakya/index.htm

Chanakhya Niti Shastra on-line:
http://www.indiadivine.com/chanakya-niti-shastra.htm
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tasmäd bhärata sarvätmä
bhagavän Ishvaro harih
shrotavyah kiirtitavyash cha
smartavyash checchatäbhayam

“Everyone who desires to be free from all anxieties should always hear about, glorify and remember the Personality of Godhead, who is the supreme director of everything, the extinguisher of all difficulties, and the Supersoul of all living entities.” (SB 2:1:5)
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"The word tattvatah, meaning 'in reality,' is very important. Tato mam tattvato jnatva. Unless one understands Krsna in truth by the mercy of the spiritual master, one is not free to give up his material body. As it is said, aruhya krcchrena param padam tatah patanty adho 'nadrta-yusmad-anghrayah: if one neglects to serve the lotus feet of Krsna, one cannot become free from the material clutches simply by knowledge. Even if one attains the stage of brahma-padam, merging in Brahman, without bhakti he is prone to fall down. One must be very careful in regard to the danger of falling down again into material bondage. THE ONLY INSURANCE IS TO COME TO THE STAGE OF BHAKTI, FROM WHICH ONE IS SURE NOT TO FALL. Then one is free from the activities of the material world. In summary, as stated by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, one must get in touch with a bona fide spiritual master coming in the parampara of Krsna consciousness, for by his mercy and instructions one is able to get strength from Krsna. Thus one engages in devotional service and attains the ultimate goal of life, the lotus feet of Visnu." (ACBSP. Srimad Bhagavatam. 7.15.45. purport)
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"The natural position of the living entity is to serve the Lord in a transcendental loving attitude. When the living entity wants to become Krsna Himself or imitate Krsna, he falls down into the material world." (ACBSP. Srimad Bhagavatam. 4.28.53 Purport)

"By misusing his independence, the living entity falls down from the service of the Lord and takes a position in this material world as an enjoyer. That is to say, the living entity takes his position within a material body. Wanting to take a very exalted position, the living entity instead becomes entangled in a repetition of birth and death. He selects his position as a human being, a demigod, a cat, a dog, a tree, etc. In this way the living entity selects a body out of the 8,400,000 forms and tries to satisfy himself by a variety of material enjoyment." (ACBSP. Srimad Bhagavatam. 4.28.53. Purport)

"The Supreme Lord is the supreme friend of everyone; however, no one can take advantage of the supreme friend's instructions while making his own plans to become happy and entangling himself in the modes of material nature." (ACBSP. Srimad Bhagavatam. 4.28.53. Purport)
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Please chant:

hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare
hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare

.......and your life will become sublime.

http://www.hknet.org.nz/harernam-page.htm
http://Harinam/rulestheweb.com
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"Hinduism" is the ONLY major religion that has not grown by forcing itself upon others through negative destruction of indigenous cultures of the world.

The broad umbrella of "Hinduism" has over one billion adherents worldwide, and is the third-largest religion after Christianity (1.9 billion) and Islam (1.2 billion). But NOTE that both of the latter went on a rampage over previous centuries to destroy other cultures and religions and have "theirs" as the only true faith.

Love cannot be forced, such forcing is obviously rape.

Our understanding that we are not these changing bodies allows peoples of all faiths to embrace the Eternal Absolute Truth through Sanantan Dharma, the Eternal Religion.

Revealing and uncovering the Truths, covered by previous motivated regeims see our InterFaith page , Vedik culture page and their links.

.....anyone can do it, just add the chanting of the Lord's Holy Name.
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"'Even a little advancement on this path can protect one from the most dangerous type of fear.' The Supreme Personality of Godhead is known as bhava-grahi janardana because He takes only the essence of a devotee's attitude. If a devotee sincerely surrenders, the Lord, as the Supersoul in everyone's heart, immediately understands this. Thus even though, externally, a devotee may not render full service, if he is internally sincere and serious the Lord welcomes his service nonetheless. Thus the Lord is known as bhava-grahi janardana because He takes the essence of one's devotional mentality." (Srimad Bhagavatam. 8.23.2)
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Time to wake up:

"In a dream we form a society of friendship and love, and when we awaken we see that it has ceased to exist. Similarly, one's gross society, family and love are also a dream, and this dream will be over as soon as one dies. Therefore, whether one is dreaming in a subtle way or a gross way, these dreams are all false and temporary. One's real business is to understand that one is soul (aham brahmasmi) and that his activities should therefore be different. Then one can be happy." (Srimad Bhagavatam. 7:14:3-4)

See a further elaboration on this purport HERE (http://www.hknet.org.nz/dreamers.html)
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Hare Krishna Audio Library - Class of the Week

The Myth of Empirical Objectivity
from the ORIGINS Lecture Series by HG Sataputa Das

http://www.harekrishna.org.au/weekly.htm
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"Bhagavad-gita (8.16) says, abrahma-bhuvanal lokah punar avartino 'rjuna: except for those who go to Visnuloka, everyone is subjected to the four principles of material life, namely birth, death, old age and disease. The Lord says, yad gatva na nivartante tad dhama paramam mama: 'The planet from which, once going, no one returns, is My supreme abode.' (Bg. 15.6) Dhruva Maharaja was reminded, 'You are going in our company to that planet from which no one returns to this material world.' Material scientists are attempting to go to the moon and other planets, but they cannot imagine going to the topmost planet, Brahmaloka, for it is beyond their imagination. By material calculation, traveling at the speed of light it would take forty thousand light-years to reach the topmost planet. By mechanical processes we are unable to reach the topmost planet of this universe, but the process called bhakti-yoga, as executed by Maharaja Dhruva, can give one the facility not only to reach other planets within this universe, but also to reach beyond this universe to the Visnuloka planets." (ACBSP. Srimad Bhagavatam. 4.12.26. purport)
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"The principal sign of the age of Kali is that lower-caste sudras, i.e., men without brahminical culture and spiritual initiation, will be dressed like administrators or kings, and the principal business of such non-ksatriya rulers will be to kill the innocent animals, especially the cows and the bulls, who shall be unprotected by their masters, the bona fide vaisyas, the mercantile community." (Srimad Bhagavatam. 1.17.1)

Go-dhuli-sandhya:

go-dhUli-dhUsarita-komala-gopa-veza
gopAla-bAlaka-zatair anugamyamAnam
sAyantane prati-gRhaM pazu-bandhanArthaM
gacchantam acyuta-zizuM praNato 'smi nityam

"I eternally prostrate myself before the Infallible Lord, who comes in the guise of an ordinary cowherd child. His soft, tender limbs are covered in the dust upraised by the hooves of His herds of cows. He is accompanied by hundreds of cowherd boys as He returns every evening to each house in Braj, to tether the cows into their sheds."

See our Cow Protection pages: http://www.hknet.org.nz/Cow-protection.htm
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vamanas vidih sesah sanako visnu vakyatah
dharmartha hetave caite bhavisyanti dvijah kalau

Vamana, Brahma, Ananta Sesha and Sanaka Kumara will appear as brahmanas by the order of Visnu, for the preservation of eternal righteousness in kali yuga.

visnuswami vamanangsastatha madhvastu brahmanah
ramanujastu sesangsa nimbaditya sanakasya ca

Visnuswami, Madhvacarya, Ramanuja and Nimbaditya will appear respectively as a portion of Vamana, Brahma, Ananta Sesha and Sanaka Kumara.

ete kalau yuge bhavyah sampradaya pravartakah
samvatsare vikrama catvarah ksiti pavanah

These four saviours will be the establishers of the four authorised and empowered spiritual channels of disciplic succession in the period calculated from the reign of King Vikrama in 54 B.C. subsequently through the 432,000 year cycle of kali yuga.

sampradaya vihina ye mantraste nisphalah smritah
tasmacca gamanang hyasti sampradaya narairapi

These four authorised and empowered spiritual channels of disciplic succession are to be fully accepted by all beings; as any word, combination of words or formulation of sound frequencies, invoked or addressed, audible or inaudible, secret or revealed, ancient or contemporary outside their auspices prove to have absolutely no efficacy.

Garga Samhita, Canto 10, chapter 61, verses 23, 24, 25, 26.

See more Guru-parampara pages
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"History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon."

Napoleon

See our Pramanam pages on how to see the Truth.
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"Happiness awaits those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives."

(unknown sojourner)

Click HERE to understand different Kinds of Friends
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The Spider and the Bug

There was once a spider who lived in a cornfield. He was a big spider and he had spun a beautiful web between the corn stalks. He got fat eating all the bugs that would get caught in his web. He liked his home and planned to stay there for the rest of his life.

One day the spider caught a little bug in his web, and just as the spider was about to eat him, the bug said, "If you let me go I will tell you something important that will save your life." The spider paused for a moment and listened because he was amused. "You better get out of this cornfield," the little bug said, "The harvest is coming!"

The spider smiled and said, "What is this harvest you are talking about? I think you are just telling me a story." But the little bug said, "Oh no, it is true. The owner of this field is coming to harvest it soon. All the stalks will be knocked down and the corn will be gathered up. You will be killed by the giant machines if you stay here."

The spider said, "I don't believe in harvests and giant machines that knock down corn stalks. How can you prove this?" The little bug continued, "Just look at the corn. See how it is planted in rows? It proves this field was created by an intelligent designer."

The spider laughed and mockingly said, "This field has evolved and has nothing to do with a creator. Corn always grows that way." The bug went on to explain, "Oh no. This field belongs to the owner who planted it, and the harvest is coming soon." The spider grinned and said to the little bug, "I don't believe you," and then the spider ate the little bug for lunch.

A few days later, the spider was laughing about the story the little bug had told him. He thought to himself, "A harvest! What a silly idea. I have lived here all of my life and nothing has ever disturbed me. I have been here since these stalks were just a foot off the ground, and I'll be here for the rest of my life, because nothing is ever going to change in this field. Life is good, and I have it made."

The next day was a beautiful sunny day in the cornfield. The sky above was clear and there was no wind at all. That afternoon as the spider was about to take a nap, he noticed some thick dusty clouds moving toward him.

He could hear the roar of a great engine and he said to himself, "I wonder what that could be?"

~Unknown Author

Here's a related page:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/atheists-unscientific-page.htm

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The Jars

The preacher placed two identical jars on the table next to the pulpit. He quoted 1 Samuel 16:7: "The
Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but, the Lord looks at the heart"

"These jars came from the same factory, were made of the same materials, and, can hold the same amount."

"But, they are different," he explained.

Then he upset one, and, it oozed out honey. He turned over the other, and, vinegar spilled out. "When a jar is upset, whatever is in it comes out".

"Until the jars were upset, they looked alike. The difference was within, and, could not be seen. When they were upset, their contents were revealed".

"Until we are upset we put on a good front. But, when we are upset, we reveal our innermost thoughts, and, attitudes, for, out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks" ( Luke 6:45).

"What if someone tipped you over today?"

"What would flow out?"

"Would you reveal the "honey" of grace, and, patience, or the "vinegar" of anger and sarcasm?"

"Above all, love each other deeply, because, love covers over a multitude of sins" (1Peter 4:8).

Have a terrific day knowing that the one who upsets you may be just looking for some honey.

Author Unknown
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Topical Articles:

Genetic Engineering - http://www.hknet.org.nz/GE.html
Environment - http://www.hknet.org.nz/Environment.htm
Cloning - http://www.hknet.org.nz/cloning.htm
Science - http://www.hknet.org.nz/science2KC.html
Cow Protection - http://www.hknet.org.nz/Cow-protection.htm
The Four Regulative Principles of Freedom - http://www.hknet.org.nz/Regs-4page.htm
seX-files - http://www.hknet.org.nz/seX-files.htm
Mundane Knowledge - http://www.hknet.org.nz/mundaneknowledge.html
Death - http://www.hknet.org.nz/death.html
Near Death Experience - http://www.hknet.org.nz/NDE.htm
Ghosts - http://www.hknet.org.nz/ghosts.htm

.........many other articles - http://www.hknet.org.nz/index-articles.htm
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)<>(|)<>(|)<>( Deals available for devotees : )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<
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As new things happen and become available we'll keep y'll informed
about discounts and how to have access to them - what to do.

http://www.hknet.org.nz/index-deals4-devs.htm

This is a totally free service, we have worked hard to organise it
please make good use of it for you development of Krishna Seva.
Again see under Main Index:
---------------------------------------------------------------
Transcendentalize your Cursor:

http://www.cometzone.com

With the option for various Deities to be moving with your cursor; Ganesh, Laxmi, Saraswati, Vishnu, Krishna, and Rama, transcendentalize your system.

Easily changeable and removable
---------------------------------------------------------------
Your Add HERE For FREE
If you have a function, event, festival, something to share
or whatever, or need something advertised to the devotees put
it here. Help build a stronger infrastructure of devotees.
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)<>(|)<>(|)<>( What's Going On Where & Adds: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(
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The Passing Away of Ananya Bhak dasa - Melbourne

On Wednesday 5th September 2001 around Noon @ Bethlehem Hospice, Kooyong Rd.

Ananya Bhak prabhu was best know for his years of dedicated service to cooking for Food For Life - Crossways in Melbourne, and as a staunch pujari and cook for Sri Sri Radha Ballabha in Iskcon Melb.
Some may also know him from his few years in Perth, or from his visit back to New Zealand, his country of birth during the North Island Padayatra of 1992.

At the hospital with him were Keshava and Jnana Samudra prabhus. Keshava prabhu was chanting in his ear just as he departed. Hospital staff were VERY co-operative. His passing was glorious.

There was the traditional prasadam feast in his honour on Saturday 8th Sept. three days after his departure.

If you would like to read the full story it is available at the following address:
http://anitest.manilasites.com/

There will be a commemorative service in his honour at the Melbourne Temple
Saturday 15th September for more information mailto:aniruddha.bjd@pamho.net

"He reason ill who tells that Vaisnavas die
When thou art living still in sound!
The Vaisnavas die to live, and living try
To spread the Holy Name around !"

(Poem by Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura)

Sri Ishopanishad - Mantra Seventeen - Psalm

väyur anilam amritam
athedam bhasmäntam sharnram
om krato smara kritam smara
krato smara kritam smara

"Let this temporary body be burnt to ashes, and let the air of life be merged with the totality of air. Now, O my Lord, please remember all my sacrifices, and because You are the ultimate beneficiary, please remember all that I have done for You."

We wish him well on his progress back to the spiritual abode - Goloka Vrindavana.
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CONGRATULATIONS:
Ohu vaha ho
ohu vaha ho
ohu vaha ho (oh how wondrous, oh how wondrous, oh how wondrous)

Congratulations to residents of New Varshana Auckland, Indrakarma prabhu and Akarshini Gaurangi mataji on the appearance of your little "Ray of Vishnu" - Son  named Radheshyam. Born in Auckland on 23rd August 2001 with all samskaras.

Both mother and baby are well.

Also CONGRATULATIONS:
Ohu vaha ho
ohu vaha ho
ohu vaha ho (oh how wondrous, oh how wondrous, oh how wondrous)

to Adi Purush prabhu and Adya Shakti mataji (Brisbane Aus) for the birth of their "Ray of Vishnu" who took his birth after 11 years of inviting him, on 29th August 2001

Srila Prabhupad on the topic:
"Sucinäm Shrimatäm gehe. So this child is born of a devotee father and devotee mother. Now he’ll again begin from the point where he lost last life. Suppose Krishna consciousness he executed fifty percent. So he’ll begin from this life fifty-one percent. That fifty percent was in his stock. But ordinary karmis—cent percent lost. He has to begin another chapter of life according to his karma." (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 17th July 1971. Lexture in Detroit.)

"There are two kinds of children born of good fathers: one is educated in Krishna consciousness so that he can be delivered from the clutches of mäyä in that very life, and the other is a ray of the Supreme Personality of Godhead and teaches the world the ultimate goal of life." (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 8th August 1976. Srimad Bhagavatam class SB 3:22:19. Tehran, Iran)
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Spiritual Sky Incense & Oils etc.

New Page - check it out, its worth it.

http://www.spiritualskyincense.com

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Announcement: source - Just downloaded from rediff.com 27th Aug 2001
Now, non-Hindus too can have darshan of Puri deity by Imran Khan in Bhubaneswar

There is good news for non-Hindus desiring to have a glimpse of the lord in Puri's famous Jagannath temple.
Gopinath Mohanty, director of the Orissa tourism department, said the government has decided to build an elevated swing tower with a platform on the northern side of the world famous temple to enable non-Hindus to pay their respects to the lord without entering the temple.
It will be the closest that non-Hindus will ever get to the lord. The temple is probably the only one in the country where the pandas (priests) are still opposed to the entry of non-Hindus inside its premises. In fact, the priests enjoy the Puri Shankaracharya's support on this matter. At the temple's main entrance, guarded by stone lions, a small marble plate proclaims - Only Hindus are allowed.
About ten years back, the pandas prevented Dr Kamalesh Choudhry, a Pune-based friend of well-known Oriya writer Prativa Ray, from entering the temple. The pandas suspected Dr Choudhry of being a Christian. It was only after much pleading by Ray that she was allowed to enter the temple.
Several such cases have been publicised in recent times. Members of ISKCON (International Society for Krishna Consciousness) are also not allowed to enter the temple.
From Father of the Nation Mahatma Gandhi to former prime minister Indira Gandhi, the pandas have spared no one. Mahatma Gandhi was prevented from entering the temple as he was accompanied
by Harijans while Acharya Vinobha Bhave faced the wrath of the pandas for being accompanied by Muslims.
Indira Gandhi's fault was that she was married to a Parsi.
It is said that Biswanath Das, a former prime minister of Orissa (before independence, the chief minister of the state was called prime minister), did not visit the temple protesting against the denial of admission to non-Hindus to the inner sanctum of the temple.
According to temple sources, the first converted Hindu who entered the inner sanctum of the temple, in 1950, was Shri Shri Dayamata, an American woman who succeeded Shri Shri Pramananda Yogananda as head of the Yogananda SanghaMath.
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Harinaam Kirtan and Bhajans in Tauranga BOP.

Every Saturday in the Red Square by the Strand

Come and join the throng 11:00 am - 12:30 pm

...for more details contact Surya Narayan dasa

mailto:suryadas@xtra.co.nz
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New - Kiwi Youth Web-page
i
Articles
Links
Meet the Kuli's
News
Picture Gallery(ies)
...and much more.

...pay us a visit, and be part of it

http://www.hknet.org.nz/KiwiYouth.html
mailto:lilaallan@hotmail.com

We welcome your contributions - articles, ideas, links, etc.
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Sri Shaligram Tirtha Pradarshini -
...the site for Shaligram, Govardhan, Dwaraka shilas and Their Sevaks

Why not come on in for Cyber-darshan

http://www.hknet.org.nz/Sri-Shaligram-Tirtha.htm

If you'd like to send in an article, picture, story or experience with Shilas please send it to me HERE
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Vegetarian Clubs
Waikato University - Hamilton campus

2 days per week serving about 100 plates each day.

for more information mailto:deva4deva@hotmail.com

Auckland University - Wellesley St. campus

Otago University - Dunedin

Room 2., Clubs & Societies Building
Albany St.,

contact Jambavati dasi (03) 477 8277
mailto:HKDunedin@hotmail.com

http://www.hknet.org.nz/HKDunedin-page.htm
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Meet Your Meat
CD-Rom FREE on request

Exposes the fallacy of humane killing in slaughterhouses

Not for the soft hearted, so show it to your meat eating friends

Organised and endorsed by PETA http://www.meatstinks.com/

For Vegetarian Options see our site http://turn.to/Vegetarianism

for your FREE CD-Rom mailto:Chalissa1@aol.com

Order FREE Vegepak or Download a taste of it HERE http://www.meatstinks.com/livevegpak.asp

See more on-line @ http://www.hknet.org.nz/V-meetURmeat.html

bhoktAram yajna-tapasAm suHRdam sarvabhUtAnAm |
sarvaloka maheshvaram jnatvA mAm shantim Rcchati ||

Knowing Me as the Enjoyer of sacrifices, FRIEND OF ALL CREATURES
Lord of all worlds, [the wise one] attains peace.

Last shloka, Chapter 5, Srimad Bhagavad GeetA
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Vegetarian Resource Group Offers College Course on Vegetarianism

Source: http://www.vrg.org/berkoff/introduction.htm

BOSTON, MASSACHUCETTS, September 8, 2001: Vegetarian Resource Group now
offers a college-level online course on vegetarianism, taught by Chef Nancy
Berkoff, RD. Originally designed as an advanced nutrition class for culinary
students, the course has been expanded to include topics of interest for
everyone interested in food, health, small business, and vegetarianism. For
more information online go to source above.

Also available to "overseas - outside USA" Students.

Courtesy of http://www.HinduismToday.com/
--------------------------------------------------------------
McDonald's faces $1bn lawsuit over beefy 'veggie' chips:
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_305330.html?menu=

McDonald's says it's sorry about any confusion surrounding its use of beef flavouring in the production of its French fries in the US, a practice that has angered Hindus and vegetarians.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_303759.html?menu=

McDonald's apologises over 'vegetarian' chips:
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_303380.html?menu=

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East Meets West @ "The Loft"
Enjoy an enlightening time associating with energetic devotees. Explore the similarities of ancient and modern surroundings through Krishna consciousness in a friendly non-threatening atmosphere.

Auckland Loft
http://www.hknet.org.nz/LoftAuck-page.htm

Wellington Loft
http://www.hknet.org.nz/LoftWell-page.htm

mailto:jenny_tippett@yahoo.com

Christchurch Loft
http://www.geocities.com/theloftchch

Hanuman dasa:
mailto:theloft108@hotmail.com
--------------------------------------------------------------
See our marketplace link off the main index:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/index-market.html
--------------------------------------------------------------
Do you have any services or products to advertise here for FREE ?
--------------------------------------------------------------
If you have any news, events, functions, deals, etc., that you
would like to share with members of the greater Vaishnava
community then please do so by sending what you have to us, we
can pass them on in the next newsletter mailto:jtcd@xtra.co.nz
--------------------------------------------------------------
Festivals - Feasting - Kids and spilages - HOW TO CLEAN ANYTHING.COM: http://www.howtocleananything.com/
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)<>(|)<>(|)<>( Prasadam Recipies: )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(
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NEW - Free On-line Hare Krishna Cook-book:
http://www.harekrishnatemple.com/cookbook/sefer.cgi

The Indian Recipe Site for Vegetarian Cooking:
http://www.tarladalal.com/new/default.asp

Mexican Rice
Ingredients
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 teaspoon hing
1 1/2 cups vegetable broth
1 1/2 cups quick-cooking brown rice
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 large tomato, seeded and chopped
1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese

Directions
In a large saucepan, heat oil over medium high heat. Add hing; cook for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in broth, rice, chili powder, jalapeno peppers, and cumin. Cover, and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat, and simmer for 4 minutes.
Stir in bell pepper. Cover.

Simmer for 5 minutes, or until liquid is absorbed.
Stir tomato and shredded cheese into hot cooked rice.
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Aubergine Fold and Feta Rolls
Serves 4
Preparation Time 30 mins to 1 hr
Cooking Time Less than 10 mins

Ingredients
1 large aubergine, about 500g/1¼lb
120ml/4floz extra virgin olive oil
2 tsps Hing powder
finely grated zest of 1 lemon
1 small beef tomato (beef tomato is just the name of the variety of tomato)
275g/10oz Greek feta cheese
8 large fresh basil leaves
8 sundried tomatoes in olive oil, drained and finely sliced
salt and freshly ground black pepper
8 fine metal trussing skewers or cocktail sticks soaked in cold water for 30 minutes.

Instructions
Trim off the stalk end of the aubergine and then cut lengthways into 8 x 5 mm / ¼ in thick slices discarding the ends.
Arrange the slices in a single layer on a large baking tray, sprinkle lightly with some fine salt and set aside for 30 minutes to 1 hour - this will make them easier to roll later on as well as draw out some of the water.
Rinse the aubergines in cold water and then pat them really dry with kitchen paper.
Mix the olive oil with the Hing, lemon zest and some seasoning. Brush over both sides of each aubergine slice then season with plenty of pepper. Place on the barbecue over medium-hot coals and barbecue for 2-3 minutes on each side until lightly charred.
Set aside and leave to cool a little. Cut the tomato into 4 thick slices, discarding the ends and then cut each slice in half again to make 8 slices.
Cut the feta cheese into 8 slices. Place the aubergine slices onto the work surface and place a piece of tomato in the middle of each slice. Arrange a slice of feta on top, then roughly tear the basil and scatter on top. Sprinkle over the sun dried tomatoes and season with plenty of freshly ground black pepper. Flip over both ends to enclose the filling and secure with a cocktail stick.
Brush the outside of the rolls with the rest of the Hing and lemon oil and barbecue over medium-hot coals for 1-2 minutes on each side or until they are heated through and slightly golden.

Serve at once.
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Ensalada De Guacamole (Gucamole Salad)
The beans and corn are enriched with a smooth dressing of avocado with tomatoes.
Cooking Time : 10 min.
Preparation Time : 10 min.
Serves/Makes : Serves 4.

Ingredients
For the vegetables
1 teacup boiled red kidney beans (rajma)
2 teacups cooked sweet corn kernels
1 teacup cabbage shreaded
1 teacup lettuce leaves, shredded

To be blended into a dressing (in a bottle)
1 ripe avocado, peeled and cut into pieces
1 tomato, chopped
1 tablespoon Cider vinegar
1 tablespoon oil
1/4 teaspoon salt

Method
1. Pour the dressing over the vegetables and mix well.
2. Seve cold.
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Nacho Grande
A Mexican snack, popular with youngsters.

Cooking Time : 60 min.
Preparation Time : 45 min.
Serves/Makes : .

Ingredients
For the corn chips
100 grams maize flour (makai ka atta)
50 grams plain flour
1 tablespoon oil
salt to taste
oil for deep frying

For the salsa dip
3 tomatoes
1 capsicum
1 tsp Hing powder
2 teaspoons Chillies In Vinegar
1/2 teaspoon chilli powder
2 pinches ajwain
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon oil

For the stuffing
1 teacup red kidney beans (rajma)
1 teacup of cabbage chopped
2 tablespoons tomato ketchup
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons oil or ghee
salt to taste

For the topping
1 teacup chopped spring rocket or other tasty cabbage/spanach
4 tablespoons grated cheese
2 cut green chillies

For the corn chips
1. Mix rhe maize flour and plain flour. Add the oil and salt. Mix well again.
2. Make a dough by adding hot water. Knead very well.
3. Roll out the dough into small circles with the help of a little plain flour. Prick lightly with a fork.
4. Deep fry lightly in oil.
5. Remove from the oil and sprinkle oil while hot.

For the stuffing
1. Soak the beans overnight.
2. Next day, cook in pressure cooker. Drain.
3. Heat the oil and fry the onion for 1 minute.
4. Add the beans, tomato ketchup, butter and salt and cook for 5 minutes.
5. When cooked, mash the beans lightly.

For the salsa dip
1. Put the tomatoes in hot water for about 10 minutes. Remove the skin and chop.
2. Pierce the capsicum with a fork and hold over the flame until the skin blanckens. Remove from the heat, rub off the burnt skin and chop.
3. Heat the oil and fry the onion for 1/2 minute. Add the remaining ingredients and cook for 3 to 4 minutes.
4. Use as required.

How to proceed
1. On a heat-proof plate, arrange 12 to 15 corn chips in a single layer. Top each corn chip with 1 heaped teaspoon of re-fried beans.
2. Sprinkle some salsa dip, grated cheese and a few cut pieces of green chilli.
3. Top with 7 to 8 more corn chips and make layers.
4. Add the remaining chips and sprinkle the remaining topping.
5.Sprinkle the remaining cheese and grill or bake at 200 degree C ( 400 degree F) for 5 to 7 minutes, or microwave on high for 2 minutes rotating the plate 2 or 3 times during the process or until the chips are heated and the cheese has melted.
6. Serve hot.
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Ice-Cream With Muscovado Sugar Syrup
Vanilla ice-cream served with cinnamon flavoured sugar syrup.
Cooking Time : 10 min.
Preparation Time : 5 min.
Serves/Makes : Serves 4.
Ingredients
4 scoops vanilla ice-cream

For the muscovado sugar syrup
200 grams brown sugar
3" (75 mm.) stick cinnamon
juice of 1 orange
1/4 teaspoon aniseeds

Method
1. Mix the ingredients for the syrup in a saucepan along with 1/2 cup of water and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally.
2. Simmer over medium heat for 5 minutes.
3. Pour the syrup over the ice-cream and serve immediately.
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Mexican Hot Chocolate
This cinnamon flavoured chocolate makes a nourishing and delightful nightcap.
Options of Carob, Milo, Kaffree are an alternative for those who do not partake of chocolate.
Cooking Time : 10 mins.
Preparation Time : 10 mins.
Serves/Makes : Serves 4.

Ingredients
1 tablespoon cocoa (Milo, Kaffree, etc)
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon powdered cinnamon
a pinch salt
4 teacups milk
3/4 teaspoon vanilla essence
100 grams fresh cream

Method
1. Mix the cocoa, sugar, cinnamon and slat in a small bowl.
2. Heat 1 teacup of the milk in a vessel. When it starts boiling, add the cocoa mixture and beat until the mixture is very smooth.
3. Add the rest of the milk and heat on a slow flame.
4. Stir in a vanilla and add the cream.

How to proceed
1. Just before serving, beat with a rotary beater till frothy.
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Creamsicle Frappe
This recipe is from "Magic of Soy - Healthy Cooking with
Soy Protein" by GeniSoy Products, which you can purchase at
the link below this tip.

Makes 2 servings

Ingredients:
1 cup orange juice or 1/4 cup frozen orange juice
concentrate plus 3/4 cup ice water
1/2 cup firm silken tofu
1/2 cup ice water
1 scoop GeniSoy Natural Vanilla Shake Powder (1/4 cup)
2 tablespoons frozen orange juice concentrate
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Method
Place all the ingredients in a blender, and process until
the mixture is very smooth and creamy. Serve at once.

Or it can be frozen in Popsicle makers if desired.
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OVER 100 EGGLESS CAKE recipes can be found on our Main index and
on many other pages at: http://www.hknet.org.nz/great100.zip

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Everything you want to know about Vegetarianism and Beyond:
http://turn.to/Vegetarianism

...and always with the Magic ingredient - Offer it to Krishna.....
...with L'n D (love and devotion)

http://www.hknet.org.nz/How2offer.htm

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Check out heaps of information on Vegetarianism, Prasadam-ism,
download books, Vegetarian Recipe programs, and more.

http://www.hknet.org.nz/Veges-Beyond5page.htm

HERE I'VE COMPILED HUNDREDS OF USEFUL LINKS 4 U:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/vege-links1.htm

NEW - an amazing vegetarian source guide:
http://www.vegsource.org/
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A Beginners Guide to Vegetarianism:
http://people.qualcomm.com/sriharid/info/vegetarianism/veg.html
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How Mary and Frank and Friends Eat - very nice Vegetarian pages:
http://www.all-creatures.org/recipes.html
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Vegetarian recipes:
http://www.vegweb.com

Heaps of Quick Vegetarian Recipies:
http://www.quickneasyrecipes.com/vegetarian/vegetarian.html

Healthy Indian Vegetarian Cooking Recipes:
http://www.vegsource.com/articles/chari_veg_chili.htm

VegeSource Recipes:
http://www.vegsource.com/recipe/

Vegetarian Central - Resource Guide:
http://www.vegsource.com/vegcentral/

Islamic Vegetarian page:
http://www.islamveg.com/recip.html

Planet Veggie.com:
http://www.planetveggie.com/

Vegetarian Cookbook Making Meat Substitutes Taste Great:
http://www.cookingvegetarian.com/vegetariancookbook.htm

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a season's worth of footballs.
support Cow Protection: http://www.hknet.org.nz/Cow-protection.htm

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR - LET ME KNOW...!
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>()<>(|)<>( Krishna Conscious - Vedikly acceptable Jokes: )<>(|)
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One summer, a drought threatened the crop in a small town.
On a hot and dry Sunday, the village parson told his congregation,
"There isn't anything that will save us except to pray for rain.
Go home, pray, believe, and come back next Sunday ready to thank God for sending rain."
The people did as they were told and returned to church the following Sunday.
But as soon as the priest saw them, he was furious.
"We can't worship today. You people do not yet believe," he said.
"But," they protested, "we prayed, and we do believe."
"Believe?" he responded. "Then where are your umbrellas?"
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Taladhwaj called up the Air New Zealand ticket counter and asked, "How long are your flights from Auckland to Invercargil?"

The counterman answered, "Just one minute, sir."

At which, Taladhwaj thanked him and hung up.
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Bhaleshwari came home and said, "Prabhu, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is."

Her husband asked her what it was, and she told him there was water in the carburetor. He thought for a moment, then said, "You know, I don't mean this offensively, but you don't know the carburetor from the distributor."

"No, there's definitely water in the carburetor," she insisted.
"Okay Devi, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"
"In the lake," she replied!
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Santa Singh spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.

"No, you idiot!" Santa shouted. "This is her husband!"
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"When you're moving your whole world becomes finding boxes. You become obsessed. You could be at a funeral, everyone's crying, you're looking at the casket. 'That's a nice box. It even has handles.'"
- Jerry Seinfeld

MORAL:
Atmavan mayate jagad - as I see so all the world is. (fallacy)
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The colonel had three Second Lieutenants eligible for promotion. The problem was, he only had one First Lieutenant Slot available. The colonel called the first butter-bar into his office and said, "This is a promotion test. If I was to tell you that I wanted a flag pole erected in front of Post HQ by 1700, what would you do?"
The first 2nd Looey thought about it for a second, and said, "Sir, I would get a shovel, head for HQ and start digging..."
"You're not ready to be promoted," the Colonel interrupted.
The colonel asked the same question of the next candidate.
"Sir," said the next butter-bar, "I would fill out a CE work order, making sure I made provisions for the appropriate environmental study and..."
"You are definitely not ready to be promoted," the Colonel said.
The Colonel asked the question of the final candidate. Without hesitation, the Lieutenant said, "Sir. I would call the First Sergeant, and say, 'Top, I want a flag pole in front of HQ by 1700!"
"You're ready to be promoted," the Colonel said.
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Kali was having trouble with her computer. So she called Pandu, the computer guy, over to her desk. Pandu clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Kali called after him,
"So, what was wrong?"
And Pandu replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."
A puzzled expression ran riot over Kali's face. "An ID Ten T Error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again??"
Pandu gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?"
"No," replied Kali.
"Write it down," Pandu said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
(She wrote...) I D 1 0 T
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After the christening of his baby brother in church, little five-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quiet.
Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him sobbing.
"What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father.
Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, an-an-and I want to stay with you guys!"
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A devotee went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her relatives Christmas cards.
"What denomination?" asked the postal clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the amazed devotee.
"Well, you'd better give me 50 Catholic, 30 Baptist ones,15 Lutherens, 4 Greek Orthodox,
and 1 Jewish for a Hanukkah card."
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EMPATHY CLASS

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant.

The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad."

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.

"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.

"Exactly," replied the instructor.

To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."

-Submitted by Kristen
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The almighty guru (Indian tale) :

A disciple had such an absolute and unshakable faith in his guru that he was able to climb the highest mountain peaks and cross rivers by walking on the water simply by repeating his guru's name over and over again.
One day the guru saw his disciple walking across a river, and he started to think: "My name is in fact all-powerful. I acquired the strength of the Lord of the universe."
The next day, he rushed to walk across a deep river, simply shouting: "Me! me!"
And he drowned, because he did not know how to swim.

MORAL:This is what happens when we think we are the doer of action, and the enjoyer of the result.
=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=- Did you ever wonder? =-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
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I went to the Missing Persons Bureau.

No one was there.
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(I heard this on radio city UK on Wed'5th Sep'.....Annon-e-mouse)

If you go into a public Library and scream AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Everyone tells you to be Quiet.

If you do it on a plane, everyone joins
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"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty."
- Sacha Guitry
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Strange how people who don't even know their neighbours,
are extremely curious to know if there's extra-terrestrial life.

...there's a moral there if you look for it:
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Son to father:
Pitaji, pitaji (father), last night I had this dream that you gave me a lakh (100,000) of Rupees.

Father to son:
You are such a good boy that you can keep it.
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TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible!
STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
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"Doctor!" whined Vickie. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes."
The physician scratched his head, "Why have you come to me? Have you seen an ophthalmologist?"

"No," replied Vickie, "just spots."
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>(|)<>( The ways of this material world - strange but true )<>(|)
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MAFIA'S ACCOUNTANT

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where's the three million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant doesn't answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where's the three million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf-mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you."

The Godfather says, "Well, ask him where the @#!* money is."

The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the three million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you're talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where the @#!* money is!"

The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "Okay! Okay! The money's hidden in a suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!"

The Godfather says, "Well, what did he say?"
The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

--Submitted by Frank Borsellino
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Aboard an Air India flight from India to America, Grandma Suniti Patel was taking her very first flight. They had only been aloft a few minutes when the old lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping.
The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort.
When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess. "The chewing gum worked fine," she said, "but tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?"
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A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well. He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming. He panicked and started to pray as folk do, "God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop drinking!" Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was getting closer! He prayed again, "God, please get my foot out and I'll stop drinking AND gambling!" Still nothing.....and the train was just seconds away! He tried it one more time, "God please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll quit drinking, gambling, smoking, become vegetarian and having sex with all the women I meet."
Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he was able to dive out of the way, just as the train passed!…

… He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward the sky and said "Thanks anyway God, but I got it out myself."
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A zen master and his disciple were walking on a road in the dead of night.
The master was holding a lantern.
- Master, asked the disciple, is it true that you can see in the dark?
- Yes, it is true.
- Then why do you carry a lantern?
- So that others do not bump into me.
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A story...
And, lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham . Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods, when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And Dot said, "There will be a lot of banging in the land."
And Abraham replied, "It is my most fervent wish that this be so." And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had, at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.
But his success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading.
And the young did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And, lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would only work if you bought Brother William's drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known, "eBay," he said, "We need a name of a service that reflects what we are." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"Whoopee!" said Abraham.
"No, YAHOO!" said Dot Com.
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Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

Jimi Hendrix
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"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns
on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

- Groucho Marx
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The Seven Great Revellations of the Universe:

1 - Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2 - You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

3 - If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

4 - People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5 - No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

6 - When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

7 - There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
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You might like to check out Krishna-conscious jokes - http://vedaveda.com/anglais/joke/deux.html

Also check out the Humour section of the Main Index:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/index.htm
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)<>(|)<>(|)<>( A Grateful Word to our Supporters: )<>(|)<>(|)<
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