Family in Krishna Consciousness

The Sum and Substance of Progressive and Positive
Family Life
in Krishna Consciousness

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Traditional Vedik perspectives on Prabhupada's teachings

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Çréla Prabhupäda: ....Just like generally a person is alone, but he gets a wife with a hope for enjoying family life, children, wife, friends. Gåha-kñetra, ataù gåha-kñetra-sutäpta-vittaiù. Gåha means apartment, and kñetra means land. Gåha-kñetra-suta. Suta means children. Ataù gåha-kñetra-suta äpta. Äpta means friends, society. Ataù gåha-kñetra-sutäpta-vittaiù. Äpta means friends, society, and to support all these things—Gåha, kñetra, suta, äpta,—there is required money, vitta. Vitta means money. Ataù gåha-kñetra-sutäpta-vittair janasya moho ’yam ahaà mameti [SB 5.5.8]. This is material life. Gåha, kñetra. “I must have Gåha.” Gåha means with wife. Na gåhaà gåham ity ähur gåhiëé gåham ucyate. Gåha. Gåha means house.
So we are also living in house, very nice house. But still, we are not gåhastha. A Gåha, to live in a house, does not mean a gåhastha. Na gåhaà gåham ity ähuù. Gåhastha means gåha. Gåhe tiñöhati iti gåhastha. Every Sanskrit word has got elaborate meaning. Gåhastha means one who stays in gåha, in house. He is called gåhastha. So we can be called gåhastha also. We are living in house. No. Çästra says, na gåhaà gåham ity ähuù: “Simply a house is not gåha.” There must be the housewife. That means wife. Gåhiëé gåham ucyate. In Hindi this word is used, garbhali means if there is no wife, that is not gåha. Cäëakya Paëòita says, putra-hénaà gåhaà çünyam. “You have got wife, but if you have no children, that gåha is also void.” So gåhastha means to live with wife and children, and cultivating spiritual life. That is called gåhastha. It doesn’t matter, you live with your wife and children, or you live with brahmacäré, sannyäsé. Anything. It doesn’t matter. Therefore there are so many divisions of life. Whichever status of life is suitable for you, you can accept. Brahmacäré, gåhastha, vänaprastha, sannyäsa äçrama. Äçrama, when the word is added, äçrama, that means it has got reference with cultivation of spiritual life. So gåhastha-äçrama. One can live at home with wife and children, but the business should be Kåñëa consciousness. We don’t accept the Mäyävädé sannyäsé because there is no Kåñëa consciousness. Simply by becoming sannyäsé... Brahma satyaà jagan mithyä: “This world is false. Brahman is truth. So I give up this world.” That kind of sannyäsé we do not accept. Either you become gåhastha or sannyäsé or brahmacäré, there must be Kåñëa. Then it will be called äçrama. Gåhastha-äçrama, sannyäsa-äçrama, brahmacäré-äçrama. Therefore this word is added, äçrama.
So Arjuna is in gåhastha-äçrama. He wants to serve Kåñëa. He’s Kåñëa’s friend. He is a devotee. Kåñëa has already recommended. In the Fourth Chapter He will declare, bhakto ’si priyo ’si me. “You are My dear friend. You are My devotee.” So he is qualified, gåhastha-äçramé. He is devotee of Kåñëa, but he is also family man. He has his wife, children. So here the problem is what is çreyas? What is ultimate good? That is mistaken here. Therefore Bhagavad-gétä is required. He is thinking that “Kåñëa is not so important. My family is important. My family.” Although he is devotee. Therefore kaniñöha-adhikäré, in the lower stage of devotee, in the lower stage of devotion, one may be interested in Kåñëa consciousness, but his real interest is how to improve this material life. Just like: “O God, give us our daily bread.” So he has gone to God not to serve God, but to take bread. Ärtaù arthärthé. That is also good. But he... Because he has gone to God to ask for bread, he is better than the rascals who do not care for God. He has gone to God. That is recommended in the Bhagavad-gétä. Ärto jijïäsur arthärthé jïäné ca bharatarñabha. Catur-vidhä bhajante mäà janäù sukåtino ’rjuna. “Arjuna, four kinds of people, they become devotee.” Who are they? Ärta. Ärta means distressed. Arthärthé, one who is poor, wants some money; jijïäsu, inquisitive; and jïäné, and a man of knowledge. So ärtaù arthärthé, this is meant, this is referred to the gåhastha. The gåhasthas, they become sometimes distressed. The gåhastha-äçrama means unless there is Kåñëa or full consciousness of Kåñëa, it is simply miserable, simply miserable. Duùkhälayam açäçvatam [Bg. 8.15]. Simply working hard day and night, then there is, child is sick, then wife is not satisfied, the servant is not satisfied... So many things, problem. But if there is Kåñëa in the center, the all problems will be solved. But people do not know this. They think that “I shall be happy with wife, children, servants, house, and this and that.” No. That is not possible. Therefore one should be in gåhastha-äçrama. Not only in family life. Family, the dogs have got family life. He has got wife, children. The cats and the hogs, a big family. Because a hog begets, at a time, one dozen children. What you beget? You are afraid of begetting one child even. This contraceptive method. But they are not afraid. They beget one dozen children at a time, twice in a year. So to live with family, wife, children... Then the hog accepts family life. No. That is not family life. You live with wife, children, peacefully, if you like, but bring in Kåñëa in the center. That is gåhastha-äçrama.
(Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Bhagavad Gita class BG 1:31. 24th July 1973. London.)

"WHILE LOCATED IN THE MAYIC WORLD MAN MUST LIVE PEACEFULLY WITH THE OBJECT OF CULTIVATING THE SPIRIT. IN HIS SOCIETY HE MUST LEAD A PURE LIFE, AVOID SINS AND DO AS MUCH GOOD AS HE CAN TO HIS BROTHER MAN. HE MUST BE HIMSELF HUMBLE BEARING DIFFICULTIES OF LIFE WITH HEROISM, MUST NOT BRAG OF ANY GOODNESS OR GRANDEUR HE HAS AND MUST TREAT EVERYONE WITH THE RESPECT DUE TO HIM. MARRIAGE WITH A VIEW TO PEACEFUL AND VIRTUOUS LIFE AND WITH A VIEW TO PROCREATE SERVANTS OF THE LORD IS A GOOD INSTITUTION FOR A VAISNAVA. SPIRITUAL CULTIVATION IS THE MAIN OBJECT OF LIFE. DO EVERYTHING THAT HELPS IT AND ABSTAIN FROM DOING ANYTHING WHICH THWARTS THE CULTIVATION OF THE SPIRIT. HAVE A STRONG FAITH THAT KRISHNA ALONE PROTECTS YOU AND NONE ELSE. ADMIT HIM AS YOUR ONLY GUARDIAN. DO EVERYTHING WHICH YOU KNOW KRISHNA WISHES YOU TO DO AND NEVER THINK THAT YOU DO A THING INDEPENDENT OF THE HOLY WISH OF KRISHNA. DO ALL THAT YOU DO WITH HUMILITY. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE A SOJOURNER IS THIS WORLD AND YOU MUST BE PREPARED FOR YOUR OWN HOME. DO YOUR DUTIES AND CULTIVATE BHAKTI AS A MEANS TO OBTAIN THE GREAT END OF LIFE, KRISHNA-PRITI. EMPLOY YOUR BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT IN THE SERVICE OF THE DEITY. IN ALL YOUR ACTIONS, WORSHIP THE GREAT LORD. DO THESE WITH YOUR HEART, MIND AND STRENGTH IN THE COMPANY OF SPIRITUAL PEOPLE ALONE, AND YOU WILL SEE KRISHNA IN NO TIME." ( SRILA BHAKTIVINODA THAKUR 1896 )

Çréla Prabhupäda: So unless you get happiness of the soul, simply trying to get happiness of the body and the mind, you’ll never get happiness. That is the information in this verse. Sa vai puàsäm paro dharmo [SB 1.2.6]. Dharma means religion, English translation. But according to the Vedic understanding dharma means the characteristic. Everything has got a characteristic. In the chemical laboratory when something is tested the characteristic is tested. “This is this chemical, it has got so many characteristics.” So our characteristic, we living entities, we have got our characteristic. What is that characteristic, general characteristics? In this meeting we may be sitting, so many people, one may be Hindu, one may be... Because I am talking of Hindu, Muslim, Christian. Here the word is used, dharma. Sa vai puàsäm paro dharmo [SB 1.2.6]. So dharma, we generally understand that I am Hindu, I am Muslim, I am Christian, I am Arya-samaji, I am this, I am that. That is generally taken as dharma. But according to Vedic principle dharma means characteristic. Just like chili—to become hot—the characteristic of chili. We test in the market when we go to purchase chili, we test how strong it is hot. If it is not very strong in its hottiness, then we reject. “No, no, it is not good chili.” Chili must be very hot. That is characteristic, that is dharma. Sugar must be very sweet. That is characteristic, that is dharma. Sa vai puàsäm paro dharmo [SB 1.2.6]. So at the present moment, being entrapped by the material nature, we have accepted different types of dharmas. That is artificial. That is artificial. “I am Hindu,” “I am Muslim,” “I am Christian,” “I am Buddhist,” “I am this,” “I am that.” These are all in relationship with this body. Accidentally if I am born in a Hindu family, or Muslim family, or Christian family, I identify myself, “I am Hindu,” “I am Muslim,” “I am Christian.” But real identification is, as I have already explained to you, ahaà brahmäsmi, I am Brahman. I am the spirit soul. So when you come to that platform of spiritual understanding then our characteristic should be manifested. What is that? That is explained here, sa vai puàsäà paro dharmo yato bhaktir adhokñaje [SB 1.2.6]. Bhakti—to become devotee of the Supreme Lord. That is our real characteristic. To become devotee is already manifest. I am devotee to my country, I am devotee to my society, I am devotee to my family, I am devotee to my husband, to my wife, to my children. So devotion is already there. But that is not paro dharmo. When we become devotee of the Supreme Lord, that is our real characteristic. Devotion is already there, service is already there. Nobody can say that, “I do not serve anyone.” No, that is not possible. You must serve. Because that is your characteristic, that is your dharma. Everyone is serving. If a person has nobody to serve, he keeps a cat, he keeps a dog and serves him. So to give service, to love somebody else, that is my real characteristic. But I am missing the point. I am loving cats and dogs and so many things, but I am missing to love God. That is the missing point. Love is there, object of love is there, but it is misplaced. Therefore, we are not getting happiness. When it will be properly placed, love and the object of love, then we’ll be happy.
(Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 26th November 1972. Srimad Bhagavatam 1:2:6. lecture. Hyderabad, India.)

Çréla Prabhupäda: Very good. Surrender unto God is real spiritual life. Sarva-dharmän parityajya [Bg. 18.66]. Surrender to God means accepting that which is favorable to God and rejecting that which is unfavorable. The devotee is always convinced that God will give him all protection. He remains humble and meek and thinks himself as one of the members of God’s family. This is real spiritual communism. Communists think, “I am a member of a certain community,” but it is a man’s duty to think, “I am a member of God’s family.” God is the supreme father, material nature is the mother, and living entities are all sons of God. There are living entities everywhere—on land and in the air and water. There is no doubt that material nature is the mother, and according to our experience we can understand that a mother cannot produce a child without a father. It is absurd to think that a child can be born without a father. A father must be there, and the supreme father is God. In Kåñëa consciousness, a person understands that the creation is a spiritual family headed by one supreme father.
(Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. The Quest for Enlightenment Chapter 6. Discussions on Western Philosophy and Science.)

Çréla Prabhupäda: ....But in the same category we must live and execute our Kåñëa consciousness. Then these impediments, gåheñu saktasya pramattasya. Anyone who is..., all the karmés, they are attached to this family life, but family life is good provided there is Kåñëa consciousness. Gåhe vä vanete thäke, hä gauräìga bole däke. It doesn’t matter, either he is in family life or he’s in sannyäsé life, if he’s a devotee, then his life is successful.
(Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 24th June 1976. Srimad Bhagavatam 7:6:8. lecture. New Vrindavan.)

My dear Maeve Davies,

Please accept my blessings. I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated 7 February, 1976. Please do not be worried. Our movement is essentially for spreading this chanting of Hare Krishna world wide. And the main responsibility of my disciples is to follow the four regulative principles and chant 16 rounds without fail. Please worry about that first. The best thing is to send your daughter to Gurukula, but if you cannot do that, then somehow see that she is trained nicely in Krishna Consciousness.

I hope this meets you well.
Your ever well-wisher,
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami

(S.P.Letter to: Maeve Davies 21 February, 1976)

Çréla Prabhupäda: ....So in a, in our Bengali language, it is said that if the king is sinful, the whole kingdom becomes lost. And if in the family, if the housewife is sinful, then the whole family becomes lost. It is a common saying.
(Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada.4th January 1973. Nectar of Devotion class. Bombay.)

Pradyumna: “In the primary stage a child loves his parents, then his brothers and sisters. And as he daily grows up, he begins to love his family, society, community, country, nation or even the whole human society. But the loving propensity is not satisfied even by loving all human society. That loving propensity remains imperfectly fulfilled...”
Prabhupäda: When Vyäsadeva finished his all scripture writing, all the Vedas, Puräëas, even Brahma-sütra, he was not happy. He was not happy, and his spiritual master, Närada, came, inquired: “Why you are not happy? You have done so much work.” So he could not explain. He said, “I, I do not find why I am unhappy. But because you are my spiritual master, you can say.” So he indicated that “Because you did not describe about the Supreme Personality of Godhead, therefore you are not happy. Now you try to describe the Supreme Personality of Godhead, particularly.” And therefore he wrote this Çrémad-Bhägavatam. You’ll find this in the Third Chapter of the First Canto. Hmm.
Pradyumna: “But that loving propensity is not satisfied even by loving all of human society.” Oh. “That loving propensity remains imperfectly fulfilled until we know who is the supreme beloved.”
Prabhupäda: Yes. Supreme beloved, Kåñëa. Supreme Person, supreme beautiful, supreme rich, supreme famous, supreme wise. Everything supreme. We love somebody, or, out of these six opulences, if one opulence is there... Suppose one man is very rich and charitable, we love him. And... Just think over how Kåñëa is rich and how He’s charitable. He is giving His charity, He’s distributing foodstuff, millions and millions of living entities every day. We are taking prou..., pride if we can feed, say, hundred, two hundred, five hundred, two thousand. But just imagine. Eko bahünäà vidadhäti kämän. There are millions and millions of elephants all over the universe; Kåñëa is supplying their food. There are so many animals. How they’re getting food? So many birds. How they can...? Actually there is no scarcity of food. The scarcity of food is for the human society, or the animals who live with them. Because actually the human society is misusing the advanced consciousness; therefore they are put into the trouble. At the present moment, there is scarcity of water all over India, and so many things are being restricted. But in the Bhagavad-gétä it is said, yajïäd bhavati parjanya. So they are not performing yajïas. So this is nature’s restriction. We have got this information. They are not performing yajïas. They, they think by science, by electricity, by this and that, shall provide everything. But then the electricity is being also reduced, supply of electricity is being controlled. And one after, one after another, one after another... Because the supreme controller, if He does not sanction, your so-called scientific improvement or so-called social service will not make the whole world satisfied. That is not possible. That is not possible. This secret is known to the devotees. Yes?
(Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 4th January 1973. Nectar of Devotion class. Bombay.)

Lecture
--
Detroit, July 17, 1971

710717LE.DET
(kértana, followed by small child playing karatälas)
Prabhupäda: Oh, very good. (laughs) Çucénäà çrématäà gehe yoga bhrañöa saïjäyate. When Arjuna asked Kåñëa that “Persons who are trying to make perfection in the bhakti-yoga...” Because the mäyä’s influence is very strong. Anyone practicing bhakti-yoga, sometimes he may fall down. But there is assurance that even one falls down, there is no loss. That has been advised by Närada Muni, that tyaktvä sva-dharmaà caraëämbujaà harer bhajann apakvo ’tha patet tato yadi [SB 1.5.17]. Just like in our movement somebody joins. A few cases have happened also that joined, being nice, but all of a sudden drifted from our Society. So Närada Muni advised that even some, sometimes somebody may not continue, but falls down, there is no loss. Tyaktvä sva-dharmaà caraëämbujam. And those who are sticking to their work, prescribed duties, but not in Kåñëa consciousness, what they are gaining? Just try to understand. A person, say, out of sentiment, or some other influence, he joins this Movement, Kåñëa consciousness, but could not follow strictly the rules and regulation and falls down. Närada Muni says there is no loss, even though he has fallen. But another person who is sticking to their material activities, a material... A karmé’s thinking, “What these people are doing? Simply wasting time. Let us do our duty. Let us produce something”—so-called production.
So Bhägavata says such persons who are very nicely done their materialistic way of life, duties, but has not taken to Kåñëa consciousness, what does he gain? This is the comparison. One joins this movement; due to some reason, immaturity, he falls down. For him the assurance is that he does not lose. He’s still gainer. But one who’s sticking to the material duties, but does not take to Kåñëa consciousness, Bhägavata says, “What does he gain?” It is very important question. The spiritualistic duties, transcendental duties, Kåñëa conscious duty is so nice that even if you fall down, whatever you have done, that is your guaranteed property. That is your guaranteed property. And anything, whatever you gain in this material world... Suppose you become very rich man, good factory, working. But as soon as this body’s ended, everything is ended. Lost everything. These things will not go with you. Your factory, your skyscraper building, your millions of dollars, bank balance, that you’ll have to leave behind you. You have to go with your work only, what you have done, pious or sinful activities. That will go with you. The result of pious activity and sinful activity will go with you. But in Kåñëa consciousness, whatever you have done, it will go with you, and to give you other chance you’ll have your birth in two nice places: çucénäà çrématäà gehe. Those who have fallen from this Kåñëa consciousness platform due to many reasons, maybe—he’s guaranteed next life a human form of life. And where? Çucénäà çrématäà gehe. You’ll take your birth in a nice devotee or brähmaëa’s house or in a rich man’s family. Not only your human form of life is guaranteed, but also in a better house, in a better family.

So these children who are born in our Kåñëa consciousness Society, they are those children, those who could not finish Kåñëa consciousness last life. They have been given to take birth in the family of devotee husband and wife; therefore he’s playing karatäla. Otherwise it is not possible. He had practice in his last life; therefore he’s quickly... He had got the chance. Again he’s remembering and playing. This is the fact. So we have to study from the çästric vision. Çästra-cakñuñät. How you’ll see? You’ll see through the authority, scriptures. So these are the statements of authoritative scriptures. Çucénäà çrématäà gehe. So this child is born of a devotee father and devotee mother. Now he’ll again begin from the point where he lost last life. Suppose Kåñëa consciousness he executed fifty percent. So he’ll begin from this life fifty-one percent. That fifty percent was in his stock. But ordinary karmés—cent percent lost. He has to begin another chapter of life according to his karma. Either he’ll become a man or dog, there is no guarantee. If he has maintained a dog mentality, then he’ll get a dog’s body. All this property he made in this life goes to hell. He becomes a dog if he has maintained a dog mentality. And if he has maintained a god’s mentality, then he becomes a god also. But that will depend on his work. But generally the karmés, they are not very good mentality. So there is risk. You do not know. Karmaëä daiva netreëa [SB 3.31.1]. The judgement will be done by the superior authority, and he’ll be given a particular type of body, as he has maintained the consciousness.

Therefore our business, this Kåñëa consciousness movement, is to train the followers to Kåñëa consciousness so that next life he gets Kåñëa consciousness atmosphere. He’s not promoted immediately, directly to the abode of Kåñëa. That is also possible. Mad-yäjino ’pi yänti mäm. “Those who are My devotees, they come to My place.” Kåñëa says. So if you perfect your Kåñëa consciousness in this life, then you’re guaranteed to be promoted to go back to home, back to Kåñëa. If you do not perfect, then next life is guaranteed, a very nice human body, either in a rich man’s family or in a Kåñëa conscious family. Just try to understand how nice this movement is.
Thank you very much. Hare Kåñëa.
(Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Lecture. 17th July 1971. Detroit.)

Prabhupäda: Tyaktvä sva-dharmaà caraëämbujaà hareù. Just like many of our disciples, as a matter of civilized man they should have remained at home, obedient to the parents, get married and live peacefully with father and mother. Of course, European, American boys, they do not do that. But it is expected that should be like that. Just like yourself. You should have lived with your father. He also. But you did not do this. So take it for granted, out of sentiment, you took to Kåñëa consciousness. Tyaktvä sva-dharmam. To live family life, peaceful life, obedient life to the fathers and mothers, this is called sva-dharma. So one gives up this sva-dharma, tyaktvä sva-dharmam, and takes to Kåñëa consciousness gone... Not many, a few. So Bhägavata says, yatra kva väbhadram abhüd amuñya kim: “What is the wrong there?” Even if he has fallen down, half-way, still there is no wrong. He has gained something. That much service which he has already given to Kåñëa, that is recorded. That is recorded. That is to his credit: “So this living entity has given service.” But other men, he’s very honestly living as a good citizen, as a good family member and good brähmaëa, good kñatriya... So ko värtha äpto ’bhajatäà sva-dharmataù. He’s sticking to his own principle of life, but he’s not a Kåñëa conscious devotee. Then what is his gain? He’ll simply take the fruits of his material activities and he’ll have to accept another body according to that. But here, as it is assured in Bhagavad-gétä that çucénäà çrématäà gehe yoga-bhrañöo ’bhijäyate [Bg. 6.41], this man, who took by sentiment Kåñëa consciousness, but could not follow it to the end; by some way or other, he has fallen but he’ll be given chance to take birth as a human being, guaranteed, in rich family, or in nice devotee family, yogi family or brähmaëa family. So he’ll be given chance. But that man will take only the reaction of his activities. Karmaëä daiva-netreëa [SB 3.31.1]. So if he has acted like cats and dogs, he’ll get the cats and dogs. But here it is guaranteed, here it is guaranteed that he’s going to get another human body and very nice family.
Çyämasundara: Does that guarantee that he’ll become a devotee again?
Prabhupäda: Yes. Because he had already practiced. So if he, if he remembers, if he’s intelligent, that “I’ve got this nice position, according to çästra, because I had some good devotional activities in my past life. Now let me finish. I’ll not fall down. I have no economic problem. I have got so much facilities. So let me advance in Kåñëa consciousness.” If he gets this... He’ll get that sense.
Çyämasundara: He automatically gets that standard.
Prabhupäda: Yes. Hm.
(Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 3rd November 1973. Room Conversation. Delhi.)

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