Krishna Conscious - Vedikly acceptable Jokes


Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves  =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages

Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm

'Hasya' or humour, created using either a situation or a behaviour-mode, easily reveals in dialogues and gestures during a play but a difficult theme for a sculpture or painting. There are, however, some excellent examples of 'Hasya' in pictoral art also and these days in cartoons. Besides caricatures and 'bhangeris'-type characters, myths, legends or stories are also used for depicting humour. For example Lord Shiva is camping with Parvati under a tree in the forest. As Shiva is adorned with serpents, a serpent, drapes across the otherwise naked form of Shiva like a loincloth, is covering his private parts. Hearing of him being there under the tree, Lord Vishnu, along with Garuda, His faithful vehicle, comes to pay him homage. The snake, as soon as it sees the bird carrier Garuda, his natural enemy, abandons Shiva leaving him all exposed and naked and flees into an anthill. It is humour by situation. Deliberate tricks and or sarcasm, usually bringing forth the philosophy and culture, sometimes in Krishna-related themes, are also used for creating humour.

To read more about Hasya visit our pages

FOR YOUR INTEREST: This one is not a joke but I thought you might like to know. These are the names of Lord Caitanya taken from the book "Sri Caitanya Sahasra Nama Stotra", i.e. "A Thousand Names of Lord Caitanya" by Srila Kavi Karnapura (as translated by HG Kusakratha Prabhu from the Krsna Institute)...

        So Lord Caitanya is known as the one:

 - hasya-kari  &  hasya-yuk  ==> who laughs & jokes

 - hasya-priya  ==> who is fond of joking

 - hasya-nagara ==> who is the hero of those expert in speaking joking words

 - hasya-grami  &  hasya-kara  ==> is expert at joking

 - pushpa-hasa  ==> whose smile & laugh are as charminng as flowers.

Lord Gauranga's smiling & laughing qualities ki...

                                                ys Radhe Govinda dasa

P.S. One of the qualities of Srimati Radharani is that she is very expert in the art of joking.

This is a MUST READ =>;-Q
http://www.digitalsawdust.com

Four Wives parable:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/4wives.pps

 Click on this link to see how really short life is.
http://www.sastradana.com/video/lifeisshort.wmv

sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP

Angry mouths flip out at a Press Conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym9hMtpk9d4

12 days of Xmas Indian style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE




The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find
compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.

-- Bertrand Russell

A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry
and by common hatred of its neighbors.

William Ralph Inge

God save me from my friends -
I can protect myself from my enemies.

Marshall de Villars

Fred Allen Quotes
1894-1956, American Comedian, Radio Star

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

I didn't make it in television because of ill health. I made people sick.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.

There's an old saying that if all the politicians in the world were laid end to end, they'd still be lying.

When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as if the strings are back in the cat.

Did you ever wonder?

Dining out one evening, I noticed six teenagers boisterously celebrating some event at a nearby table.

Toward their end of their meal, one of them got up and produced a camera.

"Hey, wait a minute," one of her companions said. "You have to be in the picture too."

When I approached and asked if I could help, the girl who owned the camera was delighted. I snapped a picture of the group and then, being unfamiliar with the camera, I asked her, "Do you want me to take another in case that one doesn't come out?"

"Oh, no, that's okay," she chirped innocently. "I always get the double prints."

Long life

A man once counseled his son that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was liberal amounts
of good sex and to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his cereal every morning.

The son did this religiously, and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 34 children, 48 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, a
nd a 15 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.


Here are some home treatments for you experts

Home Remedies:

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat to clear the blockage instantly.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for awhile, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over back to sleep once you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

Sometimes we just need to remember what "The Rules of Life" really are:

1. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

2. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

4. Never lick a steak knife.

5. When life hands you lemons, grab the tequila and the salt!

6. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

7. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person.

8. Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

--
sent in Bhai SHER SINGH AGRAWAL
Please see my blog at HTTP://agrasen.blogspot.com

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga.

She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally. Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness.

"No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."


The ways of this material world - strange but true

One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of apple pie and gave me the larger.
Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don't love me any more..."

"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."

The 37-year-old Englishman was easily identified because he filmed himself leaving his front door.

The footage was spotted by police on the Internet who - in the first case of its kind - are using the video as evidence and have sent a file to the courts.

Detectives expect dangerous driving charges to be brought within the next few days.

REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

Desirous to avoid the pains of Hell,
You will repent and join the Church, Parnell?
How needless! -- Nick will keep you off the coals
And add you to the woes of other souls.

Jomater Abemy

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/

.......more optical illusions and paradigm twists here:


Then & now

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.

1963 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

from Patricia


REPROBATION, n. In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/


 

Take aim.............

Oxygen good - price bad!

Touting such benefits as improved concentration and stopping hangovers, Oxia pure oxygen canisters are becoming  a major trend in New York.

Containing 40 deep breaths worth of pure oxygen, the canisters are being marketed at New York locales such as   the Bergdorf Goodman department store at the introductory cost of $70, said the New York Post.

With refills of oxygen made available at $15 a pop, the Oxia canisters are being oriented toward ordinary people suffering from stress,
and travelers beset by jet lag.

"It's what bottled water was 20 years ago," said Oxia co-founder Bryce Margetts. Margetts says Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler and New York Giants defensive end Michael Strahan are among his celebrity clients, the newspaper reported.

What do you think of oxygen canisters being the newsest trend?

(Glad *you* asked ! Get thee near some trees, OUT of *The City,* take a walk and BREATHE !
Repeat as often as your *busy* schedule allows.)

from Patricia


.......and always remember (don't forget...)
SMILE IT MAKES THE WORLD WONDER WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO ;)

Please Try our little Colour Test - Right Brain vs Left Brain:
http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


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