Krishna Conscious - Vedikly acceptable Jokes


Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves  =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages

Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm

'Hasya' or humour, created using either a situation or a behaviour-mode, easily reveals in dialogues and gestures during a play but a difficult theme for a sculpture or painting. There are, however, some excellent examples of 'Hasya' in pictoral art also and these days in cartoons. Besides caricatures and 'bhangeris'-type characters, myths, legends or stories are also used for depicting humour. For example Lord Shiva is camping with Parvati under a tree in the forest. As Shiva is adorned with serpents, a serpent, drapes across the otherwise naked form of Shiva like a loincloth, is covering his private parts. Hearing of him being there under the tree, Lord Vishnu, along with Garuda, His faithful vehicle, comes to pay him homage. The snake, as soon as it sees the bird carrier Garuda, his natural enemy, abandons Shiva leaving him all exposed and naked and flees into an anthill. It is humour by situation. Deliberate tricks and or sarcasm, usually bringing forth the philosophy and culture, sometimes in Krishna-related themes, are also used for creating humour.

To read more about Hasya visit our pages

FOR YOUR INTEREST: This one is not a joke but I thought you might like to know. These are the names of Lord Caitanya taken from the book "Sri Caitanya Sahasra Nama Stotra", i.e. "A Thousand Names of Lord Caitanya" by Srila Kavi Karnapura (as translated by HG Kusakratha Prabhu from the Krsna Institute)...

        So Lord Caitanya is known as the one:

 - hasya-kari  &  hasya-yuk  ==> who laughs & jokes

 - hasya-priya  ==> who is fond of joking

 - hasya-nagara ==> who is the hero of those expert in speaking joking words

 - hasya-grami  &  hasya-kara  ==> is expert at joking

 - pushpa-hasa  ==> whose smile & laugh are as charminng as flowers.

Lord Gauranga's smiling & laughing qualities ki...

                                                ys Radhe Govinda dasa

P.S. One of the qualities of Srimati Radharani is that she is very expert in the art of joking.

This is a MUST READ =>;-Q
http://www.digitalsawdust.com

Four Wives parable:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/4wives.pps

 Click on this link to see how really short life is.
http://www.sastradana.com/video/lifeisshort.wmv

sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP

Angry mouths flip out at a Press Conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym9hMtpk9d4

12 days of Xmas Indian style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE

Festival of Inspiration New Vrindavan with H.G. Yadunath Prabhu


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOmRWq8wC_g


The philosophy professor teaching a course my friend was taking warned the class he was going to give them a test. When the day came he entered the classroom, wordlessly placed his chair on the table and, turning to the blackboard, wrote, "Prove to me this chair does not exist." Most of the nervous students began intently scribbling out long dissertations.

But one member of the class wrote down just two words, and then handed his paper to the teacher.
The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer: "What chair?"


sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu IDS in CHCH


.....need Engrish editor

How Hot Is It In India In Summer?

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs to come over......
Hogs and dogs lay in the black water sewarage (nullah) beside the road to cool off.
The seats on rickshaws resemble hot-plates.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside to go to Mangal Arati.
The walls of your room radiate heat for about a yard/metre.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper, and make a simple offering.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
Electricity for the overhead fan is a treasured comodity
Punkha wallas are highly valued.....
After bathing in the Ganges or Yamuna rivers your clothes will be totally dry in ten minutes MAXIMUM
Sleeping at night is a myth....
One mosquitto in a room can make life misery
Mosquitto nets are a wonderful invention.

What ones can you think of???

sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu IDS in CHCH


sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu IDS in CHCH


Dial-a-prayer

More major cities have a "dial-a-prayer" number for anyone requiring religious reassurance in the form of a brief, prerecorded sermon.

Now there's talk of establishing a similar number for atheists. When you dial it, no one answers.


sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu IDS in CHCH


Police in northern India are being paid an extra 65 cents a month to grow a mustache to give them more authority.

Mayank Jain, a manager with state police, claims, " Research showed that police with mustaches were taken more seriously.

However, he added, the shape and style of police mustaches would be monitored to ensure they did not take on a mean look.

sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu IDS in CHCH


Historians say that the only similarity between ancient biblical times and the 1970's is that both were full of people getting stoned.

Did you ever wonder? 


Is Physiology: The study of carbonated drinks by devotees?


prasadam ki jai


sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu IDS in CHCH


A Hypochondriac: is someone who feels bad when he feels good because he knows he'll feel worse when he feels better.


The ways of this material world - strange but true


sent in by Hrishikeshananda prabhu ACBSP - Thailand

Did you hear about the person who witnessed a robbery in a fabric factory and immediately called the police.
They caught the culprit and held him as a material witness.

Karma Bites

May 25th, 2007

A more twisted-than-usual crime story made the top 10 this week, with a Californian man meeting his end after trying to murder his girlfriend by leaving her in a car parked across railway lines. In a truly astonishing display of karma, the man was killed when an oncoming train hurled the car into him as he fled. His girlfriend survived,the Associated Press reported.

The man drove the car to the head of a line of traffic stopped at a level crossing in the San Fernando Valley neighbourhood of Sunland on Monday, police spokesman Mike Lopez said.

The man, who was seen arguing with the woman, then parked the car on the tracks and jumped out, leaving her behind, Mr Lopez said.

A 450-tonne commuter train hit the rear of the car, launching it into the man.

The girlfriend, who was injured , was taken to hospital in a stable condition.

“She gets hit by a train and lives. He gets hit by his own car and he dies,'’ Mr Lopez said.

No one aboard the train, which was carrying 132 passengers and crew, was injured, a Metrolink spokeswoman said.

from http://www.sivaramaswami.com/?p=1223

sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu IDS in CHCH

SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as, the Dalai Lama of Thibet; the Moogum of M'bwango; the temple of Apes in Ceylon; the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt; the Mufti of Moosh; the hair of the dog that bit Noah, etc.

All things are either sacred or profane.
The former to ecclesiasts bring gain;
The latter to the devil appertain.
Dumbo Omohundro

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/


.......more optical illusions and paradigm twists here:

SACRAMENT, n. A solemn religious ceremony to which several degrees of authority and significance are attached. Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity. Some of the smaller sects have no sacraments at all -- for which mean economy they will indubitable be damned. .

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/


sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu IDS in CHCH


German police who stormed a house expecting to find crooks drilling their

way into a safe found a dentist working a night shift.

Neighbors heard the drilling noises at night at the flat used as a dental surgery in

Moenchengladbach, Germany, and called police who sent five patrol cars to the address.

After hearing the drilling noises, police officers broke down the door - only to

find dentist Hennas Mader working a late shift on a patient.


sent in by Jvala Nrsimha prabhu IDS in CHCH

.......and always remember (don't forget...)
SMILE IT MAKES THE WORLD WONDER WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO ;)

Please Try our little Colour Test - Right Brain vs Left Brain:
http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf