Newsletter Number #124 -  issue ( February 2004 A.D.)

ki jaya


Please Accept My Respectful Obeisances & Best Wishes To All


All Glories To Srila Prabhupad.

/ \ All Glories to Sri Guru and Gauranga.

Welcome to the latest re-vamped edition of the on-line HKSRNewsletter, and our humble attempt to render some service. As you can see we've changed the format, and everything is here hyper-linked on-line, we hope it's now easier for you all. This newsletter now goes out to way over 2108 receivers. I trust that all is well with everyone by the Mercy of the Lord. However, if anyone would like to be removed please just send me a message requesting me to do so, and I will do it promptly. If you are receiving this from a friend, and would like to be added directly to the mailout please also let me know and I will do the needful there too. Removal and Subscription details at the very end of this newsletter.
Hare Krishna. =>B-) JTCd

The Nectar in this Issue

IN THIS ISSUE: (click on the hyper-linked underlined below to jump there...)
WWW - news and views: Calendar Updates & Events - Festivals, Feasts, Fasts & Functions:

See the events on Interactive Calendar site for details:
Have you got your Vaishnava Calendar for 2004-2005 ???
....ours is now on-line.

Download the Vaishnava Calendar software VCAL 4.01

Local temples

Words of Wisdom - Shastra & Shastrakaras speak:
... (Srila Prabhupad & the previous Acharyas)
... Verses
... Articles - Topical links
... Vedik revival - Vedik World Heritage

Advertisements - what's on where: check them out...
... Ayurvedic health - and seminars
... Fire Safety - Water Safety - Internet Safety
... FREE CD Rom
... Sri Shalagram Tirtha Pradarshini web-site and new newsletter
... Vegetarianism and Beyond site gets re-vamped
... Gaura's Place - Hamilton
... Gaura Yoga - Wellington
... Gauranga's in Tauranga
... The new Auckland Temple now open
... and much more

At Grass Roots: Topical stuff
... Happy New Year - Gaurabda 517

Prasadam Recipes: To slake the thirst of body, mind & soul
... some really useful Vege links and support
... inspiring Vegetarian articles
... Vegetarian Cheeses - new page (try the Kapiti Stilton or Parmesan...)(updated)
... check out the new Ekadasi recipes link
... 101 reasons to be a vegetarian
... FREE Meet your Meat CDRoms
... visit our Vegetarianism and Beyond Award winning web-site
... Kurma's new web-site
... The Meatrix

Krishna conscious - Vedikly acceptable jokes:
... cut loose have a laugh
... serious therapy in humour !!!
... did U ever wonder -  Ways of the world - Strange but true

Thanx 2 our sponsors and supporters:
... sponsorship and support
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... donations welcome

On the WWW News, Events and Views

New Zealand Hare Krishna
Spiritual Resource Network
Check Out Our Main-index page
Easier to Navigate - Faster Loading
Lots of NEW links ....HEAPS !!! New Format & Layout ...have a surf !
NZ Hare Krishna Spiritual Resource Network Main Index:

Archana, Articles, Astrology, Audo files, Books, Calendars, Community, Downloads, E-cards, Education, Family, Food For Life, Harenama, Health, InterFaith, Iskcon, Jesus, Krishna, Lofts, Maori, Marketplace of the Holy name, Meditation, New Zealand centres, Prasadam, Questions, 4 Regulative Principles, Self Help, Srila Prabhupada, Temples world-wide, Varnashram Dharm, Vedik Culture, Vegetarianism & Beyond, Weather, X-poses, Yoga, Youth Forums, Z-free Internet access.......

...and H-E-A-Ps more.

So much more to be found there too... HEAPS of New sites/links
updated last on 15th December 2003

The Interactive Vaishnava Calendar page of Fasts, Festivals, Functions and Feasts. ( )

Now you can view the FULL years 1999-2000 & 2000-2001 & 2001-2002 & 2002-2003 & 2003-2004 & 2004-2005.
All Calendar entries are explained - Appearance or Disappearance
days, festivals, fasts, feasts, etc.

View previous years festival dates on the Calendar:

Calender for 2003-2004 now available on-line:
Now available 2004 - 2005 Vaishnava Calendar starts March 2004

Fasting 4 Trisprsa Mahadwadasi fasting for Vijaya Ekadasi (Fasting from Beans and Grains - 17th February 2004 in NZ)

Sri Ishvara Puri - Tirubhav

Srila Jagannath Dasa Babaji - Tirubhav

Sri Rasikananda Goswami - Tirubhav

Srila Tamal Krishna Goswami - Tirubhav (21st February 2004 in NZ)

Srimati Vrindavanesvari devi dasi - Tirubhav (21st February 2004 in NZ)

Sri Purushottam Dasa Thakura  - Avirbhav

Fasting 4 Amalaki Ekadasi (Fasting from Beans and Grains - 3rd March 2004 in NZ)

Sri Madhavendra Puri - Tirubhav

Holi - Holika

Sri Gaura Purnima (Fasting 'til Moonrise - 7th March 2004) ( Ekadasi style breakfasting - non-grain )
Appearance Day of Sri Krishna Chaitanya Mahaprabhu 518 Gaurabda

Festival of Jagannath Misra - Jata Karman Samskara

Sri Srivas Pandit - Avirbhav

Mina Sankranti (Sun enters Pisces)

Next years also now available for viewing:

Check out the Ekadasi pages with links to every Ekadasi:
(also find out from Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur Prabhupada what is, and what constitutes a mahadwadasi)
Find out about Dwadasi and Mahadwadasi here:


kasmad ekadasi jata tasyah ko va vidhir dvija
kada va kriyate kim va phalam kim va vadasva me

ka va pujyatama tatra devata sad-gunarnava
akurvatah syat ko dosa etan me vaktum arhasi

"Oh Gurudeva! When did Ekadasi take birth and from whom did she appear? What are the rules of fasting on the Ekadasi? Please describe the benefits of following this vow and when it should be followed. Who is the utmost worshippable presiding deity of Sri Ekadasi? What are the faults in not following Ekadasi properly? Please bestow your mercy upon me and tell about these subjects, as you are the only personality able to do so."

Find out what was said HERE:

Download your Vaishnava Calendar and make a hard copy for this
present year ( 2003-2004 AD - 517 Gaurabda ) from our site:
coming year ( 2004-2005 AD - 518 Gaurabda ) from our site:

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Words of Wisdom - Shastra & Shastrakaras speak

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Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya

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33 Books Online Including Srimad Bhagavatam!

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On-line 1972 McMillan edition - Bhagavad Gita As It Is:

Bhagavad Gita AS IT IS on-line through the Tirupathi Balaji site:

Bhagavad Gita Study guide on-line book:

Bhagavad Gita Study guides by numerous Iskcon devotees - FREE downloads:

All the Scriptures you'd ever need 4 FREE

last updated 4th August 2003

Srimad Bhagavad Gita AS IT IS

Bhagavad Gita chapter:16 The Divine and Demoniac Natures, TEXT 10

                         kamam asritya duspuram
                         mohad grhitvasad-grahan
                        pravartante 'suci-vratah

   kamam--lust; asritya--taking shelter of; duspuram--insatiable; dambha--of pride; mana--and false prestige; mada-anvitah--absorbed in the conceit; mohat--by illusion; grhitva--taking; asat--nonpermanent; grahan--things; pravartante--they flourish; asuci--to the unclean; vratah--avowed.

   Taking shelter of insatiable lust and absorbed in the conceit of pride and false prestige, the demoniac, thus illusioned, are always sworn to unclean work, attracted by the impermanent.

 PURPORT by Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada:
   The demoniac mentality is described here. The demons have no satiation for their lust. They will go on increasing and increasing their insatiable desires for material enjoyment. Although they are always full of anxieties on account of accepting nonpermanent things, they still continue to engage in such activities out of illusion. They have no knowledge and cannot tell that they are heading the wrong way. Accepting nonpermanent things, such demoniac people create their own God, create their own hymns and chant accordingly. The result is that they become more and more attracted to two things--sex enjoyment and accumulation of material wealth. The word asuci-vratah, unclean vows, is very significant in this connection. Such demoniac people are only attracted by wine, women, gambling and meat-eating; those are their asuci, unclean habits. Induced by pride and false prestige, they create some principles of religion which are not approved by the Vedic injunctions. Although such demoniac people are most abominable in the world, by artificial means the world creates a false honor for them. Although they are gliding toward hell, they consider themselves very much advanced.

 - His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

Bhagavad Gita As It Is -

View our Bhagavad Gita Overview:

Copyright 1983 The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International. Used with permission.

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Prabhupada Uvacha:
(here's some nectar, sometimes it comes in the form of Srutakirti prabhu's diary, other times from Govind dasi's diary, or sometimes from a letter, but still nectar...)


During a wintertime visit to Japan, Prabhupada stayed in a cottage where the walls were made of paper. The landlord supplied a kerosene heater, but it only warmed a small area. Prabhupada wrapped himself in his gray wool chadar and went on translating the Bhagavatam through the cold early-morning hours, but he remarked that it was very uncomfortable. When devotees went to the landlord and asked for a second heater, the landlord's wife objected. The landlord finally found a spare second heater, but the kerosene fumes made the room too stuffy. In addition, the house was filled with a bad odour. In that neighbourhood there was an open sewage system: a truck was supposed to come by with a vacuum cleaner and suck out the contents of the stool pits. But the truck hadn't been there in over a week. In anxiety that their spiritual master was suffering much inconvenience, the devotees went to the landlord and pleaded with him to do something about the stench. The man was humble and accommodating, and he respected Prabhupada as a spiritual leader. He agreed to clean out the pits himself, using hand buckets. But the landlord's wife again objected that her husband should make such an extraordinary humiliating effort to accommodate Srila Prabhupada. The man did it anyway, and the bad odour disappeared.
    On Prabhupada's last evening in the paper cottage, he gave a public lecture. The house had one floor plus a stagelike mezzanine. The speaker's dias was set on this stage, along with a microphone. The little dwelling was filled with guests, and Srila Prabhupada led kirtana and then began lecturing in English, which at least some of his audience could understand. But in the middle of his talk, the landlord's wife, a small, middle-aged Japanese lady, entered the house and began screaming in anger. A few devotees moved forward to stop her, but she evaded them. She walked up onto the stage beside Srila Prabhupada, making angry gestures and completely disrupting the meeting. Prabhupada asked a guest who she was and what was the matter with her, and he heard that the lady was the landlady and that she was angry that Prabhupada made her husband clean out the stool pits. When he understood, Prabhupada broke into a grin. He leaned forward and spoke into the microphone, as if making an announcement. "Japanese landlady," he said, and the audience and devotees relaxed and laughed. It was as if, by two words, Prabhupada had made a philosophical statement, explaining the universal phenomenon of landladies and how they had to be tolerated. After a pause, Prabhupada continued his lecture, and the landlady who had become disarmed by Prabhupada's smiling words, went down the stairs and left the cottage.

- From the Nectar by HH Satsvarupa Dasa Goswami

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Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

...................and be Happy

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Srimad-Bhagavatam 5.5.33
Vrndavana, November 22, 1976

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yah sastra-vidhim utsrjya
vartate kama-karatah
na siddhim sa avapnoti
na sukham na param gatim

"Anyone who does not follow the instruction of the sastras and live whimsically as very free to act, such person never gets perfection of life,
no happiness, and what to speak of going back to home, back to Godhead." (Bhagavad Gita. 16.23)

(To view some of the texts on this newsletter you will need to have the Balaram font installed on your system. You can download it for free HERE and then go to Start, settings, control panel and Fonts and Install New Fonts)

When the mind is completely washed of all material contamination, the pure consciousness acts. The sound vibration from the spiritual sky can automatically cleanse all material contaminations, as confirmed by Caitanya Mahäprabhu: ceto-darpaëa-märjanam [Cc. Antya 20.12]. We need only take the advice of Lord Caitanya Mahäprabhu and chant the Hare Kåñëa mantra to cleanse the mind of all material contamination, and this may be considered the summary of this difficult verse. As soon as the whole material contamination is washed away by this process of chanting, all desires and reactions to material activities become immediately vanquished, and real life, peaceful existence, begins. In this age of Kali it is very difficult to adopt the yogic process mentioned in this verse. Unless one is very expert in such yoga, the best course is to adopt the ways and means of Lord Caitanya Mahäprabhu, çré-kåñëa-saìkértanam. Thus one can gloriously become freed from all material contamination by the simple process of chanting Hare Kåñëa, Hare Kåñëa, Kåñëa Kåñëa, Hare Hare/ Hare Räma, Hare Räma, Räma Räma, Hare Hare. Just as life in this material world has its beginning in material sound, similarly a spiritual life has its beginning in this spiritual sound vibration.
    (Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Srimad Bhagavatam 4.23.17 purport extract.)

The Rabbi and I by Isa dasa

Chapter Twenty-nine


RABBI: Here are two verses from the Holy Torah that mention idol worship: "Cursed is the man who carves an image or casts an idol-a thing detestable to the Lord, the work of the craftsman's hands--and sets it up in secret." [Torah, Duet, Ki Thavo, 27:15] "When I found Israel, it was like finding grapes in the desert; when I saw our fathers, it was like seeing the early fruit on the fig tree. But when they came to Baal Peor, they consecrated themselves to that shameful idol and became as vile as the thing they loved." [Hosea IX: 10] Although God so thoroughly condemned the worship of man-made Gods (idols), I have seen that in Hindu temples such images are worshiped. Our conversations have revealed many similarities between Judaism and Hinduism, yet it appears that on this point we strongly differ.

DEVOTEE: The Vedas also are thoroughly opposed to idol worship, but what you have seen in Hindu temples is not idol worship but rather Deity worship. It is very easy to understand how Deity worship may at first appear as idol worship to a person who is unfamiliar with the principle behind this important devotional process. After all, the form of the Deity is crafted by a man out of some kind of material elements, and that form is later worshipped in the temple with devotion.
In the Vedas, Deity worship is an extremely important devotional process to help us develop love of God. In fact, it is one of the nine general classifications of devotional service mentioned in Sanskrit in the Vedas. It is said,

shravanam kirtanam vishnoh
smaranam päda-sevanam
archanam vandanam däsyam
sakhyam ätma-nivedanam
[Srimad Bhägavatam. 7.5.23]

"Devotional service consists of (1) hearing about the Lord, (2) chanting His glories, (3) remembering Him, (4) serving and meditating upon His lotus feet, (5) worshiping Him, (6) praying to Him, (7) thinking oneself His eternal servant, (8) becoming His friend, and (9) surrendering everything to Him." The fifth process mentioned here, arcanaà, worshipping the Lord, refers to Deity worship.

RABBI: I still do not see the difference. The Torah also says that one should worship the Lord, but the act of worshipping idols as God is condemned. What makes the Hindu's Deity worship any different from the worship of idols so condemned in the Jewish tradition? How can man worship a form that he himself has crafted?

DEVOTEE: The difference is that God authorizes the worship of Deities. For example, if you put mail into an authorized mailbox it will be delivered to the address written on the envelope. But if you drop that mail into some box other than an authorized mailbox, it will not be delivered. Similarly, if you create some form, call it God, and worship it, all according to your own mental concoction, there will be no benefit and your act will be condemned by God. If however, you create a form according to the actual description of God's form given in the revealed scriptures, and if you worship that form according to the rules and regulations given by God in the scriptures, you will achieve excellent results. The result of that worship is love for God.

RABBI: In principle I understand that if God actually authorizes some activity, it must be correct. Still, I have difficulty understanding how a person can learn to love God by worshipping a form that He himself has created. Perhaps my difficulty is that in the Jewish scriptures, I know of no description of God's form that is detailed enough to allow someone to craft a form like it. Also, I am not familiar with any descriptions in the Jewish scriptures about how to worship such a form like a Deity. Such worship is repeatedly condemned as idolatry.

DEVOTEE: The Torah may not give a clear and detailed description of the form of God, but the Vedas do. The Vedas also give a very detailed description of the method of Deity worship. The principle is that if you want to love God, you must be able to develop some personal relationship with Him. As we have discussed several times, the purpose of religion is to develop love of God. Service to God is the symptom and means to that love. In our impure state, we are not qualified to see the original spiritual form of God and to worship Him. By His mercy He has agreed to appear in the form of His Deity. Therefore, the whole process of Deity worship gives us an opportunity to practice serving God. As the devotee renders continuous and regulated service to the Deity according to the methods authorized in the scriptures, the impurities of our heart gradually become cleansed and our natural loving relationship with the Lord is manifest. Without being able to relate to God in some personal way there is no question of learning to love Him, even though He is all pervading and can accept our offering any time or place.

RABBI: Your explanation helps me have a clearer understanding of Hindu Deity worship. As I was listening to your explanation, I remembered one verse I read, along with the commentary of Rabbi Jose. The verse said, "If they be peaceful and likewise many, and they likewise be shorn, then he shall pass away; and though I have affected thee, I will affect thee no more." [Nahum1, 12] [Zohar II, 200b] Rabbi Jose explains this verse thus, "When a people live in peace, and harbor no quarrelsome persons in there midst, God has compassion on them, and rigorous justice is not invoked against them, even though they worship idols. This is in harmony with the verse, "Ephraim is serving idols, let him alone" [Hosea. IV, 17] [Zohar II, 200b] It appears from this verse that the term idol can be used in different ways. Persons who had no faith in God and who were envious of Him preformed the idol worship that was condemned by the Lord. They were people who gave up the authorized worship of God for the worship of an unauthorized, manmade idol. It is said, "They consult a wooden idol and are answered by a stick of wood. A spirit of prostitution leads them astray; they are unfaithful to their God." [Hosea IV, 12][Zohar II, 200b] That kind of worship would never lead to love of God. In fact, it could only lead one away from Him, and thus it was condemned.

DEVOTEE: Yes, Rabbi, I agree with you. The Lord is ultimately interested in the spiritual welfare of everyone. He instructs us to do that which is for our ultimate spiritual benefit and He condemns those activities that are unfavorable for us to develop our love for Him. If we serve the Deity according to the authorized process, then we will be spiritually benefited.

The Rabbi and I by Isa dasa

Chapter Fifteen


DEVOTEE: Lord Krsna is always described as being eternally youthful, with beautiful wavy black hair. Is there a similar description of God in the Jewish scriptures?

RABBI: The Jewish scriptures describe a similar vision of God. "His head is a treasure of fine gold. His locks are hanging, black like the raven." In both Talmudic and Kabbalistic traditions, one of the interpretations is that it relates to a vision of God; "when He is visualized in battle, He is seen as a young man with black hair." [Sefer Yetzirah Ch 6.1]

DEVOTEE: The Vedas also refer to the form of the Lord. In the Srimad-Bhagavatam it is stated, "the Lord is super excellently beautiful on account of His open and merciful smile and His sidelong glance upon His devotees. His black hair is curly, and His garments, waving in the wind, appear like flying saffron pollen from lotus flowers. His glittering earrings, shining helmet, bangles, garland, ankle bells, waist belt and various other bodily ornaments combine with the conch shell, disc, club, and lotus flower to increase the natural beauty of the Kaustubha pearl on His chest." [Bhag. 2.24.47-48] Do the Jewish scriptures make any more references to the form or appearance of God?

RABBI: In the Torah, it is described that when Moses submitted his pleas to God, "Please let me have a vision of Your Glory". God replied, "I will make all My good pass before you, and reveal the Divine Name in your presence. [But still,] I will have mercy and kindness to whomever I desire. You cannot have a vision of My Presence. A man cannot have a vision of Me and still exist." [Torah, Exodus, Ki Thisa 33:18-20] In other words, God is saying that no living creature can see Him. [Torah, Note: 33:20]

DEVOTEE: Similarly, in the Vedas, the form of God is clearly described, but it is also stated that unless God reveals Himself to someone, they cannot see Him. The Brahma-samhita states that without ones eyes being anointed with pure love of God, he cannot see Lord Krsna everywhere. No one can force the Lord to reveal Himself, but simply by loving the Lord, He will reveal Himself to us as He is. According to the Vedas, even within this life, we can see the Lord if we qualify ourselves by loving God. We must simply change our consciousness from material to spiritual.

Sri Stotra-ratna of Sripad Yamunacarya.

na dharma-nistho 'smi na catma-vedi
na bhaktimams tvac-caranaravinde
akincano 'nanya-gatih sharanya
tvat-pada-mulam sharanam prapadya

"I am not a virtuous person, fixed in the principles of religious conduct, and neither am I a great
transcendentalist, awakened to spiritual knowledge. Inaddition to this, I have not the slightest trace of devotion for Your lotus feet. O refuge of the devotees, although I am so unqualified, please permit me to take shelter under your lotus feet, for I am now lost in this material world, I do not possess anything of value, and I have no place to turn."

na ninditam karma tad asti loke
sahasrasho yan na maya vyadhayi
so'ham vipakavasare mukunda
krandami sampraty agatis tavagre

"In this world there is not a single abominable deed that I have not done thousands of times. Now that my sins are bearing fruit, and I have no place to turn, I come before You. I weep and cry out, 'O Mukunda'."

patitam bhima-bhavarnavodare
agatim sharanagatam hare
krpaya kevalam atmasat kuru

"O Lord Hari, please mercifully accept this person who is a storehouse of thousands of offenses, who has fallen into the terrible ocean of repeated birth and death, who has no place to go, and who now begs shelter from You."

Padma Purana (as cited by Madhvacarya in his Brahma-sutra Bhasya 3.1.23) states:

narayana-prasadena samiddha-jnana-caksusa
atyanta-duhkha-samlinan nihsesa-sukha-varjitan
nityam eva tathabhutan vimisrams ca ganan bahun
nirastasesa-duhkhams ca nityanandaikabhaginah
apasyat trividhan brahma saksad eva catur-mukhah

His eyes alight with knowledge by the grace of the Supreme Lord, the four-faced Brahma saw three groups of living entities: 1) those eternally situated in utter suffering, completely deprived of happiness; 2) those who partake in eternal bliss, entirely without suffering; and 3) many classes in between.

"IN EVERY TOWN AND VILLAGE the chanting of the Holy Name of Krishna shall be heard. This was the forecast made by Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu almost 500 years ago in India. Today, as the Hare Krishna Mantra -- Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare -- resounds in Bombay and New York, Nairobi and Sydney, and in Paris and Hong Kong, the prophecy of Lord Caitanya stands fulfilled. The universal import of this "Samkirtan Movement" (the congregational chanting of the Holy Names of the Lord) was expressed by Lord Caitanya as follows:

"Glory to the Sri Krishna Samkirtan which cleanses the heart of all the dust accumulated for years together. Thus the fire of conditional life, of repeated birth and death, is extinguished. The Samkirtan Movement is the prime benediction for humanity at large because it spreads the rays of the benediction Moon. It is the life of all transcendental knowledge, it increases the ocean of transcendental bliss, and it helps us to have a taste of the full nectar for which we are always anxious."

(Every Town & Village, album cover)

What's So Special About Chanting Hare Krishna?
By Stephen Knapp (Sri Nandanandan dasa ACBSP):

38 Years of Krishna Consciousness through Iskcon.........

Very nice articles and numerous links on the About Hinduism web-site.

What is ISKCON ???

Is Iskcon a Cult?

Iskcon and Hinduism

SONGS AND MANTRAS by Vaishnava spiritual masters:

Vaishnava Song Book:

Listen to or Download for FREE numerous other classes on all kinds of inspiring topics by
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Life After Life (A Metamorphisis)
Mysteries of the Sacred Universe
Madhvacarya meets with Srila Vyasadeva
Kurukshetra: Land of the Bhagavad-Gita
Are you a Carnivore?
Meet Your Meat (Warning! Very Graphic)
Near Death Experience
..............and much more.

Agama Tantra and the Vaishnava Samskaras as a way of life:

Recently I was asked, "Don't you find it an inconvenience to always be checking to see when is the right time to do this or the best time for that?"

In simple terms my answer was and still is; if you go to the bus or railway station or airport it is probably an intelligent venture to enquire about the times and routes of vehicles than to just hope that one will be along soon, or one is going in your direction.

There are subtle influences in the Universe that for thousands of years by advanced cultures have honoured, respected and utilised. Before the corruption of the Vedik literatures by the Christian and Moslem invaders to India all these things were used; Ayurvedik Medicine; Vedik Astrology; etc. Today there's a rennaisance among many to revive these arts.

We have been trained and studied to be able to provide these services. See some of my sites:

or contact me directly:

aham kratur aham yajnah
svadhaham aham ausadham
mantro 'ham aham evajyam
aham agnir aham hutam

"But it is I who am the ritual, I the sacrifice, the offering to the ancestors, the healing herb,
the transcendental chant. I am the butter and the fire and the offering."(Lord Krishna, Bhagavad-gita 9.16)

Hare Krishna is NOT "a Cult":
Is ISKCON a Cult or part of the "Hindu Culture" or Something Else?

Hare Krishna is NOT a Cult letter by Kunti dd editor of Hare Krishna World:

Krishna conscious affirmations:

 Always remember Krishna and never forget Him

Join and receive Krishna conscious affirmations:

Topical Articles:
Genetic Engineering ( GE or GM ) -
Environment -
Cloning -
Science -
Cow Protection -
The Four Regulative Principles of Freedom -
seX-files - (updated)
Mundane Knowledge -
Death -
Near Death Experience -
Ghosts -
Reincarnation again here -
Gain some insights in the TV culture  -
The aweful Truth about softdrinks -
Changing the face of the Earth -
UFOs -
Vegetarianism & Beyond -
Articles for newcomers to Krishna consciousness -
Self Help and Motivational pages - Deals and Affiliate programs: -
Myth of the Aryan invasion by Dr. David Frawley: -

.........many other articles -

and from there go to the Main Index

By popular demand - Looking for a devotee husband or wife? -
Devotee Meeting-Place Web site - FREE Service: 


This list is for Bhakti Yoga singles. Those who practice Bhakti Yoga are known as Vaisnavas. This list is therefore called Vaisnava Singles.

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ete cäàça-kaläù puàsaù
kåñëas tu bhagavän svayam
indräri-vyäkulaà lokaà
måòayanti yuge yuge

“All the lists of the incarnations of Godhead submitted herewith are either plenary expansions or parts of the plenary expansions of the Supreme Godhead, but Kåñëa is the Supreme Personality of Godhead Himself.” (Srimad Bhagavatam 1.3.28)

The Devotee List - Iskcon and Gaudiya math(s):
(It's still being developed, and a lot of devotees are not here......)

Vedik World Heritage pages

Visit our pages here and see how in reality the world was and to a greater subtle extent is influenced by the Vedik culture. There was a time when Vedik culture was present throughout the entire planet. In many places the remnants still remain.
Read enlivening articles
See pictures of exhumed relics
Understand conspirital deceptions...
Join the renaissance to rebuild the Golden Age in the Kali-yuga
Find out about Vedik heritage items all around the world.....

Send in your articles and news:

"The religious principles taught by Mohammed and Jesus Christ are similar to the religious principles taught by Vaishnava sects. Buddhism and Jainism are similar to Saiva-dharma. This is scientific consideration of truths regarding religious principles. Those who consider their own religious principles as real dharma and others religious principles as irreligion or subreligion are unable to ascertain the truth due to being influenced by prejudice. Actually religious principles followed by people in general are different only due to the different qualifications of the practitioners, but the constitutional religious principles of all living entities are one." (Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur. Sri Krsna Samhita.)

updated 21st July 2003

See more similar pages and links and

Vedik Culture list

A selection of interesting Krishna conscious articles from New Panihati - Atlanta temple USA:

Paradigms - where things are not all they seem

Krishna conscious Dramas and plays:
A collection of 88 transcendental dramas assembled and presented for the pleasure of
His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada.

Wonderful modern Krishna conscious plays:

These are great for Sunday feasts, or school programs or street presentations, or just for our own understanding.

Read here what Prabhupad says about such plays and dramas:

The Formidable Audio page - Bhajans, Kirtans, Lectures many Iskcon devotees:



Take a minute to let this one sink in. It's worth the read.

Next time your morning seems to be going wrong and the children are slow getting dressed and you can't seem to find the car keys and you hit every traffic light, don't get mad or frustrated; praise God instead because God is at work watching over you.

After Sept. 11 ... I happened to call a man on business that I didn't know and have not, nor will ever, talk to again. But this day, he felt like talking. He was head of security of a company that had invited the remaining members of a company who had been decimated by the attack on the Twin Towers to share their office space. With his voice full of awe he told me stories of why these people were alive and their counterparts were dead ... and all the stories were just 'little' things....

As you might know, the head of the company got in late that day because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident.

One missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.

One went back to answer the telephone.

One had a child that dawdled and didn't get ready as soon as he should have.

One couldn't get a taxi.

There were other stories that I hope and pray will someday be gathered and put in a book.

The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone ... all the little things that annoy me... I think to myself, this is exactly where God wants me to be at that very moment.

May God continue to bless you with all those annoying little things and may you remember their possible purpose.

The Krishna conscious version of the same thing is the story of Gopal Bhan and the king.

Once Gopal, the king's confidential minister/advisor was in one of his funny moods where he was out to prove a point. On this occasion every time anyone said any thing to him he simply replied, "If that's what Krishna has arranged then that's fine by me !"

During the course of the day different persons would come up to him with need of advice, "Gopal what do you think if we build an extension to the palace over there?"

To which he'd reply, "If that's what Krishna has arranged then that's fine by me !"

Another would come and ask, "Hey Gopal do you think if we make next wednesday a public holiday that will be appreciated by the people?", To which he'd reply, "If that's what Krishna has arranged then that's fine by me !"

Then King Krishnachandra came in and asked how things had been going in the kingdom, to which Gopal replied, "everything is going on by Lord Krishna's arrangement and that's fine by me !!!"

The king looked at him a little strangely, but knowing that it was Gopal and sometimes it was difficult to understand Gopal he let it go.

Later that day the king called for Gopal and announced that he was going hunting, and that Gopal is required to come, to which Gopal replied, "If that's what Krishna has arranged then that's fine by me !"

The king then asked Gopal to pass his sword. As Gopal passed the sword it slipped from it's scabbard and cut off the top of the king's little finger.

The king mildly chastised him saying, "Gopal, please be more careful, look what you have done", To which Gopal surprisingly said, "If that's what Krishna has arranged then that's fine by me !"

"Okay Gopal I've had it with you and your saying that, you're not coming hunting you're going to cool off in the dungeon while I go hunting, what do you think of that?"

"Oh well, if that's what Krishna has arranged for me, then that's fine by me !"

"Guards !!!! Take him to the dungeon !!!"

So the king went off hunting in the forest and Gopal went to jail.

The king and his party had been travelling in the forest a day or so when they were attacked and captured by a band of dacoit followers of the goddess Bhadra-kali who make human sacrifices to Her.

They looked at all the party for someone worthy offering. Obviously the king was in the best condition, so they considered him first. As they began to prepare him one of them noticed that the top of his finger was missing, and thus he was unofferable. They searched the rest of the hunting party and as military men they all had some thing missing, a finger a toe, and ear, etc. Consequently they were all released and the king swiftly returned to his kingdom with his small party.

Upon his return, he went to the Court and noticed the absence of Gopal. He then sent for his trusty minister to be released from the jail and be brought there. Upon Gopal's arrival the king asked him how he was and how he'd been in the jail.

"I'm okay, whatever Lord Krishna arranges for me, that's fine by me !!!"

"Oh Gopal I'd hoped you would have been over that by now...........let me tell you what happened to us....!" and began to tell how they were captured by these wild dacoits........

Gopal immediately said to the king with a smile, "Just see, if that's what Krishna arranged then see how that's fine by me !"

"Gopal you are walking on VERY thin ice here, explain yourself, but this better be good! " the king said.

"Well my dear king, as I was meant to be going with you hunting I am completely satisfied with the arrangement that Krishna made by putting me in jail. You see when the dacoits were looking for someone among  you who was still complete and with nothing missing, well that would have been me, I would have become the offering to goddess Kali, so all I can say, again and again is that's what Krishna has anytime arranged for me having full trust in His wisdom, then that's fine by me !"

Read other stories of the wisdom of Gopal Bhan HERE:

TRUE STORY: may know the wonderful story of "Pigpen" a dirty hippy from Paris who used to come to the Paris temple in the 1970s. He was so filtyh that the devotees would give him prasadam at the door and send him on his way, and this went on for years, he never bathed, slept on the street, and filthy clothes matted hair before it was popular....and stunk.

However, he was so attached to Prabhupad, but was in such a fallen condition that he couldn't help himself.

One day he heard fromt he devotees that Prabhupad was coming to the Paris temple. All the devotees left the temple building to go to the car at the curbside to greet Prabhupad. So Pigpen snuk into the templeroom and hid behind the curtain at the front near the altar. As Prabhupad came forward to greet Radha Parisisvara Pigpen dove at Prabhupad's feet crying loudly "Prabhupad help me save me Prabhupad look at me, help me please please Prabhupad"

Some of the devotees seeing him diving at Prabhupada's lotus feet grabbed him to remove him, but Prabhupad gestured "NO", and allowed Pigpen to stay there sobbing and holding Prabhupada's feet, which for a full five minutes Prabhupad stood there solemly chanting japa; hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare / hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare. Then said "Enough!"

When Pigpen got up he was a different person. Prabhupad told the devotees to clean him up. Indradyumna dasa (now swami) was given the task of making sure Bhakta Pigpen was showered, shaved-up and dressed in dhoti and kurtha, which he duely was.

Indradyumna Swami when telling the story to us mentioned that at that time there was a book marathon going on and amid the excitement to go out and give the mercy to the fallen souls Bhakta Pigpen also asked to go out. However, due to his impared speach due to drugs, and life living rough on the street, maharaj was reluctant to send him, out but hearing his plea did so. In fact he became the biggest book distributer in France from quite some time much to everyone's surprise, and when the devotees asked him what he said to people that convinced them to take a book Pigpen simply said, "Please take this book, it is written by my spiritual master, he saved my life, I was so fallen and wretched, please take one, there's something there that can help you too !" (or words to that effect).
        Maharaj told us that he was at the Mayapur festival in the early 1990s when he heard a familiar thick French accent call out "Hey maharaj", and looking through how time had slightly changed the features of his face maharaj recognised it was "Pigpen" still around after all those years, serving his spiritual master, showing his gratitude to him through humble service.

This story touched my heart, and made me somewhat grateful too, for in our own way many of us were Pigpens too, fallen and wretched. Srila Prabhupad ki jaya, Srila Prabhupada's sankirtan movement ki jaya, trying to show our gratitude ki jaya.

sent in by Shanti Rupa

Historical & Cultural Ties between India & Thailand by Mrs Wanna Sudjit, Cultural Attache to the Thai Consulate Mumbai - the article covers historic links, Indian influence on Thai dance, language and ceremonies. Excerpts from her article are -

 1. The ceremonies of Coronation of Thai kings are practiced more or less in its original form even up to the present reign. The Thai idea that the king is a reincarnation of the Hindu deity Vishnu was adopted from Indian tradition. Though this belief no longer exists today, the tradition to call each Thai king of the present Chakri dynasty Rama (Rama is a reincarnation of Vishnu) with an ordinal number, such as Rama I, Rama II etc. is still in practice.

 2. Thai literature and drama draws great inspiration from Indian arts and legend. The Hindu epic of Ramayana is as popular in Thailand as it is in India. Thailand has adapted the Ramayana to suit the Thai lifestyle in the past and has come up with its own version of the Ramayana, namely, the Ramakien.

 3. Thai language too bears close affinity with Indian An indication of the close linguistic affiliation between India and Thailand can be found in common Thai words like Ratha Mantri, Vidhya, Samuthra, Karuna, Prannee etc. which are almost identical to their Indian counterparts. Thai language basically consists of monosyllabic words that are individually complete in meaning. His Majesty King Ramkhamhaeng the Great created the Thai alphabet in 1283. He modeled it on the ancient Indian alphabets of Sanskrit and Pai through the medium it on the ancient Indian alphabets of Sanskrit and Pali through the medium of the old Khmer characters.

 4.Loy Krathong ­ the Festival of Lights which is celebrated on the full moon night of the twelfth lunar month, when the rainy season has ended and the rivers and streams are filled with water. The floating of lanterns, which began in the Sukhothai period, continued throughout the different stages of Thai history. Prior to setting their krathong afloat, people place in it a lighted candle, incense sticks, flowers, a coin and some food offerings. They make a silent prayer of thanks for the water received, a request for forgiveness for wrongs done, and a wish for the fulfillment of a secret dream. The present day understanding is that the festival is celebrated as an act of worship to Chao Mae Kangka-the Goddess of the Waters for providing the water much needed throughout the year, and as a way of asking forgiveness if they have polluted it or used it carelessly.

5.According to the Thai monk Venerable Buddhadsa Bhikkus writing, Indias Benevolence to Thailand, the Thais also obtained the methods of making herbal medicines from the Indians. Some plants like Sarabhi of Guttiferae family, Kanika or hursinghar, phikun or mimusops and bunnak or the rose chestnut etc. were brought from India. He pointed out that Thai food too was influenced by India. He claimed that Thai people learned how to use spices in their food in various ways from Indians.

cheers & om, share the wealth, sanjeev

See our pages supporting these views HERE:

See more on Darwin and Evolution HERE:

Articles from Back to Godhead Magazine:

Amala Bhakta dasa reciting Srimad Bhagavatam on-line:

Peta Demands Non-Leather Seats for Cars Sold in India

NEW DELHI, INDIA, January 26, 2004: Thanks to a campaign initiated by Peta and supported by Hollywood filmstar James Cromwell and Maneka Gandhi, DaimlerChrysler India now offers a non-leather car seat cover for all its Mercedes Benz models sold in India. However Peta was not satisfied with this victory and the article says, "Peta and Cromwell are taking the campaign against DaimlerChrysler global by calling for a boycott of the automaker until non-leather alternatives are available for every model of the company's cars sold anywhere in the world." Cromwell did, however, give a synthetic leather briefcase to the company's head in India, Hans-Michael Huber, in appreciation for DaimlerChrysler providing a non-leather seat for models sold in India.

from Hinduism today

See more on Vegetarianism HERE

Meat ad insulting to Hare Krishnas, Advertising Standards Authority appeal board rules in favour of Hare Krishnas

You may remember this.............

Krishnas have beef with meat ad',1227,169963-1-7,00.html

See more on Vegetarianism HERE

Fatwa' against cow slaughter

The Hindu, 2. Feb. 2004

NEW DELHI, FEB. 1. The Darululoom in Deoband, a top religious body of Muslims, today issued a "fatwa" (religious order) against slaughter of cows in the country.

A three-member committee of the Darululoom has recommended that Muslims can slaughter animals other than the cow on Id-ul-Azha, according to Maulana Zafarullah.

The BJP and various organisations, including the RSS, welcomed the move and said it was a step in promoting unity and brotherhood between Muslims and Hindus.

The RSS spokesman, Ram Madhav, said the move would resolve the cow slaughter issue peacefully and promote communal harmony in the country.

The BJP spokesman, Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi, said the Darululoom's decision would lead to greater brotherhood between the two communities.

Maulana Mehmood Madni of the Jamiat-Ulema-i-Hind said his organisation had passed a resolution to this effect about a year ago. N.K. Sharma, founder-president of the Universal Association for Spiritual Awareness, welcomed the "courageous" action of the Darululoom.

See more on Vegetarianism HERE

A hermit was meditating by a river when a young man interrupted him. "Master, I wish to become your disciple," said the man. "Why?" replied the hermit. The young man thought for a moment. "Because I want to find God."

The master jumped up, grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, dragged him into the river, and plunged his head under water. After holding him there for a minute, with him kicking and struggling to free himself, the master finally pulled him up out of the river. The young man coughed up water and gasped to get his breath. When he eventually quieted down, the master spoke. "Tell me, what did you want most of all when you were under water." "Air!" answered the man. "Very well," said the master. "Go home and come back to me when you want God as much as you just wanted air."

New Zealand College Offers an Ayurvedic Program

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND, February 1, 2004: A student interested in Ayurvedic medicine now has an option of studying the ancient science of India in New Zealand. Wellpark College, a NZQA-registered tertiary institution, offers a three-year diploma course. Dr. Sebastiano De Mel, an ayurvedic practitioner in Auckland, says, "Outside India and Sri Lanka the Wellpark College diploma is the most comprehensive in terms of the hours and subjects covered in the three years. The study is equivalent to five years in a bachelor's degree in India or Sri Lanka, but in those degrees students don't get taught much of a Western approach to patients." During the first year, students broadly study Ayurveda principles and philosophy. In the second year, students learn how to formulate treatment plans for specific diseases. By the third year, students, under the supervision of qualified practitioners, focus entirely on clinical practise by helping people achieve a balance in their lives by changing diet and lifestyle. Jamila Knopp, who completed the program in 2003 says, "It is a difficult course. You have to be committed. There's lots of Western medical stuff to learn as well, such as anatomy, physiology, pathology. The Ayurvedic side of the course is very challenging because you have to study Sanskrit and know a lot of terminology and herbs." After graduating from Wellpark College, graduates can join the New Zealand Ayurveda Association, the Australasian Ayurvedic Practitioners Association or the New Zealand Charter of Health Practitioners.

Hinduism Today

Bringing Spirituality to Your Business and Work

NEW DELHI, INDIA, February 6, 2004: Upon entering any business establishment in India, the words "Shubh Laabh" are inscribed at the entrance. Two days before Deepavali, the words are also written on any new cash ledger books to sanctify them. So what do the two words mean? "Laabh" means profit or accrual and is the reason businesses are formed in the first place. However, by adding the word Shubh meaning auspicious, it ensures that the money will be made through honest means and used for dharmic purposes. The article explains, "Money got by unfair means -- for instance, through tax evasion -- could lead to tax raids, court hassles, worries, and ultimately, loss of health and happiness. Good accrual or shubh laabh, is bound to impact your life positively." Businessmen are encouraged to always accrue profit by fair means knowing that this profit will benefit their family without repercussions. The same principle can be applied to employees who are encouraged to work in such a manner that they earn the salary received. Money received for good honest hard work will reflect on the employee's family. Adi Shankaracharya says, "Whatever income comes of your honest toil on such money alone content yourself."

Hinduism Today

Some Official web-sites of senior Iskcon devotees:
HH Bhakti Tirtha Swami

H.H. Bir-Krishna Goswami's site

HH Devamrita Swami

HH Gopal Krishna Goswami:

HH Indradyumna Swami

HH Jayapataka Swami

HH Kadamba Kanana Swami

HH Prahladananda Swami

HH Prabhavishnu Swami

HG Prithu Prabhu:

HH Sacinandan Swami

HH Satswarup Goswami

HH Sivaram Swami:

HH Sridhar Swami

HH Suhotra Swami

HH Trivikram Swami

HG Vaiyasaki dasa Adhikari

If you know of any other senior Iskcon devotee web-sites please send their URL to us to share with others through this media

Here's a short list with some links - sadhu sanga ki jaya


The Peace Formula

The Real Peace Formula

See more on Yoga and Meditation HERE:

What's Going On Where & Adds


The New Iskcon Auckland temple is now open

as of 18th January 2004

for more information and some wonderfrul pictures of the event see our page:

photos updated 10th February 2004

Holy Cow Mania pages:

Hare Krishna School & Playgroup

Krishna Conscious education for children

Hare Krishna School in Riverhead, Auckland is a government funded school that runs from 9am – 3pm five days a week. We cover all core subjects in the New Zealand Curriculum and in addition teach Sanskrit, Sastra and Vedic arts. Children who come to this school get everything that children at state schools get plus Vedic culture and values in a serene rural environment.

We also run a preschool program for children 3 and up.

A school bus service provides transport from Auckland suburbs.

For enrolment information please contact:-

Ph: 09-412-6325
Mob: 021-265-7587
Fax: 09-412-6325
Find out what the NZ Government Education Review Office thinks of the Hare Krishna School. Click the link below.$File/4204.htm?OpenElement

Balgopal Krishna Conscious Preschool in Henderson Auckland prepares children for school with a nurturing academic and character development program founded on Krishna consciousness.

 For details please contact-

Vishnupadi dasi Ph.836-1214

Detail schedule: Mayapur festival - 2004

19th FEB -
Devotees arrival

20th FEB    -
Festival Inauguration Day
4.15 am  - Mangal Arotic
6.15 am  - Sb. Class
7.00 am  - Deities greeting
8.00 am  - Dhwaja Arohanm ( Raising Garuda Flags)
9.00 am  - Prasad
10.00 am  - Deity report by GBCs
2.30 pm  - Prasad
6.00 pm - Evening arati
7.00 pm  - Festival Inauguration
Vedic mantra path and lighting the lamp
Welcome address
GBC Chairman coronation
GBC Chairman Address
Address by Festival co ordinator
Address by Mayapur Director
Vote of thanks
Drama by Vaikuntha Players
Nama Yajna Adhivas

21st FEB -
Panchatattva Deities installation Adhivas Day
4.15 am  - Mangal Arati
6.00 am  - Harinam Sankirtan (Akhanda Hari nam)  Starts in Pancha Tattav temple
7.00 am  - Deities greeting
8.00 am  - SB. Class at the pandal
9.00 am  - Breakfast Prasad
10.00 am -  Jal Yatra ( All devotees will go with procession to bring water from Ganga )
2.30 pm - Prasad
4.30 pm  - Fire sacrifice  in Pancha Tattav temple ( For donors to participate)
Astottara asta Kundiya yajna (108 Kunda fire sacrifice to celebrate Srila Prabhupada 108 birth anniversary)
 7.00 pm  - Deities installation  Adhivas
8.00 pm - Drama by Vaikuntha players
Whole day Hari nam in temple

22nd FEB : -
Srila Prabhupada Maha Abhishek Day
4.15 am  - Mangal Arati
7.00 am  - Deities greeting
8.00 am  - SB. Class
9.00 am - Prasad
10 am - Maha abhishek of Srila Prabhupada at Puspa Samadhi with 108 tirtha water.
2.30 pm - Prasad
4.30pm - Tattva Nyasa Homa for Pancha deities
Whole day Harinam in temple

23rd FEB :  - The Panchatattva deities instalation day.
6.15 am Srimad Bhagavatam Class
7.00 am - Deities greeting
8.00 am - Abhishek starts
10.45 am - Abhishek ends , Cleaning deities rooms
11.45 am  - Prana pratistha
12.30 noon  - Bhoga Offering
 1.00 pm  - Maha Arati
2.00  pm - Prasad
6.15 pm  - First Maha evening Arati
7.00 pm  - Cultural program

24th Feb : -
Parikrama leaves Mayapur
1st March :  -
Parikrama Returns to Mayapur
1.0       pm - Parikrama returns to Mayapur
2.30 pm - Prasad
4.30 pm  - Boat festival , Swing festival
6.00 pm  - Evening Arati
7.00pm - Cultural Program

2nd March : ( Ekadashi)
Book distribution awards day
4.15am  - Mangal Arati
7.00am  - Darshan Arati
8.00am  - Bhg. Class
9.00 am - Prasad
10.00am - Seminars
2.30 pm Prasad
4.00 pm - Seminars
5.00 pm  - Boat festival
6.00 pm  - Stage Program starts
6.30 pm - Book Distribution awards distribution
8.00 pm - Cultural programs

3rd March : -
Santipur festival Day
4.15 am  - Mangal Arati
6.00 am  - Devotees will leave for Santipur
9.00 am  - Breakfast prasad
3.00 pm  - Lunch Prasad
4.00 pm - Seminars
6.00 pm  - Congregational preaching awards distribution
7.30 pm  - Cultural programs

4thMarch :
4.15 am  - Mangal Arati
7.00 am - Greeting deities
8.00 am  - Bhagavatam Class
9.00 am  - Prasad
10.00 am - Seminars
2.30 pm  - Prasad
4.00 pm  - Seminars
6.00 pm  - World excellency  awards distribution
7.30 pm  - Cultural programs

5th March : -
Ratha Yatra Day
4.15 am - Mangal Arati
7.00 am  -Greeting the deities
8.00 am  - Bhagavatam Class
9.00 am Prasadm
10.00 am  -Ratha Yatra
2.30 pm Prasad
4.00 pm Seminar
6.30 pm  - Cultural program

6th March -
Gaura Purnima Day
4.15 am  - Mangal Arati
7.00 am - Greeting the deities
8.00 am - Bhagavatam Class
11.00 am  - Initiation Ceremony
4.00 pm  - Gauranga maha Abhishek
7.30 pm  - Anukulpa Prasad

7th March -
Jagannath Mishra's Utsav
4.15 am -  Mangal Arati
7.00 am - Greeting the deities
8.00 am - Bhagavatam Class
9.00 am Prasad
2.30 am  - Maha Feast

End of the Mayapur Festival  - 2004

*Some small changes to the schedule are possible

Gaura Yoga Centre
First floor
175, Vivian Street,

Phone:  (04) 801-5500

Learn about the Krishna conscious life-style
Learn Yoga
Learn about Vegetarianism
...all in a non-threatening friendly atmosphere.

Contact us:

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Sunday Love Feasts - contact your local temple, or community for details

Harinaam Kirtan and Bhajans in Tauranga BOP.
Every Saturday in the Red Square by the Strand (or Mt. Maunganui)

Come and join the throng 11:00 am - 12:30 pm

...for more details contact Trivikrama dasa or Chaitanya Nitai dasa (for Trivikram prabhu) (for Chaitanya Nitai prabhu)

Vegetarian Clubs
Waikato University - Hamilton campus

2 days per week serving about 100 plates each day.

for more information

Auckland Veda club.
Auckland University - Wellesley St. campus

Its a simple weekly program thats been running for a few years, at Clubspace,
where we have a vegetarian prasadam lunch and sometimes show a video.
Srila Prabhupada's books are available to browse or buy.

For more information contact Auckland temple:

Otago University - Dunedin - Vege Club
Room 2., Clubs & Societies Building
Albany St.,

contact Jambavati dasi (03) 477 8277



See more about Food For Life and how you can help HERE:

Food For Life - Auckland
Monday to Friday  11:00am to 8:00pm
Saturday  11:00am to 3:00pm

Catering for students, shoppers, office workers, and the needy - all will find full satisfaction for the body, mind and soul.

Saturday Evenings at “Food for Life” from 4.00pm to 6.00pm.
Come along to join in an evening of Chanting,
Philosophy and a Vegetarian Dinner.

On alternate Monday nights H.H. Mukunda Goswami will be present to speak and answer your questions.

Phone Food for Life, 268 Karangahape Road (K-rd), Auckland, for more information, (09) 300 7585

Higher Taste
Amazing Vegetarian Cuisine At Down to Earth Prices!

Organic Fruit Juices
Delicious Curries
$ 5.95
$ 7.95
$ 9.95

City: ABC Shoreline, 98-104 Victoria Street, Wellington.

Gaura's Place
Gaura's Place is at 555 Victoria street, first floor, Hamilton Central.

Ph (07) 839 3558

We are open Weekdays 11:30am -2:00pm for lunch which is a set menu daily,
with varying preps available of a balanced; Soup, Rice, Curried Vegetables, Puris or Pakoras, Salad and Sweet Halava.

Lunches 11.30 - 2 pm Weekdays.  Prices, $7.50 waged, $6 unwaged, 3 course lunch.
Dinner Fridays 7 - 9 pm, $15 ea, 3 courses. $5 kids under 12 years.

Bhagavad Gita classes Friday nights 6.30 - 8pm, $7 includes dinner.

This meal is also "set" although there is more variety and more "gourmet" style.

There are yoga classes (Iyengar style) on Thursday nights 6:30-7:45pm and Saturday mornings 10:15am -11:30am.
Cost $15 waged, $12 unwaged price includes dinner or lunch.

Friday nights we explore the Bhagavad Gita from 6.30 pm, followed by dinner at 8pm, culminating with a mantra meditaion.
Cost is $7 includes dinner.

Weekends- CLOSED.

Run by Jhulan yatra dasa and Rasa yatra devi dasi

Gauranga's in Tauranga
174, Devonport Road Tauranga
phone  (07) 579 4720

Sunday evening program 5pm
Wednesday evening program

What is Bhakti Yoga?
Learn how to practice Krishna Consciousness at home
Bhagavad Gita class, and discussion
The science of self realization
How to practically make spiritual progress by chanting of the Hare Krishna mantra
Learn about the wonders of Krishna prasadam

.....and much more !!!

in a nice friendy family atmosphere.

Business + F.H. for Sale
50-seater restaurant.
Established for four years
Run by devotees
Operating hours 10.30-3PM

Full financials available
Business and Free hold $170,000

Contact: Tracey and Julian
+61 07 4093 8483 (café),
+ 6107 4093 9569
mobile: 042 572 5901

See their page for pictures

Successful Prasadam business for sale

We would like $15,000 for it. It has a current health licence.
We originally had it on the market for $17000.

Includes all chattles

Zephyr 18’6 Caravan
1  Vee ray / GT45 twin vat
1  Baine marie
1  Food processor
1  Chest freezer
1  Fridge freezer
1  Large fridge (large vege drawer)
Gas calafont hot water system with 2 sinks
2  29kg gas bottles
1  New gas changover valve
1  Double chip shuttle
1  Chip scoop
2  Chip baskets
2  20 litre water bottles
1  45 litre water bottle
1  Small fridge
1  2 ring gas burner
1  Mesh scoop
2  Tongs 
Plastic buckets
1  Serviette holder
2  Stainless steel fork and spoon holders
2  white boards
1  A frame sign board
1  Large chalk board
1  Radio
Misc bags , chip cups , meal containers
Spoons , forks
1  Fire extinguisher
1  fire blanket
1  Car battery
Long power lead
Some serving utensils
2  Large bins
1  Oil tin 
1  Rice cooker
1 awning

All enquiries - inquiries

ph: (06) 379 6579
mobile - cell 025 862 237

Practicing Krishna Consciousness at Home:

East Meets West @ "The Loft"
Enjoy an enlightening time associating with energetic devotees. Explore the similarities of ancient and modern surroundings through Krishna consciousness in a friendly non-threatening atmosphere.

Wellington Loft (Gaura Yoga centre)

Gaura's Place - Hamilton:

Christchurch Loft
Hanuman dasa:

Gauranga's in Tauranga
For more information:

Sydney Temple (Aus) Shop On-line:

Subscribe to Sydney's E-newsletter –
and Streaming MP3 classes and music –

more options in the marketplace HERE:

Sydney temple:

Australian yatra: (...across the ditch )

...the site for Shaligram, Govardhan, Dwaraka and Tadiya shilas and Their Sevaks
Why not come on in for Cyber-darshan

There's so many new participants (GBCs, Gurus, Sannyasis, et al), new incredible pic's, capturing and enlivening articles and stories, pilgrimage diaries - check it out - believe me you won't be disappointed.

Thousands of Salagrams, Govardhan, Dwarka shilas from ALL over the world.

READ Salagram kosha on-line.......
 Hari Bhakti Vilas segments
 Padma Purana
 Garuda Purana


mirrored @

Visit the Site and join our Quarterly Newsletter:

If you'd like to send in an article, picture(s), story or experience with Shilas please send it to me:

last updated 10th January 2004

- HEALTHY ISSUES - Ayurveda:-
Visit Vaidya Yolande Manson's Ayurvedic practice - in Hamilton:

Receive the Waikato Ayurveda Group Newsletter
5a Bader Street, Hamilton, New Zealand
ph +64-7-843-5566, fax +64-7-843-3974

Got health challenges...........???
Please contact me!

Radiance Ayurveda
(...and or Receive the Waikato Ayurvedic Group newsletter)

Visit Vaidya Yolande Manson's Ayurvedic practice - in Hamilton:

Dr. Pratap Chauhan - Social Welfare through Ayurveda - Faridabad India

See our marketplace link off the main index:

This material world is described as padam padam yad vipadäm,
which means that at every step there is danger.
Please be a little careful - everything is not always as it seems in the Matrix:

Sun Protection: Slip slop slap wrap

Sunsmart -

NZ Cancer Society

Sun protection @ work

Summer Season Fire Safety

Water Safety,,8006-1844782,00.html

Out-door activities Safety

On-line Safety

Kids - Be Safe On-line:

Do you have any services or products to advertise here for FREE ?

If you have any news, events, functions, deals, etc., that you would like to share with members of the greater Vaishnava community then please do so by sending what you have to us, we can pass them on in the next newsletter


Prasadam Recipes

Download your FREE  Cake Recipe Cookbook
 - with 100 EGGLESS recipes


Ekadasi Book Cooking - new book coming:

Ekadasi Recipes - preps without grains or beans etc:

Vrata ka khaana - Fast Foods cook book 4 sale (all ekadasi preps - some samples here):

Fast Food of a Different Kind:

EgglessDotCom - A site for vegetarian baking without eggs.

Non-vegetarian aditives and non-ekadasi food aditives list:

Meat Free Zone:

A Guide to Gourmet Vegetarian Cooking and a Karma-Free Diet:


(even Parmesan and other favorites)

All the Meatless Pasta preparations you'd like to prepare:

(we bought some Stilton, Parmesan, Edam, Swiss and a few others - LOL - you have to check out these pages and then go to your Woolworths, Countdown, Pak'nSav, New World or local Deli.....believe me it's worth it - =>:-))) updated to help you

The Meatrix - this you have to see to believe - take the red pill see reality - The Meatrix it's all around you:

Allow the Meatrix to download fully before attempting to observe.............

These recipes are specifically used in the Brahma-Madhwa Vaishnava community for shaaka haara vrata - first month of Chaturmasya where one fasts from Greem leafy vegetables - spinach:

Kathal Curry - Curried green jackfruit.
Serves : Six
Time required : 25 minutes

1 kg green jackfruit (kathal)
4 tbsp (60 ml) oil
4 medium-sized (250 g) potatoes, peeled and cut into 3 cm cubes
1/2 tsp (2.5 g) sugar
salt to taste
1 tsp (5 g) garam masala powder

Grind together with a little water:
3 dry red chillies
1 tbsp (15 g) cummin seeds
1 tbsp (6 g) coriander seeds
1/2 tsp (2 g) turmeric powder

For the tempering:
1 tbsp (15 g) ghee
2-3 bay leaves (tej patta)
1/4 tsp (1 g) cummin seeds

Peel the outer skin of jackfruit. Remove seeds, if any. Discard the fibrous portion, retaining only the ‘meaty’ portion. There is a layer of skin between the seed and the fruit. Ensure that this is also removed and discarded. Cut jackfruit into bite-sized pieces. Place in a pan with water and boil for about 15 minutes. Remove from heat. Drain well.

Heat oil in a kadai (wok) or deep frying pan. Fry potatoes until lightly browned. Remove from pan, drain and set aside.

Add jackfruit and saute for a few minutes. Remove from pan, drain and set aside. Add ground paste, sugar and salt to pan. Stir well and fry for several minutes, sprinkling water when necessary. Stir in 1 1/2 cups water and add jackfruit and potatoes. Simmer gently until both are cooked and there is gravy in the pan.

Heat ghee for tempering in a separate pan or kadai. Add bay leaves and cummin. Stir-fry until they stop spluttering. Pour on to the vegetables and sprinkle in the garam masala powder. Stir well and cook for a minute longer. Serve hot with rice or chapati.

Put into an oven preheated to 200oC (400oF) and bake for 12 to 15 minutes. Serve with a salad.

Bangkok Bean Burgers With Peanut Cilantro Sauce

1 lb (1/2 kg) firm tofu
2 cups cooked black beans, well drained
3/4 cup quick-cooking oats, uncooked
1/2 cup red cabbage or white cabbage heart, finely chopped
1/2 cup carrots, finely grated
1 tsp plus 1 tsp grated fresh ginger root
2 tsp tarmari or soy sauce
2 tsp packed brown sugar
2 tsp hing
1 to 3/2 tsp red pepper flakes
vegetable oil
flour for dusting thin slices peeled cucumber

Squeeze tofu in paper towels to discard excess water. Mash tofu in a large bowl. Add rest of ingredients except for oil, flour, and cucumbers. Mix well. Lightly brush both sides of patties with vegetable oil and dust with flour. Brush gill rack with oil. Cook over medium-hot coals about 4 minutes on each side. Serve on toasted buns and top with Peanut Cilantro Sauce and cucumber slices.

Peanut Cilantro Sauce:
3 Tbs natural crunchy peanut butter
3 Tbs fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup fresh cilantro, minced

In a small bowl, blend peanut butter and lemon juice. Mix in cilantro to combine.

Stuffed Shells with Broccoli
Serves 6
24 Jumbo Shells, uncooked
1 10-oz. package frozen chopped broccoli, thawed
1 cup part-skim ricotta cheese
1/2 cup shredded Swiss cheese
1 tbsp. shredded white cabbage heart
2 14 1/2-oz. cans crushed tomatoes
1/2 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. dried oregano
1 tsp hing
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Prepare pasta according to package directions; drain. Combine broccoli, ricotta cheese, Swiss cheese, cabbage heart, oregano, basil, hing, salt and pepper. Stir together until well blended. Pour about 1 cup tomatoes over bottom of 13 x 9 x 2-inch baking pan, breaking up tomatoes with a fork. Spoon 1 round tablespoon of cheese mixture into each shell and place open-side up in an even layer in the pan. Pour remaining tomatoes over and around shells. Cover pan with foil. Bake at 375-o F for about 25 minutes until heated through, and serve.

Tangy Pear 'N Pecan Noodle Salad
Serves 8
12 oz. Medium or Wide Noodles, uncooked
1/2 cup fresh orange juice
4 tbsp. balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
1/2 tsp Hing
1 tbsp. orange zest
1 tbsp. vegetable or olive oil
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
16 oz. spinach, stems removed and rinsed, cut into 1-inch crosswise strips
4 pears (red or green, or mixed), cored and sliced, leaving peel on
1/2 cup golden raisins
<= cup crumbled blue cheese
1/4 cup pecan pieces, toasted
1/2 red or white cabbage, thinly sliced or grated

Prepare noodles according to package directions. Drain and place in large bowl.

Whisk together orange juice, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, hing, orange zest, oil and salt and pepper to taste in small bowl.

In a large saute pan, heat 2 tablespoons of dressing over medium heat. Saute spinach in 2 to 3 batches until slightly wilted.

In large bowl, combine cooked noodles, pears, raisins, half of cheese, half of pecans, wilted greens and red or white grated cabbage. Add remaining dressing and toss to combine. Sprinkle top with remaining cheese and pecans. Serve immediately.

Asian Coleslaw
This recipe is courtesy of Chet's Recipes. If you would like to submit a recipe, contact
5 Tbs cider vinegar
5 Tbs vegetable oil
5 Tbs peanut butter
3 Tbs soy sauce
3 Tbs brown sugar
2 Tbs minced ginger root
1 1/2 Tsp hing
5 cups thinly sliced green cabbage
2 cups thinly sliced red cabbage
2 cups Napa cabbage shredded
2 red or yellow peppers, thinly sliced
2 carrots, julienned
1 fennel bulb shredded (the size of a tennis ball)
1/2 cup chopped cilantro (fresh)

In a medium bowl, whisk together the cider vinegar, oil, peanut butter, soy sauce, brown sugar, ginger, and hing.

In a large bowl, mix the green cabbage, red cabbage, Napa cabbage, red bell peppers, carrots, fennel bulb, and cilantro. Toss with the peanut butter mixture just before serving. Serves: 10. (yeah right hahahaha)

Cherry & Cheese pudding:
2 sheets of filo pastry
30g/1oz butter, melted
55g/2oz Wensleydale cheese, sliced
85g/3oz tinned cherries
55ml/2fl oz double cream
1 tbsp soya flour mixed with 2 tbsp water (as egg replacement)
carob powder or cocoa powder, to garnish

1. Preheat a small saucepan.
2. Preheat oven to 250C/500F/Gas 9.
3. Take 2 small moulds and brush with butter.
4. Divide the filo in half and push it down into the moulds.
5. Trim the pastry, leaving 3cm (1in) to drape over the sides.
6. Brush the inside of the pastry with butter.
7. Par-bake the filo for 2-3 minutes in the oven.
8. Remove the filo from the oven.
9. Divide the cheese between the moulds.
10. Spoon the cherries on top of the cheese.
11. Heat the cream gently in the small pan.
12. When the cream is hot (but not boiling), remove it from the heat and gradually whisk it into the beaten egg replacement - soya flour.
13. Spoon the resulting custard on top of the cherries.
14. Place the puddings back in the oven for a further 4 minutes, or until the pastry is crisp and the custard has set.
15. Remove the puddings from the oven and gently lift them out of the moulds.
16. Place them on a plate, dust with the cocoa and serve.

Bonfire Puddings with Tarantula Sauce (Apricot & Pecan Puddings with Toffee Sauce)
by The Vegetarian Society
50g/2oz light muscovado sugar
50g/2oz pecan nuts, chopped
100g/4oz ready-to-eat, dried apricots, chopped
pecan nut halves, to garnish

For the almond base
75g/3oz butter or vegan margarine
60ml/2fl oz maple syrup or soft brown sugar
1 tbsp soya flour mixed with 2 tbsp water (= 1 free range egg, beaten)
75g/3oz ground almonds
25g/1oz soya flour
2.5g/½ tsp baking powder
few drops of vanilla essence

For the toffee sauce
200g/7oz light muscovado sugar
90ml/3fl oz double cream or soya cream
100g/4oz unsalted butter or vegan margarine
2.5ml/½ tsp vanilla essence
25g/1oz chopped pecan nuts

1. preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4.
2. To make the topping, mix the sugar, chopped pecans and dried apricots together. Divide equally between 4 well greased, individual ramekins.
3. Cream the butter or margarine for the base with the maple syrup or sugar. Add the egg or soya flour paste and mix well. Stir in the almonds, soya flour, baking powder and vanilla essence.
4. Spoon the mixture into the ramekins, place on a baking tray and bake in the preheated oven for 20-30 minutes.
5. To make the sauce, put the sugar in a saucepan and use a wooden spoon to crush any lumps. Add the cream and butter (or soya cream and vegan margarine) and stir together over a gentle heat until the butter has melted.
6. Bring to the boil and simmer for 2-3 minutes until toffee-coloured. Remove from the heat, then stir in the vanilla essence and chopped pecans.
7. Turn each pudding out on to a serving plate. Decorate with pecan halves. Spoon a little toffee sauce around the puddings and serve immediately.

Vege update:
Social scientists and law enforcement officials have identified animal abuse as a symptom of emotional illness and a precursor to violent crimes against human beings. To allow individuals guilty of perpetrating such cruel acts to go unpunished or not sufficiently punished would be to sanction these horrific crimes and would permit them to go on to possibly commit violent crimes against humans.

The Animal Spirit Newsletter - Issue #2 -  4/21/03-4/27/03

Higher Taste cook book

All the Meatless Pasta preparations you'd like to prepare:
(some need some adjustment, as they contain onion and garlic)

Different Shapes of pasta:

OVER 100 EGGLESS CAKE recipes can be found on our Main index and
on many other pages at:

Visit our Award winning site - Vegetarianism & Beyond
Interesting articles - information - history - arguments - links............ (been re-vamped) fact everything you want to know about Vegetarianism and Beyond:
... last updated 20th November 2003

Offering our food to Krishna:
....excerpt from lecture by HDG Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada - Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.3.1-3 -- San Francisco, March 28, 1968

The Vedic literature says like this, that God has no leg, no hand. Therefore the impersonalists take advantage of it. "Oh, here it is stated God has no legs, no hands." But the next line is, javana grhita: "He can accept everything which you offer Him in devotion."

Now how He can accept? If He has no hand, how He can accept things from us? That means He hasn't got a hand like us. His hand is different. Therefore even though He is situated in the spiritual world, which is far, far away from us, still, He says in the Bhagavad-gita, it is said,

patram puspam phalam toyam
yo me bhaktya prayacchati
tad aham bhakty-upahrtam
asnami prayatatmanah

Krsna says that "A little flower or little water or a little leaf, whatever My devotee offers Me in love and devotion, I accept it." And tad aham bhakty-upahrtam. "And because he has brought it with great devotion, therefore I eat." Tad aham bhakty-upahrtam asnami. Asnami means "I eat." Now you can say, "All right, I'll offer these fruits and flower to God, but it is the same. It is remaining. How He is eating?" But His eating is not like my eating, because He hasn't got a body like this. This body is material. If you bring me a plate of fruits, this body immediately swallows it. But He has got spiritual body. He eats... Simply as soon as He knows that you have offered it in devotion, He eats immediately.

Go here to follow the simple system for offering foodstuffs to the Lord
... and always with the Magic ingredient - Offer it to Krishna.....
... with L'n D (love and devotion)

Why do we offer our food to God before eating?

Nutrition and Health - vitamins, a balanced diet, through prasadam:

Vegetarian Update - newsletter from NZ Vegetarian Socity in Wellington:

“If anyone wants to save the planet, all they have to do is just stop eating meat.
That’s the single most important thing you could do. It’s staggering when you think about it.
Vegetarianism takes care of so many things in one shot: ecology, famine, cruelty.”
--Sir Paul McCartney


Check out heaps of information on Vegetarianism, Prasadam-ism,
download books, Vegetarian Recipe programs, and more.

A Beginners Guide to Vegetarianism:
How Mary and Frank and Friends Eat - very nice Vegetarian pages:
Vegetarian recipes:

Heaps of Quick Vegetarian Recipies:

101 Reasons Why I'm a Vegetarian:

Healthy Indian Vegetarian Cooking Recipes:


"You Mean That's in the Bible" - expose on meat eating:

- oxymoron of the yuga:
Protect both our species, two-legged and four-legged. Both food and water for their needs supply.
May they with us increase in stature and strength. Save us from hurt all our days, O Powers!

Rig Veda Samhita 10.37.11.

Download one of Bhakti Rasa prabhu's songs for FREE
"Don't Eat Your Friends" (It Ain't Nice)

and visit Bhakti Rasa prabhu's site:

Check out Kurma prabhu's new web-site:

XMAS Recipes @
We wish you a Vege Xmas

McDeath - the facts about Ronnie McDonalds:

Meet your Meat FREECDRoms
This is a must for those who live in the illusion of animal killing is somehow acceptable or humane.

I have converted the "Meet your Meat" video into a CD rom & will send a copy of it for free to anyone with a Cd burner & a pledge to make at least 4 copies to give to their meat eating friends.

Meet your meat - shocking live footage of the TRUTH in the meat industry:

This is the new version
I sent out a total of over 750 CD's last year to 60 different countries. My goal in 2003 is to double that number.
I would appreciate if you would forward this message to your readers.
Anyone willing to participate, please forward my mailing address as


Vegetarians BEWARE of Orange Softdrinks
Coca-Cola (manufacturer) - Not suitable for vegetarians; lists the following products as not vegetarian
These products contain traces of fish gelatine, which are used as a stabiliser for beta-carotene colour.

Fanta Orange
Diet Fanta Orange
Lilt Pineapple & Grapefruit
Diet Lilt Pineapple & Grapefruit

Soft Drinks - Some canned Orange drinks use gelatine as a carrier for added Beta Caratine.
(This would not appear on the ingredients panel).
(Text PAMHO:5891790) ---------------------------------------

According to recent communications with Chelsea Sugar group - NZ Sugars their Sugars are now free from "Bone Char" bleaching process and so devotees can again use and offer White Sugar safely.

See more details HERE

As of last week in November 2003 Yopliat the yogurt people now put geletine in their products
See here for pointers of okay ones

 Krishna Conscious - Vedikly acceptable Jokes

Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves  =>;-))

This is a MUST READ =>;-Q

Four Wives parable:

A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy surprised his parents. He walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face. He went straight past them, right to his room and quietly closed the door. For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime.  This pattern of behavior continued until it was time for the first quarter's report card. The boy walked in with it unopened - laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it and, to her amazement, she saw a large red 'A' under the subject of Math. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable progress.

"Was it the nuns that did it?" the father asked.

The boy shook his head and said "No."

 "Was it the one-to-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?"


"The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?"

"No", said the son.

"What caused the change?"asked his parents.

"On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw the kid they nailed to the plus sign, I KNEW they meant business!"

Police Officer Larry O'Riley, whose beat was in South Auckland, struck up a conversation with Sanjiv Agarwal, the owner of the Indian Sweet mahal.

"What makes you Indians so smart?"asked Officer O'Riley.

"I'll tell you our secret," answered Sanjiv.  It's because we eat so much chili and bhuja.

The policeman was very impressed.  For the next six months he came to the the mahal and bought the hottest bhuja he could find.
He was a regular customer every afternoon and ordered Extra extrahot bhuja mix. 

One day he walked into the Indian Sweet mahal and told the the mataji behind the counter that he demanded to see the owner.

"Look here, Mr. Agarwal,"he shouted.  "For six months I have been coming here everyday and ordering the Extra extra hot bhuja mix for $4.50.  I just found out that around the corner I can get an even bigger portion for only $3.75.

"You see," grinned Sanjiv Agarwal.  "The hot bhuja is working already."

The Titanic had just set sail on her maiden voyage. Every night at the bar a magician performed the most wonderfully amazing tricks.  But there was a problem.  A parrot sat on the bar top and ruined each trick as the magician performed. The parrot would sit quietly until the trick was almost completed, then say things like,

"Squawk! It's up his sleeve!"  or "Squawk! He's hidden it in the hat."  The same thing happened each night. The silly parrot was ruining his world famous show.  The magician spent his days devising better and more stupendously amazing tricks in an effort to fool this lousy parrot.
One night as the magician performed his greatest trick of the voyage (lights dimmed, hushed crowd, drum roll), the ship suddenly hit an iceberg and sank.

The magician managed to cling to a door floating around in the wreckage.

In the morning he noticed the parrot sitting calmly and quietly, staring back at him, at the other end of the door. For three days the magician and the parrot floated around in the without saying a word .... One day, the parrot couldn't contain himself any longer and squawked, "All right ! I give up!  What have you done with the ship?"

A teenager who had just received her learner's permit offered to drive her parents to church. After a wild ride, they finally reached their destination.
The driver's mother got out of the car and said, "Thank you."
"Anytime," her daughter replied.
As the woman slammed the door, she said, "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to God."

A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall.

The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"

The CEO then hands the guy $300 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don 't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters,
"Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

An old man limped into the doctor's office  and said,
"Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!"
The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said,

"Sir, how old are you?"
"I'm 98," the man announced proudly.
The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again.
Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry.  I mean, just look at you.  You are almost one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts?
Well, what did you expect?"
The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it doesn't hurt!"

One day our Santa decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbour, Banta, was also a chicken farmer.

 Banta came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100 chickens."

Santa was thrilled. Two weeks later Banta stopped by to see how things weregoing.

Santa said, "Not too good. All 100 chickens died."

Banta said, "Oh, I can't believe that. I've never had any trouble with mychickens. I'll give you 100 more."

Another two weeks went by, and Banta stops in again. Santa says, "You'renot going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too."

Astounded, Banta asked, "What did you do to them? What went wrong?"

"Well," says Santa, "I'm not sure. But I think I'm not planting them far enough apart."

Doesn't it seem that more and more physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Bhupinda

Bhupinda walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bhupinda said, I am having the Shingles. So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked Bhupinda what he had. Bhupinda said, I am having the Shingles. So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bhupinda to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bhupinda what he had. Bhupinda said, I am having the Shingles. So she gave Bhupinda a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told Bhupinda to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and asked Bhupinda what he had. Bhupinda said, I am having the Shingles. The doctor asked, where?

Bhupinda said, 'Outside on the truck, for your driveway. Where do you want them?

Did you ever wonder?

A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat.

"The secret," she said, " to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up."

The boy looked at her quizzically... "Why does it have to be a secret?"

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours and cry?

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned... couldn't concentrate.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it... mainly  because it was just a sew-sew job.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
I was fired from a job at a zoo feeding the giraffes because I just wasn't up to it.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in, so they gave me the "boot".
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
I found being an electrician was interesting, but the work was shocking.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patients to finish.
My very best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't  noteworthy.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
My last job was working at a coffee shop, but I had to quit because it was  always the same old grind.

now I serve Krishna........

* Phonetic Definitions

Excommunicated: Recieved a phone call from his former spouse
(K. C. Doyle)

Protestants: Worker ants out to overthrow the Queen
(Ken Pinkham)

Baby: a honey-gathering insect which lives around San Francisco.

Fanatic: To cool off the extreme upper portion of the house.
(Douglas Drill)

Cauterize: Made eye contact with someone

Donkey: Object that unlocks door to Godfather's home

Icing: What I do when I shower.

Understudy: Prepare inadequately for the exam

Paradise: What you shoot craps with (Cynthia MacGregor)

Store Detective: Counter spy
(Robert Meyers)

Cannibal:  A guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.
(Jack Benny)

Firepower: Held by the senior executives of a company that bought another.
(Joseph Leff)

Infantry: A newly planted sapling
(Tim Breuning)

The ways of this material world - strange but true
A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, it was like this," said the man, "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them.

While I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at it's rear end.

 I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my BIG mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife,  Hey, this looks like yours, honey!"

 I don't remember much after that...................................

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving 20 blocks from the house and leaving the cat at the park.  As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He let the beast out of the car and headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further, but the feline would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, cross the bridge, then right again, and make another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls home: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answers, "Put that SOB on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

thanx Gary

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never ever exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he replied coughing.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood bar.
Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing.  After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles the man managed to find his own car, which he fell into. Hewas there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles. At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street.
The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test. To his amazement the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant."

"But why? We both got 9 questions correct," asked the re-jected applicant.

"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the manager. "Your fellow applicant put down for question #5, 'I don't know the answer.'
And you put down, 'Neither do I.'"

thanx Shyam'

When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says......
..."If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."

So, I call them and say, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"

Irish Humour

Irish Wife
At the World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up: "At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my
husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from America stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well."

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Ireland stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw
nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

thanks 2 Bhakta Gary UK Q8 & KK

You might like to check out Krishna-conscious jokes -
Also check out the Humour section of the Main Index:


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