Krishna Conscious - Vedikly acceptable Jokes


Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves  =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages

Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm

'Hasya' or humour, created using either a situation or a behaviour-mode, easily reveals in dialogues and gestures during a play but a difficult theme for a sculpture or painting. There are, however, some excellent examples of 'Hasya' in pictoral art also and these days in cartoons. Besides caricatures and 'bhangeris'-type characters, myths, legends or stories are also used for depicting humour. For example Lord Shiva is camping with Parvati under a tree in the forest. As Shiva is adorned with serpents, a serpent, drapes across the otherwise naked form of Shiva like a loincloth, is covering his private parts. Hearing of him being there under the tree, Lord Vishnu, along with Garuda, His faithful vehicle, comes to pay him homage. The snake, as soon as it sees the bird carrier Garuda, his natural enemy, abandons Shiva leaving him all exposed and naked and flees into an anthill. It is humour by situation. Deliberate tricks and or sarcasm, usually bringing forth the philosophy and culture, sometimes in Krishna-related themes, are also used for creating humour.

To read more about Hasya visit our pages

FOR YOUR INTEREST: This one is not a joke but I thought you might like to know. These are the names of Lord Caitanya taken from the book "Sri Caitanya Sahasra Nama Stotra", i.e. "A Thousand Names of Lord Caitanya" by Srila Kavi Karnapura (as translated by HG Kusakratha Prabhu from the Krsna Institute)...

        So Lord Caitanya is known as the one:

 - hasya-kari  &  hasya-yuk  ==> who laughs & jokes

 - hasya-priya  ==> who is fond of joking

 - hasya-nagara ==> who is the hero of those expert in speaking joking words

 - hasya-grami  &  hasya-kara  ==> is expert at joking

 - pushpa-hasa  ==> whose smile & laugh are as charminng as flowers.

Lord Gauranga's smiling & laughing qualities ki...

                                                ys Radhe Govinda dasa

P.S. One of the qualities of Srimati Radharani is that she is very expert in the art of joking.

SOME FACTS ABOUT HUMOUR

"With devotion steeped in love and affection, the yogi should meditate within the core of his heart upon the laughter of Lord Vishnu. The laughter of Vishnu is so captivating that it can be easily meditated upon. When the Supreme Lord is laughing, one can see His small teeth, which resemble jasmine buds rendered rosy by the splendor of His lips. Once devoting his mind to this, the yogi no longer desires to see anything else." ~ S.P., Srimad-Bhagavatam 3-23-33 "Kapila's Instructions on Devotional Service"

SCIENCE - After surgery but prior to the administration of pain medication, patients were told one-liner jokes. Those patients who were exposed to the humor experienced less pain in comparison to the other surgery patients who didn't get a dose of humor as part of their therapy. ~ Summary from study published in  ' Journal of Holistic Nursing'

Medical experts (Dr. Derk & Dr. Wiilliiamsburg) reveal that a powerful laugh will relax tensed muscles, brings more oxygen into the system and more quickly, lowers blood pressure, and offers a free, overall health benefits on many levels! And its free!. (If the FDA could manufacture a medicine like this, they'd charge a bundle.)

Loma Linda University Cali study by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan showed that physiological responses that were produced from belly laughter, were the opposite of what is seen in classical stress, thereby offering yet more evidence that laughing produces healthy or positive emotions.

Results of research by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan (Loma Linda U of Ca) indicated that after a good belly laugh, there is a general increase in activity within the immune system, such as: increased number and activity level of natural killer cells that attack viral infected cells and some types of cancer and tumor cells.

If it tickles your funny bone then chances are it will reduce the stress in your life and leave your immune system to do its part. This premise has been supported by both the field of psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences. A recent publication with research data appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Skin welt sizes were compared in patients suffering from severe allergies after one group watched a video featuring Charlie Chaplin and the other group listened to a documentary on weather. Needless to say, the Japanese study confirmed a reduction in skin welt size in the group watching the famed comedian. [FROM CNN.COM]  CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, February 13, 2001:

MORE SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS ABOUT LAUGHTER

* Laughter stimulates physical healing.
* Laughter enhances our individual creativity.
* Laughter is rejuvenating and regenerating.
* Laughter is good for relationships (that includes friendships).
* Laughter opens the heart.
* Laughter gives us a glimpse of freedom from the mind. (In other words, helpful for getting off the mental platform!)

~~ Articles by N. Lehrman in Archives of Internal Medicine, April 26,1993; Lee Berk, Dr. P.H. in Loma Linda University School of Medicine News, March 11,1999; N.Silver in American Health, November 1986; J. McCormick in Lancet, August 1994.

"We are less likely to succcummb to feelings of depression and helplessness if we are able to laugh at what is troubling us. Humor gives us a sense of perspective on our problems. Laughter provides an opportunity for the release of those uncomfortable emotions which, if held inside, may create biochemical changes that are harmful to the body." Patty Wooten, author of 'Pulmonary Rehabilitation: Guidelines to Success'

SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS - Controlled studies have given evidence that a good belly laugh has lowered serum cortisol levels, increased amounts of activated T lymphocytes, increased number and activity of natural killer cells, and increased the number of T cells that have helper/ suppresser receptors. Or to sum it up: laughter off-sets the immunosuppressive effects of stress and is therefore significantly improves the health of the immune system. - Discoveries by Dr. Berk and Dr. Tan, Loma Linda University.

Evidence (from EEG) revealed that when a joke is just about to be told, the initial anticipation results in  the brains cortex's left hemisphere starting the function of analyzing of word processing. Next, most brain activity moved to the frontal lobe (the center of emotions). After that, the right hemisphere's synthesis mix with the left's processing to look for and locate the pattern or to be able to "get" the joke. Very quickly following, though just prior to the persons had quite enough time to laugh, brain waves increase and spread to   the occipital lobe which is the sensory processing areas of the brain. There was an increase in fluctuations of delta waves which reached a crescendo of activity and crested as the brain 'got' the joke followed by the recipient beginning of laughter. So here you have 'scientific' knowledge how laughter works, integrating the brain and getting it to all function together, thanks to Dr. Derk & Dr. Williamsburg. Now, stop analyzing and start laughing! :-) You have facts that it's actually beneficial for a variety of health issues, so don't minimize its importance and start giving yourself permission to take out time each day to laugh.  Like a vitamin or even a meal, it's a necessity!

Courtesy of mother Pritaa ACBSP's site http://www.geocities.com/priitaa108/humor.htm

Laugh Yoga with Bir Krishna Goswami

Laugh Yoga during a picnic in Helsinki
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2932828682381191751

Laugh Yoga with Master Laugh Therapist BK Goswami - Laugh Yoga at It's Best In Split Croatia - 1 hr 41 min 49 sec - Aug 30, 2007
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5224249030279265816


This is a MUST READ =>;-Q
http://www.digitalsawdust.com

Four Wives parable:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/4wives.pps

 Click on this link to see how really short life is.
http://www.sastradana.com/video/lifeisshort.wmv

sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP

Angry mouths flip out at a Press Conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym9hMtpk9d4

12 days of Xmas Indian style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE





hahaha I've told this one a few Xmas's, but still funny - JTCd

108% TRUE

As everyone knows for decades now Christmas has developed into one of the biggest money spinning ventures of all time. It has been so institutionalised like this that even our devotees would "get into the Xmas spirit" to distribute more books.

Putting on Santa Klaus outfits they would take to the airports and try to stop passers by. On one such occasion, during this partying period of the year a drunk came to harass a devotee dressed as Santa. The irate drunk shouted, whilst brandishing a hand gun at the devotee, "You're not Santa, your one of those Hare Krishna's ...........you're not Santa you're a fraud."

The devotee keeping a cool head opened his Bhagavad Gita As It Is, to the verse 3:13 and showed the irate drunk. See Srila Prabhupada says here in this purport, "That all the devotees are santa !"

....now we expect you to go to that purport right now, come on it's worth it.

.....needless to say shastra saved the day again, and the devotee went on to distribute many of Srila Prabhupada's books

Told to me by Brighupati dasa ACBSP in 1993, who was there at the time.


A role model - what is acceptable to give to Santa...used to be milk and cookies


Respecting the Beliefs of Others
http://www.utahkrishnas.com/main/page.asp?id=737

People keep telling me that I should respect the beliefs of others. That sounds entirely reasonable, at least until you think about it. The problem is in knowing where to draw the line. I can understand why, for example, Presbyterians should respect the beliefs of Methodists. They’re practically the same thing.

But what about those Heaven’s Gate guys who believed they should kill themselves so their souls could follow a comet? Am I obligated to respect those beliefs too? How about the people who give away all of their possessions because they have determined the exact date that the world will end? Do I respect their opinions up to the predicted end-time and then, after it passes, keep on respecting their opinion while they are begging the neighbors to give back their crap?

I respect the Mormons for doing a great job of creating good citizens. Whatever they’re doing seems to be working. You rarely hear about a gang of violent Mormons terrorizing a town. But must I also respect their practice of wearing special underpants to ward off evil? Is it a package deal, no pun intended?

I suppose you could argue that we should respect any religion that is peaceful and has good intentions at its core. And I certainly agree with treating all people with respect even if you’re not feeling it on the inside. But it seems to me dishonest to display respect for all beliefs equally. Surely there are beliefs that deserve slightly less respect than others.

This has to be an even bigger problem for those of you who have a religion of your own. You’re thinking something along the lines of “My prophet talked to a real angel whereas your prophet was evidently taking a drunken forest wiz and thought a tree stump was talking back to him.”

I also wonder if showing respect for all beliefs is causing more problems than it’s avoiding. The only thing that keeps most people from acting on their absurd beliefs is the fear that other people will treat them like frickin’ retards. Mockery is an important social tool for squelching stupidity. At least that’s what I tell people after I mock them. Or to put it another way, I’ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I’ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

Many of our biggest world problems are caused by different religious views. But it’s not socially acceptable to even discuss whether those views originate from the almighty or a drunken guy wizzing on a tree stump. At a bare minimum, just to pick one example, either Christianity or Islam is completely and utterly wrong. The beliefs are mutually exclusive. Muslims believe all Christians will burn in Hell. Christians believe that the Koran is fiction. They can’t both be right. (They could obviously both be wrong if the Heaven’s Gate guys turn out to have it right.)

I fantasize about becoming President one day and insisting on settling the question of which religion is “right.” I’d assemble all the experts on history and religious and science, and televise them arguing the merits and evidence of their sides, with cross-examination and ­ most important ­ mocking. There would be no stop date for this debate. It would continue until even a child could recognize which positions are the most easily mocked. Sometimes that’s as close to wisdom as we can get.


Even the sea gulls in Allahabad on the Ganges know the difference between the general saint population of Allahabad (Prayag) and a santa fraud.

 

Careful when parking over Xmas

Xmas in India



This story comes from England -- and it actually closely resembles a story shared with me a number of years ago by northeast Indiana family.
(It shows how kinds minds around the world work alike!)

Fiona was trained as an art teacher and a Montessori teacher in Dublin, Ireland, and this is where this story occurred.

She was working with 3 and 4 year-olds in the weeks prior to Christmas and they all painted nativity pictures.
Fiona was wandering about helping a child here, commenting there.

"Look at the wonderful star!" she told one little boy.

Then she noticed what appeared to be an "aeroplane" (spelled the British way) in the sky.

"What's that?" Fiona asked, thinking that she would have to explain that in those days there were no aeroplanes.

"That's Pontious the Pilot," the little boy replied.

Fiona Pinsker (now in Bristol, England)

from Verneita Boonlom



.......of the irony and dualities of this world:

Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale.
Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.




Classmates were talking about contacting their parents at Christmas and lamenting the cost of long distance phone service and debating the relative advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint.

"I've found CTC to be the cheapest plan around," offered one.

"CTC? Who are they?"

"You know..." he responded. "Call Them Collect."




It was the day AFTER Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking at the manger scene when he noticed that the baby Jesus figure was missing from the cradle.  He immediately turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon walking down the street.
In the wagon was the figure of the infant Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, "Son, where did you get that little baby Jesus that's in your wagon?"

The little boy replied, "I got Him from the church."

"And why did you take Him?" asked the pastor.

The little boy replied, "Well, about a week before Christmas, I prayed to the Lord Jesus.
I told Him if He would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give Him a ride around the block in it."


Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.


One Liners That Make You Smile - Part One...

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.



 



 


A man's wife has an artificial leg. Shortly before Christmas, he buys her a new prosthetic and hides it in the closet. She,
unfortunately, finds it and confronts him with the artificial limb.

"This wouldn't, by any chance, be my only Christmas present from you, would it?" she asks.

Caught, and realizing his mistake, he covers himself by declaring, "No, of course not darling! It's just a stocking stuffer."

  Did you ever wonder? 


I have a friend who is a cross-dresser. He says that Christmas is his favorite time of the year.

When asked why, he replies, "Well, I can eat, drink, and be Mary."


so many people end up sick as a dog at xmas time......


Pauly's family is at dinner, the 10-year-old daughter isn't eating much, and she just keeps her head down... After a few minutes, she says, "I have something to tell you." Everyone gets silent and they all listen. "I am no longer the virgin I used to be." And she begins to cry.

A long silence, and Pauly speaks to MrsPauly: "It's your fault, you know, always dressed and made up like a tramp. You think that's an example for your daughter? Always wallowing on the sofa; it's just terrible; that's why problems like this come up!

Then MrsPauly lights in on Pauly: "And YOU! Do you think that you're a good example? Wasting your scrawny paycheck with your drinking buddies who even come drunk into the house--do you think that's a good example for a little girl 10 years old?"

Then Pauly charges back in: "And her sister, that no-good, with her hairy and dope-crazed boyfriend, always with their hands all over each other and screwing in every room in the house--you think that's a good example too?" And it goes on and on, back and forth.

Then the grandmother hugs the little girl to console her and asks, "Now, darling, how did this happen?

And the little girl answers, trying to hold back her sobbing: "Father Michael chose another girl to be the Virgin in the Christmas pageant this year."
 
 

...........and now you are going to blame me !!!! your mind !!!!


"look I got a new bike for Xmas........weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

A new mother went to the psychiatrist worried. "Doctor," she said, "Since I had the baby I can't sleep at night.
When I'm in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won't hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?"

"Easy," said the doctor. "Just take the carpet off the floor, then you will hear the baby hit the floor."


The turkey's hinding - so have a nice vegetarian Xmas

The ways of this material world - strange but true

......see, even the Royals' have to let rip !!!



A new service promises Londoners they'll never have to spend much time looking for a restroom.

People in London can now text the word "toilet" - and receive a text back with the address of the nearest public facility.

The texts cost about 50 cents.

.........talk about "spending a penny"


A man wrote a letter to the IRS: "I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax.
I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $200.00. If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."



The military theorist and historian B. H. Liddell Hart once remarked to George Bernard Shaw: "Do you know that 'sumac' and 'sugar' are the only two words in the English language that begin with 'su' and are pronounced 'shu'?"

Replied Shaw : "Are you sure ?



Bubba Claus and Santa Claus, There Are Differences Such As:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:
"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and corn grits [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear, "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt Jr. ,
on Andretti, on Elliott, and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.

And Finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree, so as not to go blind from "rear cleavage".


not sure if he'll be back next year.......

2007 Darwinian Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here then, is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

AND NOW, THE HONORABLE MENTIONS:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

From Sue:


for some business "drops off" at Xmas


Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand

SUCCESS, n. The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. In literature, and particularly in poetry, the elements of success are exceedingly simple, and are admirably set forth in the following lines by the reverend Father Gassalasca Jape, entitled, for some mysterious reason, "John A. Joyce."

The bard who would prosper must carry a book,
Do his thinking in prose and wear
A crimson cravat, a far-away look
And a head of hexameter hair.
Be thin in your thought and your body'll be fat;
If you wear your hair long you needn't your hat.

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/

.......more optical illusions and paradigm twists here:

SUFFRAGE, n. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized. Refusal to do so has the bad name of "incivism." The incivilian, however, cannot be properly arraigned for his crime, for there is no legitimate accuser. If the accuser is himself guilty he has no standing in the court of opinion; if not, he profits by the crime, for A's abstention from voting gives greater weight to the vote of B. By female suffrage is meant the right of a woman to vote as some man tells her to. It is based on female responsibility, which is somewhat limited. The woman most eager to jump out of her petticoat to assert her rights is first to jump back into it when threatened with a switching for misusing them

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/


Birth control

"Doctor, can you tell me what I can do to keep from getting pregnant?"

"Why certainly, just have a soft drink and a pretzel."

"Before or after?"

"Neither before nor after. INSTEAD OF!!"

In Honour of Stupid People:

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Woolworth's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom)
" Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Pick n' Pay's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
" Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On a Clicks hair dryer -
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Simba Chips --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary!
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dove soap -
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)

On some Checkers frozen dinners -
" Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(please note that it's just a suggestion.)

On the packaging of a Rowenta iron -
" Don't iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)

On some brands of Christmas lights of Eastern origin:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, please help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

Instructions on a SA Airways packet of peanuts -
[1] Open packet;
[2] Eat nuts.
(Step 3: say what?)

On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(Don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
 
On a German chainsaw ..
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


some Israeli humour, seen written on the wall between Israel & Palestine



"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.

The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

The teacher asked, "Do you know what pregnant means?"

"Sure," said the young boy confidently.  "It means carrying a child."


It's all a commercial hype, even I saw through that !!!!



oh and by the way......

With the road toll continuing to increase each year especially around the Christmas Holiday period, this will be the first year that Zero Tolerance Speed Cameras will be introduced in Australia and New Zealand in  December, gearing up to the holiday period.

The new cameras look different to the normal cameras, so I have included
a photo so that you are familiar with them and able to make sure not to speed when approaching.

Please take this warning seriously as you will not get another chance.

(you can all thank Prananath prabhu in Christchurch for that)
 

.......and always remember (don't forget...)
SMILE IT MAKES THE WORLD WONDER WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO ;)

Please Try our little Colour Test - Right Brain vs Left Brain:
http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf


 
 


































































































I can't believe you actually clicked on that