New Zealand Hare Krishna Spiritual Resource Network Newsletter16 Archive:
New Zealand Hare Krishna Spiritual Resource Network Newsletter
Number #0016 March-April 2000 A.D. Gaura Purnima - Rama-Navami issue.

This newsletter is best viewed using Courier New 9 font.
)<>(|)<   >(|)<>(
--------------------<    ISKCON ki jaya   >---------------------

_0/\, ( PAMRO & BW to you all)

_0____,   All glories to Srila Prabhupad.

I'd like to Officially welcome everyone who is receiving this
either directly from me or second or third hand from friends to
our Network. Many of you will have had a chance to view our
WWW-site by now - and the feedback has been appreciated. As we
expand the facility of resource more pages will appear, and with
the intent of assisting you all in the smooth execution of your
individual prescribed duties/services/functions in life, we will
keep you updated. We now go out to 800 receivers. I trust that
all is well with everyone by the Mercy of the Lord. However, if
anyone would like to be removed please just send me a message
requesting me to do so, and I will do promptly. If you would like
to be added directly to the mailout please also let me know and
I will do the needful there too. Hare Krishna. =>B-) JTCd
|)<>(|)<>(      The Nectar in this Issue:      )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<

   WWW - news and views: Calendar Updates.
         Gaura Purnima
         PApamochani EkAdasii
         App Ramanujacarya
         RAma Navami - appearance day of Lord Ramachandra

   Deals for members: More amazing deals for everyone.
   Missing Links:  are you here?
   Advertisements: check them out...
   Words of Wisdom - Shastra & Shastrakaras speak:
   (Srila Prabhupad & the previous Acaryas)
   At Grass Roots: topical stuff

   Prasadam Recipes: To slake the thirst of body, mind & soul
   Krishna conscious - Vedikly acceptable jokes:

)<>(|)<>(    On the WWW News and Views:   )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)
The Interactive Vaishnava Calendar page is coming along nicely:

Now you can view the FULL years 1999-2000 & 2000-2001.
Sri Gaura Purnima - the appearance annirversary of Sri Krishna
      Chaitanya Mahaprabhu

Tirubhav Ramanujacarya

Sri Rama Navami - the appearance annirversary of Lord Ramachandra
Check out the Ekadasi pages that are coming together, with links
to every Ekadasi:

PApamochanii EkAdasii
Some interesting Youth and Young devotees / young Hindus sites.
coming off the main index page:
Brahma-Madhwa-Gaudiya-sampradaya's Guru parampara listing:

A Who's Who...... something about everyone - their pastimes,
teachings, mission, etc. Where they fit in on the Calendar.
Y2K update:

Download your Vaishnava Calendar and make a hard copy for this
year ( 2000-2001 AD - 514 Gaurabda ) from our site:

or if you can't do that and you'd like a 2000-2001 Calendar for
your longitude, latitude and time zone anywhere in the world
I can do that for you and e-mail it to you - FREE

You have important news to announce ? You want to attract new
visitors to your site ? You're opening a new site ? You have
products and services to offer, etc.
Please join the Vanaprastha Club at this address:
Lots of NEW links ....HEAPS !!! ...have a surf !
|)<>(|)<>(    Deals available for members::   )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<
       Bhaktapus is no ordinary Octopus
As well as reaching to the eight directions
He also reaches to the zeneth and nadir regions
     ...and to the spiritual realm.
                    ,'  ||   `.
            |\     / ,-.||,-. \     /|
            )o),/ ( ( o )( o ) ) \.(o(
           /o/// /|  `-'\/`-' |\ \\\o\
          / / |\ \(   .    ,   )/ /| \ \
          | | \o`-/    `\/'    \-'o/ | |
          \ \  `,'              `.'  / /
       \.  \ `-'  ,'|   /\   |`.  `-' /  ,/
        \`. `.__,' /   /  \   \ `.__,' ,'/
         \o\     ,'  ,'    `.  `.     /o/
  jgs     \o`---'  ,'        `.  `---'o/
           `.____,'  bhaktapus `.____,'

Bhakta-pus is now reaching out with his arms to find deals, and
make advantages for devotees who want to use our network. As new
things happen and become available we'll keep y'll informed
about discounts and how to have access to them - what to do.

This is a totally free service, we have worked hard to organise it
please make good use of it for you development of Krishna Seva.
Is an importing company designed to raise funds for the Wellington
Hare Krishna temple. Run by Mohan bhai Maror it can supply you with
all your devotional instruments at a reasonable price.

Mridangas, Harmoniums, Vinas, Sitars, Tablas, Ektars, Guitars,
Violins, Tambouras, Sarod, Esaraj, ...special requests ordered.

For more information contact Mohan bhai on (04)478-6804
or Jagdish on (04) 478-1414.     mailto:<>

Made by devotees for devotional needs.

...the best cooking pots on the market, used by Iskcon temples,
and Food For Life centres all over New Zealand, and numerous
hotels, restaurants, and catering organisations, various sizes
available on demand, copper bottomed, no pot too big or too
small, fryers - view this page and contact HRK at Hamilton.

or send an e-mail HERE requesting for more information:
The Fourth R - Computer Training

Training in all Microsoft products; e-mail essentials; web-publishing
Hamilton St, Tauranga

Mike Hawkins (07) 577-0300

Mention our name and get preferential treatment.
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|)<>(|)<>(    Bringing together missing links:   )<>(|)<>(|)<>(
          Place your info' here:
/HH\.M|   Programs in Palmerston North:
HMHH\.|       Bh Adam and Bhn Mary's Ph. 06 353 0108.
\\HMHH\    There's chanting, a discussion and prasadam.
HH\HMHH\    Books and chanting beads are available.
    \HMHH\-HHH\  Bhaktine Anne (of Glen and Anne - Masterton)
     \HMHH\.HHM\   is presently compiling an Ekadasi Cookbook
      \HMHH\.HMH\   if members have any recipies for the book
      |\HMHH\\HMH\   or suggestions please send to her at their
      |H\HHH| \HMH\    address:  mailto:<>
      |MH\H/   \HMH\
      |MH\      \HMH\    View Ahimsa's Revamped web-page:
       \HMH\    __|HM|
        \HMH\  /HH\.M|          What Else You May Well Ask?
         \HMH\ |MHH\.|
          \HMH\\HMHH\|     If you have anything that you would
           \HMH\\HMHH\        like to share or request, that can
            \HMHH\HMHH\         be placed in this spot. You know
             \HHHH\HMHH\          where to send it.
                    \HMHH\   mailto:<>
                     \HMHH\.HMH\           or alernately
                     |\HMHH|\HMH       mailto:<>
                     |H\HMH/ \HM
        jgs          |MH\H/   \H
                     |MH\      \   WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN
                     \HMH\             YOUR NEWSLETTER ???
<>(|)<>(|)<>(  Advertisements:  )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)
       Make Money for You or Your Project 4 Nothing.
     To turn a friend on to this mailing, go to:          .------.            /  .     \       |\_/|     |
                                                        |   |    /|
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 /  .-.                                                           |
|  /   \                                                          |
| |\_. | |
|\|  | /|                                                         |
| `---' |            Please take a moment to have a look          |
|       |                                                         |
|       |                                                        /
|       |-------------------------------------------------------'
\       |
 \     /                  Deals 4 Devotees

Kamalaya mataji from Auckland has a great deal for all
of us ALL over New Zealand.

Great Savings on Computer Products through macroSCOPE Ltd, I am now
able to offer my friends and business associates some buying
opportunities.  MacroSCOPE has dealer accounts with several major
suppliers of Computer Software, Hardware, Faxes, Modems and

Check out our site, maybe we have something for you!
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Earn money as you and your friends surf the Web.


Loi Bazaar - the virtual marketplace - a great resource centre:
***PRESS RELEASE***  Sangam TV - Auckland

     9pm, Friday 24 March
>Sangam TV returns to Triangle Television with a series of interviews
>featuring current cabinet ministers addressing the concerns of new
>Sangam TV producer Rakesh Dhody says he intends to feature all cabinet
>ministers on the programme during the months of March, April and May.
>Mr Dhody says his programme will invite viewers, who are mainly immigrants
>from South Asia, the Middle East and Fiji, to contribute questions for the
>"We are particularly interested in questions pertaining to the problems of
>minority ethnic groups," says Mr Dhody. "Issues such as immigration,
>education, health, unemployment, transport, housing  and the taxation
>policies of the new government are of particular concern to these people."
>The first programme in this series [9pm Friday 3 March] featured the Prime
>Minister Helen Clark, Minister of Ethnic Affairs and Police George Hawkins
>and Minister of Transport and Housing Mark Gosche. Opposition National
>Party was represented by Dr. Wayne Mapp, Member of Parliament, North Shore.
>The second programme in this series (9 pm, March 24) features Minister of
>Corrections - Courts and Arms Control Matt Robson, Minister of Women's
>Affairs & Youth Affairs Laila Harre, Minister of Justice, Foreign Affairs
>and Trade Phil Goff. Opposition National Party is being represented by
>Richard Worth, Member of Parliament of Epsom.
>"I have a strong feeling that minority ethnic groups will benefit highly
>from these programmes," says Mr Dhody.
>"We intend to rebroadcast the interviews of all the ministers in September,
>October and November and review the performance of each ministry."
for more information mailto:"Competent Media (N.Z.) Ltd." <>
(|)<>(   Words of Wisdom - Shastra & Shastrakaras speak:  )<>(|)<>(
 jgs                        __..._   _...__
                       _..-"      `Y`      "-._
                       \  Om namo  | bhagavate /
                       \\          |          //
                       \\\    VAsudevAya    ///
                        \\\ _..---.|.---.._ ///
                          '`               `'

On-line Bhagavad Gita As It Is:
"When we stop blaming others for the pain they seem to cause us
and understand our role in causing our own karma and when we see
our powerlessness against the material energy we will become more
dependent on Krishna. Then the material energy will become spiritual
in our hands. Instead of dragging on further into material life,
our happiness and distress will clearly be in Krishna consciousness.
Rather than causing our pain our predicaments and perplexities will
provide us another chance to meditate on Krishna and that will make
us happy." (Satswarup dasa Goswami. BTG November-December 1997. page 11.)
eGroups DAILY DIGEST: vediculture covering all manner of topics:

View the full archives, subscribe/unsubscribe, use the
group calendar at
For your transcendental pleasure: Padma Productions online
catalog and website for incredible nectar songs and poems featuring
Dravida Prabhu - check out "Sri Caitanya-candramrta," "Summary of
Lord Caitanya's pastimes," and "Siksastaka" :

Once upon a time, there lived a crippled man.  This man was married,
but he was attracted to the prostitute that lived in the house opposite.
One day his wife saw him looking very morose.  "What's wrong, my
dear husband?" she inquired.  "Even though I am married to you,"
he replied, "I am attracted to the prostitute.  I am asking you to
make an arrangement for me."  So being a very chaste and obedient
wife, she wished to fulfil her husband's desire, and she began going
to the prostitute's house when no-one was home, and clean there.
After a while this prostitute noticed, "Someone is cleaning my house.
I am not asking anyone to do this, so I wonder who it could be?"  So
one day the prostitute stayed back, and after some time the crippled
man's wife came and began cleaning.  The prostitute approached her
and said, "Why are you doing this?"  She replied, "My husband is
very attracted to you, and he wants to meet with you, but we are
very poor, and cannot afford to pay.  So instead I am offering some
service.  The prostitute said, "Very well, send him over tonight."
That night the prostitute prepared a sumptuous feast of rice, dal,
sabji etc, and she served a portion of each of these preparations
onto two plates, one gold and one silver.  When the man arrived,
she requested him to partake of the food she had prepared him.
"Please take from the silver plate.," she told him.  After he had
finished all the food on the silver plate, the prostitute told him
to take from the gold plate.  When he had finished, the prostitute
inquired from the man, "Now, did you taste the difference?"
Surprised, the man replied, "What difference?  These are exactly
the same preparations, only served on different plates.  You must
be crazy!"  "No, you are the crazy one!" the prostitute returned.
"You are thinking that there is more enjoyment in my body than
there is in your wife's body, but actually the ingredients are
the same.  Only the covering is different."
To illustrate the foolishness of becoming a blind follower, there
is a story about the death of Sargal Singh.  Sargal Singh was very
much loved by a merchant, and so when Sargal Singh died, the merchant
shaved his head and wore dark clothes.  When another man came into
the merchant's shop, he asked who had died.  "Sargal Singh has died,"
said the merchant.  The visitor did not want to seem ignorant and so
did not ask who Sargal Singh was, but he also shaved his head and
wore dark clothes.  Other people in town began to follow, not
wanting to appear ignorant.  When anyone asked who had died, they
replied, "Sargal Singh has died."  When a minister of the king saw
so many citizens in mourning he also wore dark clothes and shaved
his head.  But when the king saw this, he inquired, "Why are you
mourning, and for whom?"  "Sargal Singh," the minister replied.
The king asked, "Who is that?"  When the minister couldn't answer
the king told him to find out.  The minister then inquired and
inquired and finally reached the merchant.  "Who is Sargal Singh?"
The merchant replied, "Sargal Singh was my donkey, whom I loved
very much."
MORAL:  Blind following is condemned here.

His Holiness the Supreme Pontiff Pope John Paul of the Catholic
Church has admited responsibility for, and asked forgiveness for
the sins of the Catholic Church over the past 2000 years.

One of the seven categories he asked forgiveness for was the forced
conversion of natives in various continents, where the church
propergated colonialism, etc. He also asked that forgiveness be
given for sins comminted against other cultures by the colonialists.

I saw this on New Zealand's TVOne Network News at 18:00 hrs, and
again on NZTV Three at 10:30pm again on the 13th of March 2000.

American Broadcastng Corporation (ABC):

BBC - British Broadcasting Corporation:

To me this is a major step in the re-establishment of Vedic
culture in the modern world.

For so many years the Catholic Church has sponsored the forced
conversion, misrepresentation of historical events and doctoring
of religious scriptures to futher their own ends in the spreading
of Christianity in the new world (the colonies - USA, South
America, India, Africa, Australia, New Zealand, etc., etc).

Thousands have been harmed, tortured, and even killed in the name
of Christianity that uphold the ten commandments as its epitaph.

Cultures have been purposefully blasphemed, misprepresented,
mispresented, ruined, or near removed, being replaced by church
sponsored zelots waving their Christian banner.

There is now a rennaisance of presentations of reality around
the world revealing the herasies that have been done.

Teachings presented by unscrupulous persons such as the church
sponsored Max Muller, a person who's books are now found and
taught in every university world wide, even in India.

Now let it be declared boldly who are the true representatives
of Vedik culture. Some of the great proponants that I know of
are; Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur (Kedarnath Datta), Srila
Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur Prabhupada (Siddhanta Saraswati),
Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada - they stand bodly
among their volumes of works, purely chaste to the Vedik view.

You might like to see a few sites in relation to the above topic
on our resource network:
A deaf man used to call his wife.  She would reply, "I am coming,"
but the deaf man could not hear her.  He used to think, "This woman
is deaf."  In actuality, he was deaf, but he accused her of being
MORAL: This is similar to the mass of people who are brainwashed by
material illusion and yet who accuse the Krsna conscious persons of
being brainwashed.
Here's some amazing links that we've put together to help those of
you that either travel, or need access to shastra on your system but
may not have all the books available - now you have:

Heaps of downloadable FREE devotional books.
For all your shastric / scriptural needs:
|)<>(|)<>(       At Grass Roots:     )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(

                     _(_)_                          wWWWw   _
         @@@@       (_)@(_)   vVVVv     _     @@@@  (___) _(_)_
        @@()@@ wWWWw  (_)\    (___)   _(_)_  @@()@@   Y  (_)@(_)
         @@@@  (___)     `|/    Y    (_)@(_)  @@@@   \|/   (_)\
          /      Y       \|    \|/    /(_)    \|      |/      |
       \ |     \ |/       | / \ | /  \|/       |/    \|      \|/
         |//   \\|///  \\\|//\\\|/// \|///  \\\|//  \\|//  \\\|//

If you have any news, events, functions, deals, etc., that you would
like to share with members then please do so by sending what you have
to us, we can pass them on in the next newsletter.

Check out this page:

Sri Nrsimhadev Martial Arts - Carterton, Wairarapa.

The Martial Arts Dojo that is centred around spiritual understanding
and development   contact mailto:<>

Presently Kaviraj Dr Liladhar Gupta the Ayurvedik physician from
Vrindavan India is in Auckland.
He is contactable for consultations through the Auckland temple:
Phone: (09)-412-8075

From 18th March he will be in Wellington.

Please contact Jagdish for details (04)-478-1414.
After some nice discussion with some of our younger devotees we have
made a forum to inspire and assist the youth and young adults in their
development of Krishna consciousness, as well as their devotee

Please check out the page at:

If you have any suggestions, things to add you are welcome to do so.

Now we have some pages for you to check out... and interact with.
|)<>(|)<>(       Prasadam Recipies:          )<>(|)<>(|)<>(|)<>(
Potatoes With Black Pepper (Bengali aloo)

Serves 4
5 medium potatoes
4 tbls veg. oil
3/4 tsp salt
1-1 1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper (a slightly coarse grind is best)
2 tbls very finely chopped fresh coriander or parsley, optional

Boil unpeeled potatoes and allow to cool completely. (Refrigerated day
old boiled potatoes work very well for this dish.) Peel potatoes and
cut into 3/4 inch dice.  Heat oil in a frying pan over medium
flame. When hot put in potatoes and stir around for a minute. Sprinkle
in salt and mix gently. Cover and cook over medium-low flame for about
5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Now add black pepper and mix
gently. Cook, uncovered, for another few minutes over a medium flame,
stirring now and then and allowing them to brown slightly.  Sprinkle
in fresh coriander. Mix and serve hot.
                    (from Madhur Jaffrey's Indian Cooking)

Bahama Avocado Dip

2 cups finely minced walnuts
2 teaspoons bread crumbs
1 teaspoon hing (asofatida)
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/4 cup extra-virgin Greek Olive Oil
1/3 cup cider-vinegar (non-alcoholic of course)
1 cup avocado puree from fresh crushed avacados
 (keep the pip in there to stop going brown or black)
1 tablespoon yogurt or (vegetarian no-egg mayonnaise)
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1/8 cup cold water


Place nuts, bread crumbs, hing,
cayenne pepper, salt and paprika in bowl and mix together.
Mix in oil and vinegar; add avocado puree.
Add yogurt or (vegetarian no-egg mayonnaise).
Blend well and thin with water as needed.
Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Yield: 3 cups  (multiply to your needs)

Potato pakora:


1 cup self raising flour
1 cup channa (or pea) flour
1 cup maida (white) plain flour
handful rice flour

2 tsp roasted cummin seeds (crushed)
2 tsp tumeric powder
1 tsp hing
1/2 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp salt

Ghee or oil for frying in a wok

Take five or so good sized potatoes
cut them in three slices length-ways
and now cut them again three times length-ways to make like sticks.

in a bowl take the dry ingredients; flours, spices and salt.
mix together in the bowl and add water gradually until it makes
a good batter mix. This should be so you can dip your finger in
and take it out and the batter sticks to it evenly without
running off. If it runs off add little more flour and mix.
Let this finished batter stand for half an hour.
Then add the handful of rice flour and mix - the rice flour
will make the batter MORE crispy.

Fry until golden brown in a medium hot wok or pot fryer.
serve hot.


1/2 cup (1 stick) 30% less fat margarine or butter
1 cup self-rising flour
1/2 cup sugar, divided
3/4 cup nonfat milk (for you non-fatties)
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups fresh blueberries
1/2 cup water
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350F degrees (equ C.).
Melt margarine in a shallow 1-1/2 quart baking dish.
Combine flour, 1/4 cup sugar, milk and vanilla in mixing bowl;
pour evenly over melted butter or margarine.

Combine berries, remaining 1/4 cup sugar
(which has been combined with cinnamon & nutmeg) and water.
Spoon evenly over flour mixture. Do not stir.

Bake 40 to 45 minutes, until bubbling and top is golden brown.
Preparation Time: 25 minutes
Servings: 6
serve hot or cold.

Dhaniya Mongodi

250G/9 oz Taaza Dhania / Coriander (roughly chopped)
150g/5 oz Mongodi (Urad Daal)
Cooking Oil to deep fry Mongodi
25g/2 tbsp. Desi Ghee/Clarified Butter
4g/2 tsp Zeera / Cumin Seeds
20g/2" piece Ginger (finely chop)
120ml/ ½ cup Yoghurt
9g/1 tbsp. Dhania / Coriander Powder
3g/1 tsp Haldee/Turmeric Powder
120g/ ¼ lb Tomato Puree (canned)
2.25g/ ¾ tsp Black Pepper (freshly roasted & coarsely ground)
0.75g/ ¼ tsp. Chotti Elaichi / Green Cardamom Powder
A generous pinch of Kasoori Methi/ Dried Fenugreek Leaf Powder.
 Serves : 4

Preparation Time:30 minutes
Cooking Time:15 minutes.


The Mongodi: Heat oil in a kadhai / wok, add the mongodi and
deep-fry until golden. Remove to absorbent paper to drain excess
fat and then reserve in a panful of water until ready to cook.

The Yoghurt Mixture: Put yoghurt in a bowl, add coriander, red
chillies, turmeric and salt and whisk to mix well.

1.Heat ghee in a kadhai/wok, add cumin seeds, stir over medium
heat until they begin to pop, add hing and ginger pastes and
bhunno/stir-fry until the moisture evaporates.
2.Remove handi/pan from heat, stir in the yoghurt mixture,
return handi/pan to heat, bhunno/stir-fry until specks of fat
begin to appear on the surface.
3.Then add chopped coriander, bhunno/stir-fry for a minute,
add tomato puree, and bhunno/stir-fry until the fat leaves the sides.
4.Now add mogodi, and bhunno/stir-fry until the coriander
 nappes the mongodi. Sprinkly pepper, green cardamom and kasoori
methi powders, stir, remove and adjust the seasoning.
 To Serve

Remove to a service dish, garnish with coriander and serve
with Tandoori Roti (thick Punjabi roti), Phulka or Poori

PURI / POORI ~ This is a Deep-fried puffed bread

Whole meal flour 400 gms.
Oil or ghee 2 tsp.
Oil or ghee for deep frying -
Salt to taste (1 tsp)

1. Sieve flour with salt. Add water to make a hard dough by kneading it well.
2. Cover it with a wet cloth and leave it for 15 minutes.
3. Divide into 20 equal portions. Shape them into balls.
4. With the help of a rolling pin roll it into thin discs.
5. Heat oil in a Kadhai . Deep-fry the pooris in hot oil for a minute,
    turn the side and fry till it is puffed and golden in colour.

serve hot.
Luchi Poori - Bengali pooris:

500 grms white flour (maida)
4 tsp ghee or oil
Salt to taste (1 tsp)

Oil or ghee for deep frying.

Follow the same steps as above.
Often they are rolloed out into shapes like tongues rather
than into round disks when fried.

serve hot.

These and OVER 100 other EGGLESS CAKE recipies can be found
on our Main index and on many other pages.
...and the Magic ingredient - Offer it to Krishna........
...with L'n D (love and devotion)

Check out heaps of information on Vegetarianism, Prasadam-ism,
download books, Vegetarian Recipie programs, and more.

NEW - an amazing vegetarian souce guide:
A Beginners Guide to Vegetarianism:
)<>(|)<>(  Krishna Conscious - Vedikly acceptable Jokes:  )<>(|)<
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his
father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of
the car.

His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring
your grades up, study your bible a little, and get your hair
cut, then we will talk about it."

A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if
they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought
your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you
didn't get hair cut!"

The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know dad, I've
been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses
had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long

His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they
No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn.  I
sometimes wonder how we manage to communicate at all!

The bandage was wound around the wound.

There was a row among the oarsmen about to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

This singer had to record the record.

from Kim

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an
older priest to sit in on his sessions.  The new priest hears a
couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the
confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub
your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest
suggests, "Try saying things like, "I see, yes, go on, and I
understand.  How did you feel about that?'"

The new priest says those things, trying them all out.

The old priest then says to him, "Now, don't you think that's a
little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No kidding, then
what happened next?'
"Do you believe in life after death?"  the boss asked one of his

"Yes, Sir."  the new recruit replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on.
"After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral,
she stopped in to see you."
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was
speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet!!!" snapped the officer.  "...or I'm going to let you cool
off in jail until the chief gets back."
"But officer, I just wanted to say...."
"And I said KEEP QUIET!  Now you're going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer checked up on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding.  He'll be in
a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," said the man in the cell. "I'm the groom!"

(from Suzy)
Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of
them kept complaining of family problems.

Finally, the other man said, "You think you have family problems?
Listen to my situation. A few years ago I met a young widow with a
grown-up daughter and we got married. Later my father married my
stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my
father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother -in-law of
her father-in-law.

"Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy
was my half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was
also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's
grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister
of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother.

"This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose
stepsister is my father's wife. I'm my stepmother's brother-in-law,
my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and
I'm My own grandfather! And you think you have family problems!"

Reminds me of when Suhotra maharaj was in Melbourne circa 1987.

There was some discussion regarding some estranged matches and
relationships that had been made at Murwillumbah around the time,
where one person had left one relationship to join another and
there were children in families by several fathers.

Disapprovingly Suhotra maharaj made the comment how he could
follow the geneological tables of the Mahabharata quite easily,
but Murwillumbah, well........
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in
a restricted area.

The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.

"They should not put up such misleading notices," said Banta Singh,

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=- Did you ever wonder? =-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
FACT - An elephant can smell water three miles away.
One day, a girl walk to her mother and look at her mother's hair and
sadly said:  "Why are some of your hair white mom?"

The mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.

The girl thought about this revelation a while, and then said, "Momma,
how come *all* of grandma's hairs are white?"
>(|)<>( The ways of this material world - strange but true )<>(|)<
Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower', because
in the time when all original print had to be set in individual
letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of
the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
If as some say, only the good die young then what does that say
about senior citizens?
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